During trials or suffering we want to make sense out of what’s going on. As a Catholic, I have learned on my faith journey that suffering is not wasted if we unite it to our Lord on the cross. Even though I know this suffering is still hard, especially when it involves my son.
My son has struggled with anxiety and depression for the last three years. He is eleven now, and he is better, but it’s very hard to see him suffer. It is especially hard when his hurt is caused by the choices others have made.
When he was at his lowest he was very angry with God. He didn’t understand why God would allow his suffering. He wanted God to remove the hurt or stop those that were causing it. I tried to explain that God had given us free will, and therefore pain exists.
God in His wisdom answered our question on the Sunday when the Gospel was about the woman who bled for 12 years and touched Jesus and was healed. We had a visiting priest that day, Father Edwin, whom we knew from another parish. He is young and very passionate about sharing the love God has for all of us.
In his homily he said, “God did not create death — He doesn’t want us to suffer!” My son and I were sitting in the third pew, mesmerized by his words and beautiful explanation and insight about suffering. In that moment, my eyes filled with tears and I felt a peace I cannot explain. I just knew that Jesus was talking directly to us and giving my son the answer I, as his mother, couldn’t. He was giving us the answer we had been looking for in the midst of our suffering.
We left that Sunday with a beautiful comfort only we could understand. Perhaps it was like the Angel God sent Jesus in the Garden; He couldn’t stop the pain His son would face, but He wanted to let Him know he was there with Him every step of the way, just as He is with each of us.
Copyright 2018 Elizabeth Estrada