Got a Grudge?

Photo by mantasmagorical, 2007,

Photo by mantasmagorical, 2007,

This girl is NOT happy. It looks as if she’s mad at the world, doesn’t it?

I’m sure she’d love to be happy, but what does a person have to do to achieve that?

Some of the happiest people, I think, are those who accept life as it is. They look at the good things around them with appreciation. They let go of the less than ‘good’ things with the idea that they learned something from them. They do not walk backward toward past hurts. Of course, this is hard to do.

Many of us are disposed to holding grudges about what he or she did to me. We can’t let it go. We have to have some recompense–to balance things, we say. We let the ghost of yesterday take over today. And some of us allow that vindictive ghost to run our lives.

This will not bring harmony to family life.

Pope Francis questioned pilgrims about the harmony of their home lives at the Sunday Mass held on October 27, 2013, during the “Day for the Family” in Rome. “I would like to ask a question today. Everyone – how will you carry joy home in your heart? How’s the joy in your home? How’s the joy in your family?”

What is our answer to his question? Harmony denotes peace. Holding a grudge is hardly peaceful. Real joy comes when we accept that not every one has our best interests at heart, but that some do. And shouldn’t we focus on the ones who do, rather than the ones who didn’t?

What he or she did to me is in the past. No one can change the past. We have only the Present. And we can most assuredly make our Present, and possibly our Future, worse when we concentrate on a grudge. We may even destroy what is good in the here and now by our vindictiveness.

So let’s turn our backs on those ghosts. Let’s look around to those family and friends who bring us real joy, and concentrate on them. Then, I think we’ll be able to see ourselves in the Present. We’ll see ourselves as ‘doing just fine.’


Copyright Kaye Hinckley, 2015
Photo by mantasmagorical, 2007,


About Author

We welcome guest contributors who graciously volunteer their writing for our readers. Please support our guest writers by visiting their sites, purchasing their work, and leaving comments to thank them for sharing their gifts here on To inquire about serving as a guest contributor, contact

1 Comment

  1. It’s hard for mr not to hol a I grudge I had a best friend for 14 years before. I mart her in catholic bible study she decided to go non catholic churc because she left she was not rally being fed the word of God.
    I had felted the same however I was a head of hear already on non catholic. Bible study the only reason. I went was too see how the catholîc studies where . Well boring long story short after 29 yeas of being away I came back. B/c we had place our don in catholic soon I was amazing how we do ready the bible but still no catholic support group how ever I wake goin to stick it out and learn a lot by myself taking studies on line . well at the time I was comparing about my husband she tol me off and said ‘ she was trie of listen too me and too go back to the Catholic Church were I be long she wa so up set that I couldn’t say a thing. It’s been 3 years since we have spoken a mutual friend of ours or ask her if I would be willing too meet up for coffe I told her no she has hurt me too much and I never want to be hurt againlile. That’
    Don’t no if I did the right thing but my husband feels I am right .
    My question I’d how do I let go of that grugde ?
    Thanks ,

Leave A Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.