Of course we would all like to live in paradise. A place where nature is gentle and giving and people are loving and kind. A place without war, murder, lies, cover ups, guns, violence, anger and abuse. But the truth of the matter is that we live on earth and not in heaven.

God gave each one of us the gift of life. With this gift He also gave us the gift of free will. We can create havoc, violence and chaos. Or we can choose to spread love, beauty and kindness.

I was asked recently “If God is all loving, then why does He allow suffering, abuse, war and all of the hatred? Why didn’t he choose to give us paradise?” I have prayed and thought about this question for quite some time.

I believe that God gives us life, freewill and a good heart. I believe there is chaos and evil in the world.  God tries to guide us in His ways but we don’t always listen. Even those who listen and try to love others and bring good to the world have tragic things occur in their lives. But I believe it is God who gives us the strength to find the good even in the horror of the evil. I believe that suffering builds character and brings us closer to God. Jesus Christ suffered for our sins, He was scourged, whipped, beaten and humiliated; he suffered for us. God allowed His son to endure unbelievable suffering so that we may have an example of how to forgive and love others without condition. I believe there will be a paradise and a heaven where there is nothing but goodness, bliss, color and love. I also believe God asked us to bring some of this heaven to our earth through our actions, attitudes and words.

God is all loving. No matter what we have chosen to do or not do God continues to love us. It is our responsibility to bring heaven to this earth. God gave us that responsibility. Now we need to paint our little part of the earth in the bright colors of kindness, generosity, compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love. The more faith we spread the more colors can be painted.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Anna on a ski slope 5 years ago when she was 6 years old.

How quickly the hands of time do move. The time it slips so very quickly… As we bring them home from the hospital and change hundreds of diapers, feed them and help them learn to sleep. They tug on our hearts and step on our toes when they are itty bitty.

Then as they grow they move walk, run, play and develop a personality all of their own and we fall in love with them once more for who they are.

The time keeps slipping away and although the aggravation and frustration makes minutes feel like hours in the throes of home work and fights about bedtime really time is still the same.

As they become teenagers and stay in their rooms for hours on end and we wonder where did they disappear? The time continues to march on… as we look to the pictures of the past and feel the pangs of sadness, not from regret but a certain loss for what once was there has grown and changed again.

How quickly the time moves as parents watching our children grow. Hold them today, kiss them while you may for time has no agenda and the future will wait for no one. Love them in each and every  moment.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Sacrament of Baptism, Past and Present

Kathleen Chesto discusses Baptism in Sacrament of Baptism, Past and Present. She initially explains the idea of sacrament. A sacrament is an outward sign (a visible, tangible action that we take to celebrate the invisible) instituted by Christ (Christ took normal things like water and gave them new meanings) to give grace (friendship with God through opportunities to strengthen our relationship with God).

Baptism and the waters of cleansing are found deep in the scriptures all the way back to Genesis.  However, the ritual itself was derived from the Jewish heritage. It was used as initiation into the Jewish religion. In our Christian religion we see that in scripture John the Baptist was baptizing people in the Jordan to free them from their sinful lives and prepare them for Christ. Jesus had no sin but was baptized by John in the Jordan. Jesus used this symbol of baptism as the start of his new life of ministry.  When Jesus was resurrected He visited his disciples and said “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” – Matthew 28:19. The disciples did this by laying hands on people but more often using water because it was readily available.

When the persecution of Christians began the early church had to go underground. At that point anyone wanting to come into the Church had to have a Christian sponsor to witness that they were not a Roman Spy and that they were leading a moral life. They began the journey of the Catechumen. The journey would last until the Easter Vigil, when they would be baptized into the Church. Six weeks before Easter the Church was asked to pray and fast for these new members entering the Church the practice was eventually called the season of Lent.

I was amazed with Kathleen’s history lesson. She explained that the practice or liturgy always comes first. The practice becomes the tradition. The tradition is questioned and in trying to understand it we find theology (we must study the practice).  We often assign meaning to actions that were never intended in the first place.  In the 4^th century when Christianity became the religion of the empire and the church was no longer underground the catechumen disappeared and entire tribes of people were baptized. There were adult converts but many wanted to be baptized as families. That was the beginning of infant baptism. It was in this time period that there was a shift from Baptism being used to forgive sin to the idea that without baptism one could not have salvation.  With this idea in mind parents were influenced to have their babies baptized at younger ages due to the high mortality rate.  St. Augustine, believing that infant baptism had always been the norm and questioned how babies could have sin. He researched this idea and founded the doctrine that babies are born with original sin that must be washed away by the waters of baptism.  More doctrines were born from this thinking; Limbo and the Baptism of Desire.  It was not until Vatican II that we heard God loves all people with or without baptism. There was then a return to RCIA, reinstituting the old rites.

The ritual and the history of baptism formed the theology of the sacrament. It is now a sacrament of initiation bringing people into the church but also used as the sacrament to forgive original sin. The church has really wrapped up both ideas into the sacrament. We still believe St. Augustine’s teaching of original sin, although I now know why he had to state that idea.  Now the ritual has been reshaped again. We can come into the church through RCIA which started in the early days of the church or we can take part in infant baptisms which became the norm in the 4^th century.

I have been taught that the sacrament is to forgive our original sin and “get the devil out of that baby” as my grandmother would say. It is also a way to start your new life in Christ Jesus in the Church.  The sacrament has an effect on my life through my role as a parent bringing my children into the church and raising them in the faith. It is also a constant reminder of my faith and what I believe every time I say my baptismal promises and live them out in my everyday life.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Reconciliation

Kathleen Chesto opens up the history and development of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The idea of getting rid of our sins was present in a ritual performed by the Early Hebrews. They would gather as a community and place a young spotless goat in the middle of the people. All of the people would heap their sins upon this blameless young creature. They would then send it off into the desert to die as a sacrifice for the sins of the community. That is where the term “scapegoat” was derived.

The next ritual noted became common practice at the Temple. The people believed that they could purchase small animals such as two turtle doves to be sacrificed to forgive their sins. The idea was that you could pay for forgiveness. This was the belief of the culture when Jesus Christ came. Jesus taught that God would forgive sins without payment. This was radical and unbelievable to the people.

The earliest church after the Resurrection of Christ believed that Baptism would forgive all sins committed to that point. They knew Baptism should only take place one time. So the early church taught that you must not sin after Baptism. They also believed that Jesus would come back within their life time. Jesus didn’t come back and many people had committed big sins. The early church fell back on an old Hebrew idea and began to throw the sinners out of the church; they were excommunicated. One of the problems with that idea was that there were too many people being thrown out. To solve that problem the Church founded the idea of Canonical Penance which was active from the 2^nd – 5^th Century. This was the act of a sinner trying to be readmitted to the church. The sinner had to dress in sack cloth, be covered in ash and beg the bishop to make this penance. If accepted it could take seven years to a lifetime before they were fully accepted back into the Church. They became like beggars leaving their families and begging for prayers, fasting and following strict rules.

Between the 4^th and 5^th century this idea was failing and a new practice had begun in the Monasteries of Ireland. Individual confession was originally created for a monk to confess his faults and seek guidance from an older monk. It was very appealing to the people because it was repeatable. The confessor could be anyone. To make it more organized a penitential book was written sin=penance. Thus was born commutation; one could take their penance of fasting for one year and shorten it to one week of extreme fasting. Many penances took years to a lifetime to complete. Substitution then became the answer. Another person could complete a person’s penance for them. The rich would give their penance to their servants to complete. This practice of individual confession was not accepted by the Church for centuries. In the 13^th century during the Lateran Council it was accepted with rules. The confessor must be a legal representative of the church. Absolution was to be given and penance was the way you paid for your sins. So began Temporal Punishment; if you didn’t complete your penance on earth you would do so in purgatory. This practice consisted of prayer, fasting and alms giving; from which indulgences were produced. If you paid the church time was taken off of your penance in purgatory. It became very abused and led to the Reformation. Martin Luther condemned the practice. The Council of Trent was convened to refute Martin Luther. The Church said it had the power to forgive sins because it was given this power by Jesus Christ.

Finally by Vatican II the communal idea of sin was renewed. Individual Reconciliation was put into practice not in a box but a in a room with a priest as a spiritual guide as well as a representative of Christ to give absolution. General Absolution was also introduced.

The history of this sacrament completely shaped its development over time. I am shocked that people believed for so long that they could pay for their sins to be forgiven.

I believe that this sacrament is not utilized as much as it should be in our culture. If we could only understand that this sacrament brings peace and guidance to each of us then maybe more people would go back to Reconciliation. It is difficult to confess our sins face to face. However, reconciling to God and being forgiven and realigning our lives in the direction of God is worth the embarrassment.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

What Would You Do If Jesus Visited?

What would you do if Jesus Christ came to your house?

The first thing I would think to myself would be “How messy is my house?” Then I would start yelling for my kids to come and see Jesus standing in our foyer. Of course I would only have these reactions if my initial reaction was not passing out from shock.

I hope that I would wrap my arms around him and say “THANK YOU”. “Thank you for hanging on that cross for me and my children. Thank you for loving me even when I mess up and sin over and over again. THANK YOU!”

Hopefully I would not forget my manners. I would ask him to come inside and offer him a drink and a snack.

What if Jesus Christ sat down at my wobbly kitchen table, scarred from the many years of children? What if Jesus sat on the wooden bench my father in law built for us? What if we just sat and had a conversation? What if my kids crowded around him in awe? What if Jake climbed onto his lap and Spencer couldn’t stop hugging him? What if Ethan and Anna each took turns asking him questions about creation, time, space and God?

What if my husband came home and Jesus stood up from the table, spread out his arms and embraced my husband? What if every worry and all the weight of the world were lifted from my husband’s soul in that moment?

What if we sat there at our kitchen table and listened to every word that fell from his lips like drops of gold we wanted to catch and hold forever?

