Giving Your Husband Your Full Attention


Lately, I have been distracted when my husband tries to talk to me.  I find ways to keep busy, when what I really need to do is just sit for a moment, look him in the eyes, and listen to him.  A little attention is all he is asking of me.  But after a whole day of tending to a toddler’s pleas, nursing when asked, and dealing with tantrums, I am just so tired of being asked for things.  The difference is that my husband was there before our son, and he is an adult in need of my attention and love.  He is part of the reason our son was born and my love for him should still be nourished.

Bedtime would be a good time to have a private conversation over a glass of wine, but unfortunately, our son doesn’t always go to bed, or stay there, when we tuck him in.  There has to be communication between spouses in order for family life to have a solid foundation and be enjoyable.  The further apart a married couple grows, the more they become like roommates.  They are still lovers after children are born, but it becomes more difficult to make time to nourish that part of themselves and their relationship.  Both husband and wife long for each other, they just need time to tap into that part of their souls.

With our celebration of Father’s Day this weekend, it makes me appreciate all my husband does for Linus and me.  Sometimes fathers are not given enough credit for what they do, only what they don’t do.  I tend to focus on all the things I do for my husband, instead of showing my appreciation by listening to him.  The best thing I can do for my husband for Father’s Day is to become a less distracted wife during our conversations.  He deserves to be in love with a good listener, not just a good cook.

Copyright 2012 Tanya Weitzel

Photo credit: Mary R. Vogt, Morguefile


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  1. Your words reminded me of a question posed to me in confession a year ago. The priest asked me who was most important in my life. I said my children and husband. He corrected me and said that my husband should always be number one. The love we share for each other will overflow to our children in abundance if we are loving each other first!! It is hard to do when we have young children especially. They demand so much from us mothers especially. We must really work at making time for our husbands and marriage. We can and need to pray for God’s Grace to help us balance both our marriage and family! Thank you for this reminder!

  2. As most of our interaction is over the phone, my husband is an over the road truck driver, I find my self struggling to pay full attention. I find that we often talk when I’m deep in the business of cooking or tending to our three girls or I wait until they are in bed. By then, I’m exhausted! I’m either half asleep or just distracted. I am working toward simply being available to him. I know it is only a small thing to ask, but sometimes it’s hard. Thanks for this post. It came at just the right time.

  3. Thanks so much for your comments and for reading! It is a blessing to hear the echoes of others going through similar situations.

  4. My wife has taken time of from working for the past 6 years to help 3 kids with their education which leaves me as the sole breadwinner. I try very hard to ensure we are financially stable but she has accused me of not helping out with their education. I’ve been refused physical intimacy for the past 6 years too! I go to bed with a heavy heart and leave for work with sadness too. But I will never stop hoping and praying for her to come back to me.

    • I pray that she does. Thank you for sharing about your life. You really love her very much and I hope she sees that.

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