Parish Secretaries Can Help Keep the Doors Open

I have been enjoying our Holy Father’s daily homilies. He gives such down to earth advice and teachings. Many of his words nourish me.

So you could have knocked me over with a feather when last Saturday he started talking about parish secretaries!

Really? Why was he talking about us?

The gospel reading was a favorite of mine from Mark: Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Mk 10:14)

Pope Francis was talking about people who approach the Church should find the doors open. He said so many people want to get closer to Jesus and “… we think of so many Christians of goodwill who are wrong and that instead of opening a door they close the door of goodwill.”

Then he mentioned parish secretaries … twice!

“Think of the good Christians, with good will, we think about the parish secretary, a secretary of the parish…”

And he gave two examples of parish secretaries closing the door. He gives an example “of a single mother who goes to church, in the parish and to the secretary she says: ‘I want my child baptized’. And then this Christian, this Christian says: ‘No, you cannot because you’re not married!’”

And another example of people wanting to get married and the parish secretary says ‘Oh, well, have a seat. If you want the Mass, it costs a lot…”

Oh dear. We parish secretaries do have a reputation, don’t we?

So how do I respond? The last thing I want to do is come off as being defensive. After all he did call us “good Christians, with good will.”

The truth is that I absolutely agree with our Holy Father about welcoming all who wish to find Jesus and keeping open the doors of faith. After all, I am a Benedictine oblate. Hospitality to others is an important part of Benedictine spirituality.

St. Benedict had a lot to say in his rule about how to live in community. Some of his (paraphrased) instructions include:

Show equal love to everyone.

Do not act in anger or nurse a grudge.

Express opinions with humility.

Welcome all guests as Christ.

Ahh. There it is. Welcome all guests as Christ.

I do my best. I have never said those things that Pope Francis talked about, but I also know that I am not perfect. I know I fall short some days in the welcoming department.

And I know I cannot possibly do my job without praying. A lot. Every day.

So I turn to Jesus over and over and over. St. Benedict wrote in his Rule that the disciple should “prefer nothing to the love of Christ.”

Sounds like something Pope Francis would say.

Copyright 2013 Colleen Spiro

God Sent Me a Reminder

One recent Sunday morning, I decided to check my email before going to Mass. Among my emails was a review of my book, The Third Floor Window, and I was excited to read it right away.

Unfortunately I was surprised to discover that it was my first negative review in 5 years and it upset me. It upset me a lot more than I care to admit.

I went to Mass feeling a bit down about it. When we got to church, I made a visit to the Blessed Sacrament in our chapel for a few minutes. I then went to sit in a pew, a little earlier than usual. It was quiet, not many people there yet.

I was not there long when a woman came over to me and said she needed to tell me something and she began to cry. She told me that she had read my book and it had helped her so much. She too had been sexually abused.

I almost cried, too. And I thanked her and told her she had certainly picked the right time to tell me.

Looking back, I realize that was all a God-incidence. Normally I spend more time in the chapel with the Blessed Sacrament and I have no time to talk to people before Mass. It was early enough that there was no one else around us so we had privacy. And then for this to happen the same day I got that bad review.

I think God wanted to remind me that I did not write that book to boost my own ego. I had a much different purpose. I had written it primarily to help other survivors and friends and families of survivors. And that was more important than any one review.

Amen to that.

Copyright 2013 Colleen Spiro

Who’s In Charge Here?

“…That day all his planning comes to nothing.” – Psalm 146:4

“Man plans … and God laughs.”

Or so I have been told.

I had great plans for Lent. I had chosen the book I was going to read. I had worked out my fasting and almsgiving. And I could not wait to dig into the daily devotionals.

I felt prepared for Lent. I was all set.

Or so I thought.

And then Pope Benedict made his surprise announcement that he was retiring from the papacy. At that moment all my plans went out the window. My thoughts and prayers and tears were all about our beloved pope who was leaving and I could not think of anything else.

And then my thoughts and prayers and tears were all about who would replace him and I thought we would never see white smoke.

The good news is, I have certainly been focused on God. I have been praying and hoping and doing my best to place my trust in Jesus. I have cried tears of grief and tears of joy.

And, underneath it all, as the world watches this drama unfold, my heart soars with joy and praise to our God. Our God who is shaking up the world.

And reminding all of us who is in charge.

The other day I saw a picture of the two popes together. They had lunch together. They prayed together. And I was blown away by the realization that this may be the first time in over 600 years – if not the first time in history – that two living popes spent time together.

Our God is a God of surprises. Any time we think we are in charge or we are supposed to be in charge, He finds a way to get our attention.

He certainly got mine.

I think my Holy Week is going to be different than usual. In fact, I know it is.

And all I can do is laugh.

Copyright 2013 Colleen Spiro

My Thoughts on Il Papa

Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” And Peter said to him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” (John 21:15)

I have no doubt that Pope Benedict has been hearing these words for a long time.

Do you love me?

For years the Holy Father has been feeding Jesus’ lambs. Now he has shocked the world. He is retiring. The first time a pope has done this in close to 600 years. Did he hear that question again?

Do you love me?

We know Pope Benedict loves Jesus. We know because of the way he writes about him and teaches about him and talks about him.

“He is the greatest miracle of the universe: all the love of God contained in a human heart and a human face”. - Pope Benedict XVI, Sunday homily, 7/8/12

I cried when I first heard the news of his leaving the Chair of St. Peter. And my eyes have welled up with tears quite often since that moment. Sometimes with sadness and grief, but more often with love and awe.

Awe that the Holy Father has done such a brave, humble thing. Awe that he has laid down his life for Jesus and for His Church.

Like others, I have my own memories. As a convert, Pope Benedict is the only pope I have known from beginning to end. His apology to some of the victims of clergy sexual abuse, face to face, grabbed my heart.

And I remember so clearly, standing in St. Peter’s square, looking up at the first pope I had ever seen in person. And my eyes welled up with tears again. That was the moment I knew I loved il Papa.

Pope Benedict has been a faithful shepherd. Word has it that he did not really want to be pope, but he said yes. Now the Jesus he loves and serves is asking him again, “Do you love me?”

“Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” (Jesus) said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him, “Follow me.” - (John 21:18-19)

Copyright 2013 Colleen Spiro

Worried about Worrying

“Worrywart” is a strange word. I looked it up in an online dictionary and it means a person who worries “unduly.” That sounds like me.

I have been a worrywart all my life. I don’t like worrying, but I sure do a lot of it, especially lately. Ever since my husband’s two hospitalizations this past summer, I have been such a wreck. I worry about him constantly and I know I must drive him crazy.

We recently went on a deacon’s retreat and this worrying business was very much on my mind. When we were offered the opportunity to go to confession, I decided to go.

I told Father about my worrying and how I knew it was bothering my husband. It was even keeping me up at night. I told him I knew I needed to let go and trust in God, but how was I to do that?

He then gave me the scripture verse that I am very familiar with, but for some reason had not even thought about reading and praying with it -

“Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your lifespan?” - Luke 12:25

No, I cannot add a moment to my lifespan. Or my husband’s. I knew that. However, I felt so much better after going to confession. Celebrating that sacrament. That encounter with Christ.

Oh, I am still a worrywart, but I am getting better at letting it go. I am trying to enjoy the present moment more. Because the present moment is where we are, my husband and I.

And that is also where God is.

“Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom.“ – Luke 12:32

Copyright 2013 Colleen Spiro

Wait for the Lord

Whenever I would get impatient, my spiritual director would quote this verse to me from Psalm 27. Most of the time I expected him to say this, but sometimes it would come out of the blue and I would have to just laugh.

I do not wait well.

I am hung up lately on keeping balance in my life. St. Benedict taught about the importance of keeping balance between work, prayer and study.

I don’t do balance well.

Work. I have been so busy at work. I skip lunch. I worry about work when I am not there. And then I work on my computer at home, on my book, my blogs and my website. I enjoy it. I really do. But what happened to balance?

Study. I have not been reading lately. I love to read. But not lately. Why? I am too busy.

Prayer. I have not been praying like I should. I love to pray. I live to pray. But it is also a struggle lately. Prayer should come first. Obviously my life is not as balanced as it should be.

And I do not have some meaningful quote to give you or an epiphany of some kind. I am just struggling with it. And sometimes that happens. We get caught up in something and we have to wait it out. We can try to do our best to fix it, but then we give it to God and wait it out.

So that is where I am at. Waiting it out. Trying my best to balance on my own and then praying that God will fix it for me. Or point me in the right direction.

After all, it is almost Advent. Advent is all about waiting. And hope. And new life.

Come Lord Jesus, come.

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

Finding Home

“But how could we sing a song of the LORD in a foreign land?”  – Psalm 137:4

I feel as if I am living in a foreign land these days. I have felt this way since my husband’s health crisis last summer. I do not recognize myself nor do I recognize my feelings. It is as if I am a stranger in a strange country.

So I read this psalm over and over and I know that I am not alone. Others too have felt like they were in a foreign land. It is one of my favorite scriptures to go to when I feel lost or afraid.

One of the things I love about the Psalms is that, no matter how I am feeling, I can usually find a psalm that speaks to my heart. Most, if not all, of our emotions can be found in these beautiful verses.

As I feel myself starting to return to the land of the living, I take time to just breathe and rest with God. And I pray that I always find my home in the Lord.

Perhaps it is time for me to leave this foreign land behind. I read the next psalm and wouldn’t you know?

It is time to sing.

“I thank you, Lord, with all my heart; in the presence of the angels to you I sing.” Psalm 138:1

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

Time with God

I guess I am dating myself if I tell you that Jim Croce was one of my favorite singer-songwriters. And his song, “Time in a Bottle,” is still one of my favorite songs. He wrote it for his then unborn son.

Jim Croce died at the age of 30. His son was only 2 years old.

“If I could save time in a bottle …” If only.

Time is a problem. There never seems to be enough of it. We make lists. We try to prioritize. Still, we run out of time. We run out of time to do the things we want to do and to do the things we need to do.

And so I have to ask myself, do I make enough time for God? Do I take God for granted? Do I leave my prayer time for last?

If I want a close relationship with God, if I want to really know Him and recognize His presence in my life, then the best thing I can do is spend time with him.

Mass. Adoration. Liturgy of the Hours. Personal prayer time.

Ah. Personal prayer time. That thing we cannot seem to find time for. That thing we need to find time for.

That time to listen. To be silent. To be with God.

Whether it is 5 minutes or 10 minutes or 1 hour – taking time to just be alone with the Lord is so necessary for our personal relationship with Him.

We need to take time to hear His voice in our hearts. We need to take time to know God.

Time. It is a gift from God that we need to give back.

Let us then a thousand times a day turn our eyes upon this loving will of God, and making our hearts melt into His, be one with him. – St. Francis de Sales

from – my newsletter, Prayerful Morsels, Sept. 2012

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

Snapshots

About a month ago my husband started having TIA’s, otherwise known as mini-strokes. He was in the hospital for 12 days and underwent life-saving surgery. Writing has always been a way for me to deal with the ups and downs of my life. These 4 weeks have had plenty of both. Here are some of the moments that have stayed in my mind, like snapshots in a picture album.

The Call.

It’s the call you never want to get. It is my pastor. My husband has had some kind of attack at church. He was in the middle of doing a baptism. An ambulance is there and what hospital do I want to send him to? They put him on the phone and he tells me he is OK. Don’t worry, he says.

Don’t worry? Right.

Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary.

The ER.

I walk into his room and his mouth is drooped to one side. His speech is slurred as he tells me what happened. Doctors come in and out. Tests are done.

His speech is clear for an hour or more. Then his speech starts to slur again. I run to get a nurse so someone can see exactly what happens to him. Seven hours later he is finally admitted to the hospital.

Seven hours.

Surgery.

His carotid artery is over 70% blocked. He needs surgery or he will have a major stroke within the month. He continues to have TIA’s everyday. Often 3 or more. The surgery is risky but it is more risky not to do it.

I watch as they wheel him away to pre-op, looking frail and alone and I would give anything to take his place. I have never seen him looking more vulnerable. I hold back the tears so he doesn’t see them, but fear grips my heart.

Family.

My children and stepchildren are all there with me and their father at one point or another. I remember thinking how grateful I was and relieved that I was not alone. As we wait during surgery, there are at least 10 of us there. One of the volunteers in the waiting area remarks that I have a large family and what a support they must be. Oh yes, I say. I don’t know what I would do without them.

Waiting.