What if Jesus asked “Do you have a pitcher and a bowl? I need to wash your feet.”

Hopefully I would run directly to my room find the pitcher and bowl and rinse them out. I would stop by the froggy bathroom for a towel and I would bound back down our wooden steps to Jesus. I would ask Jesus if I could wash his feet (all the while knowing Jesus did not need his feet washed, he is perfect).

What if Jesus insisted “If you want to follow me I must wash your feet.”

What if we all took off our socks and Jesus knelt down on our kitchen tile floor and poured water over our toes and we felt humbled and at peace? What if he smiled slightly as he dried our feet with our froggy bathroom towel?

What if he rose up and hugged each one of us? What if hugged each child tightly and whispered “I will always be with you, ALWAYS.” Then he turned towards the door to leave. What if in awe and disbelief we just watched him walk out our front door and down our sidewalk. What if he turned to wave and then he was simply gone?

What would our lives look like after Jesus came to visit our home? After Jesus listened and talked to us. After Jesus washed our feet and loved us in person how would our lives change?

Every time we bring Jesus in our houses by talking about him he is there.

Every time we listen to one another completely he is there.

Every time we hug each other so tightly that our worries are squeezed out

 it feels like Jesus is hugging us.

Every time we serve each other instead of ourselves

we are letting Jesus was our feet.

Every time we pray and know that Jesus is there

we are listening to him whisper “I will always be with you.”

Open your door…your life and let Jesus in. If you open up he will be there in all that you do.

What would it be like if Jesus visited your house?

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp 

Never Stop Praying

“Father, if it is your will, take this cup from me, yet not my will but yours be done.”

Luke 22: 42

When we pray we say “God, I need help with this problem or that problem. For example I can’t pay my bills. I need money. Can you please help me pay my bills?” Then we play the lottery and lose. We call on God again and say “I thought prayer worked! Never mind!!” and many of us just stop praying.

God is a mystery. Our human minds will never be able to comprehend God, his thoughts, actions or immense love for us. Many of us can’t even understand or fully believe in His existence. Faith is a gift given to us by God. Faith is what motivates us to pray when we just can’t logically think it is the right strategy for meeting our needs or desires.

Prayer is complicated but at its core it is communication with God. Jesus introduces to us God as “Abba” translated daddy, a gentle, loving and forgiving father. Jesus also gave us the prayer “Our Father”.  In it we praise God ask for his mercy, for our daily bread and for the blessing what we are able to bring His kingdom to our world today.

God gave us complete free will, no strings attached. We can do whatever we want in this lifetime. Although God can intervene and does through miracles, He wants us to find the way to Him. The surest way to God is through prayer. We can talk to Him at any time, in any place. We can tell Him anything. Our prayers may not be answered the way we want them answered but that doesn’t mean He did not hear us.

We cannot understand God and we are unable to see the future. God knows what we NEED. At the end of our lives we will be able to look back and understand a little more of how those prayers were answered.

Never stop praying. Come to God with your petitions, quandaries and praise. Ask for miracles and healing. End your prayers sincerely with “Your Will Be Done.” Although we think we know what we need God indeed knows best.  Never stop praying. God loves to listen to your voice.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Spiritual Growth: The Healing Process

This is a reflection I wrote after viewing “Spiritual Growth in Tough Times” which centers around the healing process.

Sister Joyce Rupp discusses the process of healing with the analogy of the seasons. We all want to live in the spring and summers of our lives but we have to live through the difficulties of the fall and the darkness of the winter to get there. When we have been through darkness, pain, loss or grief often times we believe it will all just fade quickly and life will be back to “normal” once more.  Many of us do not realize there is a process we must first go through before we are healed and that in many cases “normal” will have changed forever, especially in the case of losing a loved one.

The first part of this journey is the wait. In our culture, we detest the wait. We don’t want to wait in lines, for food, for the future or for normalcy. We want what we want when we want it, and that is NOW. However, we must wait and embrace the waiting. Sr. Rupp uses the idea of seeds and how they need to be in the dark soil alone to break open before they can begin to grow. None of us likes the idea of being alone in the dark, breaking open and becoming vulnerable. We need patience and trust that we will heal but first we must experience the darkness. She refers to a story about a butterfly. Before the butterfly bursts forth he asks God “How much longer do I have to stay in the dark?” God’s response is “Don’t forget in the light what I taught you in the dark.” So many times when we have emerged from the long, lonely darkness we never want to revisit it or remember it because of the pain. But it is in the pain and darkness that we learn to trust completely in God. We should not forget the lessons we learn there.

The second part is watching. We need to be aware of what we are feeling and own it. Whether it is anger, self pity, sadness or despair, we need to understand those emotions. We also need to talk about the feelings. Like the road to Emmaus. Jesus allows the disciple to tell the story to Him. In telling the story a sort of healing takes place. We need to talk about the pain.

The third part of the healing is work. We need to begin the motion with compassion towards ourselves. Instead of feeling like we are doing it wrong or taking too long and comparing ourselves to others, we need to love ourselves and let things happen. We need to find forgiveness. We need to give it and receive it. Then we need to let go of the things that will hold us back from the growth. We need to let go of old dreams that stagger our growth. We need to let go of the belief that “normal” will return and instead accept the growth and our new normal.

The last part Sr. Rupp talks about is never giving up. So many times we near the end of the growth; we suffer through the pain, we witness the changes, we work through talking to others and becoming more compassionate and we accept the forgiveness but by that time we are exhausted and decide it’s just not worth the time it takes. It is then that winter has almost ended and spring is on the verge of beginning. Don’t ever give up! That is the time when we are to remember what God said to the butterfly “Don’t forget in the light what I have taught you in the darkness”. Never forget the trust and patience we put in God’s hands. We will heal and there will be life again. We just need to accept that it is a process but in the end there will be growth, new life, and spring once more.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Scared of the Dark

“Mommy, I’m scared of the dark.” Spencer said to me one night as he was going to bed.

“The same thing that is in the light is in the dark. The only difference is you can’t see it anymore.” I told him as I tucked him.

Most of us are scared of the dark. We know logically that what was in the light is in the shadows of the darkness. However, we can no longer see what was once there and we have to trust instead of fear.

Every one of us has to face the dark at many different times in our lives. We lose loved ones to death, addictions and other choices we would not make for them. We lose our security in things we have known for so long; our jobs, relationships or ideas. We don’t want to face the darkness. We want to live in the light. But there are times we find ourselves in the darkness and we have to face our fears. The decisions we make at that time are critical to our recovery, growth and development. It is natural to fear the dark as an emotion or a reaction but if we allow that fear to grow we may let ourselves be absorbed by it and it will turn to insecurity and doubt about ourselves.

We can choose to recognize that fear, embrace it and stop it. We can instead choose to trust that what was there in the light is still there in the darkness we just can’t see it. In the darkest hours of our lives when we doubt our future, ourselves and our faith we feel as though we are sinking and there is no alternative but going down. It is in those times we need to grasp our faith and God and not let go. It’s easy to love God in the light when we see the beauty of nature, the smiles of our children, and the prosperity of a hard earned career. But when the gray clouds fill our sight, our children seem distant and the career is gone, we question our faith and our God. It is in those times that faith is the most important element of all.

Know that God will pull you through. Understand that in order to get out of the darkness you must concentrate on the light. Darkness cannot overcome the light. One little flickering flame of a match can light up an entire room. Your faith in God can dispel the darkness and fear from your life. Do not give into the insecurity, worry and doubt. Instead talk to God, pray for His closeness and trust that He will pull you through this darkness to the light once more.

“So submit yourselves to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”
James 4:7-8

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Our Images of God

Our images of God are vital to our desire to know God more closely. We want to have an image for God so we can relate to God better. Our images of God are formed from many different areas and experiences in our lives. The most elementary experience that formed our first image of God was from our family, many times our parents. Our family in some way or another introduced the idea of God, faith or religion to us at a young age, whether good or bad. My image, like that of many young children, was of God as a king. God had the authority; rewarding the good and punishing the bad.

As we age other experiences such as our culture help to form new images of God. Living in a prosperity based culture lends the image of God to a King who rewards the good with material possessions.  A culture of law lends itself to an image of a judging God with no compassion; only one who holds up the law regardless of our humanity.  As our circumstances in life change from child to adult our image typically shifts once more. We become more independent and sometimes less dependent on God moving  to a distant relationship with a far off God, one we pray to if we need it. Events in society also play a role in our image. During war God is fighting like the warrior for our side. After Vatican II the relationship with God as vertical was changed from a personal God, very individualized to a communal God, living and loving God within a community of believers.

God’s image shifts within our personal lives with aging and circumstances, with shifts in the world and with changes in our Church. In the Bible we find a variety of God’s images. Many of the images in the New Testament reveal God as “Abba” Daddy, Father – Jesus constantly prays to His Father.  I would think then that the Old Testament would reveal God as one filled with fire and brimstone. However, it depends on which scripture you read as to what is revealed. The Old Testament scriptures reveal God from a fierce bear, to a protector as an Eagle, hiding and keeping us safe beneath His giant wings.  Many scripture readings portray God as King in robes and the pomp and circumstance of His majesty. Some show God as a judge others as a rescuer, the creator, a shepherd, a potter and still another as a volcano. As Catholics we have listened to the scriptures over the course of our lives and these images also help to form our image of God.

In our creed we say: We believe in one God, the father, the almighty. In Dawn’s interpretation she says that the father indicates a personal God we can understand and connect with in our own lives. The almighty she believes represents a more transcendent God who we cannot understand. Our Catholic upbringing has developed several images of God depending upon the time of the Church. Before Vatican II God was the punisher, the feared and the one who would set you straight or send you to hell. Since Vatican II and in my years in the church the image of God has swung to the other extreme. Not only do priests rarely talk about sin they NEVER talk about Hell, damnation, punishment or fear. Instead my experience within the Catholic Church has given me the image of a compassionate, merciful, gentle, kind, wise, friendly, all knowing, guiding, Daddy. God is my creator and has given to me Free Will He trusts me to be a steward of His creation but will not force me to do anything. I have spoken with older people who feared God so much before Vatican II that they could not speak to God. They could pray their rosary, confess sins and kneel to God but not speak to God.  I am so blessed to live in a time when I have been taught about the unconditional love of God.  I have been able to pass my image of God down to my children. God to them is always in their hearts. They know they are never a breath away from God. They talk to God as friend and try to listen for His voice. Their image of God is kind and loving, not fierce and frightening.

It is very interesting learning how the images of God are formed in our lives. Our images came from many different aspects of our lives and will continue to change and grow as we learn and grow in our own lives and in our faith lives.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

She may be foul and he may be crude, she may be grumpy and he made be rude but they all deep down are reaching with their complaints and their grumps for someone to hear them and acknowledge their existence.

So we visit, we smile, we sing, we make cards, we pray and we shake their wrinkled hands we love them for a moment and then we walk on. Alone they are left with the memory, the warmth and the fading smile of the youth. For a moment they held a hand, listened to a song and reached the youth and felt the love.

We are all reaching from young until old we are reaching for love…

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

I attended a class called Capturing the Imagination of Adolescents. The presenter has worked with teens for many years. He presented a study to us that was conducted across the United States in 2005 of thousands of teens. The study definitively provided these two results:

1) Teens do what their parents do as far as practicing religion and faith belief is concerned.

2) Teens live by something the presenter referred to as Moralistic Therapeutic Deism – treat others as you want to be treated.

The first finding that teens follow in our footsteps seems like a great thing, right? Well, if we want our children to grow up in our faith and we are practicing our faith then, yes. But if we want our children to grow and develop a deeper faith in God and we do not talk about God, go to Church and provide actions and examples in our own lives then the answer is no. It is true that our children watch everything we do and when it comes to faith they imitate us. This should really make us consider what we want our children to learn. We should also reflect on the lifestyle we are displaying to them daily.

Let me elaborate on the second point. Moralistic Therapeutic Deism almost appears to be the golden rule; treat others as you want to be treated. It seems like a good way to live your life, right? Well, one of the quotes from the teenagers went like this “It’s ok to have sex with people as long as you don’t treat them like a jerk.” If that is the case then where is the morality or value of waiting to have sex until marriage? If it’s all about how you treat others then sex with multiple people is fine. Lying is fine as long as it doesn’t hurt others feelings. Drugs are fair game as long as no one gets hurt. This is a loosely based idea cultivated from our culture. Just be nice to people. Our culture asks for the minimal effort from us when it comes to morality. There is no real challenge there. And it definitely isn’t rooted in a Christian faith.

What are we teaching our children? Maybe the question should be what are we neglecting to teach our children?

As parents if we value our faith and a life of giving to others all that we have, unconditional love, vows for marriage that last a lifetime, sacrifice for the good of others and the values Jesus Christ modeled for us then we need to live these values in our own lives. Our children are going to grow up and we are the ones who have taught them through the most formative years of their lives. What do we want them to learn?

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

The Wheel of Fortune

It is rare in our culture that anyone refers to one of their life dreams or ultimate ambitions to become a saint. However, if we believe in God should we all aspire to this goal? The majority of us would say we are not worthy and are nothing like the saints. We would be wrong. The saints were normal people, sinners like us that thought they were not worthy as well. The difference between where they traveled and where we stand could have been explained quite definitely by Robert Barron’s presentation of Untold Blessing: Three Paths to Holiness.  He gives a powerfully, knowledgeable account of how to travel the path of the saints. The first path is finding the Center.

In our modern day lives we are all over the place. We want wealth, happiness, praise, and pleasure. We are trying to live the American Dream and have it all. We get an education, we climb the ladder of success, we fill our homes with distractions and we think through this journey we will have it all. However, in most instances we realize we still have a void. So we scatter our focus from pleasure to material possessions to seeking praise. We cannot stay focused because we really have no true focus in our lives, not one true mission to live and die for.

We are on what the people from the Medieval ages refer to as the “Wheel of Fortune”, not the game show. It is a wheel depicting the circle of our lives. At the top is the person who reigns – they have acquired wealth and treasures. Next falling down the circle is a person has reigned but has fallen- those who lose their job or wealth and have nowhere to fall but down. At the bottom of the wheel is a person being crushed beneath the wheel – the person is powerless and has hit rock bottom – much like a homeless person or a drug addict that has nowhere left to fall. They have nothing left. Then to the left and climbing up the wheel is the person who has pulled himself from the rubble and begun trying to climb the ladder again – the person looking for a new start climbing to try to reign again. This wheel created and depicted thousands of years ago is the story of our lives now. In the center of the wheel is a depiction of Jesus Christ. Jesus does not ride the outside of the wheel he is in the center of it all. If we choose to find our center where Jesus Christ is then we can find peace no matter where we are on the “wheel of fortune”. We constantly ride this wheel and obsess over our presence on the wheel worried about money, security and success, filled with anxiety and fear. However, if we realize that the wheel is constantly turning and we cannot control its outcome and we instead concentrate on Jesus Christ knowing He will be there regardless of our worldly position then we will find the peace; the void we seek to fill.

