The night we got engaged (May 2, 2007)
I was talking to a friend this morning about the tendency of (some? all? Just me?) women to constantly want to improve themselves and everything around them–especially when it comes to relationships and marriage.
I want so, so, SO much to have an AMAZING marriage, be an AMAZING mother, be an AMAZING servant of God. Etcetera etcetera etcetera.
I absolutely think our desire to improve ourselves, our spiritual lives, and all of our relationships (especially marriage!) is of God. However, I don’t think it’s healthy to never be able to rest right where we are for a moment.
It’s definitely not a healthy everyday state of being for our marriages.
Michael and I have been watching a great DVD series by Dr. Emerson Eggerich called Love and Respect. (And yes, I’m the one who borrowed the DVDs from a friend and bugged Michael about listening to them, which the DVDs good-naturedly poke fun at me about:) Anyway, the DVDs talk about how men and women hear things very differently sometimes.
Something my friend and I discussed this morning was how we have realized that our husbands must constantly hear messages from us about how they are not “enough.” That they aren’t trying hard enough. That they don’t care enough. About the marriage. About work. About parenting. About the house. About their spiritual life. About our spiritual life.
Despite our good-willed good intentions, our relentless grasping for the divine–however right and noble and inspired–may sometimes need to take a couch break.
When is the last time you stopped and snuggled on the couch with your husband, took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and thought to yourself, “I’m so thankful for this moment, for this man, for where God’s brought us, for where He’s taking us, for this happily-ever-after, ordinary, quiet moment with the love of my life.” Or something like that.
I need to schedule one of those sometime soon.
As the holidays approach, my resolution is to be more restful in my marriage and in my spiritual life. God will be faithful to my prayers, and He will give me all the grace I need to grow into the person He made me to be. While He’s working on me, I’m going to work on making sure I take more couch breaks with my great hubby.
I said “yes” to a Keeper after all.
Copyright 2011 Erin Franco