This post is part of our Ordinary Time, Extraordinary Mercy series, in which CatholicMom.com contributors will share their own experiences of living the Year of Mercy. Beginning at Pentecost and continuing through the summer, we’ll cover many aspects of the Works of Mercy in family life.
I sit writing this piece with my bullet journal laid out before me. Every Sunday night, I sit with this journal and reflect on the week past, pulling forward all of the things left un-done, reminders yet to be heeded and burst of ideas that need fleshing out.
As a small business owner, stay-at-home mom of two boys (in full summer glory), with a husband who is gone 15 hours a day, I run everything. I meal plan, food shop, do laundry, clean, help with piano practice and theory, make sure the boys are getting their Karate forms right to graduate, pepper in some fun time at the pool, ensure they read each day, and even help out other parents, on occasion, who need sitting when their plans fall through at the last minute.
When I’m not doing all of that, I am embroidering, trying to fill up stock in my online embroidery shop for the fall and holiday season, run an online bible study, interview other makers for my weekly maker feature on my website, guest post here, and at other large online collaborative sites a few times a month. Oh yes, and I have a puppy. I almost forgot about sweet Lucy.
Where’s time spent with God in all of this? Where is Adoration? Where is that extra Mass a week I had every intention of continuing after Lent? Where is time to pray the rosary? I’m a living Martha with Mary dreams. I know I can’t be the only one.
Here’s an actual look at my week. We are headed on vacation and I am in a bit of a panic. Why? Because I have to cram everything into the first half of the week, or I’ll be anxious. Did I schedule the bible study prompts? Did I upload the interview to run on Friday? Are all of my husband’s shorts washed and ready to pack? Did I reach out about getting those necklaces so the 2-week lead time wouldn’t throw my embroidery timing off track? All of these things that I need to do take away from what He needs me to do. I know He’s there, in between the lines and boxes I long to tick. Don’t be fooled by 7PM Mass on Tuesday; I’ve not gone yet. Notice that I prayed the rosary yesterday. What it doesn’t say is that I prayed it while I fell asleep – and I am sure that was after the 3rd mystery.
Here’s what else my bullet journal doesn’t tell you. I wake up every morning, and before I even put my feet on the ground, I say “Lord, today is your day. May I remember that in the rush of to-do’s. Mary, Mother of God, help me to offer it all up from dishes to dinner and listen.”
He loves me. He sees me. He knows that I try. He knows that I am aware of my Martha/Mary imbalance and I think, He loves to see the creativity with which I attempt at creating more space for alone time with Him. How does this look? Prayer at stop lights, walking with the boys as we pray the rosary around the neighborhood, reaching out to a friend in pain and taking their son for the day so they can pause, offering up my Communion each week for someone other than myself or my family. None of this is on the schedule. But He sees it and knows that I love Him too.
Copyright 2016 Cristina Trinidad