The surgery was supposed to be about 2 hours. We wait and we talk and we try to read. I play a silly game on my phone. I cannot concentrate. After 2 hours, I can feel my anxiety increasing. Why is it taking so long?

Then, just when I think I cannot wait one more minute, someone says, there is Dr. K. As he walks toward me, I struggle to stay in one place, not wanting to run ahead of my family who also needs to hear what he has to say. His face has just enough of a smile that tells me it is good news. And it is.

I turn to my family and cannot hold it in any longer. I sob like a baby.

Two shall become one.

I have experienced this many times in our marriage but no more so than now. I feel each hurt. Each fear. Each needle stick. Each anxious moment. They might as well be doing all of this to me.

I feel better when I am with him and I am a mess when I am home alone. And I cry myself to sleep every night, wishing I was the one who was sick.

The anniversary card I gave him said this – “I couldn’t have dreamed of a better you or asked for a better us.”

God.

I am a person of faith. And I know that it was God who carried me through these days.

God was at that baptism where someone was alert enough to know something was wrong and went to go get my pastor.

God was present in my friend who met me at the ER.

God was present in my stepchildren and children and their families. And the nurses and doctors who cared so well for my husband.

God was there in the prayers of deacons, parishioners, co-workers, families and friends.

God was present in the hug of my 8 year old grandson and the peaceful face of my sleeping 4 week old granddaughter.

Thank you Lord, for being with me in these snapshots. Don’t let me ever forget that my life can change in an instant and that each moment is precious. Each moment, whether full of fear or pain or joy, are moments to be cherished. For they are the moments of the life you have given me. Help me to live each moment, being grateful and loving and always aware of your presence. Amen.

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

Praying the Present Moment

I was working on a mailing in the parish office the other day. I had to collate the pages, fold them, and stuff the envelopes, etc. 
Boring.
 My mind began to wander and I was suddenly reminded me of the first time that I really understood the idea of how work can be a prayer.

I was volunteering at the monastery in Pecos, NM, where I had taken vows to become a Benedictine Oblate. I had been assigned to the gift shop, which needed a major reorganization and cleaning.
 One day I was asked to polish some brass statues of Mary. It was such a beautiful day that I decided to bring them outside and polish them while I sat looking at the beautiful Pecos mountains.

As I polished away, I spoke to Mary and Jesus and I prayed. I lovingly polished those statues like there was nothing more important in the world to be doing. I made that task a prayer in itself.

I cannot always be in those beautiful mountains of New Mexico. I cannot always be polishing a statue of Mary. But there is something to be said about living in the present moment. Living in the present moment and paying attention and being aware of what we are doing and offering it all to the Lord.

Living the spiritual life is not always about experiencing spiritual highs or having a mountaintop experience. Living the spiritual life is about living a real life. It is about seeing God where we are.

And serving God from where we live. And knowing that we are where we are supposed to be.

Well, I think that is holy.
 For God is with us wherever we are, doing whatever we do. And stuffing envelopes is as much of a call to service as sitting on top of a mountain.
And God is just as present whether we stuff envelopes or fold laundry or polish statues.
After all, what had started out as a boring job, became, for me, a special moment of prayer.

It never ceases to amaze me how God works in our lives.
 At any moment. 
At every moment.

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

Heartbeats: The Sound that All is Well

Heartbeats. The beautiful sound of life.

My husband had an aortic valve replacement done about 14 years ago. It is a mechanical valve and for 14 years, I have been able to hear his heart beat without a stethoscope.

Click click. Click click.

He doesn’t hear it as much as I do. I guess he is used to it. But I hear it quite often, especially when we are in a place where the sound travels well. Or I am snuggled up to his chest!

We like to have a little fun with it. Often, when the clicking sounds louder than normal, I will say to him – “You know, your heart is clicking!”

And he will say, “That’s a good thing, hon.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot.”

And we are amused when people sometimes ask us if we hear a clicking sound, as they wander around the room, looking for the source. We are tempted to say no, but we give in and spill the beans!

Click click. Click click.

When I think of heartbeats, I think of fetal heartbeats too. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and then I had some infertility problems. When I finally got pregnant again, after months of trying, I was really anxious. Words do not describe the relief and joy I felt when I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time and knew he was okay.

