I have been learning about cosmology and the new universe story. It’s all about how the love of God burst forth in the Big Bang and that explosion led to all the elements, stars exploding, and stardust evolving into the existence of all of creation. In the tiniest sub-particle of creation there is a sameness. God is the energy and love that released the creation of everything. With this understanding settling into my mind it is difficult to grasp my concept of God and our intimate relationship.
Yesterday, I was blessed with seeing my spiritual director. We discussed my idea of God and the belief I hold that God is within me, humanity and divinity. My difficulty was from this traditional idea of God as human, I believe Jesus Christ was human and divine, but I mean my prayer life pointed to God in a human way. I wondered how then would I pray to energy and love? How would I continue to understand my purpose or passion? It’s as though the Holy Spirit took the blur out of my eyes when we discussed how I feel drawn to different purposes and I feel energy and life with certain passions and that is all from God. We discussed the idea of some who refer to God as the Beloved, such a sweet sound. We discussed that I don’t have to figure everything out. I need only to be aware and to let it unfold with time and awareness.
I believe God intends for us to grow in all ways: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. This spiritual direction internship is aiding that growth and I need to sit with it in contemplation knowing that although there will be change in my relationship with God but that it is an unshakeable relationship no matter what form it takes.
Copyright 2018 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp