I have been watching over you every step of the way. I felt your joy and apprehension at the moment you found out you were carrying new life within your body. I felt your fear as you wondered whether or not you would be a good mother, whether or not you would be able to take care of the child growing in your womb. I felt your disbelief and wonder that your body would be able to bring forth a person into this world. I heard every one of your prayers, begging me to help you be holy, loving, compassionate and tender. I also heard your prayers asking me to help you be strong as your endured labor and delivery.
And now your baby is here. You have helped me to bring life into the world. You too know the pain and joy necessary for new life. And even now, I am with you- through the struggles and the joys.
You are a wonderful mother. You are not yet perfect, but I didn’t choose you to bear this child because you were already perfect. This child was chosen for you and you were chosen for this child. I don’t make mistakes. I know you often feel helpless and inferior, but those are lies. You look at other mothers and think you should be more like them. If they are virtuous and holy, longing to be like them is a beautiful desire, but you are not someone else’s mother, you are your child’s mother. This child, whether you were expecting him or not, is my gift to you. He was my deliberate choice. He was given specifically to you and not to anyone else.
Other people have their own opinions about how to raise a child. I know you find it frustrating when they always seem to be telling you what to do with your baby, but I need you to forgive them. They mean well in the end. Remember this, even though it doesn’t make the pain of their words any less poignant. Forgive them often. Holding on to pain will only lead to bitterness and hatred. I made you for so much more.
Listen to what other have to say, watch how others live out their motherly vocation and then take from them what works best for you. Come to me in prayer and discern how you are being called to live out this vocation.
Although there is always more to say, I will leave you with this: remember that you are never alone. Those seemingly endless days of feeding, changing and holding your child can wear on your spirit. It can seem as though your life has become boring and pointless as you play the same games over and over again. The world screams that you have to be doing more with your life in order to matter. Being home alone with a child isn’t a “real” job, isn’t “worth” anything. Your presence is real to your child and your love is worth more to him than money or a profession. I will send you help when you need it. I will send you companions, but they might not be what you were expecting. Offer up your pride and accept their help. Trust that I have not and will not leave you alone or give you a burden to bear on your own.
I am with you always.
Copyright 2014 Stephanie Gulya