I stooped at the waist to pull a few weeds. A twinge in my back caused me to stagger a bit so I lowered to kneeling and moved closer the flowers — a familiar intimacy.
The rose next to me was Tuscany, a maroon heirloom rose, its richly perfumed center was fluffy with gold pollen. The base of the dark velvety petals were tipped with white where the keel connected to the calyx. It gave the illusion of light radiating from its center. ‘Tuscany Superb’ is a polite shrub rose that remains relatively compact, at about four feet high and wide, and its stems are covered in hairy prickles rather than the usual woody thorns.
I worked my way a little farther down the garden bed, scooching along to where the Oriental lilies ‘Pink Pearl’ grew. The oversized anther pads floated on fine pale green filaments above the white edged petals. A humming bird zoomed in, took a couple quick sips from the lily’s trumpet and darted off.
The roses and the lilies, the fragrances known in July, rustled enough of me into the moment that the anxieties of the past few weeks eased.
I had been nearly consumed by worries, what were perceived as potential threats. A ghost from decades ago had returned to haunt, and fear bit hard like a hungry dog on grizzled bone.
I’d become terribly upset and thrown off balance, losing the comfortable peace so well known in my days. I attempted to regain perspective through regimented worship: intercessory praying, Rosary, Liturgy of the Hours, Mass, and Adoration. Tentatively I reached out to others for prayer, and shared the situation with a group of peers. They acknowledged my fears and began their own intercessions on my behalf.
In all this, it wasn’t until I lowered myself to the ground did the tension seep away.
To kneel on soil — instead of on padded wood — is to join oneself intimately with the Creator, to lean into, and on to, God. To arch the back and offer one’s hands to toil with joy or tears, distract, alone, loved or not, is to embroider the earth with prayer.
We are placed upon this sod of love spared from the Garden of Eden. For as low as our lives are from the heavens, we are, always, the humus of the earth — from it and to it, nourished and nourishing, full circle in the created affections of God. We scratch upon it. And not all scratching is fruitful and not all seeding sprouts.
It is the effort to draw closer to God that brings us to our knees. And every prayer waters the ground that rears us to our sainthood.
Copyright 2014, 2018 Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. OSB