Today’s Gospel: Mark 1:21-28
True confession of what kept me from embracing Jesus and his teachings in my own life was a fear of change. The demons in today’s Gospel fear being destroyed by Jesus – in a way, I harbored this same concern, although mine was more an undoing of my current way of life. I knew there were behaviors and habits that I not only exhibited, but rather, I must admit, enjoyed, which did not coincide with a burgeoning understanding of what it means to be a Christian. A large part of me was unwilling to let go of who I was, to be who God created me to be.
As a board member of the PTO, I never missed a meeting. As a professional gossip, I never missed the social gathering after the meeting. Some weeks I felt as though I was holding court as I shared stories and laughs at other people’s expense. Gossip and the judgment of others was my comedic outlet; I was convinced my life would be boring and lived in isolation without it. What do I possibly have to say that others would want to hear and still be funny? Yet, as I read more scripture, spent more time in prayer and participated more fully in the Sacraments I knew it was time to abandon this behavior.
At first my fears were realized. Many of my old companions were not interested in the new ‘holier’ Allison. Like my first boyfriend, this new love affair drove a wedge between many friendships. However, this time my friends were wrong – He was the best thing for me.
What the demons missed – and gratefully I did not – is that the destroying of what separates you from God opens the door to re-creation into a much better you.
What behavior or habit do you feel Jesus asking you to destroy, and have you obeyed or been reluctant out of the fear of change?
Lord, reveal any behaviors and habits that you wish to destroy in me. Although I may struggle to let go of them, please do not cease to provide me every grace needed until I accomplish Your will.
Copyright 2017 Allison Gingras