The Cost Of Romance? Two Friends by Meg McDonnell


If you’re single and looking to connect with other Catholic singles, we invite you to visit for additional resources. Today’s article was written by Meg McDonnell for

Ever wonder how much love costs? It’s got to be a pretty hefty price tag to start a new relationship — the dates, the new clothes, the cell-phone overage charges. No doubt, the wallets of both men and women (mostly the man if he’s a gentleman) take a hit at the start of a new relationship.

And most have noticed the lack of free time, which can easily eliminate quality time with friends. But did you know that the actual cost of love, as it relates to those bonds, istwo friends?

While starting a new romance can be an exciting experience, anthropologists at Oxford University have discovered it can also come at the price of shrinking your social network.

They have found that on average people have two fewer close friends when they are in romantic relationships than when they are single.

A surprise finding to some of the anthropologists who led this, but I would gather not too much of a surprise to readers here. And it probably isn’t a surprise to this Irish columnist, who says “best friendships are a precursor to romance”:

These are the friendships that mark your life and in many ways contribute to who you become, it’s someone with an influence to compete with your family and the oracle “my teacher.” A friendship like this is a place to grow away from your family in safety, a next step. And precisely because of what they give you, independence, they commit a sort of harakiri.

A next step in obsessive best friends is romance, and the best friend left behind often feeling, well, dumped. Along has come someone who offers not only competition, but another level.

A level of intimacy that all individuals long for. This intimacy includes an appreciation for one another’s personalities, gifts, and strengths, while challenging one another to grow in virtue – if and when it reaches a certain level of seriousness, a love that’s unconditional in nature, mirroring the love of God.

So while you may lose a best friend at the start of a new relationship, what you’re hopefully gaining — a best friend like no other — is a priceless gain.

If you’re single and looking to connect with other Catholic singles, we invite you to visit for additional resources.


About Author

Lisa M. Hendey is the founder and editor of and the bestselling author of the Chime Travelers children's fiction series, The Grace of Yes, The Handbook for Catholic Moms and A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms. As a board member and frequent host on KNXT Catholic Television, Lisa has produced and hosted multiple programs and has appeared on EWTN and CatholicTV. Hendey hosted “Catholic Moments” on Radio Maria and is the technology contributor for EWTN’s SonRise Morning Show. Lisa's articles have appeared in Catholic Digest, National Catholic Register, and Our Sunday Visitor. Hendey travels internationally giving workshops on faith, family, and Catholic technology and communications topics. She was selected as an Elizabeth Egan Journalism Fellow, attended the Vatican Bloggers Meeting, the “Bishops and Bloggers” meeting and has written internationally on the work of Catholic Relief Services and Unbound. Hendey lives with her family in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. Visit Lisa at for information on her speaking schedule or to invite her to visit your group, parish or organization.

Leave A Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.