Pa-dum-pa-dum-pa-dum-pa-dum-pa-dum-pa dum-pa-dum-pa-dum-pa-dum.

My son’s heartbeats were like music to my ears! The sounds of life.

I am reminded of “the disciple whom Jesus loved,” who, at the Last Supper leaned against Jesus’ chest. (John 13:25) I love to reflect on this and imagine myself being able to listen to Jesus’ heartbeat.

We go through life listening for the heartbeat of God. When we pray. When we go to Mass. When we read scripture.

All of these times and more, we listen for the heartbeat of God. That heartbeat that tells us God is near. That heartbeat that tells us Life is here.

The heartbeat that tells us all is well.

My husband’s clicking heart is a comforting sound for me. Often when I crawl into bed at night, I hear it and, drifting off to sleep, I know that all is well in my world.

Click click. Click click.

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

Introverts are often misunderstood. We are not stuck-up. We are not necessarily shy. We need a lot of alone time. We need to think things out before we answer or respond to things.

And we shy away from big social gatherings. (go figure). We do not do small talk well. We find socializing exhausting. When I get exhausted at big gatherings, I go hide. Usually the bathroom. My hubby calls it “cave time.”

One of the things many introverts need is time to think. I like to think. I think about lots of things. I think about what we are going to do this weekend. I think about what I going to write about and how can I improve my website and what about marketing my new ebook? And what is my next writing project going to be? And how am I going to organize it all?

I think about God and about praying and about writing about God and praying.

I think about my family and my friends and my job and my ministry. I think about how I am going to face the coming week and how I did this past week and I think through what I am going to say to hubby about something that is on my mind and how can I ever get my taxes done if I don’t keep better records and is my sister feeling better? And when is my mother going to be able to retire anyway?

I think about going to the beach because I get such refreshment from going there and having some peace and quiet, but I might as well wait until spring break is over because I can’t get near the beach and it is not exactly peaceful there right now … well, … never mind.

And then I decided I should think in the car on the way home from work. I have a 40 minute commute. It may not be enough time but it is better than nothing. So instead of listening to the radio or a CD, I decided to think.

Then I wondered if my thinking would distract me from driving. And I decided it would not distract me as much as being on the cell phone which I never use in the car. Not as much as the CD about Pope John Paul II that I was listening to. Or the music I sing along with at the top of my lungs!
So I spent the entire ride home from work thinking about thinking and I got no other thinking done. Now, I do not know what to write about.

So I am writing about this because I thought maybe I could think while I write or write while I think.

Maybe.

Never mind.

I wonder what God thinks about.

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

It is so important to have a regular prayer time everyday. This fidelity to prayer is something spiritual writers and saints write about frequently.

We want to pray. We hear the call deep in our hearts. We know, in order to really know God, we need to pray. Everyday.

But we seem to find excuses. We have so much to do. We plan to pray but we run out of hours in the day. And yet, we hear that call. We sense that nudge. God wants us to spend time with him.

Each of us needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy, then we need an hour – St. Francis de Sales

Fidelity to prayer is so important. Like an appointment we make with our doctor, we need to make an appointment with the Lord. We need to show up.

I don’t know why it is so hard for us to do this. Are we concerned about how to pray? Are we concerned about distractions or what to pray? Are we afraid of intimacy with God? Are we worried about what God might ask of us?

The only way to pray is to pray; and the way to pray well is to pray much. If one has no time for this, then one must at least pray regularly. But the less one prays, the worse it goes. – Dom John Chapman

So true. The less one prays, the worse it gets.

Praying daily at the same time and even the same place is ideal. Even when it is a struggle. Even when our prayer is dry.

In Time for God, Jacques Philippe wrote that fidelity to our daily prayer is even more important than the quality of our prayer. So instead of worrying about the “quality of our prayer,” we make our daily appointments. We remain faithful. We approach God with trust, knowing that He loves us just the way we are.

We bring our hearts into prayer.

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

O God, you are my God, it is you I seek! – Psalm 63:2

How do we define prayer? Here are some thoughts …

Prayer is a turning toward God.

Prayer is a deepening relationship with God.

Prayer is a conversation.

Prayer is a gift.

Prayer is grace.

Prayer is not another thing for us to achieve.

Prayer is not another feather for our cap or trophy for our wall.

