Today’s Gospel: John 20:19-31 – Divine Mercy Sunday
I have a very special relationship with St. Thomas. He’s the patron of my childhood parish and he is one, of many, loveable screw-ups in the Gospel who I can relate to on a basic level. Why? Because we both have said what feels like the worst sentence imaginable: “Ok, God, prove it.”
I’ve said it a million times in a million different ways, sometimes through blinding tears and sometimes with a mocking tone. I forget about the Resurrection and the Gospel message and all of the things that God has done for me and with me since birth and I insist, no…I demand proof.
Show me you love me. Show me it will be ok. Show me You are good. Show me that I am good. Show me, show me, show me.
And the beautiful, undeserved response to my toddler-like demands? God somehow never tires of showing me His love and mercy. Sometimes I’m too stubborn to accept it or too busy to realize what it looks like, but our Father reaches across time and space to show me how beloved I am.
On my part though, I really need to work on listening to the latter part of Jesus’ words: “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” The faith and trusting place in our hearts? Mine needs some work. And how to fix that? More practice than seems reasonable. Intentionally saying to myself: “Today I will remember that the God of the universe died and rose for me. He doesn’t need to prove Himself but today I will prove that my love for Him will not waiver, no matter the circumstances.”
I know you love me. I know it will be ok. I know You are good.
What is one thing you can change or add in your daily routine to prove your love and commitment to the Father? (Extra prayer time, saying hello to someone who may get ignored, etc.)
Lord, thank You for never turning away when I yell my demands or criticize Your plan. Help my faith to grow so that I may be one who doesn’t see but still believes.
Copyright 2018 Jennifer Durney
Jennifer Durney ministers to the young church of the Diocese of Erie in a variety of roles, all of which try her patience and stretch her heart in the best ways possible. She is blessed to share her passions and her life with her husband, Matt, and is in love with being Momma to their beautiful daughter, Vivianne.
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