Last week I sent in no column to CatholicMom. Why not? Because I had nothing to say. And when you are a writer with nothing to say, nothing to write, no one has anything to read. And the more I thought about that, the more unfair I thought it was. The Mom and Pop chapter might be over but readers out there in cyberspace are clicking on to my column wondering what is next. You and me both, Catholic mom! What is next?
Today at bible study we were told that to live a Christian life we must let others set our agenda. Certainly that has been true for me in the past six months. Life had a definite purpose. But now as I am getting back to “my” life I find the lull a little disconcerting at times. I long for peace, yet when I experience that peace in the house for more than an hour or two I get bored or lonely. When I wake up to work around my home I know my family appreciates the effort I’ve mustered in getting things back to normal, but who dictates what’s normal? I wrestled with similar issues two weeks ago. I asked my friend what I should write about. She suggested writing about the lessons learned having raised four boys and discovering that I now need a new purpose in my life. She also suggested I write about the pockets of joy I uncover in every day – the usually small yet significant cherries on the sundaes of my days.
Everyone has them, you know. Those pockets of joy which sometimes may seem so insignificant you may not comprehend their importance until you avidly begin to search for them. Today my friends and I were told about another friend who needed some cheering up. After that the only thing I could think about was cheering her up, visiting her. Those piles of clothes on my dining room table from yesterday could stay there a little longer. Heck, they were folded, and that’s a whole lot better than dirty! So I called a buddy and we drove to spread some cheer. Someone had asked us to do something for someone in need and we did it; it’s so simple. I let another person plan my agenda. I felt like a Christian today, plain and simple. I didn’t save the world, I didn’t eradicate hunger, but I said “yes” to someone whom God placed directly in my path.
When I was a mom of young ones – four boys five years apart – I knew plenty about giving life to others, about giving so much of your life away that I wondered if there’d ever be enough of me left to have a life once my sons grew up. I have wrestled with those issues for a good ten years now. Bet you didn’t know I was a wrestler until today, did you? Oh, back and forth I’ve fretted both sides of that mom coin. How much is enough? How much is too much? Why do I seem to be evaporating? What do I want out of life?
I’m not much closer to the answers, probably because the key player in my questions is me – and “me” is not what God is all about. God is about giving self away – to all comers. The insistent toddlers who won’t give us a moment’s peace strengthen us for the adolescent and high school woes. And just when we think that there’s light at the end of our tunnel our young adults throw us for loops as they try their wings. Moms always do for others. Hopefully, we Catholic moms keep uppermost in our minds why we do for others – to be like the One who gave His all for all of us.
Have a good week, ladies!
Copyright 2010 Maureen Locher