Prayer is a response to God’s call.

God calls. We respond.

God always initiates. Whenever we get that thought, that idea, that nudge to pray, God is calling.

Feel like going to the chapel to pray before the Blessed Sacrament? God called you.

Feel like picking up the rosary? God called you.

Have a sudden urge to learn a new prayer? God called you.

A prompting of the Spirit catches our attention. I like to call it a nudge. How often do we ignore that nudge?

The good news is – God waits.

God invites us.

God waits for us.

God gives us the gift and we either say yes or we say no.

We either show up. Or we don’t.

And this is where we learn humility. Success at prayer is not due to our own efforts.

It is all about grace. And trust. And surrender.

And faith. We need to have faith that God is aways present. Whenever or however we pray, God is present.

In her book, A Tree Full of Angels, Macrina Wiederkehr, OSB, wrote “Prayer does nothing to make God more present, for God is always present. Prayer is our response to God’s presence in our lives.”

So how do we pray? That is for another post! Or two.

I will end this with one of my favorite definitions of prayer. This is from Sr. Macrina again –

“To pray is to touch God and let God touch us.”

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

Romans 8:26 – In the same way, the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings.

Prayer. I love to pray.

I love to talk about it. And I love to write about it.

So I have decided to write a few posts about prayer.

Not so much to teach as to share.

Not so much to discuss different prayers or different kinds of prayers as to talk about prayer in general.

Prayer as relationship. Prayer as our life with God.

I am not what you might call an expert on prayer. Or at least, I am not the “theological-degrees-after-my-name” kind of expert.

But I have learned a lot by praying. I have read the saints. I have read scripture. I have learned from people with those theological degrees after their names. And I have read many books.

And of course, I am always learning from the Holy Spirit.

My favorite book about prayer has to be Toward God, the Ancient Wisdom of Western Prayer, written by Father Michael Casey. In this book, he writes that “Prayer cannot be measured on a scale of success and failure because it is God’s work and God always succeeds.”

We so often worry about our prayer. Is it working? Am I doing it right? What kind of prayer should I pray?

What about distractions? What if I cannot think of the right words?

My spiritual director often told me that 90% of prayer is just showing up.

If prayer is God’s work and God always succeeds, then we do not need to worry about whether or not we are doing it right. We just need to surrender to it. Submit to it.

Show up.

Sounds simple. It is. And yet it isn’t. It isn’t because it often means letting go and trusting. And it means that we need to stop overthinking prayer and making it too complicated.

We need to get out of our heads and into our hearts.

Fr. Casey writes that prayer “is less a question of bringing prayer into our hearts than of bringing our hearts into prayer.”

This is the direction I want to take with these posts.  I hope you will make this journey with me.

First published on my blog, Thoughts on Grace.

Copyright 2012 Colleen Spiro

“If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”

I can remember my spiritual director telling me that giving thanks everyday, even when times are tough for us, is one of the most meaningful prayers we can offer. I didn’t know how that was possible. I thought I had to FEEL grateful in order to give thanks. And how am I supposed to feel grateful when I’m sad or afraid?

Eventually I began to understand that an attitude of gratitude is more than just a feeling. It is more than being grateful for the good things that come our way.

An attitude of gratitude is about seeing the blessings in all the ups and downs of our lives, even in the darkest of storms. It is about seeing God’s loving presence in everything.

However, we don’t arrive at this attitude by ourselves. We need God’s grace. In looking back, I can see such moments of grace in my life, moments that have helped me to learn what it means to be truly thankful.

I remember those years when I attended a Catholic charismatic prayer group meeting. The main purpose of these meetings was to praise and worship God. I felt drawn to go there every week, giving thanks and praise to God over and over. And every week I went home, filled with joy.

There was the time when my husband had open heart surgery and serious complications and yet, all I could say was “thank you, Lord.” I felt such a strong sense of God’s presence with me, carrying me through every agonizing moment.

There were the years I spent working on my memoir about my healing journey as an incest survivor. And in writing it, I found hope and healing, and the understanding that there are two sides to every coin – the blessing and the curse. And I was grateful that God gave me the grace to see the blessing side to my suffering.

When I think about suffering, I think about Jesus and His suffering on the Cross. And yet, on the night He was to be betrayed, He gave thanks.

