In a conversation with a dear friend, I half-jokingly blurted out, “I am afraid that I am ruining my kids!” My thought circled around the fact that I lost my patience the night before and yelled at the kiddos to listen the first time I ask them to do something. Okay, maybe that bled into a stern lecture that included thoughts like ‘money doesn’t grow on trees, if they break it, they’ll replace it and pay by chores if they don’t have the money!’ Then, 20 minutes later, I realized that I may have just crushed their little spirits.
Shame on me. I know better.
Yes they needed some discipline but that next morning I wondered if maybe I was doing this Mom thing wrong. I started to doubt my abilities. I felt that maybe I just wasn’t good enough, gentle enough, or patient enough to properly take care their little spirits!
The same morning I had that conversation with my friend, I walked out my door, and saw the bird nest in our tree. Though I’ve seen the nest many times, that morning I stopped dead in my tracks. I saw the Mommy bird, perched on a branch just above her babies. She had a worm in her mouth and was feeding her babies, one by one as they raised their beaks in the air, waiting for Mommy’s catch of the day. As I watched this happen, I realized that this bird knew exactly what to do for her babies. This feeding was instinctive; she was created with this ability to provide food for her babies and she knew how to do it. She did not read books on how to feed her babies. She did not have to ask others how to sustain her babies’ lives. She likely did not doubt herself if she had to fly away and go get more food or if she accidentally gave one bird a bigger serving than a sibling. She always had it in her…to mother her babies.
Why do we doubt our own ability to mother at times? Yes, we may not do everything right. We may make mistakes. However, this Mommy bird reminded me that we should not let one weak moment lead us to doubt that God has given us what we need to raise our children with love.
Could my family have benefited from a more gentle approach the night before? … Yep, probably. I did the best I could at that moment. And upon reflection, I determined what to do better the next time. This bird family reminded me not to let one moment of imperfection judge my entire role as a mother. It reminded me that God gave me the strength and wisdom to care for my children, and sometimes I do well and other times, I fall. But either way, by leaning on God’s wisdom and his gifts for us, we Moms are enough.
We must remember, that God granted us the grace to mother. Might we have lessons to learn? Of course. Should we be perfect? Of course not. Will we have missteps and misfires? Yep. However, let’s not let our doubts derail us to the point of us questioning if we are enough.
If you have ever doubted your abilities in Motherhood…remember that because God our Father granted us the ability to mother with love, we already have it in us. Instead of doubting I hope we all learn to spend more time asking God for His wisdom in how to Mother to the best of our ability. Let’s not beat ourselves or each other up (in real life or on social media) when imperfect parenting moments occur.
Acknowledge the highs and lows, learn and do better next time. Keep your head up. Moms…you ARE enough; in fact, you are better than enough. God, your Father, made you that way on purpose. Learn, grow and give yourself and God our Father some credit!
Copyright 2016 Meg Bucaro