Awkwardness comes when a loved one dies. How do you console her spouse, her children, and her closest friends? I deeply want to be there but do not want to interfere with their grieving. I miss her too. The first thing people ask as they give their condolences is, “What do you need?” The truth is that they need their loved one back for now they are alone. No amount of help or gifts can give them what they think they need. God is the only one who can truly console the brokenhearted. But sometimes one may feel angry at God and ask, “Why her?” We cannot understand why God calls someone home. He has his big plan already sketched out.
It is tough to deal with death, especially when it is such a wonderful person who passes away. One is left with memories which do not always seem to fill the void. The best way to console is just to let the person know you are there if they need you: a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or just to be present. Presence is the best condolence one can give. Be open, be patient, and most of all, be ready to be there when your friend calls on you. Grieving is a process that takes time. As time passes, one will slowly heal and need their friends to assist as Neosporin. When the wound is fresh and deep, the pain stings the most. But God and time can help heal even the biggest of scars.
Copyright 2010 Tanya Weitzel