Claiming My Role In The Crucifixion of Christ

Quote Mt26:24

©GFelter 2015. All rights reserved.

I wonder who I would be in the presence of Jesus and the High priests. Entering into Holy Week I struggle with my part in the crucifixion of Christ. Fear. Fear of retribution, fear for my own life, fear for the man Jesus consumes me. Would I, or rather could I rise to take action? I find myself amidst the crowd shouting in unison, “crucify Him!” fulfilling my role in the proclamation of the gospel. A profound experience that tugs at my heart every year.

The role of Judas is something I often reflected on, especially during Holy Week. I tend to root for the underdog. Hoping, praying, and wishing that this year will be different. This will be the year Judas will say no to the silver and go for gold; meaning he won’t sellout his friend. But alas, Judas is weak and frightened and takes the silver. Unable to reconcile with his role in the murder of his friend he is tormented and ultimately takes his own life (Mt. 27:4-5). Then I came across the book “Iscariot” by Tosca Lee. (View my review here) I have never viewed the beloved betrayer the same. I value the perspective this fictional piece offers. Putting myself in the role of Judas and with the purest of intentions I was there to spare the life of my teacher, my friend.

If I am truly a follower of Christ I would like to believe that I would be compelled to manifest this truth through my daily choices to love and serve God to the best of my abilities. Alas, that beautiful gift of free will grabs hold of my best intentions and I find myself wandering off in some other direction than intended. The greater disservice, injustice, and sin of my free will can be found in my own inaction. I then consider the apostles, their intimate knowledge of Jesus, and yet even they held their tongues when it seemed to matter most. So, what then makes me think I would not do the same?

Easter. Easter joy is what makes me believe that I am all the more compelled to manifest the truth of Christ. I dwell on this side of His resurrection with an overwhelming joy that I pray is palpable by all I encounter. With this joy and knowledge I assume my role and proclaim “crucify Him!” fulfilling the prophecies of old so that I may be reconciled.

In what role do you see yourself in living out the passion of Christ? Any Veronicas or Simons? Share in the comments below.

Copyright 2015 Gina Felter.
Image © Gina Felter 2015. All rights reserved.


About Author

Gina Felter, wife, mother of five, adventurer and techie. She enjoys sharing her zeal for technology and has served at both the national and local levels in support of Catholic social media endeavors. Currently pursuing a degree in Computer Information Systems she embraces the intentional use of technology while being informed of potential vulnerabilities. Gina nurtures her soul in nature with an active prayer life enjoying outdoor adventures such as cycling, running and hiking. She invites you to learn more about her adventures at and welcomes your comments or inquiries at [email protected]

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