“… the Lord Jesus, on the night he was handed over, took bread, and, after he had given thanks, broke it and said, ‘This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.’” 1 Cor 11:23-24

If there is to be one reason for me to have an attitude of gratitude, it would have to be the Eucharist. Over 20 years ago, I converted to the Catholic Church and I have been grateful ever since.

The word “eucharist” comes from a Greek word meaning “grateful” or “thanksgiving.”

Eucharist.

Thanksgiving.

Two words. Same meaning.

At the Last Supper, Jesus gave thanks, before breaking the bread. He gave thanks, knowing what he was going to go through; knowing the pain and suffering He would endure for us.

And everyday, during Mass, Jesus gives us the gift of Himself.

And we give thanks.

Copyright 2011 Colleen Spiro

After a long spell of prayer, do not say that nothing has been gained, for you have already achieved something. For, after all, what higher good is there than to cling to the Lord and to persevere in unceasing union with Him? (St John Climacus, The Ladder of Divine Ascent)

Pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

To pray without ceasing seems almost impossible to do. However, there are ways to pray sporadically throughout the day and come close to praying without ceasing. The problem is remembering. Our daily schedules can be so difficult and crazy that we cannot find the time, much less remember.

It should be easy for me. I work at a church office, for heaven’s sake. I think of God and God-related matters all day. However, doing office work does not always constitute thinking of God.

For example, when I am working on such things as the bulletin, my mind is thinking of type fonts and graphic images and downloads, etc. Of course, I try to offer it up – all of my work. But that is not the same as praying unceasingly.

So I have come up with some ideas on how to pray unceasingly – or as often as possible.  (This is not a complete list nor is it in any kind of order. Also, a period of silent prayer is important sometime during the day.)

1. Saying the Jesus Prayer over and over – Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a sinner.

I first started praying this prayer years ago on the advice of my spiritual director who suggested that it would help me with my depression. He told me to pray it every chance I got. He also told me to shorten it. He said I was already depressed and did not need reminding I was a sinner! So I would pray – Jesus, have mercy.

So I prayed it for months. It got to the point where, no matter where I was or what I was doing, I would start praying it immediately. I needed no reminders at that point.

It is a beautiful way to stay in touch with Jesus all day (and yes, it helped my depression).

By the way, The Way of the Pilgrim (anonymous) is a book that tells the story of a pilgrim who prays this prayer all day everyday after hearing St. Paul’s words about praying without ceasing.

2. Alarm on iphone (or similar device that you use) – with a one-line prayer that pops up! I have mine set for three times during my workday. When it rings, I usually just breathe in the name of Jesus. At least for that one moment, I am focused on Him.

3. Write a prayer or favorite bible passage on a piece of paper, laminate it and use it as a bookmark. Put the bookmark in the book you are reading right now. Or just have it on the table to remind you.

4. Put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror (or your desk at work or wherever) – with a brief prayer or just a reminder to pray.

5. Play a Christian music cd in your car. And be sure to sing along!!

6. Keep a Rosary ring with you. I have one in my car and it is a great reminder to pray the rosary and easier to use when driving. My commute to work and church is 35 -40 minutes so I have time to pray 5 decades of the rosary. Or pray 1 decade at a time on a shorter drive.

7. Liturgy of the Hours – Morning, Evening and Night prayer (Compline).  Pray by yourself or with a group.

8. Morning offering – thank God for the new day and be sure to offer it up to Him. Any prayer will do. Here is a children’s version – Good morning, dear Jesus, this day is for you. I offer you all that I think, say, and do. Amen.

9. Examen – at the end of the day, look over your day to where you saw God. This is an Ignatian way of praying that I seem to be drawn to lately.

10. Journal – write about your life with God. Write Him a love letter. Write a prayer. Write 5 things you are most thankful for that day.

What are some of your ideas to add to the list?

Copyright 2011 Colleen Spiro

Notice. This seems to be the word of the week. It keeps popping up in my mind. Over and over.
Wake up and take notice. Notice God’s presence and action in my life.

Anthony de Mello was fond of saying that we need to wake up. We need to stop sleeping through our lives. Grace is always with us, but we are not always aware.

We are often sleeping.