It is difficult in our lives to depend on Jesus Christ to fill the void but only He can do it. No monetary possession, no position of power, no wealth or security can give us the peace of Christ. Detachment is the key to putting Christ in the center of our lives. Many different religions believe in this idea. We must detach ourselves from the things of this world to find our calling from God and complete our mission on this earth. If we are distracted or worse obsessed with the “Wheel of Fortune” we will never find our true purpose – the will of God and the peace we have longed for since birth. We must first find our center to start our journey on the path of Holiness.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

We Each Have a Purpose

My purpose in this life is to move people closer to God, one word, one reflection, one speech, one retreat, one step at a time. I know this to be true as I know God is true.

But most people do not believe that God has called them to a purpose in this life. There has been no sign of a burning bush, no booming voice in the night, no whisper in the wind. They believe that they are not the chosen ones. Because there seems to be no proof there must be no calling. “Others may be called by God but not me.”

God created each and every one of us on this earth. With every creation that He breathed life into there is a purpose. Just because you have yet to discover your purpose does not mean it doesn’t exist. Indeed your life is of unbelievable value. God knows you and loves you whether you know Him, acknowledge Him or seek Him out, His love is still unconditional.

So how do we discover this call from God? How are we, normal every day people, to seek out the divine and His purpose for our lives? We are not people who have been in seminaries or through years of studying the Bible. We are just men and women living our lives, working our jobs, paying our bills, raising our children, enjoying our grandchildren and taking advantage of retirement and relaxation. How are we to hear a voice that makes no audible sound?

We have to listen in a different way than we have been taught. My 9 year old son, Spencer, whispered to me in Church “Mom, I don’t know what God sounds like?  I am listening but I don’t think He is talking to me.” I replied, “You know that voice you hear in your head that tells you to do the right thing when you want to do the wrong thing? That is God. God whispers thoughts into your mind. Listen to those thoughts that are strong and good.”

Have you ever had a moment in your life when it seems as though everything added up perfectly and you said “That was a crazy coincidence or can you believe the timing?” We often think things just happen. God guides us to “coincidences” that lead us to our purpose. God gives life to ideas in our minds that we suddenly have a passion to pursue. God will never make us follow a certain path but if we listen, watch and observe we will see that He is pointing us in a particular direction.

If we want to find our purpose then we need to slow down and live our lives more aware. Open the conversation with God about it. Pay attention to the causes and ideas that move our hearts and make us want to take action. Instead of stifling those thoughts let them simmer, talk about them out loud, and explore the options.  We each have a purpose in this life. God is calling us. It is never too late or too early to seek our purpose and please God with our lives.

It is an honor to serve our purpose and add to the world the way God intended when the thought of us became flesh.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Perfection Contradicts Faith

“In terms of faith, I’ve turned less and less a perfectionist. In fact, I’m increasingly convinced that faith and perfection contradict one another.” – Alberto Salazar from his book “A Running Legend’s Life and Death and Life 14 Minutes.  My husband, the marathon runner, just finished reading this book. Apparently Alberto Salazar discovered a deeper faith in God through his journey of running.  Many people tend to find their faith at the end of the most important journeys of their lives. His quote intrigued me.

“In terms of faith, I’ve turned less and less a perfectionist. In fact, I’m increasingly convinced that faith and perfection contradict one another.”

When we try to be perfect and attain perfection in our actions and ourselves we believe that perfection is a possibility. I believe that nothing but God is perfect.  He created each of us for a reason. I believe that the overall reason is to love Him and bring that love to the world around us. I don’t believe that God intended for us to be perfect. When we try to reach perfection we become enslaved with one part of our life working endlessly to make it just right. Anytime we are enslaved by anything then we have walked away from God. How can we say that we trust in God completely if we are obsessed with anything? We must be free from obsession and addictions for God to guide our lives. We must be open to change and not enthralled with any one part of life.

That is not a free pass to stop trying to do your best in life. It means we should not spend all of our time, energy, and thoughts obsessively on one idea. If we are working on perfection then we are not allowing God to be a part of our lives.  It’s like the God Box I wrote about. So many of us are comfortable with putting God in a box and taking Him out when it is convenient to do so. We put God in the box while we work on our lives and then we get Him out when something goes wrong. If we stop putting God in a box and open our hearts to His will instead of our own quest for perfection then we will discover a deeper faith and a richer life than we ever knew was possible.

