“My husband is always right.” I blurted out at a class on the Theology of the Body we were teaching.
The other women in the room giggled quietly, then asked me, “Are you being serious?”
I responded with a strong, “Yes!”
In this culture of husband-bashing, sitcoms portraying dads as dummies, and water cooler complaints, it is hard to imagine that I feel my husband is always right, but I do and he is.
How can I be sure of this? Well, I fully believe in the passage, “Wives be submissive to your husband.” (Eph. 5:22) I have found, after almost 25 years of marriage, that the more I trust my husband to lead us, the better job of steering our family he does.
When a household has two leaders, chaos ensues. I read about a two-headed snake named Dudley DoRight. One day, in a power struggle, one head swallowed the other and the snake died. I view marriage in that way. Power struggles often lead to the death of that union.
“But I’m usually right!” I know, many times women see things in a universal way as opposed to the linear way men view them. So how can we allow ourselves to be led by someone who doesn’t always see the big picture?
Cultivate a marriage of respect and open communication.
Most women instinctively know the best time to approach their husbands about difficult issues. Resist the urge to just push your point of view or ideas and wait until you and your spouse can have an open exchange of ideas.
Remember, the other part of that Scripture states, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.” (Eph. 5:25) He should respect you and your opinion so much, that he is willing to give his life for you.
Pray Scripture for your husband.
My non-Catholic friends actually taught me how to do this. Find an appropriate Scripture and insert your husband’s name, then pray it in earnest. I have found this to be a powerful experience and do it quite often. (This also works when praying for your children.) Some ideas can be found at, http://catholicnotebook.blogspot.com/2013/07/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband.html.
Here are a few examples of praying Scripture:
- Let my husband trust in The Lord, with all his heart ad rely not on his own intelligence. Proverbs 3:5
- As for my husband and our house, we shall serve The Lord. Joshua 24:15
- Lord, help my husband to love me as you loved your Church. To be willing to lay down his life for me. Ephesians 5:25
Fast and make sacrifices for your husband.
Scripture reminds us that fasting can drive out demons (MK. 5:29) and that there is no greater love than to lay down your life. (John 5:13) We can do that by dying to self in small ways and letting our husbands take the lead.
Trust your husband!
Too often, we humans think we have the best (only) solution to a problem. Trust begets more trust. When your husband feels the weight of those big decisions on his shoulders, he is more likely to seek guidance from God. Men are, by nature, wonderful problem solvers, so let them solve problems. Use their natural strength and inclination as a way to demonstrate how much you rely on their guidance.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Women can be very confusing sometimes (even to ourselves). If you only want to vent to your sweetheart, then state that up front. Say something like, “You are a great problem solver, but I just need you to listen and let me vent. I don’t need any answers, just your attention as I explain how I am feeling.”
For a concrete example of how I saw this play out in my own life, please check out my article at Amazing Catechists, “Grace in a Blue Sweater.”
Copyright 2014, Mary Lou Rosien