We are responsible for most of our own blindness and deafness. Yet the Spirit of God goes on renewing the gift. (Bishop John V. Taylor)

I write about God and God’s presence in my life so I need to stay awake. I need to take notice. But there are many times when I am not paying attention.

There are moments and more than moments, when my focus is elsewhere or when I miss God’s presence or his whisper.

Let’s face it. Sometimes God is hard to miss. I mean it is pretty easy to spot God’s presence in a beautiful rainbow that is plastered on the sky in front of you as you drive home from work. Or the birth of a new baby.

But those little moments. Do I notice?

The dew on the roses outside my window.
My husband cooking dinner for me.
The way my grandbaby’s eyes light up when his mother comes into view.
The way the air smells after a spring shower.
A kind face showing years of smiles and joy.
A hug when I least expect it.
A child’s belly-laugh.

How many God moments do I miss? How many do I not notice?

Open your eyes and see. (Thomas Merton)

Originally published in my ezine, Prayerful Morsels, September 2011

Copyright 2011 Colleen Spiro

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. – Matthew 13:44

Meister Eckhart said that each person has a vintage wine cellar but they seldom drink from it.

The kingdom of God is here. Now. We are not always aware of it. We often walk around clueless, unaware of God’s presence in our everyday lives.

Then grace happens. Something wakes us up. And we are suddenly aware of the treasure hidden within. The pearl of great price.

When I went to Mass this morning, I was upset that I had not yet written my gospel reflection for my blog. I was tired and grouchy and not feeling very inspired.

After communion, our youth choir sang Our God Is An Awesome God. They built up to a loud chorus and then started singing a cappella. Slowly the song grew quieter and became more of a prayer of praise.

I started singing with them, praising God for all His goodness. And the next thing I knew, tears were running down my cheeks.

Sigh. Our God is an awesome God and He is here with me now. I need to go and sell what I have, let go of my wants and my to-do lists and my “should-haves” and focus on what God is calling me to do at the moment.

I need to let go of all that is not God so I can focus on the treasure within.

I need to get out of God’s way.

Grace. Free gift. We don’t earn it and we don’t deserve it. And when we least expect it, we find it. That pearl of great price. That treasure buried in the field.

That vintage wine.

Dear Lord, thank you for the graces you rain down on me everyday. Help me to live in the moment and let go of all that is not from you and to be more aware of the treasure within me. Amen.

Copyright 2011 Colleen Spiro

That is true even in our prayer life. Often “we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings.” (Romans 8:26)

Sometimes we fumble around trying to say the perfect words. Some of us pray in silence without words. Or sometimes we rely on those rote prayers we have used for years and years.

In the long run, what really matters is what is in our hearts. Even when we use the same old words we have always used, they say what we want them to say.  God knows our hearts.

When we fell in love, my husband and I ran out of words to tell each other I love you. I am not sure exactly who started it or how it all began, but as long as we have been married, we have always signed our cards and notes to each other in exactly the same way – Love forever and 2 days.

When our boys were old enough to read, they would look at the cards we gave each other. Sometimes they commented on how we signed them. I often had the feeling that they were checking them out to be sure we didn’t forget. Maybe it was a sign to them that all was well in our little world.

But I never realized just how important those words were to our children until recently when I discovered that my oldest son and his wife sign their cards to each other in almost the same way. The only difference is that they each change the number of days. They might write Love forever and 7 days or Love forever and 150 days …  whatever number they decide to pull out of the air.

My husband and I just celebrated our 32^nd wedding anniversary.  We have never bought each other an anniversary gift. Not once in 32 years.

There were always other expenses in July. School clothes and school supplies. Family vacations. However, every year we have gone out to some special place for dinner, a place where we would not normally go. We go out to celebrate this special day.

And every year we buy each other a card. My husband always picks out the perfect ones with the perfect words. This year he made sure it was at my place on the kitchen table so I would see it before going to work. It was a beautiful card and my eyes filled with tears when I read these words: I love you more than ever.

Still, I looked to see those old familiar words, written in his familiar handwriting. The simple words that express his love for me the same way they have for 32 years. The simple words that say it all because they are from the heart and I know what they mean.

Love forever and 2 days.

Just in case “forever” isn’t long enough.

Copyright 2011 Colleen Spiro