Almost one year ago, my husband went to the podiatrist for a persistent problem on his big toe. One thing led to a number of other things and he was in the hospital for twelve days. It was awful and difficult and at times frightening. By the grace of God, some serious medical interventions and many life changes he is now doing better. I want to say well, but I am unable to use that word because it might imply life is back to where it was. It isn’t.
At some point one or more doctors said that it would take about six months to be back to normal. Six months came and went and frustration began to set in. At some point I realized that “back to normal” was not going to happen anytime soon. It was in the acceptance though that I am able to start adjusting to the changes in our life.
The bizarre thing about these changes though is that they are not quite visible to others. Most people are impressed with how well my husband looks while I am trying to hide my new wrinkles with longer bangs. In some ways I cannot even explain what these changes are to our life. They are very subtle and almost hovering just beneath the surface.
I am here months later still contemplating what if? In terms of choices and decisions made in regard to health concerns. Almost daily I am reminded that life is fragile but we have so many opportunities to choose wisely in our care of it. There is no way to un-do what happened last summer. And while I do not believe it was part of God’s plan for the events to occur the way they did, I believe that he can take all of this mess and something beautiful will come of it. The key though, to making it beautiful is for us to follow his will much more closely.
God gives us answers to our questions and puts people in our lives that can help us. How often do we ignore those answers and people? Do we choose a path based on what is best or what is easiest? Do we wait on God to fix the problem or do we actively seek solutions and stay in prayer to be guided by him?
I pray daily for wisdom to know the next step and wait in hopeful anticipation as we begin a new journey.
Copyright 2015, Deanna Bartalini
Photo: “Natures_way” by JulesinKY (2006) via Morguefile.com.