Lessons In Forgiveness

Copyright 2015 Courtney Vallejo. All rights reserved.

Copyright 2015 Courtney Vallejo. All rights reserved.

As a parent, I always think I’m the one who is supposed to be the teacher in my household. The other day, I was reminded that my children can teach me just as much, if not more sometimes, as I can teach them.

Yesterday morning was less than delightful in our home. Nothing too amazing, just a typical tantrum over the frustrations of getting dressed. It was silly, really! But I realize looking back that while I might have thought it was silly, for my child, it was huge. I get so wrapped up in trying to teach them what matters and what doesn’t in the grand scheme of things, that I forget that they don’t always see beyond each moment. Maybe they’re better at living in the moment than I am? Maybe sometimes I need to stop and realize that for them, this is a defining moment. The moment they need to be given the help they are asking for or shown the compassion and empathy they are seeking rather than being told “It’s fine,” or “Just let it go and move on.”

Looking back at the tantrum, I had wished I hadn’t tried to use it as a teaching moment, teaching patience or perseverance through struggle. I wished I had just shown my daughter that I am there for her and if my children ask for help, I’ll come if I can.

Later in the afternoon, while driving home from school, I pointed out some of the ways the tantrum had affected the whole family. As I was making the comment I even wondered what my point was in sharing this information and again, wished I had just let this tantrum go.  When we got home, my daughter, handed me the note you see in the picture. “We are sorry about what happened this morning. Can you please forgive?” As I held back the tears I thanked her for the note and asked her to forgive me too. I couldn’t believe the power of seeing that apology on paper. I was taken aback at how it impacted me so much more than a verbal apology. On top of that, she wasn’t asked to say she was sorry, she wrote this letter on her own accord.

So, I’m left learning the power of forgiveness from my daughter. I’m left with the impression on my heart of the impact of a hand-written apology note. Hopefully I’ll take this lesson as a teaching moment for myself and remember this as an option next time I need to ask someone for forgiveness.

What are some lessons your children have taught you? 

Copyright 2105 Courtney Vallejo


About Author

Courtney Vallejo is a Catholic wife and mother who lives in California. She and her husband are raising and homeschooling, their three adopted children. She is the cofounder of www.amomrevolution.com, whose mission is to inspire, encourage and reclaim joy in motherhood. She holds a Master's degree in Film Production and a California Multiple Subject Teaching Credential. She also writes for her own blog, courtneyvallejo.com.


  1. Elizabeth Pardi on

    Thank you for the much needed reminder, Courtney! It’s so easy to “forget that they don’t always see beyond each moment.”

  2. Thank you, thank you for this article. With three teenagers in the home, it’s very hard for me to just let things go sometimes. I feel the immense pressure, as one of my children could be gone in less than a year, to try to impart as much wisdom as possible before they go. I don’t want to fail them. I have to remember that with the Free Will that God gave me, choosing to be right is NOT better than choosing to trust HIM!

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