Kissing and Bikinis


Four years ago, our oldest was preparing for marriage. It was an exciting time for us and as the Catholic momma, I got out the information on Catholic weddings along with the Emily Post’s “Wedding Etiquette” my mom sent me.

A very interesting tidbit about the ceremony that I didn’t know was about the kiss. There, on page 356, is a little box that explains this tradition:

“Behind the tradition”

“You May Kiss the Bride”
Why does a wedding ceremony end with a
kiss? A kiss was long believed to be the
medium for the exchange of spirits, where a
part of the bride’s soul joined the groom’s
soul, and vice versa, truly uniting the couple
as one. In some cultures, a kiss literally seals
the wedding contract, while others a kiss is
not required. Most people just think of it as
an expression of love.”

Thinking about the study of Theology of the Body, we can safely say that as “soul bodies” we are sharing our soul with the other. Our bodies are the outward sign of our soul, which is who we truly are. To be more clear,

“the sacramentality of the body is a visible sign for us of invisible realities concerning God and the deepest meaning of our existence. Our bodies make the invisible love of God visible.”
from TOB for Teens, page 20Leader’s guide.

So for this reason, we should take extra special care of our bodies and how we use it.

Besides this, a pet-peeve of mine is the practice of wearing bras and panties for all to see at pools, beaches, etc under the label of swimsuit, otherwise known as the “bikini”. This labeling has given women across the globe the stamp of approval to proudly wear underwear in public without imposing a misdemeanor infraction of indecent exposure. Asking a fellow mother of 2 daughters how they figured bikinis are different from bras and panties, she quickly without hesitation, explained that “the material on the bikinis are thicker.” Wow, so that’s how they rationalize it! Hm, last I check the bra section, they came in many different varieties which were FAR more thicker than the flimsy bikini material! What responsible parent would let their child leave the house with just their underwear on? So how do they rationalize a bikini or even for that matter any 2-piece bathing suit?

As the mother of two teenage daughters, it is mine and my knight’s job to teach them about purity, morality, and grace. In our society, these things are ignored, or unfortunately, put down as prudish and out-of-date. We are literally fighting a rapidly flowing current of liberal views and teachings, both in our public schools and airwaves. As Catholics we are so blessed with the teachings of the Church, especially as parents the Theology of the Body. With so many forms of this teaching we can find one that fits our families and season of life. At our home we are studying TOB for teens, the high school bundle along with some old-fashioned talks and discussions about dating, marriage, and making good decisions.

Modesty is not covering up, but revealing something more about the person, that there is more to the body than a means to an end, it is to be loved and cherished as God’s child. It is my wish that parents could see this for what it really is and show their children a better way, a more Godly way.

Copyright 2012 Ebeth Weidner


About Author

Ebeth Weidner, a Master Catechist and cradle Catholic who considers herself a Catholic information junkie, writes from her heart about the faith and hope she finds in the Catholic Church. She is the author of “A Catholic Mom Climbing the Pillars” blog. She is the wife of a research science Professor and mom to 3 great young adults people living on the coastal side of North Carolina.


  1. What a wonderful post!
    Thank you!
    The quote from the leader’s guide is absolutely beautiful.
    May I HIGHLY recommend a book, entitled, “My Dearest Sisters” by Ryan Kraeger. He is a Staff Sgt. in the US Military and wrote this book in dedication of his own sisters, cousins, and others in his life…it is one of the BEST writings on the subject of modesty/purity that I have ever read.

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