On my “introduction” post, Lisa asked how often I am in touch with my parents and siblings, and what seems to have worked for us.
Well, I will be honest: I don’t have a set schedule for talking with either my parents or my siblings. If I remember correctly, during my freshman year I spoke with my parents on the phone about every 10-14 days. Sophomore year, it was probably a bit more spread out. Of course, going overseas for a semester changed the manner of our communication. I found an iPhone app which allowed me to call home for free over wi-fi, but for the most part, we “spoke” via email and maybe a once-every-three-weeks Skype chat. This year, I’ve been speaking with them about every three weeks.
Of course, with the advancement of media, it’s inevitably changing the way I (and probably more than 90% of other college students) communicate with family back home. In between the times that I speak with my parents, we certainly email more than once a week, and sometimes it’s 7 days in a row! Email helps us “keep up” with small things in between the longer talks. They can see my photos on Facebook and they both read my blog faithfully.
As for my siblings, they are each very busy with families of their own. I talk with my sister about once a month. We tend to text randomly throughout the week, and email a little bit as well. My brother and I don’t keep up as much, but this doesn’t seem to hurt our relationship when I go home and we have family time together. Again, technology has influenced these relationships, and I read my sister’s, sister-in-law’s, and brother’s blogs. I’m also beginning to receive little emails from my older nieces and nephews, which is a lot of fun and helps me stay connected in a different way.
I’ve been blessed that I’ve never been homesick. I’ve missed people, certainly, but I’ve never “just wanted to go home”. I know that my family is always there when I need them, and because I know that, I honestly just sometimes forget to call. I think a lot of that has to do with what I think is a healthy balance of communication and giving me the space I need while I grow and learn for myself.
The balance of keeping in touch while learning who I am is tricky. I think you would have to talk to my mom about whether she thinks we’re in touch enough (maybe she can pipe in via the comments!), but I personally find my communication with everyone back home to be just right.
Copyright 2014 Allison DeWolf