Try it. Whatever you are obsessing about let it go. It’s ok to not be perfect. Do your best but do not strive for perfection; it is not possible. Instead trust in God, do your best, let Him be a part of your thoughts, energy and actions and you will not need what you believe that feeling of perfection will give you. The love of God is a better reward than perfection.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

The Bible is More than a Book

The Bible is so much more than a book. It is a collection of books with different literary forms from poems and songs to history and laws. It should not be read from cover to cover to get through it. To fully appreciate and understand the Bible one must understand the culture, the context and the audience that the author of that book was speaking to and for what reason. The Bible is not to be read literally but should be interpreted for understanding its varied meanings. One should understand that the Bible is not merely an instruction manual for how to live one’s life. Although there is clear guidance for morality and ethics weaved through out its text. The Bible was written through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit for a deeper reason than instructions for living a good life. God inspired the writing of the Bible so that we, every day people, not scholars, could hear His voice, listen to His message and forge a more intimate relationship with Him. The Bible is not a book that was written almost 2,000 years ago and is now dead. It is the LIVING WORD OF GOD. If one embarks on this journey in pursuit of God, one will discover God’s voice, guidance, comfort and love as they come to life off of the pages and into one’s soul.

Upon more in depth evaluation of the Old Testament themes begin to emerge that are parallel to our lives today; Creation & Fall, Freedom & Slavery, Covenant and Redemption. Although those themes seem larger than our small lives we constantly fall and ask for forgiveness, we enslave ourselves to possessions, addictions and bad habits and pray for freedom, we make promises, break them and redeem ourselves with the help of our faith. Many lessons can be learned from the Old Testament. All of these major themes were fulfilled in Jesus Christ in the New Testament. We have hope, unconditional love, the Holy Spirit, forgiveness and the possibility of salvation because of the paschal mystery. Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, came to set the example of how to live our lives closer to God. He came to bring us in relationship with God, to bear our sins, and forgive our sins so that we may one day know God, the Father, completely in heaven.

Today, consider dusting off your Bible, turning to the table of contents and choosing a book that speaks to you in your life today. Then take the time to read about the author, the culture and the audience. This can be the day that you start to read your Bible in search of a deeper relationship with God.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

The Cattails

The cattails were swaying gently in the slight breeze from the wetland. Some stood tall and strong and others looked bent and weak. They were all trying to feel the warmth of the sun upon their stalks. No matter how straight or bent, they were all exposed to the sight of the sun.

We humans are so much like the cattails; some of us in this life stand straight and tall confident that we want our God to see us and shower us with His unconditional love. Others of us are bent a bit, beaten down or just not as sure but we still want the love of God. We are just not as confident that we will receive that mighty gift from above.

In our lives we have a tendency to become a bit egotistical. We think about life from our own small perspective. It would be difficult not to, considering we live within our lives 24/7. However, thinking from our own limited view point limits God a bit. If we feel ashamed we assume God would be ashamed of us, if we feel unworthy, we think God would no longer accept us, if we feel happy, we think God would be happy with us. What we often times forget is that God is not human. God created human kind in his image but God is beyond all human understanding. If you read the scriptures and learn about Jesus Christ (God made man) He taught us that the Father (God) loves us without condition. Yes, God wants us to repent for our sins and to sin no more. Yes, God wants us to be good people and constantly try our hardest to be good. But no matter what we have done or failed to do God NEVER stops loving us.

There is no one among us undeserving of the love of God. Every cattail no matter how close to the water, bent, broken or cracked with disease that the sun does not shine upon. God is light and His light shines upon all of us regardless of who we are or our actions. God maybe disappointed but He NEVER withholds His Love for each and every single one of us.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Imperfections

In our ongoing project to complete the “piano room” we found our family at Lowes looking for wood to build the bookshelves. Jake and Aaron were looking for imperfections in the wood. They looked for cracks, chips and warped wood that would be difficult to work with on this project. Those with imperfections were put back on the shelf. Those that looked good we put in our cart.

We are constantly looking at the imperfections in ourselves. We need to lose weight, we need to eat healthier and get more sleep. We need to be nicer and do more volunteer work. We need to….you fill in the blank. Self evaluation is a very important part of maturing as an adult. However, there is a fine line between self evaluation and self degrading. It is healthy to be objective and face those things we need to change and then do the work to change them. It is not healthy to pick at our imperfections and instead of making changes reject who we are as a person.

At this time of the year when we evaluate where we are and who we are at this point in our lives we need to still love who we are even with our imperfections. None of us are perfect and we never will be perfect.  God is the only one who will ever be perfect and He is the one who made us. We will fail and we will make mistakes and stupid choices. But as humans we have the ability to try to be better, to get up from the failure, dust the dirt off and go in a different direction. We will always have imperfections that we should seriously work on but we should still love who we are as a child of God.

Today, think of one of your imperfections and a realistic way of making it better. Commit to that change and work on it. Now think of one of your attributes that make you happy. Encourage yourself by realizing even though we are not perfect and have lots of work to do in one area that in other areas we are good and already do some other things very well in our lives.

Copyright 2013 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

On Public Speaking and Faith

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to speak in front of 150 people for 30 minutes about your faith?

