Trust – A Two-way Street by Maureen Locher

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Maureen Locher photoI wonder if moms fully comprehend the immense power they hold in their hands. Once a child is born a mother lives for her child. Her reason to be is forever altered – tipped toward the best interest of the child. No decision is made without considering the welfare of that child. I really can’t remember what my priorities were during the brief B.C. (before children) years. I wanted to get through school, marry and have kids. I guess that was about it back then.

And BOOM…five children in six years, the death of one, and life with four remaining boys followed.

I was never a casual mom. I took the responsibility quite seriously. My boys were my world. And they knew it; they felt it. They were my gift from God, and I treated them accordingly, perhaps because I knew they were only on loan – mine for a short while. God could reclaim what was His; He’d done it once.

We five were like one entity for many years. My husband orbited at work providing the necessities of life, but my boys were mine. A great pleasure and an awesome responsibility. I never asked why God took one child back so soon; I never quite understood what I’d ever done to deserve the other four.

Looking into my boys’ eyes I saw love and trust shining back at me. My sons knew that they could count on me no matter what throughout all phases of their lives. They shared their joy, and came to me in times of trouble. And I thought that was about the best feeling in the world. Until today.

This afternoon one of my brothers and I attended a family meeting to chart the progress which my dad has made since entering rehabilitation after a debilitating fall. My dad is a week shy of 90 years old, and very “with it,” so he, too, attended the meeting. All therapists praised his efforts and detailed his on-going goals to regain the life he had pre-fall. Back and forth we listened and talked for nearly an hour. The goal uppermost in my dad’s mind is to join my mom, his wife of 69 years, in assisted living. This is why he works so hard at therapy. Toward the end of our discussion the therapists asked my dad what he thought would be best. Without hesitation, in a strong clear voice Pop said, “I trust my son and daughter completely to decide what is best for me.”

A definite Kodak moment.

My mind has not completely wrapped itself around the immensity of trust proclaimed in that one short sentence. It’s one thing when day-by-day we gain the trust of our own children. They’re little. Babies are born as trusting beings counting on their parents to care for them. So if we moms do it right, we do gain our children’s trust. But to have the man who gave life to his children put his life back into his children’s hands is the greatest gift he could ever give us. As with my boys, I can’t seem to figure out what I ever did to deserve such a father. Pop is my gift from God, and I will treat him accordingly because I know he is on loan – mine for a short while.

Copyright 2010 Maureen Locher

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