If God has a purpose for every one of His creations, what is His purpose for me? Sometimes I wonder. God has definitely opened up a whole new chapter of my life forcing me out of my old routine and into a new, dealing with the day-to-day worries associated with my parents’ recent move into assisted living. It consumes me. My parents are always on my mind, and when I sleep I often dream of them. It’s hard to get away. But maybe that’s because God doesn’t want me to get away. He knows how much time my parents have left on this earth; He knows what’s coming. And He knows how much I will miss them when they’re gone. So maybe, just maybe, He’s pushing me to spend as much time with them as I can – while I can.
God knows my heart. He knows I can’t say no to the responsibility. Everybody tells me to visit less frequently. My husband, my friends, even the facility staff wonders why I feel the need to stop by nearly every day. But none of them knows what my parents have done for me my entire life. My parents have given me unconditional love since the second I was born, sacrificing, working hard, to form the kind of environment where love flourishes in abundance.
And now, there they are in a new, confusing environment. No matter how attractive I try to make their surroundings, when they wake up each day they’re not waking up at “the farm,” the home they’ve loved for 38 years – the home they found one day in 1972. I was in the eighth grade and I hated the place! I didn’t want to leave the only home I’d ever known. I had no vision; my parents had immense foresight and the energy to make their dream a reality. Remodeling took one solid year, but once it was complete and we moved in, it was positively a lovely place to live. The farm was home.
As much as I know my parents are where they need to be, they are not “home.” In times to come, perhaps they will begin to feel at home in their two connected rooms, but until then they need family around them whenever possible. If they are no longer able to see well-loved treasures, they need to see well-loved faces. And so, they will see mine as often as possible no matter what. My purpose is clear.
Copyright 2010 Maureen Locher