What I Didn't Say

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Marriage and the "Innocent" KillerMy husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary recently! The priest at the parish where we attended Mass that week, makes it a point to acknowledge any upcoming birthdays or anniversaries. We stood up to acknowledge our anniversary and usually there are a few other couples who stand up too, he asks how long they’ve been married and everyone claps. This time however, we we’re the only couple. He asked us how long we’d been married and then out of nowhere, he asked me, “Is there anything you’d like to say to him.”

I was dumbfounded. What? Huh? Say? Right now, in front of the entire congregation? I found myself telling myself, say something nice! So I blurted out “I love you,” in a quick moment of desperation. I felt ridiculous, that that was all I could think to say to him. Why hadn’t I taken this opportunity to thank him for loving me, why hadn’t I taken that moment to witness about marriage to the congregation? Why didn’t I thank him for always putting up with my moments of crazy?

What I didn’t say was more disconcerting to me than what I said. I felt bad, that the only thing I could think to say was I love you and I felt like I needed to apologize to my husband for not coming up with something original. Then the priest asked my husband what he would like to say to me, and he answered, “I love you too.”

Vainly, I was relieved he had replied with the same term, but then I remembered the power in the words we were speaking to each other. Society unfortunately, has taken those most meaningful 3 words and turned them into something you say to anyone, at any time. While some people use it to get what they want, others use it to talk about loving their favorite t-shirt or home decore item. But I needed to realize that I was saying it to my husband and that held the most meaning in my life.

I told my husband that he’s the person that I have loved, do love and will continue to love. What this moment has also reaffirmed in me, is the importance of always telling those around us how much they mean to us. Since my mom passed away years ago I have felt compelled to make sure people know how I feel. I know my mom knew how I felt and I don’t ever want to regret not showing my love and appreciation to another person. I’ve even shared nice things with people that others have said about them, just in a case they hadn’t said those nice things to them.

So now’s our chance to say what we haven’t said. What is that you want to say to that special person? I’m off to tell my husband what else I wanted to say!

Copyright 2014 Courtney Vallejo

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About Author

Courtney Vallejo is a Catholic wife and mother who lives in California. She and her husband are raising and homeschooling, their three adopted children. She holds a Master’s degree in Film Production and a California Multiple Subject Teaching Credential. She also writes for her own blog, courtneyvallejo.com.

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