Editor’s Note: Today we welcome new contributor Marissa Nichols to the CatholicMom.com family. Marissa blogs at The Theology of Laundry and will be joining us twice a month to share her wonderful perspective on life as a Catholic Mom. Welcome Marissa! LMH
“Stuff happens”(which is my euphemism for what really happens) at home especially when said home contains children within it’s walls.
Due to its dense population of parents, Heaven sympathizes with the interminability of the run-of-the-mill chaos that comes with raising children, and Heaven answers with exactly the kind of miracle your family needs in the given moment.
I’m not referring to cleaning-related miracles. I’m thinking of the practical ‘miracles’ the ‘other side’ catapults into domestic life just to help you survive that day without completely tearing your hear out or collapsing in a heap of frustration.
Some may argue that these aren’t ‘miracles,’ per se. But, whatever, you know when something shouldn’t go right but miraculously does. Such in the case of the following domestic ‘miracles’ (really!) that I’m convinced we all need:
Miracle 1: The infinity-of-space miracle.
Heavenly miracle synonymous with the miraculous invention of the “space bag,“? How can that be, you may be wondering? Wonder no more, dear reader…it just is.
Freezers, purses, under the stroller baskets: this is the miracle that happens when your items grossly exceed the capacity of your “stuff holder” and yet somehow something else (read: your water bottle, purse, the kids’ sand bucket/shovel combo, and hey, even the soccer ball!) fits.
Beach bag about to rip at the seams (can you tell I’m from California?)? No way, says Heaven! That trip to the sea is necessary to avoid those counseling session you will need from being cooped up all day and falling victim to another case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
That’s not for you, dear child rearing, child of God! Heaven to the rescue! Bing! Now it all goes in, more or less precariously. Blessed Mother knew ahead of time that you would need that extra hand to push your stroller, and eat that ice cream cone. She understands…
This miracle also applies to cabinets, pantries and refrigerators. Freezer door not closing? Meh, just squish the max pack of fish sticks in between the fries and whatever that packet of meat was when you first bought it (now, oddly enough, it squishes). Don’t worry! God provides! It’ll ‘fit.’ And anyway, God also invented duct tape to help you out.
Miracle 2: The “reappearing in the place where you should have left it” miracle.
Your keys, wallet, or that universally annoying remote you keep misplacing; isn’t it nice to know that St. Anthony ‘has your back?’ I can’t tell you how many times something has ‘appeared’ out of the blue either where it is supposed to be or just randomly, even in places that I’ve already searched and previously came up empty handed. Without this one I would either die or be stranded somewhere…and then die.
Miracle 3: The “lasting longer than it should” miracle.
Your bottle of hair conditioner (toothpaste, cosmetics or anything else that makes you feel normal), the gas tank, or that hot dog condiment that starts to seem bottomless, I’m convinced the hand of God is been. Why not? Look at the gas prices…and look how many hot dogs your kids eat! God knows what you need! He knows when his people are being economically squeezed unjustly. And anyway, God is all about ‘solar,’ …and probably hot dogs too. Probably.
Miracle 4: The “unexpected snack/dinner-in-a-pinch” miracle.
You’re in public. The kids are screaming “snackyyyyyy!” at the top of their voices in a way directs everyone’s gaze to your direction. As you dig frantically in the bag for snacks, you imagine that all parents within earshot are assuming your kids must subsist on a cruel diet of banana skins and the salt that falls from saltine cracker. You wonder to yourself , ‘Why didn’t I pack the fruit snacks?! ” when, Bing! a bag of fishy crackers suddenly manifests itself. Thank you, Heaven!
Look, this definitely qualifies as a miracle, especially when you don’t know how those fish got there, nor do you even remember shopping for them. But, hey, they’re there, they smell fresh-ish and the kids can nom nom their way into a contented cracker coma. Yay! Now, you are beaming with the confidence that everyone is thinking you’re parent of the year! Because it’s all about image, when you’re a parent.
This miracle also applies to when a ‘dinner’ (read: a can of Spaghettios) appears in your pantry or when that duct tape on the freezer door finally gives and ‘dinner’ falls out (even if it is frozen pierogies).
Hey, I can take a hint. Frozen food falling out of the freezers may the closest we get to manna from Heaven these days. No complaints here…and I’d probably prefer perogies to manna anyway.
Now it’s your turn. Can you think of anymore domestic miracles we all need?
Copyright 2012 Marissa Nichols