Are you a full-time mom? Would you like to share your experience with Brazilians? I am writing a book about the mothers who chose to dedicate themselves exclusively to their families. The goal of this book is to stimulate more mothers to choose that “career.” I want to make working moms think about WHY they work and to tell them that staying home with their kids is a very noble thing to do.
We have some cultural differences between Brazil and the USA regarding that subject. Here in Brazil, full time mothers face a lot of prejudice. Here is just an example: a 36-year-old mother started working again some months ago, with 2 children ages 3 and 1. She was practically forced by her husband and in-laws to work again. She suffers a lot with that. She wanted to stay home, but the pressure was so great, that to have some kind of peace, she found a job. She spends most of the money she earns to pay the school full-time for her children. Here public schools are really bad, so if you want a reasonable education, you have to go to private schools. All schools are only half-period, or mornings or afternoons. It´s not like in the US where the children have lunch and other activities at school. So if you are a working mom, you have to pay extra to some special schools that have both periods. And that is expensive. So most women I know that work have this problem: spending up to 90% of their income for full-time schools. And to me, that’s nonsense.
That’s why I thought about this book. I know most women won’t stop working just because they read my book, but maybe they will think about how to educate their children: both boys and girls. Here, girls don’t have the chance to choose to be a stay-at-home mother. From a young age they are stimulated to look for a career. Boys are not told they are supposed to provide for their families. They grew up thinking their wives should help them in that. So most of the time I think I´m raising “aliens,” because my children are taught just the opposite.
I started a research project to see what my working friends think about staying home. Most of them said that they would like to, but their husbands wouldn’t agree. My male friends said the same: it is unthinkable to not have their wives’ income. So what I’m trying to do is to show these women that want to stay home that is a good thing to do and to the husbands that the math is this: they get only 10% of the women’s incomes, the rest goes to schools. Another point women say is that they need personal realization and that they will get only if they work. They don’t see the wonderful gift of raising children. They think is a kind of “second class” job. For them, a woman stays home only because she is not capable of getting a job. They say men only will value them if they have a good job. That kind of makes me sad.
So that’s why I need your help. Everybody here looks up to Americans, so if I can have some Americans’ testimonials saying that is a good option to be a full-time mom, maybe this can touch some hearts.
If you’re willing to help, please send me an email and I can give more details. Of course, you can write in English and I’ll provide the translation. I thank you really much for your support and ask Our Lady to keep blessing your home.
Copyright 2015 Flávia Ghelardi
Photo via Flickr (2010) CC by 2.0.