Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?

I came across this on a blog a while back. A fellow mom was sharing how she asks her children to “test” their speech–especially with one another–with this:

Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary? 

I definitely need to work on all three of these in my own speech…especially the necessary part.

I was shy and fairly quiet for much of my early years and into college. When I said something in a group, I generally tried to at least have something substantial to say most of the time.

Not that I’m a huge talker these days, but my speech is definitely much more “loose” and chatty than it used to be. Too often I find myself saying unecessary things: over-explaining myself, going off on unhelpful tangents, giving my opinions un-prompted…simply saying things that are not necessary or helpful or illuminating or edifying.

I do this in my marriage (And oh how the unnecessary can be just as harmful to good marital communication as something untrue or unkind!).

I do this with my friends, family and acquaintances.

I do this with the butcher at Kroger and the barista at Starbucks.

I do this in prayer.

This week, I came across one of those stick-it-to-you-when-God-wants-you-to-hear-it verses in Proverbs.

“He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit has understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”
-Proverbs 17:27-28

Some of the most mature, wise people I know are also the last ones to speak or offer their opinions. I want to work toward that, to be a person whose presence is thoughtful, calm, and even wise. For my children’s sake. For my marriage’s sake. For God’s sake. Because I think God asks that of all of us, in some way.

Just something I’m working on these days. :)

Copyright 2012 Erin Franco

3 Comments
  1. Erika
    February 10, 2012 | Reply
  2. Seanda
    February 10, 2012 | Reply
  3. Erin
    February 10, 2012 | Reply

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