Raising Boys by Christine Watkins

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watkins_christineThe following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas . . .

Things I’ve learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy! .
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR’s do not eject “PB &J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. Eighty percent of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

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  1. Mrs. Colleen Yeh on

    I like to buy large quantities of Full of Grace for the prisoners, low-income, homeless and protestants for my ministries/missions. I’m a 3rd order Franciscan, a lay evangelist/missionary. My missions are to help saving souls and promote our Catholic faith. What discount you maybe able to give me. My Medjugorje USA magazine gives me 30% off. I give them away for all the things I buy. I have reference from a Carmelite priest. My tel No. is 403-256-5107. I hope to hear from you soon.I’m reading the copy to-day from Michael Brown. I donate a lot to save souls like divine mercy, Medjugorje, Immaculee Ilibagiza. I hope to hear from you soon so I can place orders. I have served 4 prisons, natives in Alta, Manitoba, Sask, etc.fallen away Catholics, protestant ministries like Salvation Army. I also serve Mother Teresa’s order in Alta. God bless. My time now is 3:30pm.

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