Well, let me tell you it has been a journey to get to this point. Sparing you the details of my childhood I will just say I never had a problem being in front of a crowd. However, I was fearful of public speaking even in college. Golden Key National Honor Society awarded me the opportunity to speak in front of more than 100 students about a program I redesigned to teach children how to say no to drugs. But the truth of the matter is God nudged me in my adult life towards this path. I went kicking and screaming at first. A few people asked me to speak about a service program I coordinate at my children’s school and I was awful.  Then I became very involved in our parish retreats and gave 6 different talks as well as leading an entire weekend retreat. The more God nudged the more I stepped closer to that microphone you see in this picture. After one of the retreats I said to my husband “This is what I want to do.” He questioned “You want to lead retreats?” “I want to talk about my faith to others. I want to be a motivational speaker for God!” was my response.

I prayed about it, started my blog and found people along the way who chose to mentor me. Eventually I discovered an opportunity to speak for the first time and let people know it’s what I am called to do. Since that day I have created, developed and led retreats, given talks during the retreats and given motivational talks separate from the retreats. It takes much more time and planning than people realize. I don’t like to do anything half way. So when someone hires me to give a talk it is a process. First I pray about the subject and chat with God about how to write the talk. I write the talk. Then I start practicing the talk. I practice a talk at least 25 times before I give it to an audience. I don’t use note cards, I memorize it. My talks are 20-30 minutes long. Yep, it’s just me and God up there!

As the person introduces me to the audience I am taking deep breaths and praying to God “God, let this be for your glory and not my own. Let the words come to me that we decided on together. Please let the Holy Spirit open their ears to what you want them to hear. Oh, yeah and God, let’s have fun doing this.”

Then I walk up take one more deep breath and I just start talking. I love it when I have people who are engaged in the stories I tell. I find people who I know will laugh and people I can look to who will be more serious as well. When I am extremely comfortable I throw in things I am thinking. Honestly I am more of a story teller than a preacher. I want to tell stories that my audience can relate to and find meaning within. I want to motivate them to move closer to God in little ways. I speak from my heart and it is real. It is exhilarating, exciting, and just plain fun. After a talk it takes hours for me to calm down completely.

God uses each of us in different ways in our lives. Sometimes He nudges us in ways we are not comfortable being pushed. Staying open to different opportunities in our lives is staying open to God changing us and guiding us to grow in His love. All of us are not called to be writers or speakers but all of us are called by God to bring others closer to Him somehow in this life. How is God calling you?

Copyright 2012 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

A Gift for Jesus

It is simple and sweet with a stick person in the church. My littlest guy, Jake created this special gift for Jesus in school. We spend so much energy deciding who we will buy for, how much we will spend and what we will buy for each person at Christmas Time. We exchange gifts with others but who gives a gift to Jesus on Christmas Day? It is His birthday and we just exchange with one another and exclude the birthday boy.

I remember when I was in the 5^th grade I went to reconciliation during advent. The priest asked what I would like to do for my penance for Jesus Christ. He was very young, creative and accepting. I told him I wanted to give a gift to baby Jesus. He said “Then your penance is to make a gift for baby Jesus.” I went home that day and begged my mom to buy me a poster board. We went to the store and bought a big green poster board. Then I went to work in my room with my door shut and locked. I worked and worked on my gift.

On Christmas Eve I revealed it to my family. I had made a Christmas card for baby Jesus. I drew a picture of the stable and baby Jesus in the manager. I wrote a prayer to Jesus of thanksgiving and talked of who He would become. We left it by the Christmas tree that night. That year our family hosted our extended family Christmas party and everyone who came over saw the giant card to Jesus. I wanted everyone to remember it was about Jesus not Santa.

Now that I am older what will my gift to Jesus Christ be this year? Will it be a card, an idea, a promise or a prayer? What can you give to Jesus Christ this year? Advent is a time for waiting and preparing our hearts to grow closer to God. If we open our hearts to Jesus Christ we will be giving Him the gift of our love and our lives. What better gift can we offer to the Christ child?

Copyright 2012 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

We must trust in all times

We must trust in all times the good, the bad and the unknown. It is easy to trust in our faith and our God when the skies are striking and beautiful and all is right with the world and we know our place in it. It is difficult to trust when the grass has grown up around the good we thought we cultivated in our lives and it seems to be trying to choke out that goodness. It is a challenge to trust and hold on to that faith when it has been shaken and the ground below no longer feels steady like it once did.

God never promised us that this life would be easy. God only promised that if we seek Him out, form a relationship with Him, ask for our sins to be forgiven and love Him that through His son Jesus Christ we may have eternal life, if He so grants it. Eternal life is the most important part of existence. However, the here and now must also be lived. It is the here and now that seems so perplexing at times. The trust and faith in God are what will get us through the here and now to the then and there.

The foundation of our faith is formed from the love of God and relationship we have with Him. Do not let a day go by without talking to God and letting Him know you are His. The deeper this relationship becomes the more integrated our lives and existence is with God. When our faith becomes intertwined with our lives then nothing can separate us from the love of God.

It is in the times of uncertainty we must cling even tighter to our faith. When nothing else is there we will discover that God has never moved.  Trust, have faith, pray and know that God will get you through all times to bring you one day into His eternal grace of heaven.

Copyright 2012 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp