In Joy & Gratitude

I’m sipping a cup of Earl Grey tea (heavy on the sweetener and lemon) and reminiscing about the past eleven days. It’s been a crazy mesh of ups and downs – mostly ups, thanks be to God.

First, I’ve moved through one of my favorite times of year as Wisconsin begins to timidly shift from Winter to Spring. I emphasize the timid, since Spring is especially late here this year; the grass is struggling to become plush and green and there still are no leaves on the trees.

The calendar dates are shifting, too, as April rolls into May, the month of our Blessed Mother. I love that the Church dedicates an entire month to her, and I’m reminded of that as the date pops up on my computer each morning when I begin my work. It prompts me to stop for a minute to make an act of love and utter a prayer to our Lady.

Then, of course, there was my trip to EWTN in Irondale, Alabama for the taping of Donna Marie Cooper O’Boyle’s new show, “Catholic Mom’s Café.” I and four other women – Lisa Hendey, Woodeene Koenig-Bricker, Lisa Mladnich, and Karen Edmisten – each appeared as a guest on one of the five pilot segments. Now we wait in delight and anticipation for the air dates to be announced. Oh, yes. And while I was at EWTN for Donna Marie’s show, I was able appear live on EWTN Radio’s “At Home with Jim & Joy Pinto.” It was an amazing trip, chocked full of gifts and graces!

During this time, the entire Fenelon Clan moved from  our middle son’s wedding being some obscure date in the future to being less than a month, and now, as I write, a mere three weeks away. That also means, of course, that in just three weeks, I will officially and for the first time become a mother-in-law. Somewhere in these coming weeks, I’ll have to find something to wear to the wedding, train myself to answer to “Mother of the Groom,” so I don’t ignore folks seeking me at the celebration and gear up for my new role.

Interwoven between all of these happenings was my Imitating Mary Blog Tour. For those who aren’t familiar, a blog tour is like a virtual train trip, with a stop at a different blog each day that includes a review, interview, or commentary and often a book giveaway. Blog tours can last anywhere from 5 to 10 or more days; mine lasted for eleven. From April 22 through May 2, Imitating Mary: Ten Marian Virtues for the Modern Mom was featured on the blogs of colleagues whose work I have admired for years. Talk about a humbling experience! Their kindness in participating in the tour and their acclaim for my book simply wowed me, and I am so very grateful.  Every time I write a book, I go through a gauntlet of thoughts and emotions, dodging between enthusiasm, conviction, doubt, frustration, hopefulness, fret, pride, anxiety, and anticipation. Launching a book can be nerve-wracking and delightful all at the same time. The generous souls who hosted my blog tour helped to make this launch far more delightful than nerve-wracking.

That being said, I’d like to thank them publicly by posting their names and the links to their blog tour stops. Please visit their blogs, for their Imitating Mary content, but then frequently thereafter in support of their fine work.

• Monday, April 22  - Lisa Hendey
• Tuesday, April 23  - Kathy Schiffer
• Wednesday, April 24 - Anne Bender
• Thursday, April 25 - Mary deTurris Poust
• Friday, April 26 - Roxane Salonen
• Saturday, April 27 - Sarah Reinhard
• Sunday, April 28 - Karen Edmisten
• Monday, April 29 - Karen Mahoney
• Tuesday, April 30 - Donna Marie Cooper O’Boyle
• Wednesday, May 1 - Patti Armstrong
• Thursday, May 2 – Maria Ruiz Scaperlanda

I usually sign my letters, emails, and book inscriptions with “In joy & gratitude, Marge”. Why? I want always to be joyful for God’s mercy, love, and care for my family and me. No matter how bad things may seem to be, there is always something for which we can be joyful!! In the same light, there is always something for which we can and should be thankful, even if it’s the smallest, seemingly insignificant detail. That, in fact, is how I try to spend my entire life – in joy and gratitude. So, I think that’s the perfect way to end this post because these truly have been days over which to be joyful and give thanks.

In joy & gratitude,

Marge

Order Imitating Mary: Ten Marian Virtues for the Modern Mom and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase

Copyright 2013 Marge Fenelon

Mark and I had gone together to order glasses, and I was determined to keep them a surprise from the kids until I actually had them. I resisted their every attempt to weasel it out of me, so they did what any smarts kid would do when they want something that Mom won’t give them; they go to Dad.

“Mom’s glasses?”  he murmured nonchalantly. “Well, they’re brown on the front with leopard pattern on the sides.”

Ha!  I thought to myself. Mark’s no idiot. He’s playing along with me and leading them on. What a clever husband I have! Good boy!

Smiling (okay, snickering) through the following days, I let the kids guess all they wanted about my “leopard” glasses. They knew I had a pronounced aversion to leopard anything. I have no problem with anyone else wearing or owning something – or even as many things as they want – with a leopard pattern, I just refuse to do so myself. I think leopard pattern on or anywhere near my being is absolutely hideous. It got to be a running joke between my daughter and I. If one of us encountered an item with leopard on it while we were shopping together, we’d draw it to the attention of the other, after which we’d carry on about its exquisiteness and value. So, the very prospect of my having leopard patterned eye glasses was totally ridiculous.

Finally, it came: THE phone call from the vision center telling me that my glasses were in. I (almost) literally dropped what I was doing, grabbed our youngest son, John, and we headed out the door. I could not wait another minute to get my new glasses. I was almost giddy as we entered the establishment, certain that those glasses were going to change my life. They did, but not in the way I’d imagined they would.

The attendant asked for my name, offered me a seat at the table with the mirror, and then went to the back to get my glasses. She came out with them in a fancy little tray (Fitting for my precious, fabulous eyewear, I told myself.), sat across from me, cleaned them off, and told me to lean forward as she slipped them on.

“There, now. Take a look,” she said confidently as she motioned to the mirror.

I took a look. Then, I nearly fainted. The sides of the frame were…leopard pattern!

Impossible! I thought. Was Mark playing some outrageous practical joke on me? Did he pay the attendant to bring out a bogus pair of glasses?

The night I’d picked out frames, the store only had them in black – which did not look one iota like leopard on the sides, mind you – and I based my decision mostly on the way they fit, functioned, and yes, because they were one of their newest, trendiest styles and the shape and size worked well with my facial features. They also came in brown, the attendant had assured me, which would look far better on me than the black. Nobody ever said the word “leopard” that night, and it definitely wasn’t on my radar screen. I’m too savvy for that. I can spot leopard a mile away.

Yep, I can spot leopard anytime, except when it’s right on my face.

I took the glasses off, examined them carefully, put them back on, gazed into the mirror and…burst out laughing. “They’re leopard!” I exclaimed. In black, the leopard pattern wasn’t obvious. In brown, it was unmistakable.

“Uh, yes, they are,” the attendant offered quizzically.

“I thought my husband was just playing a joke on the kids,” I chuckled.

The attendant looked worried. “They’re what you ordered. Are they okay?”

Still chuckling, I told her, “Yeah, they’re great. I love them, really.”

She seemed relieved, but still cautious, as she made some minor adjustments and refitted them. I thanked her – sincerely – and John and I left, me still chuckling.

I’d sworn I’d never be caught dead in leopard anything and now I’m quite alive and well as I proudly wear my leopard-frame glasses. The more I wear them, the more I love them, for two reasons. First, because they are hands down the best glasses – function-wise and fashion-wise – that I’ve ever owned. Second, because they are a reminder to me that sometimes I don’t know myself as well as I think I do. My leopard-frame glasses are teaching me humility. God in his wisdom and mercy is using them to show me that I need to be more open-minded, not just about leopard patterns, but also about everything in my life, especially in regard to my attitudes, faulty conclusions, labels, and prejudices against other people. If I don’t know myself as well as I think I do, then how can I expect that I know anybody else as well as I think I do? How often do I pass judgment on a situation or person because I think I’ve taken everything in with a single glance? Sometimes, I think I don’t even need to glance because I already “know” all about it. If something’s in black, I assume it’ll look the same in brown, as well.

My eyewear experience has taught me that I need to take another, more comprehensive, look at myself and at the world around me – this time, through the lenses of leopard-frame eye glasses.

Copyright 2013 Marge Fenelon

Astounding news has been announced from Rome this morning. Our dear Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI has announced his resignation as Bishop of Rome, Successor of Peter, as of February 28, 2013. Pope Benedict XVI is citing his advanced age and resulting physical frailty as the reason for his decision. I’ve included the link, below, to the National Catholic Register article about the announcement, which includes the full text of his statement.

For myself, I have mixed emotions. Since I use a vast amount of papal writings in my work, I often browse the various addresses that our Holy Fathers give to their audiences. Often, there’s a beautiful nugget of truth buried in what might seem to be merely a few kind words to a particular group or organization.

Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed how Pope Benedict XVI’s addresses have become shorter and shorter and also seem to have decreased in number as well as length. Certainly, I’m not a papal expert, but I did have to wonder – Is he struggling to keep up? And so, I’d pray harder for him, and watch, and wait…

Upon hearing the announcement, my first reaction was that there must have been pressure on him to resign from others in the Church. For Pete’s sake, I wondered to myself, Who would ever want to give up on the Papacy? That was a naive, knee-jerk reaction, I know.

After reading the Holy Father’s statement, I am in awe at his profound humility. The fact that he can see in himself, for himself, that he no longer can physically give to the office what it requires, and that he can so humbly admit that to the entire world, touches me deeply. How many of us would go to our bosses and say, “Boss, I’m getting more frail and am not able to carry on my duties as well as they should be. Someone in better physical condition could do better, and I want what’s best for the company, so, here’s my resignation.” Could you do that? I’m not so sure I could.

The Holy Father’s statement touches me for another reason. It is perfectly clear to me that Pope Benedict XVI is not stepping down because he can’t handle the Church, but rather the Church can’t handle him. What I mean is, the Pope’s statement makes it obvious that he cares more about the Church, and what’s best for her, than he does for himself. He doesn’t whimper about it all being too much for him; he states consciously and bravely that he wants to step back so that someone of greater physical stamina can give Holy Mother Church what she needs and deserves. He’s being more realistic and rational about his own shortcomings than I think most of us could be. Or, at least more than I could be.

February 28 is coming up fast, and as it approaches, I’ll be praying and sacrificing for our Holy Father, as he takes the necessary steps for letting go and looking forward. I’ll be praying and sacrificing for those now imbued with the arduous task of filling his shoes – the shoes of St. Peter. They’ll need the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit! I’ll be praying and sacrificing for the Church, too, as we say goodbye to a loving, intelligent, and insightful Pope who has led us through the turmoil and persecutions of the past eight years. Pope Benedict XVI has passed on to all of us a laudable example and vast storehouse of wisdom, and for that we must be grateful and ever-mindful.

The Church again is facing a moment of uncertainty and change. That takes confidence in God’s power and wisdom. It is his Church, and he will lead us onward if we place our tiny little child-hands into his strong, powerful, and kind Father-hands. Here’s the prayer I’ll be saying from today until our new Holy Father is installed and situated in the chair of St. Peter. It’s from a prayer formed by Fr. Joseph Kentenich, founder of the Apostolic Movement of Schoenstatt, and I invite you to say it along with me each day – or at any time of your life that you need to remind yourself that God does indeed have a perfect Master Plan for each of us, all of us.

You know the way for me,

You know the time.

Into your hands, I trustingly place mine.

Your plan is perfect, born of perfect love.

Your know the way for me, that is enough. Amen.

And, here’s the link to the NCR story about the Pope’s resignation: http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/pope-benedict-xvi-to-step-down-feb.-28/

Copyright 2013 Marge Fenelon

Likes, Follows, and Friends

Folks have heard me….umm…observe… that it’s sometimes a challenge to keep up the stream of interesting and uplifting social networking posts in spite of the challenges of family life and all the wonderful and sometimes not-so wonderful daily surprises that entails. Yet, I keep going on my social networks. Why? Because it’s part of my “image” as an author, columnist, and speaker. If I disappear from the social networking sites, I disappear from people’s minds, and consequently, book sales and visits to mine and the other sites for which I write drop. Others in my profession know this, too.

Perhaps it seems like I’m complaining, but I’m not. Okay, well, maybe a little. Actually, I’ve come to realize it’s just part of the package. That’s the way our world works now. You can tell I’ve been around for a while, eh? In fact, my very first article ever was written on a typewriter. Yep. For real. Typewriters are not a myth, as the younger generation might believe. They existed, and I used one. Anyway, in “the good old days” a writer gained popularity by writing for the print media as often as possible and finding ways to be a guest on radio shows whenever he/she could think of something worthy to talk about.

Those two tools are still vital to our trade, although “print” media now usually means “online publications,” and they’ve taken second fiddle to internet means for making ourselves known, social networks in particular. Now we talk about “reaching out” and developing “relationships” with our “followers.” Completely new lingo and an entirely new way of thinking for an old-fashioned journalist like me. In the past, the only time I thought about “followers” was when my family and me were in a crowded public place and I made my kids hold each other’s hands, with the youngest instructed to hang onto my sleeve or coat hem. In that case, they darn well better be “followers,” or else.

Now I sit at my work station each day and try to figure out ingenious and inspiring ways to get people to “follow” me whom I’ve never even met and probably never will, save for brief exchanges over cyber-space. And relationships? Well, just watch my face light up when I’m “Liked” by dozens, sometimes hundreds, of my “followers” for something I’ve written or commented upon. Sometimes, I even end up competing with myself (or others) in an effort to top my highest number of “Likes.” But…what does that really mean…”Like”…? Do they truly appreciate what I’ve said, or were they just caught in an agreeable moment, or was my article or input simply the least-stupid one out there at the moment? Does “Like” mean it’s worthy enough not to block or delete? Being “Liked,” “Shared,” or “Tweeted” definitely does give me important feedback, but I do have to bring myself to re-think what I do and why so I don’t get caught up in the whirlwind of cyber-popularity.

On the other hand, I have seen social media evoke amazing kindness and concern among users. If you want to see how that works, just watch what happens when someone puts up a prayer request on Facebook or Twitter. Offers of prayer and encouragement pile in in droves. I myself or my loved ones have been recipients of those prayers countless times. That’s a wonderful, beautiful, thing. It even can be a holy thing.

Through social media, I’ve also had the gift of re-connecting with old friends and keeping up with current ones. That’s exceptionally nice, since my way-too hectic lifestyle leaves me little time for phone calling, meeting, and socializing in person. Without that option, I’d probably loose track of those folks, at least for a good long while and maybe even forever. I’ve also had the chance to “meet” new people, to learn about them, and to a point experience life through their eyes. In fact, some of the folks who’ve turned out to be my truest colleagues, cheerleaders and prayer companions are ones I’ve met online. That’s a blessing.

If I had to weigh it out, I think I’d be cornered into admitting that the old typewriter days had their advantages, but the new online and social network days have opened up a whole array of options, experiences, and opportunities for me that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. I just need to keep things in perspective, take care with the image I project, and remind myself daily of who I really am – a beloved child of God (just as every other human being), with her accomplishments, wit, and abilities, but also with her quirks, mistakes, and shortcomings.

So, go ahead. “Like” my stuff. “Friend” me on Facebook, or “Follow” me on Twitter. Just don’t forget to also remind me that “Likes” and “Follows” are just a tiny slice in the pie of life so that I never stop working harder and harder at being a better writer, networker, and, most of all, friend in the real sense of the word.

Copyright 2013 Marge Fenelon

Learning How to be a Mother-in-Law

Frankly, I was completely in shock. Not that we didn’t expect it – we’ve been expecting it for some time. And, it wasn’t that we weren’t happy about it, either, because we were and still are. No, I was in shock because this would make me the…you know…the… mother-in-law. I’ve heard about those creatures, the brunt of an endless array of biting jokes and sarcastic one-liners. I’ve heard the crass stories of busy-body interference and snooty judgmentalism. I’ve heard about the divisive manipulation, too. Yes, I’ve heard about those fearsome biddies, and now I’m about to become one of them.

Our middle son recently announced his engagement to a lovely young woman who he’s been dating for almost four years. A couple of nights before he officially proposed, he came into the home office while I was working, and I could tell he had something on his mind.

“Mom, promise you won’t freak out,” he said. Oh, sure. Merely saying that is enough to send me spiraling as visions of totaled cars, million-dollar speeding tickets, and school expulsions dance through my head.

“Okay, I promise,” I replied (I lied).

He eyed me suspiciously. “Promise?” he asked again.

“Yes, I promise!” I said, fingers crossed beneath the keyboard shelf.

He set a small, square, felt-covered box on the workstation in front of me – you know, the kind that jewelers use for… I tried to keep breathing.

“Open it,” he prompted.

I couldn’t move. He opened it for me. I can’t even remember what I said, or whether I even said anything at all. If I did speak, it probably was something outrageously fitting and profound, like “Um?”

Luke was planning to ask Audrey to marry him, and he’d come to ask his dad’s and my blessing first. I know we gave it with great joy, but I can’t relate that part of the conversation to you. It’s not too private or anything of the sort. It’s because the second I saw that little blue box, the word “mother-in-law” started hauntingly flashing in the air all around me in different sizes, fonts, and colors. Ugly, terrifying voices were taunting me, “Mother-in-law! Mother-in-law! Mother-in-law!” just like when the protagonist in an old Alfred Hitchcock movie goes mad because she’s under the spell of some wicked criminal. I would have clapped my hands over my ears and run screaming out the door, but I wasn’t wearing a poodle skirt, pearls, and heels, so I stayed put. Besides, I’d look totally ridiculous in a bouffant.

Two days later, the announcement went viral (okay, it merely went public, but it felt viral to me), and I then became, irrevocably, universally, a mother-in-law-to-be. At the end of May, I will become a full-fledged mother-in-law.

Since the initial shock, I’ve taken lots of time to think and pray about becoming a mother-in-law. In spite of all the mean jokes and biting tales I’ve heard, I intend to grab onto that title with gusto, because I want to learn how to be a good – no, a great – mother-in-law. In that regard, class began the minute our son and his fiancé announced their engagement. You see, mothers-in-law-to-be turn into mothers-in-law, and for that reason the engagement period becomes as vital a part of marriage preparation for the mothers as it does for the couples. How we handle the pre-wedding affairs will impact how we handle the post-wedding ones.

So, I’m taking care in my approach to the wedding plans. I want Luke and Audrey to look to each other for plans and decisions, and not to my husband and I. Most certainly, we’ll be there for anything they need from us, but it is and remains that they are in charge, and not us. That’s as it should be once they’re married, and so it begins now. Engagement and wedding planning is an essential time – a dress rehearsal, so to speak, for married life. During those months, the young couple has to learn how to make decisions, consider consequences, face difficulties, navigate tough situations, set and manage budgets, and accept responsibility. I won’t argue that engaged couples need help and support, but I will argue that parents need to stand down and wait to be asked. Sure, we can offer this or that idea or assistance, but we’d better do so without any expectation or strings attached. Parents who don’t do this deprive engaged couples of one of the most important learning experiences of their lives. In fact, it could cripple their future together.

Well, here we go, then. I’m on my way to becoming one of them, and as the days go by, I’m finding myself fearing the title less and less. Perhaps to the horror of some, I’m actually finding it…yes, I admit…endearing. I know I’m not a perfect mother-in-law-to-be, and I guarantee I won’t be a perfect mother-in-law. But I can guarantee that I’ll work hard at it, pray fervently about it, and beg ceaselessly for God’s grace to excel at it.

Go ahead, tell all the jokes, stories, and one-liners you want; they won’t bother me a bit. I’m looking forward to becoming one of them – a full-fledged mother-in-law!

image credit

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

Year of Faith

With his Apostolic Letter of October 11, 2-11, Porta Fidei,  Pope Benedict XVI declared that a Year of Faith would begin on October 11, 2012, and conclude on November 24, 2013. The first day of the Year of Faith marks the fiftieth anniversary of the opening of the Second Vatican Council and the twentieth anniversary of the publication of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Both of those events are milestones for the world’s Catholics, and so it’s beautiful that our Holy Father chose to commemorate them with an entire year devoted to giving us opportunity to increase our knowledge of, and deepen, our Catholic faith.

Basically, with this declaration, the pope is calling us to greater conversion, “The Year of Faith, from this perspective, is a summons to an authentic and renewed conversion to the Lord, the one Saviour of the world,” he wrote. What a noble and exciting invitation! But, our lives are busy and our minds are overloaded with the hub-bub of our daily responsibilities and obligations. How then, are we to answer this call to conversion? Simply put, day by day and step by step. We can’t do it all at once, and if we try to take it on all in one lump, likely we’ll give up after a couple of days, overwhelmed by having tried to do too much, too fast. Better to chose one or two concrete things that can be done in small increments each day throughout the year, don’t you think?

In that light, below I’ve outlined ten ways to celebrate the Year of Faith, a game plan of sorts for systematically moving toward conversion. Keep in mind, though, that merely “doing” is not the same as “becoming.” None of my suggestions will work without prayer and God’s grace.

1. Read the Scriptures. Some years back, my husband and I decided that we wanted to read the entire Bible, together, as part of our morning prayer. So, we did, and it was an amazing experience, opening our eyes to parts of Scripture we’d previously overlooked and drawing us closer as a couple. It was time well spent! Whether you divide it up on your own, or use Our Sunday Visitor’s The Catholic One Year Bible, you can get through the entire Bible in just 15-20 minutes daily over the course of a year.

2. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church. The Catechism is well done, and not as complicated as you might think. The language is clear, concise, and understandable for the average person. Believe me, I know! There are 409 days in the Year of Faith and 2865 paragraphs in the Catechism, from only a couple to several lines long. Divided into a daily meditation, that comes to only about seven paragraphs a day – easily doable over a cup of morning java.

3. Recite the Credo. ”We will have the opportunity to profess our faith in the Risen Lord in our cathedrals and in the churches of the whole world; in our homes and among our families, so that everyone may feel a strong need to know better and to transmit to future generations the faith of all times. Religious communities as well as parish communities, and all ecclesial bodies old and new, are to find a way, during this Year, to make a public profession of the Credo,” Pope Benedict XVI wrote in his declaration. So, why wait until we’re at Mass to profess our faith? Why not do it every day, with fervor and petition for an increase in faith?

4. Read the Vatican Council II documents. I know what you’re thinking: I’m not a theologian. Perhaps not, but you will benefit from working your way through these pages of wisdom and insight. I can give witness that these are rich, rich texts are not beyond the grasp of a non-theologians comprehension. There are about 1000 pages in the average English translation. That’s only about 2.5 pages per day over the 409 days of the Year of Faith. You can find the documents online on the Vatican website.

5. Recite the ”Act of Faith.” This one will take will take under a minute, guaranteed. It’s so easy, in fact, that you may want to do it more than once a day. The more we say it, the more we’ll internalize it:

O my God, I firmly believe that you are one God in three divine persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe that your divine Son became man and died for our sins, and that he will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe these and all the truths which the holy catholic Church teaches, because in revealing them you can neither deceive nor be deceived.  Amen.

6. Read the writings of the Church Fathers. The Church Fathers are those whose writings became known for their helpfulness in understanding the faith, and they fall into three categories: The Apostolic Church Fathers were contemporaries of the Apostles   and probably were taught by them. Clement and Polycarp are examples. The Ante-Nicene Church Fathers are those who came after the Apostolic Church Fathers, but before the Council of Nicea in 325 A.D. Examples are Irenaeus and Justin Martyr. The Post-Nicene Fathers are those who came after the Nicean council. Augustine, John Chrysostom, Jerome, and Eusebius are examples. With such a vast array of fathers and writings, it would be impossible to cover them all over the course of a year. However, New Advent has a fantastic catalog of their works, including the works themselves, online. Think of how much you could learn from the Church Fathers over your coffee break each day!

7. Invoke Mary’s intercession and assistance. Our Mother Mary is the prime example for all the faithful. She was the first Christian, the first to believe in our Lord, and her faithfulness is unparalleled among any other believers. Pope Benedict XVI tells us, “Let us entrust this time of grace to the Mother of God, proclaimed ‘blessed because she believed’ (Lk 1:45).” In literally one second, we can ask Mary to help increase our faith: “Mary, please help my faith to increase.”

8. Live in the spirit of poverty, chastity, and obedience. If you’re reading the Scriptures and/or the Catechism, you’ll encounter plenty of advice about the evangelical councils and how to live them in daily life. “By faith, men and women have consecrated their lives to Christ, leaving all things behind so as to live obedience, poverty and chastity with Gospel simplicity, concrete signs of waiting for the Lord who comes without delay. By faith, countless Christians have promoted action for justice so as to put into practice the word of the Lord, who came to proclaim deliverance from oppression and a year of favour for all,” our Holy Father wrote. One small, practical act of each every day will do no end of good in increasing our faith and the faith of those around us.

9. During the Year of Faith, the pope asks us to become witnesses of charity. “Faith without charity bears no fruit, while charity without faith would be a sentiment constantly at the mercy of doubt. Faith and charity each require the other, in such a way that each allows the other to set out along its respective path,” he wrote. One act of charity each day can have far-reaching implications for ourselves and others.

10. Pray for enlightenment and open heartedness. Our faith will increase only by the grace of God,  and that requires persistent prayer. Why not resolve to receive the sacraments more often over the coming year? Or, make time to spend before our Lord in Eucharistic Adoration? Perhaps we can pray, not only for our own conversion, but also for the conversion of our loved ones. Pope Benedict XVI wrote, “What the world is in particular need of today is the credible witness of people enlightened in mind and heart by the word of the Lord, and capable of opening the hearts and minds of many to the desire for God and for true life, life without end.”

No matter what we choose to do – whether it’s one, two, or more of the suggestions above or something we’ve come up with on our own -it’s necessary that we do something rather than letting the opportunity to celebrate this grace-filled year slip past us. Four hundred-nine days sounds like a lot, but it will go by quickly, as all years do. And as in keeping with human nature, if we don’t choose a course of action, we’ll end up having taken none. We want to find ourselves filled with increased faith, not regret, on the 410th day.

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

5 Ways to Stop Your Six Year Old from Becoming a Sex Object

A new study just out from Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois, shows that girls as young as six are being conditioned by secular media to view themselves as sex objects. Yes, you read that right sex objects. At a time when they should be learning to read and exploring their artistic creativity, they are instead taking in images and propaganda that makes them believe they must be “sexy” in order to be popular, according to the study, published last month in the journal, Sex Roles.

Psychologists tested 60 girls age six to nine by showing them two paper dolls – one dressed in tight, revealing clothing, and the other dressed in a loose-fitting, trendy outfit. Researchers used a different set of dolls for each question, asking the girls to choose the doll that 1) looked like herself; 2) looked how she wanted to look; 3) was the “popular” girl at school; and 4) she wanted to play with.

Consistently, the girls chose the provocatively dressed doll over the modestly dressed one.

Researchers also found that media isn’t the only factor in the self-sexualization of young girls: it also depends on their mothers. “…girls who watched a lot of TV and movies and who had mothers who reported self-objectifying tendencies, such as worrying about their clothes and appearance many times a day … were more likely to say the sexy doll was popular,” said a LiveScience.com report about the study.

LiveScience.com also reported that girls whose mothers used TV and movies as teaching moments about bad behaviors and unrealistic scenarios were much less likely to say they looked like the sexy doll.  This implies that maternal instruction during media viewing may decrease the odds of self-sexualization among young girls.

The study also revealed some quirky, and eyebrow-raising results. For example, girls who watch a lot of TV or movies and have religious mothers fair better, tending less to see themselves as sex objects. The study suggests that this may be because religious mothers usually model higher body-esteem and modesty for their daughters, therefore reducing media impact on them.

On the other hand, the study found that girls who watched very little sexualized media and have religious mothers were actually much more likely to choose the sexy doll over the modest one. Researchers offered two possible explanations for this: Either limiting or denying access to sexualized media created a forbidden fruit reactance, or the girls had previously demonstrated self-sexualization tendencies and the parents limited media exposure as a result. Regardless, the study maintains that “low media consumption is not a silver bullet.”

I agree, with some qualifications. I’m firmly against what I call “head-in-the-sand” parenting. By this I mean parents who segregate and shelter their kids from every possible detrimental influence, actual or perceived. Absolutely, we must protect our children from evil, but we also must teach them how to recognize and combat it in the real world. I don’t advocate “throwing them into the fire,” so to speak, but I do advocate allowing them to be in morally safe situations in which they mix with others who may think and believe differently from themselves.

By “head-in-the-sand” parenting, I also mean parents who assume that their kids are automatically protected because they attend private school or homeschool. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a fellow homeschooling parent say, “Well, that will never happen to my kids because we homeschool.” Think again. Many of the parents who’ve boldly made that comment in the past are now witnessing their children dressing provocatively, leaving the Church, co-habitating, addicted to drugs and/or alcohol or even worse. I’m not judging those parents – in fact, my heart aches for them – but I am critical of their ideology. There is no method of educating or parenting that can be put on auto-pilot.

The moral is: We must do our best in all regards to raise our children right, but we can’t be duped into believing that our best is an unconditional guarantee.

So, when we’re talking about the tragic self-sexualization of our little girls, let me offer my advice:

1. BE SAVVY. Realize your kids will be influenced no matter how hard you try to protect them. Also realize that over-protecting could backfire on you.
2. BE AN EXAMPLE for your children. Dads, conscientiously demonstrate respect for women at all times and in all ways. Moms, demonstrate respect for other women and yourself in the way you act and dress. Both moms and dads must demonstrate exceptional and wholesome choices in media consumption (that includes books and the Internet!).
3. TALK to your kids in realistic terms about the influences that are out there waiting to nab their hearts away from Christ. Explain why they are dangerous and suggest ways in which they can avoid them. Discuss openly what immodest dress and behavior does to destroy the holiness of our human sexuality.
4. LISTEN to your kids. Ask them their thoughts and impressions about what’s in the media and what they’re observing in the world around them. Be prepared to hear some things you may not want to hear, and take it in patiently and non-judgmentally.
5. VALUE your kids – and lead them to value themselves. When our daughters – and sons – truly believe that they are highly valued and loved by God (and by us), they will stop seeking promiscuous ways to garner the love they crave. “You’re way better than that!” spoken with loving sincerity has a far greater influence than, “There’s no way you’re leaving this house dressed like that!”

Mothers and fathers play a vital role in the way their daughters view themselves sexually, and in the way their sons view women. When we take that responsibility seriously and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, our little girls will stop choosing the “sexy” paper dolls and choose the modest ones instead.

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

Sikh Temple, Oak Creek, Wisconsin

Editor’s note: Please join me in praying today for all of those lost in this horrific shooting, and for the families and loved ones of the victims. LMH

Sunday, August 5th was the date of our first annual parish picnic; little did we know that it would be a date marked on calendars for another reason. As we gathered to begin the 11:00 a.m. Liturgy, an ambulance raced down the street past the park. I’m sure most of the parishioners offered a Hail Mary or the Sign of the Cross – an old Catholic tradition – for the person(s) in need of help. We later would find out that the persons in need of help were members of another faith community terrorized by a mass shooter.

Some time before 10:30 a.m., a gunman walked into a Sikh Temple in Oak Creek, Wis., and opened fire on the congregation. A weapons instructor who lives nearby told the media that the shots were coming as fast as one could pull the trigger. Women were gathered in the kitchen in order to prepare the “langar,” a free, shared meal that is part of a Sikh tradition emphasizing equality and common roots. The children were in Sunday school in the downstairs classroom. When the shooting began, the women and children hid in the pantry. A few of the men locked themselves in the bathroom so they could call for help before being shot themselves. One man lost his life trying to tackle the shooter. A police officer was shot multiple times trying to help one of the victims. By the time the rampage ended, seven persons were dead, including the shooter, and three more were critically wounded. There is no apparent motive for this act of what authorities are calling, domestic terrorism. This shocking atrocity has gained international attention as people ask, “Why?”

Most shocking for me was that the Sikh Temple is just a couple of miles from my home. I  drive past it on my way to the grocery store each week. I noticed when the temple was first built five years ago and wondered just what a Sikh Temple was. Now I know that it’s the place of worship for a 500-year-old East Indian religion whose premise is devotion and remembrance of God at all times, truthful living, and equality of mankind. What had they done to deserve being the target of a mass shooting?

Nothing, of course. And that made me realize that the Sikh community took the shots on the morning of August 5, but it could have been any congregation. It could have been my own parish community as we gathered in the park for holy Mass just a few miles from the Sikh Temple. It could have been your worship community as you gathered for Sunday liturgy – perhaps another city, another shooter, but with the same tragic senselessness.

That’s not all. A few hours after the shooting, police officers, fire fighters, and paramedics from surrounding cities converged on a duplex in Cudahy, Wis., six miles from the Sikh Temple. Before long, the FBI rolled in with tactical units, armored vehicles, and other specialists and equipment. They cordoned off Holmes Avenue and evacuated the residents. They’d found something related to the shooting, something major and, apparently, quite dangerous. The duplex in question is just eight blocks from my home and near a business district that I frequent often.

Not long after the news broke, I received calls and messages from friends worried that our family was safe. Yes, we were perfectly safe, but fairly unsettled. I was horrified and grieved by the Aurora, Colorado incident, but that was Colorado, and it was far away. This time, the mass shooting wasn’t in another state, it was practically in my back yard, and it’s had a very different effect on me. Mass shootings aren’t somebody else’s problem anymore, they’re my problem now.

The news media images of frantic, crying, members of the Sikh Temple – men, women, and children – linger in my brain. I still hear the anguished voices of victims interviewed after the incident. I still shudder when I think about SWAT teams and tactical units racing to the rescue. I can feel the Sikh congregation’s pain, yet what I feel can only be a minute fraction of the pain they feel. These are people I’ve likely passed on the street or bumped into in the grocery store. They share share my community. They’ve been trying to raise their families to be God-fearing people just as I’ve been trying to raise mine.

That fact that the Sikh Temple shooting occurred in my community is a reminder to me – and I hope to us all – that such horrific calamities can happen anywhere, and at any time. It’s also a reminder that we have to be vigilant against the evil one, since these incidents can have only evil at their roots. Because of that, the Our Father has taken on new meaning for me.

…lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 

We must pray that we are not tempted to hate others who are from different cultures and backgrounds. Furthermore, we must pray that we’ll not be tempted to hate the perpetrators of heinous acts like the Sikh Temple shooting. Finally, we must pray that tormented souls are not tempted to commit them.

Additionally, we must ask our heavenly Father to protect our families from the wickedness so rampant in our world today. Not only must we pray that we ourselves be delivered from evil, but also that other communities, other places of worship, and other families be delivered from evil.

Here’s what I’ve learned from the Sikh Temple shooting: We cannot walk in fear, but at the same time, we cannot walk in ignorance. We can’t cower in our basements and allow the threat of evil to stop us from fulfilling God’s plan for our lives. On the other hand, we can’t act recklessly and pretend it’s not there. In Matthew’s Gospel, our Lord tells us,“Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.” (Mt. 10:16)

Am I afraid to be living in Cudahy now? Not really, although I admit I’m a wee bit nervous after realizing that something like this could go on right under my nose. Will I avoid the areas involved in the shooting? No, although I’ll probably get a bit queasy driving past the first couple of times. You can bet I’ll send up a few Our Fathers, though, for the victims, for the community, for my family, and so that such barbarity may never happen again – in anyone’s back yard.

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

Some months back, my sister came to visit, and we had an interesting chat. Chris lives in New York and is a vice president at a very large and internationally-known corporation. She’s at the top of the corporate world, and at the forefront of women making their way in a “man’s world.” We were talking about the need for spiritual mothers and for women to, not only recognize, but to foster their spiritual motherhood. I was lamenting what I saw as the tendency for women to tamp down their mothering instincts and spiritual inclinations in order to hold their own in business.

Having been a public relations consultant for a number of years, I’d see some of that myself.

“I’ll bet,” I said, tapping my pointed finger on the table. “That the women who are the snittiest and snootiest are the ones who exhibit the least feminine qualities at work.”

Chris knitted her eyebrows and thought for a minute. “I think you’re right,” she replied.

“Do you know why?” I continued. “Because they’re miserable, that’s why. They stifle their
femininity and try to be more like their male counterparts and it makes them turn nasty.”

“Wow. I never saw it that way before,” Chris agreed.

“What’s more,” I rounded up my ranting. “If they were allowed to appreciate and use their feminine genius in the workplace, not only would they be happier, but everyone else in the office would prosper, too.”

Women should not be expected to deny their femininity in the workplace – or anywhere else, for that matter. What we can bring to the office, organization, neighborhood, school, parish, and home is invaluable. Men usually think in a linear pattern: first this, then that, then the next, and so on. They conceptualize and manage one thing at a time. Women, on the other hand, tend to see the whole picture at once, with all the details and implications involved. They can sense what needs to be done (even when that’s everything at once) and how people are coping in doing it. They can “feel” out a situation and can perceive the person as a whole.

Women have beautiful, essential qualities that add to – not detract from – progress, development, and success. We’re intuitive, creative, and sympathetic to the needs of others, which enables us to foster cooperation and caring. We have an innate need to nurture, which can show itself in countless ways that can be productive, uplifting, and motivating. We’re motherly (whether or not we’ve given birth), which gives us an aura of dependability, understanding, and trustworthiness. All women have these qualities at the core of their being. If any of us seem not to, it’s because it’s been neglected or inhibited.

It makes me both sad and angry when I think about how our culture has curtailed women’s dignity. We’re made to believe that we can only achieve in an occupation if we abandon or skew our femininity. We’re taught to be ashamed of motherhood by a society that loathes children unless they can be turned into a useful commodity. We should be embarrassed by our motherliness, and hide it at all costs.

What we’re missing is that the way women are made is no accident. It’s not a regrettable handicap or awful inadequacy with which we’re forced to live. No, women are made exactly as God intended them to be made, with all their lovely qualities and abilities (and, yes, shortcomings, too).

The words of the Psalmist are not meant only for men; they’re also meant for women:

You formed my inmost being;
you knit me in my mother’s womb,
I praise you, because I am wonderfully made;
wonderful are your works!
My very self you know. (Ps 139:13-14)

If you want more proof, think of the Incarnation. God could have chosen any of a plethora of means by which Jesus would come into the world. Yet, he chose that our Lord would be born of a Woman – brought into the world through her womb, cared for through her motherhood, and prepared for his mission through her motherliness and devotion. Mary was chosen for her feminine gifts – intuition, creativity, sympathy, nurturing, dependability, understanding, and trustworthiness, among so many others – not in spite of them. Tell me, please, what greater compliment can there be for women and their dignity than Christ coming through the body of a Woman?

God’s choice of Mary as Mother of his Son reflects on the exquisite value of all women. We women need to know this, but even more critically, we need to believe and be proud of it. Men need to accept and internalize it. When true femininity is allowed to flourish, women will regain their dignity. And from that, we’ll all benefit.

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

“Who’s in charge?” he asks with perfect calmness.
This isn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. I heave a deep sigh.
“She’s in charge,” I answer him back.
“Who’s in charge?” he asks me again.
I sigh even harder this time. “She’s in charge.” I answer back again.
“Who’s in charge?”
“She’s in charge.”
The round of question-sigh-answer repeats multiple times, until I’m almost to the end of my rope. “She’s in charge!” I loudly exclaim.
“Good,” Fr. Jonathan placidly responds. He sits forward, picks up his pen, and starts thoughtfully doodling again. “Now, where were we?” he asks with a huge, warm grin.

We’ve played this scene countless times over the past many years – in his meeting room, bumping into each other at events, and even via email once he’d been transferred to another location. Somewhere intertwined in our greeting and small talk would emerge, “Who’s in charge?” “She’s in charge.” My email messages would be pages long; Fr. Jonathan’s response might be anywhere from a paragraph to a page or so long, but somehow he’d manage to squeeze in, “Who’s in charge?”

This was Father’s masterful way of working with me, of helping me to live to the fullest the Covenant of Love I made long ago with our Blessed Mother through the Apostolic Movement of Schoenstatt. When we make a covenant with someone, we surrender ourselves completely, permanently, to the other. On May 15, 1977, Mary and I surrendered to each other, and from that moment on, I’ve put her in charge of every aspect of my life. Fr. Jonathan knew this, and he also knew that the key to helping me get through anything was to remind me that I’d put our Blessed Mother in charge of everything and that she’d take perfect care with her powerful intercession, if only I’d take a breath once in a while and let her.

Crumbled apostolate? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge. Betrayed or defamed? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge. Health or financial hardships? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge. Uncertainty ahead? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge. Misunderstood by superiors or loved ones? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge.

Fr. Jonathan wasn’t trying to put off my concerns; in fact, he charitably validated them. The doodling always ended up to be some kind of little chart or diagram that would visually represent the situation and act as a reminder for me over the coming weeks. His goal was to get me to see that everything, everything that happens is in God’s plan and that, with Mary at the helm, my ship will sail unperturbed in even the most viciously turbulent waters. She is Queen of all, and she’ll be victorious over all.

He used this method also to remind me that, because of my covenant, my successes belong to our Blessed Mother, too.

New book published? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge. Nailed that presentation? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge. Tricky problem solved? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge? Discord mended? Who’s in charge? She’s in charge.

So, now as I face some of the biggest challenges I’ve yet to face so far, I’m finding myself running an on-going, internal chant: ‘Who’s in charge? She’s in charge,” over and over again. Fr. Jonathan, having lost a battle with lung cancer some months back, isn’t here in person to echo the lines with me. Nevertheless, I can still see the glint in his eyes, the pen doodling on the pad, the warm smile spreading across his face. And I can still hear his voice, clear as ever. “Who’d in charge?” She’s in charge. She’ll always be in charge.

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

Tonight, our youngest child will be confirmed – our last Mohican. This is the last “big” sacrament we’ll celebrate as Fenelon Clan. Of course, receiving the holy Eucharist is a major celebration every single time we receive Him, and receiving the sacrament of Penance should simply delight us each time we’re reconciled, but I think you get my drift. This is the last sacramental milestone for the original four Fenelon Clan kids. The sacrament of Matrimony will be a milestone, but it’ll be the milestone that marks the beginning of our children’s life with their spouse, and no longer their life with Mark and me. Then they won’t be “our” kids; they’ll be someone’s husband  or wife and eventually their father or mother. Perhaps the next milestone will be Holy Orders, and in that case, it’s much the same. Our child will be espousing Christ and His Church, and will no longer be “our” child. That’s God’s plan, it is indeed beautiful, and I give thanks for it.

But, tonight we’re celebrating the sacrament of Confirmation, and it’s got me in somewhat of a knot. If I think too hard about it, I start to get sniffy and melancholic, so I’m trying to keep myself busy so I don’t cave. Tonight, our son, John, will complete the sacrament of Baptism, this time of his own accord, not through his parents and godparents. From now on, he’ll be taking responsibility for his own faith, and committing himself to Christ as a Christian adult.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church puts it perfectly:

“Baptism, the Eucharist, and the sacrament of Confirmation together constitute the ‘sacraments of Christian initiation,’ whose unity must be safeguarded. It must be explained to the faithful that the reception of the sacrament of Confirmation is necessary for the completion of baptismal grace. For ‘by the sacrament of Confirmation, [the baptized] are more perfectly bound to the Church and are enriched with a special strength of the Holy Spirit. Hence they are, as true witnesses of Christ, more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed.” (CCC 1285)

As true witnesses of Christ, the confirmed are more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed. In a society that kills its own children, euthanizes it’s disabled and elderly, contorts the sanctity of marriage, persecutes Catholics (and other Christians), and even denies the very existence of God, that can be a daunting responsibility. Thanks be to God (literally), those confirmed are “enriched with a special strength of the Spirit.” With the present state of affairs, it seems to me that Catholics will need all the strength they can get, especially those currently preparing for, and receiving, the sacrament of Confirmation. This generation will have a lot on its shoulders.

So, when the bishop anoints John during the ceremony, he’ll be receiving a permanent  spiritual seal that is meant to carry him through to eternity. I’ll be spiritually standing beside him, not as the soppy mom of the last Mohican, but as a fellow adult Catholic Christian prepared to fight for Christ. As the chrism graces the foreheads of all the confimandi, I’ll be renewing my own Confirmation, and praying that all the others present do, too. We’ll all need that special strength of the Spirit for the time to come.

The awesomeness of the sacrament does somewhat loosen the knot for me, since I, like any other Catholic parent, want to see my children grow to maturity in their Catholic faith. Still, I suspect I’ll maybe get a tiny bit weepy as I watch John being confirmed. Okay, I lied. I’ve already stuffed my purse with those little tissue packets because I’ll probably be sobbing. Religious and sacramental milestones get to me, even when I don’t even know the  person(s) receiving them.  Yet, in between the blubbering and nose blowing, I’ll be rejoicing. This is a monumental and grace-filled event for Fenelon Clan, for John, and for the entire Church.

Our last Mohican is being confirmed!

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

We have a prayer corner, which we call a home shrine in the tradition of the Schoenstatt Movement to enthrone the Blessed Mother in our homes. It’s placed in a prominent position in our open-concept home and has many of the symbols and sacramentals of a real church. It’s the center of our lives and because we’re around it all the time, it’s a normal part of our household – at least to us. Apparently, it wasn’t at all normal for the remodeler. He stopped talking mid-sentence when he entered the house and gave the home shrine a long, horrified stare. I was tempted to briefly explain our tradition, but I sensed that he wouldn’t be open to it. Rather, I decided to be very cool about it and let him have his space. I offered him a seat, and he haltingly accepted. He was sure to sit as far away from the home shrine and possible, and twisted himself so he’d be facing completely away from it. He couldn’t have been comfortable. I tried desperately not to smirk.

Granted, the remodeler may not have been Christian or perhaps he had a bad religious experience earlier in his life that caused his aversion to our devotion. If that’s the case either way, I feel sorry for him and pray that one day he’ll be able to open his heart to Christ. Still, his behavior reminds me of the way many of us live our marriages; any blatant demonstration of piety seems out of place and uncomfortable.

In fact, what our marriages need to be is a constant display of religiosity with a marked openness to the in-break of the divine at every moment. Our married life should be a reflection and continuation of holy Mass. During Mass, we offer sacrifice with Christ to the heavenly Father, we become intimately united with Christ and each other, and we receive life-giving grace and strength. In Mass, the Father is the center of all, as he should be in the rest of our married life. Every aspect of our day (yes, even the most private ones) should be a reenactment of the offertory, consecration, and communion of Mass. All that we have, are, and do, we offer to the heavenly Father. All that we have, are, and do is consecrated to him and thus made holy. Everything we have, are, and do becomes a means of unity with him and with each other.

Not all of us can attend Mass every day, but we can begin our days by spiritually attending Mass through prayer and spiritual communion. We can recall the offertory, consecration, and communion of the Mass and offer, consecrate, and communicate spiritually ourselves, our spouses, and our marriage, including all that we’ll say and do for the rest of that day. Perhaps we can stop here or there during the day to re-offer, re-consecrate, and re-communicate. This can be done quite simply, with a brief, spontaneous prayer such as, “Father in heaven, we offer all we do and say today as spouses to you, please accept it. We consecrate all we do and say as spouses to you, please bless it. We ask you to unite with us throughout this day and grant us grace and strength for our marriage. Amen.”  In this way, our marriages become a holy, sacrificial union that gives glory to God.

At first, this level of devotion may seem out of place and uncomfortable. If we’re serious about our striving, the discomfort will melt away and be replaced by genuine joy and fulfillment. The more we practice, the easier it will be and the more normal it will seem. Eventually, it will become an integral part of our lives.

We thank Fathers for Good for their kind permission to reprint this column.

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

We were excited to join the program, because we wanted to start things off right. We thought we were doing great, until we met with the older couple to discuss the results of our pre-marital inventory, a questionnaire designed to evaluate the couple’s compatibility and project their potential for forming a viable marriage.

According to the couple, we’d completely bombed the questionnaire. Mark and I disagreed on many items – too many to assure them of our compatibility – and the couple was concerned. Not only that, but also they recommended that we not get married! We were certain of our vocation to marriage and to each other, so we protested their assessment. With trepidation, they agreed to discuss the matter with the pastor and schedule a meeting for the five of us afterward. When we met, the pastor recommended against our marrying, too.

What ensued was a considerable amount of head shaking, eyebrow raising, and sighing. That’s not to mention the excessive nervousness on the part of Mark and me. Finally, and obviously reluctantly, the pastor agreed to marry us. We were ecstatic and eager to proceed with our wedding plans. That was twenty-nine years ago.

What made us so convinced that the apparent lack of compatibility was not an issue?

We were well aware of our differences. Yet, we also were aware of the power of the graces given to married couples through the Sacrament of Marriage.  Husband and wife are privy to God’s grace in as much as they need, whenever they need it, and God’s grace has unlimited ability to change, transform, and purify.

Based on that, Mark and I added a private dimension to our marriage vows beyond “love, honor, and obey,” that that secured our desire and commitment to change for each other. We’d been (repeatedly) told the old cliché “you get what you marry,” meaning you have to accept the other just as he/she is, without further expectations. We felt that was true, but only to a degree. We believed that “what you marry” is only the starting point. We were convicted that the sacramental graces would help us to change for the sake of the other in order to become the individuals and couple that God had in mind for us to be from all Eternity.

Change, in this context, doesn’t mean becoming a completely different person. It means accentuating and improving on the qualities God has given us and working to achieve and develop others. It means opening ourselves to the other’s point of view and squelching the bad habits, annoying behaviors, and obnoxious attitudes that threaten our closeness as man and wife. It means humbly praying together for God’s guidance and persistently seeking Truth.

Let’s take, for example, our daughter’s pre-mature birth and month-long stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The day before Monica was to be released from the hospital, she contracted a systemic staph infection which literally killed her. After three tries, they were able to revive her. Instead of celebrating her homecoming, we spent the next days wondering whether or not she would live.

I was angry. I’d cry and beat the daylights out of my pillow each night over the agony of watching our baby suffer with the tubes, wires, needles, and restraints. Mark was silent, going about his day as normally as possible in between hospital visits. I took his silence as unaffectedness, which added to my anger. One day, I could take it no more, and I exploded.

“What’s wrong with you? Don’t you care?” I screamed at him. The discussion that followed was one of the most important of our entire marriage. Now I know that Mark’s initial reaction will be silence; he’ll work through it internally, piecing it together in his mind and trying to make sense out of it before responding. Knowing that, I’m content to give him some space before we tackle a hurdle. In turn, he tries to indicate where he’s at so I don’t go berserk while I’m waiting to discuss. He also tries to be more expressive when we do talk.

A couple can be so incompatible that they shouldn’t marry, and I don’t recommend serendipitously casting off a pastor’s advice. I do recommend calling on the grace promised through the Sacrament of Marriage and commitment to change for the sake of the other. It’s a great way to both start a marriage and continue one.

Friday, January 20, 2012, the Obama administration announced that faith-based institutions must cover free contraception for employees. While mainstream media tries to pass this off as merely covering “the pill,” it also includes sterilization and abortifacients. (See the AP story here.) Regardless, Catholics (and other religious denominations) are being forced to accept insurance coverage for procedures and chemicals that are mortally dangerous, both physically and spiritually. What’s more, we’re being forced to pay for others to accept such coverage also, or go without health care coverage ourselves. Of course, the administration attempted to soften the blow by allowing faith-based entities until August 2013 to make the necessary changes to their insurance packages.

The Obama administration timed the announcement perfectly – right smack in the middle of the United States Bishops ad limina visits with the Holy Father during which the threat to our religious liberty is a primary concern, and just before the March for Life in Washington, DC.

On Thursday, January 19, Pope Benedict XVI remarked about this in his address to Region IV of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB):

“In the light of these considerations, it is imperative that the entire Catholic community in the United States come to realize the grave threats to the Church’s public moral witness presented by a radical secularism which finds increasing expression in the political and cultural spheres. The seriousness of these threats needs to be clearly appreciated at every level of ecclesial life. Of particular concern are certain attempts being made to limit that most cherished of American freedoms, the freedom of religion. Many of you have pointed out that concerted efforts have been made to deny the right of conscientious objection on the part of Catholic individuals and institutions with regard to cooperation in intrinsically evil practices. Others have spoken to me of a worrying tendency to reduce religious freedom to mere freedom of worship without guarantees of respect for freedom of conscience.” (Read the full text here.)

The Holy Father cited this as a “grave threat” in which we’re being forced to cooperate in “intrinsically evil practices.”

Well, the USCCB isn’t going to take this lying down. They’ve vowed to fight this order as “literally unconscionable.” “In effect, the president is saying we have a year to figure out how to violate our consciences,” said Cardinal-designate Timothy Dolan, USCCB president in a LifeSiteNews interview on January 20. “To force American citizens to choose between violating their consciences and forgoing their healthcare is literally unconscionable,” he continued. “It is as much an attack on access to health care as on religious freedom. Historically this represents a challenge and a compromise of our religious liberty.” (Read the entire story here.)

Cardinal-designate also spoke out about the HHS ruling in a web video in which he urged Catholics and the public at large to speak out in protest. “Let your elected leaders know that you want religious liberty and rights of conscience restored and that you want the administration’s contraceptive mandate rescinded,” he said. (View the entire video here.)

Absolutely we have to do that, but we also have to do more. This is both a political and a spiritual battle. We need to educate ourselves about this issue so that we’ll really know what we’re talking about and how to fight it when it rolls out. Even more, we need to prepare ourselves spiritually by receiving the sacraments often and deepening our relationship with the Triune God. We also need to step up our prayer life, praying not only for ourselves and our loved ones, but also for our bishops in their part of the fight. We have to pray for the administration to change its ways, and for a new administration that will be able to undo the harm caused by the current one. Yet, there’s even more we can do. We can fast, make spiritual sacrifices, do works of mercy, increase our self-discipline, and offer it for a moral and acceptable resolution to this crisis because this is just a next step in the persecution of the Catholic faith in our country.

There’s much we can do, and we need to begin now. We simply can’t take this lying down.

Copyright 2012 Marge Fenelon

This morning began as any normally abnormal one around the Fenelon Clan abode – with me taking my handful of horse-pill vitamins, one agonizing swallow at a time. They say you can’t buy health in a bottle. Maybe so. But, I figure it’s like taking out an insurance policy: You go for years wasting your money because you don’t want to find out what would’ve happened if you hadn’t paid the premiums.

As I stood at the kitchen counter trying to down the supplements as quickly as possible, I dropped one. I knew because I heard it drop, but didn’t know which one it was because I wasn’t keeping track of which ones I’d taken and which I’d not. I was pretty sure it was a big white calcium tablet, so I scoured the floor for it. It was nowhere in sight. I checked under the wine rack. Nope. I fished under the stove. Not there, either. Between the frig and counter? No. Under the rug? Niltch. At this point, I was fairly irritated, which made me all the more determined to hunt that derelict down. Surely, I’m smarter than a horse-pill vitamin! (That’s a rhetorical question, by the way.)

After a pout or two, I decided to try thinking out of the box. What if it wasn’t a calcium tablet that dropped, but rather one of the other supplement tablets that had fallen instead?

I decided to run my search and rescue from another perspective, so I moved to a different corner of the kitchen. And then I saw it. There, right under the spot I’d been standing before, was a neutral-colored (read puke-brown) multi-vitamin! It had blended in with the color of our hardwood floors, and so I overlooked it. Just for spite, I scooped it up, brushed it off, and downed it in one swoop.

I’d missed seeing the dropped vitamin on the first search because I’d stubbornly locked myself into thinking that it was a white, not brown, tablet for which I was looking. I missed the “right” vitamin because I was looking for the “wrong” one.

Isn’t that what so many of us do during the Christmas season? We lock ourselves into thinking that we only can discover Christ in a particular way – in a white tablet, if you will – when he might actually be revealing himself to us in a completely different way. Often, he appears right under the spot on which we stand, figuratively speaking. We miss him because we’re determined that he should meet our expectations.

We race through Advent, doing all those Christmas-y things that we think will lead the way to him, like shopping, decorating, baking, and partying. We might do some charitable works, which are noble and needed and give us a sense of worth.  The tree is lovely to look at, the music lifts our spirits (at least for a while), the lights are enticing, and the goodies make our tummies feel satisfied (temporarily). Family gatherings are a riot (sometimes literally), and giving and receiving gifts gives us a real high. The concerts warm our hearts and the liturgies elevate them to heaven. It’s all good and wonderful, and all of it is important.

However, if we look for Christ only in that – only in the white tablet of the Christmas glitz and activity – we risk missing him as he wishes to reveal himself to us, in the less conspicuous brown tablet. I’ve spoken with countless people who relate that, each year after all the Christmas hoopla subsides, they find themselves feeling somehow let down or sad. That’s because they’ve missed the subtle coming of the Babe in the quiet moments and small, unexpected happenings around them. More importantly, they miss his subtle approach within their own hearts because they continue to search for him outside of themselves. When all the exterior goings-on are over, they’re left feeling empty and alone.

We can change that, beginning right now, by stepping to another corner and looking at the layout from a new perspective. It’s fine to participate in all the holiday traditions and excitement; we just can’t let that be our only way to search for the Newborn King. We need to find creative, meaningful ways to observe his coming. Perhaps it means a new prayer routine, some concentrated Scripture reading, or a pilgrimage to a holy place. Maybe it means a daily ten-minute break to meditate on the miracle of the Word Incarnate, opening our hearts to whatever he has in store for us.It matters less what we do as it does how we do it – with love, humility, faith, and genuine desire.

When we stop looking for the big, white tablet and allow our eyes to rest on the less obvious brown one, we’ll discover more than we’d ever hoped. We’ll discover our Lord in all his magnificence – a magnificence so grand it won’t disappear when the decorations do. And we’ll have found it right under the spot on which we stood.

Copyright 2011 Marge Fenelon

Editor’s Note: We congratulate Marge Fenelon on the release of her wonderful new book Strengthening Your Family: A Catholic Approach to Holiness at Home. With the approach of the upcoming holiday season, this is the perfect time to treat yourself to Marge’s book. Watch for her guest appearance soon on the Catholic Moments podcast. LMH

In an effort to grab a bigger piece of Holiday Shopper Pie, major retailers have altered their “after Thanksgiving” hours such that they’ve begun to cut deeper into the Thanksgiving Holiday itself. In recent years, chains such as Target, Kohls, Macy’s, Wal-Mart, and Best Buy had opened their doors to customers in the wee hours – anywhere from 3 a.m. to 5 a.m. – starting a trend that has continued. Last year, the sales began at midnight.  This year, Wal-Mart will open at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving Night and Toys R Us will open at 9 p.m. The movement to roll Black Friday into Black Thursday has met with mixed reviews from employees and shoppers. Some wonder whether the same trend will begin with the “after Christmas” hours, by cutting into Christmas Day. What about Easter and other religious holidays?

I’m actually delighted to see retailers dropping prices and promoting sales. In this economy, we all can use a price break. Additionally, it shows that retailers can sell items for far less and still turn a profit! Sales (even holiday sales) are fine in and of themselves, but they become a danger to society when they encourage consumerism above family tradition.

One would argue that no one is forced to shop on those days, and I agree. However, when retailers offer outrageous deals on limited quantities for a specified amount of time, they put the panic on consumers who are trying to stretch their dollars as far as possible. What’s more, doing this on holidays (as opposed to other times of the year), manipulates consumers – especially parents convinced that Susie and Johnny will be happy on Christmas morning only if they get THE toy all their friends are talking about – and plants false notions into their hearts. Consumers who fall for this propaganda come to believe that they ARE doing good things for their families by buying them the “perfect gift,” which they now think they can afford because of the sale. Sadly, most of it is purchased on credit, which only increases their financial difficulties, but that’s fodder for another column…

With this mindset, families are being pulled away from the family table on holidays and toward the outlandish world of competition and merchandising. Instead of spending focused time together during which they can foster unity and tradition, relish a relaxed meal, and share real affection, concern, and interest in one another, they’re riffling through sales flyers, plotting merchant routes, piling into the car and heading out to get in on the best deals in town. Worse is when the family is divided, with Mom heading for the department store, Dad heading for the hardware store, and the kids either off to the mall or left behind at home.  Even if the sale begins after the usual celebration time for most families, they’re anticipating the big holiday sale and adjusting schedules and activities in order to participate.

By digging deeper into the holidays with their holiday sales, retailers are digging deeper into what should be sacred time for families, and we’re letting them. If we didn’t attend the holiday sales, retailers wouldn’t hold them. If we weren’t willing to cut Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner short for them, retailers wouldn’t open their doors for us at those hours. They’re only giving us what we seem to want.

Do we? The key is to form ourselves and our children into not wanting it, and that starts by forming strong families in an atmosphere that stands firm against the current. When it’s our time together, it’s our time together. Period. That takes guts and self-discipline, but it can be done. This is something I talk a lot about in my latest book, Strengthening Your Family: A Catholic Approach to Holiness at Home, just released by Our Sunday Visitor. When our homes are places of joy and belonging, when we obviously value our times and traditions together, and demonstrate true commitment to one another, the current outside rushes past without dragging us along with it.

Oh, sure. We might save $100 on that new gizmo the kids want for Christmas if we rush out the door in the middle of the night…or right after the pumpkin pie’s been wolfed down. But is that really worth missing the laughs and stupid (sometimes very stupid) family jokes? How about the knowing glances between siblings over the memory of a childhood prank?  Is it really worth diminishing the satisfaction of lolling around together after having enjoyed a great meal? Or the chance to savor all the beautiful holiday experiences and impressions? Is it worth deterring the asides and inflections that spontaneously surface when we’re all together and no one’s in a hurry to get anywhere?

The word “holiday” is derived from the word “holy day,” a term coined in the early Church to represent sacred festivals, days of special significance during which people rested from usual activities. Holidays were meant to be times to commemorate and celebrate the themes and symbols that mean something to us, and that help make us who we are. Let’s show the retailers that our families are more important to us that their holiday sales. Who knows? Perhaps it will help them to realize that the families of their employees and their own families are more important, too. The family table simply cannot be replaced by a shopping cart, no matter how good the deal. When we turn holidays back into holy days, not only will our individual families benefit, but all of society will benefit as well.

©2011 Marge Fenelon

Perhaps you remember that the Battle of Lepanto was fought on October 7, 1571 between the Turkish fleet and Catholic naval forces primarily from Spain, Venice, and Genoa under command of Don Juan of Austria. In this last battle of oar-driven ships, the meager Christian force defeated – against all rational odds – the Moslem force, which was the most powerful navy in the world.

How was this done? It was done through the power of the Rosary! St. Pope Pius V, then the holy pontiff, knew that the Christian forces were at a serious disadvantage, materially speaking, and so he called for all of Europe to pray the Rosary for victory. They got it. Not only that, but also the victory was a decisive one, preventing the Islamic invasion of Europe. It’s said that, although St. Pope Pius V was at the Vatican hundreds of miles away from the battle, he suddenly received the conviction that the battle had been won. He rose from his seat during a meeting, went to the window and radiantly exclaimed, “The Christian fleet is victorious!” and shed tears of thanksgiving to God.

The Christian fleet is victorious! Those words have rung in my head ever since I first read them umpteen years ago. My heart zings when I imagine ships filled with big burly sailors battling it out on the open seas, flags snapping on the masts, cannons booming, guns firing, fires blazing, knuckles white, nerves steadied, sweat trickling down the brows. My spine tingles at the exceptional maneuvers, the ingenious tactics, the exceptional courage, and the unexpected results of the battle. But what gets me most is the fact that the real power behind this astounding naval victory was our very own Blessed Mother Mary.

Whenever I face an apparently unbeatable foe, I grab my Rosary and tell myself, this is a Lepanto moment! Just having those beads in hand makes me feel as though the victory already has begun. I imagine myself at the bow, wind blowing in my face and the ravages of a sea battle around me. At the center of it all is our Blessed Mother, with all the power the heavenly Father has given her to achieve the victory. Whether it’s a mere skirmish of trying to get through a rotten day, the seemingly insurmountable battle of family discord, or the all-out war of a loved one with terminal illness, I’ve got my beads at the ready. I may not have exceptional maneuvers, ingenious tactics, or exceptional courage, but I have the privilege of invoking Mary’s help in achieving the victory. Whether I pray with clarity and determination, or simply rote-recite the prayers in numb desperation, I know she’s listening, accepting my plea, and taking the upper hand for me in the conflict. If I surrender all to her, she will be victorious no matter what the odds.

Granted, I have a pretty active imagination, but the point is that we can and should keep the Lepanto spirit throughout the year, not just on the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary.

“The Church has always attributed particular efficacy to this prayer, entrusting to the Rosary, to its choral recitation and to its constant practice, the most difficult problems. At times when Christianity itself seemed under threat, its deliverance was attributed to the power of this prayer, and Our Lady of the Rosary was acclaimed as the one whose intercession brought salvation.” Blessed Pope John Paul II tells us in his in his apostolic letter on the Holy Rosary, ROSARIUM VIRGINIS MARIAE.

We all have seemingly unbeatable foes; they come in many forms and from many directions. Sometimes we can feel as though they’re coming from all directions! Regardless, we have recourse to defeat them, perhaps not as in a physical battle, but in the battle of our hearts that often arise when we’re seeking to understand and accept God’s will. The battles in our lives may not be decided according to the way we want them to be, but they will be decided according to the way God knows they must be and against all rational odds. By entrusting them to the Blessed Mother in confidence, we allow her to work in and through us in unimaginable ways.  When we put her at the bow, she’ll use the power given her by the heavenly Father to achieve the victory. Then we’ll be keeping the Lepanto spirit.

Copyright 2011 Marge Fenelon

I set everything out just right, so proud of my handiwork. I even gave our son a little hug and a sweet peck on the cheek. And what did I get in return? A sigh and a pair of rolling eyes. Alas, I do believe that my traditional first-day-of-school breakfasts are losing their charm! But…I just don’t understand. What 15-year-old wouldn’t want little suns staring up at him from his breakfast plate?

By now you realize it was a joke – both the sunshine theme and the eye rolling on the part of our son. I really did make those things, but it was just to tease him about having to get up early today after a summer of, well, summer schedule. If I hadn’t had a radio gig this morning, I wouldn’t have wanted to get up early, either! Of course, having been up already for three hours and downed four cups of coffee perked my imagination (Fine. It was six cups). But I would have done something special anyway.

The start of the new school year is important for more than academic reasons. It signals a fresh start, a new beginning. It also is a reminder that we’re growing and developing – even those of us who are no longer in school. How many of us get the urge to go shopping for new clothes, books, or office supplies at this time of year? That’s because it’s ingrained into us that September (or late August for some) means change. The air is cooler, the leaves will soon turn color, even the paths of the sun and moon are different.

This is reason to both look back – how did we do last year? – and ahead – how would we like to do this year? We all can and should be doing that; we need to stop from time to time in order to access where we’ve been and where we’re going. Are we progressing intellectually? Emotionally? Spiritually? Often, we’re so snarled in the same old grind that it doesn’t seem like we’re moving ahead at all. But, we are, and we should take time to make note of that.

Before each important step in his life, our Lord took time out. For example, he spent 40 days in the desert before being baptized by John the Baptist and beginning his public ministry (Mt 4:1). He went up the mountain and prayed the entire night before choosing his apostles (Lu 6:12), and he withdrew to Gethsemane after the Last Supper to pray as he awaited the arrival of the soldiers to arrest him (Mt 26:36). If Jesus took time for meditation and contemplation before moving ahead, then shouldn’t we?

The school year is starting, and that’s cause for reflection and celebration, whether it’s a serious or frivolous one. The sunshine may be getting older around here, but it still heralds the start of something new and exciting.

©2011 Marge Fenelon

Louis Hall is one of them. Together with his six children, Hall has written, illustrated, and produced Angelic Twaddle Comics, a 90-page collection of “fun and insightful single-panel comics for ages 10 and up.” Hall and his children describe the book as humor with a conscience, an accurate, if not understated, term. Angelic Twaddle is humorous, playful, and well done.

What started as an excuse for a dad to spend more time with his kids ended up being an artistic enterprise. Hall drew the comics, but his children scanned them, conducted digital file management, and assisted with editing, proof-reading, and marketing. Along the way, they learned an awful lot about the world of visual communication.

Hall, a native of Minnesota, graduated with honors from the University of St. Thomas with a BA in Studio Art and completed undergraduate studies at St. John’s University (Minnesota). He has 15 years experience as a professional designer, illustrator, photographer, and artist. No wonder his kids are so talented.He and his wife homeschool their children.

The book’s introduction is a sample of the flavor of what readers will find inside:

“My children and I take no responsibility for this comic series; we were compelled by  unseen forces that we could not resist. We blame this book entirely on our parents, God, and the angels.

“WARNING: The world-view and framework presented by Angelic Twaddle is tantalizing for constructing a complete infallible belief system; please consume moderately.”

Hogwash. Consume all you like, and once you’ve consumed all of it, go back and re-digest it because it’ll strike you a new way each time you open it. From the slippery slope of angelic interference as a toddler builds a block tower to the regrets of Black Beard’s guardian, Anglic Twaddle explores “Girl Power”, ”Google Hell” and “Plumber’s Butt” all from a wacky guardian angel perspective, andwill get you thinking – and laughing at – the antics of angels as it simultaneously pulls you into the reality of their existence.

The best part of the book, of course, is that it proves that dads and kids can and should work together. Obviously, the Hall children have enjoyed doing this project with their dad as much as their dad has enjoyed doing it with them. With Angelic Twaddle, the Hall Family makes a true statement: Dads are not mythological creatures; they’re real human beings who can do wonderful things for and with their children, and Louis Hall is witness to that existence.

Angelic Twaddle will be a fantastic gift for friends and relatives looking for the lighter, more celestial side of life, as well as a blessed indulgence (pun intended) for yourself and your family. At just $9.95, it’s also a heavenly bargain.

Hall and his children have a website: www.angelictwaddle.com. They also will accept mail orders; the eBook version is available on Kindle at Amazon.

Copyright 2011 Marge Fenelon

In our prayer corner, we have a gray slate shingle that once belonged to the roof of the original Schoenstatt Marian shrine, the founding place of the International Schoenstatt Movement in Schoenstatt, Germany, by Father Joseph Kentenich in 1914. Some years back, local movement members salvaged the old shingles when the shrine was given a much-needed new roof. Our shingle was given to us as a gift by some dear German friends who are members of the Schoenstatt Movement, just as my husband and I. It’s an important reminder to us of our roots and a meaningful link between the original shrine and our prayer corner, which we call a home shrine, because we’ve enthroned the Blessed Mother there in the tradition of the Schoenstatt Movement.

While the shingle isn’t part of the original roof (the Schoenstatt Shrine, a former cemetery chapel, was built in the 1100s), it is the better part of a century old, with cracks, crevices, and chips throughout. To most people, it probably looks like a shabby old piece of flat stone. To me, it’s a piece of my heritage, with each crack, crevice, and chip signaling an event, person or milestone that contributed to the history of the movement. Its presence in our home shrine reminds me that one day, I’ll be one of those cracks or crevices – a person long gone and likely forgotten, but who somehow contributed to the history of Schoenstatt.

We had just finished painting the walls of our dining room – the room in which we enthroned our Blessed Mother – and I wanted to clean and polish everything before reassembling the home shrine. I held the slate under the kitchen faucet, letting the warm water gently flow over it, swooshing over it with my sponge. Then I laid the slate on a towel to dry.

“There!” I signed with pleasure. “That’s that.”

I finished cleaning the rest of the home shrine items and set them aside. Then I went to retrieve the slate from the kitchen counter. It looked as dirty as it had been before I washed it!

I grunted in disgust, “Fine. I’ll wash you again, you nasty thing.”

I repeated the cleaning process, this time adding a couple drops of dish soap to my sponge and wiping with a little more vigor and deliberation. When I came back to re-examine it later, I saw that it was better, but still not completely clean. Stubborn, grimy dust still was nestled into the deepest part of each crack, crevice and chip.

“Argh!” I seethed, wanting to get on with the rest of my day.

I took the sponge, added a bit more soap this time, and meticulously wedged the corner of the sponge into each dust-laden corner of the slate, matching edge to edge and making sure I had just the right angle on the sponge. As I worked, I began to chuckle to myself.

“Ha!” I exclaimed. “I’m wiping the slate clean!”

As I continued to work, my pun started to sink in. It occurred to me that I have a lot of “slates” in my life; people and situations that became marred by the grimy dust of misunderstandings, misjudgments, misinterpretations, or even just stupid mistakes. Some of that dust was light enough to be swished away with little effort, or at least it was easier to fool myself into thinking it was gone. Some of it nestled deep enough to require serious wedging from just the right angle and with an extra dose of soap. On first pass, I’d think – I’d hoped – I’d swooshed it all clean, only to later discover that much of it remained, still caught in the cracks and crevices. Then I’d have to go over it again, this time digging deeper and with more care. I’d to go back and right the wrongs, or admit that there are some wrongs that can never be righted completely but must simply be let go.

Now the shrine roof slate has a new meaning for me. It reminds me that, no matter how much I’d prefer to wipe the slate clean in one swift pass, often I have to get out the soap – God’s grace and mercy – and go over those cracks and crevices with greater vigor and deliberation. Prayer, the Sacraments, and surrender to God’s will can help me to match the sponge – my humility – edge for edge, making sure I have just the right angle. Then I’ll have wiped the slate clean.

©2011 Marge Fenelon