This morning my life was a mess. Literally, that is. Figuratively, my life is very mess-y, but certainly not a mess! This is EXACTLY the life that I always wanted and prayed for (I just have to remind myself of that occasionally!).
I walked downstairs after my too early wake-up call, and I was greeted by…a mess. Even though I had just cleaned up just hours earlier (well, it seemed like just hours earlier!), there were toys everywhere. I caught myself in time (not easy before coffee), and I greeted my children warmly instead of reacting to the mess!
“Aren’t you glad we didn’t wake you, Mommy!? We just started playing!” Gee, by carrying all the toys from the basement into the kitchen for me to break my neck on, I thought. How nice. ☺
Breakfast meant spilled cereal, spilled apple juice, and spilled yogurt (almost 2-year-old insists on doing everything herself!). You wouldn’t mind, but the kitchen floor was mopped just last night.
I had to abandon my laundry efforts to get to preschool on time…and, socks without mates are taking over my bedroom. Cecilia tried on every pair of shoes (literally, I think…everyone’s shoes!) and left them. Every crayon in the house (exaggeration) is under the dining room table (never mind that there is a crafts table in the playroom!), along with tons of scraps of paper left by someone just learning to use scissors (not an exaggeration).
There were snotty noses and dirty diapers. The minivan is quite scary unto itself. I try to clean all the food/drinks out daily…but, there is always a “treat” that surfaces from under a car seat weeks or months later.
Problem is, I often overreact and forget the goodness and blessings behind the messes. I feel so much more peaceful and in control when my life is orderly. I tend to go a little crazy when faced with a bunch of disorder. I’m working on it…but, it’s so hard to work on things “in the moment” (especially when the moments never seem to stop!).
Then this morning on the way to preschool, I heard a lyric that was perfect for me (love that!). It was from Amy Grant’s song Better Than a Hallelujah, and it said, “Beautiful, the mess we are….”
Ah! As I sang along, it hit me how these messes are making me into the woman and mother that I am called to be. I thought back to when I had a very neat, very orderly, and very quiet apartment. Oh, how I prayed so much for the pitter patter of little feet! Those little feet are now making messes, and I never want it to stop (well, I do want to clean up in between the messes! And, no messes after 8 p.m.)!
I pray that Mary will keep all women struggling with infertility so very close to her Immaculate Heart and that through the intercession of St. Gerard and St. Gianna, they will be blessed with children. And for all moms in the trenches with small children, that we may find beauty in the messes and live out our vocations with patience and peace! Amen.
Copyright 2014, Trish Bolster