As Parents, Let’s “Parent”! by Judy Dudich

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dudich_judyI was a bit puzzled and taken aback by the comment of a former homeschooling Dad,  that his daughter had “put herself into public schools”. While I do not judge ANY parent for doing what they have discerned is best for their family; everyone’s ways will be different, and everyone must go to the Lord and find the way to which He is calling them, I do, however, feel sad when I see that parents place a burden of choice and decision upon their sons and daughters that is clearly beyond the scope of what a young person can handle.

This reminds me that there is more to life that making sure our children “feel happy”. We, as parents, must have the COURAGE to pray and seek the Lord’s will, and then carry it out, whether or not the decisions that come forth are popular with our children (especially teens).  The choices of where to live, what activities to join, where to work, and CERTAINLY where to go to school MUST come from parents. Surely we can consider our children’s thoughts and idea,s but ultimately these life-changing decisions must come from our own communion with God. To say “my child put herself into public school” is a neglect of parental responsibility; especially in a case where the parent CLEARLY felt that it would have been better for that child to be taught at home. (Even the opposite would be true…if the child wanted to be home, but the parent felt it would be better for them to be in an outside school)…

The point is:

Parents need to have the courage to parent! We can not place this burden upon a young person and then express our disappointment for a decision that should have been OURS to begin with. I am glad I had that conversation for it reminded me that while it is not always easy to discern what is best, nor is it easy to go against the grain or make a decision with which our children might not be “happy”, it is our responsibility, given by GOD, to LEAD our families and do the things HE calls us to do. We are not to hand that responsibility over to our children! We must send a message to our children that says “We love you…we place our family in the hands of God…and by His grace, we have the courage to do what we, as parents, believe is BEST FOR YOU”.

It is my firm conviction that even if our youth rebel, or are disgruntled with some of our decisions along the way, in the end, when they are grown and making decisions for a family of their own they will look back and APPRECIATE that we had the strength and courage to do what we believed was right for them; even when they did not agree.

Copyright 2010 Judy Dudich

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3 Comments

  1. I think about this a lot and hope you are right that “when they are grown and making decisions for a family of their own they will look back and APPRECIATE that we had the strength and courage to do what we believed was right for them”

  2. Agreed. I know an awful lot of people who seem to want their children to “like” them or “be their friend” instead of wanting their children to respect them–even if it means “not liking” them in the short term.

  3. That’s so true Barb! Thanks for your comments!

    And Erika…I am living proof that it IS true for I now have two grown married children who really DO express their appreciation and admit that even though they didn’t “like it” at the time…they now clearly see the wisdom behind the decisions and are grateful for it! (And there were some pretty big BUMPS along those roads, believe me!)

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