I have always wanted to be a published author. Since the 6th grade when I won a Young Author’s Contest. I always wanted to give people a different perspective, not to change their perspective permanently but just to give them a different way to view the world for a moment. When I truly discovered my calling from God to move people closer to God I was convinced I needed to do this through a book. Then I was rejected numerous times for different book proposals about God.

A friend asked me the other day “Why do you want to be a published author. You are a writer, you have been writing daily for years and people read it.” I began to really reflect on this question for a few days. I think that writing a book reaches so many people and can plant the seeds of a relationship with God. But my friend said something else that truly made me think, “Teaching has a power that is underestimated. We have more power to influence others than most careers.”

Is it vanity? I want to be known and patted on the back for attempting to pursue my purpose in this life? I know I don’t want to be rich, I really don’t want fame. I really just want to be a published author. I see others get book deals and publish their 3rd or 4th book and think why are my ideas not as good as her ideas? What is it about me that is so easily rejected? But maybe that is not my lot in life. Maybe teaching, writing,speaking and learning more about my faith is where I am suppose to be right now. Maybe I should just leave the rest to God and let go of that dream. When we let go of what we grasp so tightly our hands are open to receive what God wants to give us. I am just not sure I am ready to let go just yet.

Do you have any dreams that you are not sure are for vanity or for God? Do you think it is time to turn it all over to God? How and when do you make that decision?

Copyright 2014 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp 


About Author

Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp - mom of 4 teens/wife for 20+ years. Lori has been writing at her own website Faith Filled Mom. She writes about the journey of faith we live daily and the ability to recognize God. She is a retreat director at Sacred Heart Academy HS. She just earned her MA in Pastoral Ministry as well as a certification in spiritual direction.


  1. Lori, Just today I was again on the bandwagon reminding aspiring writers of the crucial importance of small-audience blogs. It applies to everything we do. Evangelization is a soul-at-a-time enterprise, and some of us have more depth than breadth to our work. Depth — making more intense connections — seems to have the most eternal impact, in my experience. I’m forever grateful to the work of, say, Catholic Answers in my reversion; but it was friends who had time to talk to me one-on-one that actually steered me back into the Church and kept me there.

  2. Thank you Jennifer. You are right it is the personal connections that we make that move us deeply and bring us closer to our faith. I appreciate your view point. It makes me feel like I am doing what God has called me to do when I hear real experiences from others. Thank you so much for sharing yours with me.

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