Last night as I tossed and turned in a sort of melancholic state, I began thinking about isolation, and you know what? It really stinks. I think that graduate school offers an interesting take on isolation: You’re constantly surrounded by people — students, classmates, professors, friends – but at the same time, you’ve never been more alone. Or at least that’s one of my personal opinions about it.

Let me explain: I came to graduate school fresh out of undergrad – and I moved to a place where I knew absolutely no one. My closest family is 6 hours away – a quarter of a day’s drive away. Everyone I knew from undergrad was going their separate ways, or staying put and starting their lives in the “real world.” I moved at the end of the summer and started a demanding one year Masters program, unsure of my next move (The next year I began a 3 year PhD program… I’m currently finishing up my second year, to give some perspective of the time elapsed). Needless to say there was much uncertainty.

Don’t get me wrong: I have met a ton of wonderful people, people who are my closest friends and have become like family members to me in my new home-away-from-home. And for them, I am eternally grateful. I’ve stayed in touch with many friends from home as well. I have no reason to feel isolated because I’ve got such a great support system. Yet, the isolation remains.

You see, doing graduate work is, in and of itself, an isolating experience. Yes, you go to class where you see and interact with other people. Yes, you collaborate sometimes on research. But at the end of the day, you spend alot of time alone trying to get things done. Everyone gets so tied up in deadlines and papers and finals that the few social interactions you have that are NOT school related become fewer and further between. And, inevitably, those social interactions end up becoming school related, because there’s no way to separate yourself from your work. It becomes who you are.

Is this necessarily a bad thing? No, not exactly. But, to have some sense of sanity, it is healthy to take some time off too. Sad thing is, that your time off often becomes time off plus sneaking in some work on the side. As I said, it becomes YOU.

So last night I tossed and turned, feeling sorry for myself. I have friends, but I’m so busy that the ones who live further away I only get to talk to on occasion. The ones who are here are also quite busy and when we try to get together, something usually comes up for one or the other of us and plans get cancelled, which further perpetuates feelings of isolation. I was feeling homesick after my wonderful week with my family, and let’s face it, this southern girl got a taste of her “70 degrees and flip flops” weather for a week and returned to gloomy greyness! Woe is me! I was throwing myself quite the pity party at 1AM, when I should have been sleeping so that I could get up for my 8AM class. And finally something hit me that really helped me to put some things into perspective.

We are in the season of Lent, a time for contemplation about what Christ did to save mankind and open the gates of Heaven. Honestly, the first half of Lent – a time that is supposed to be spent on personal reflection about how to make amends, to better yourself for Christ’s resurrection at Easter - for me just wasn’t happening as it should. I didn’t feel the kind of personal reflection that I was doing really made me better of a person. It seemed run-of-the-mill. Sort of stuck in a rut, going through the motions kind of same old same old. I’m not sure why.. but something was missing. There was an emptiness. More isolation. There I laid having a pity party and not feeling grateful for the blessings that I DO have in life. I chose to reflect on the negative, the isolation. Then, I realized how selfish I was really being.

Instead of reflecting about my perhaps slightly blown out of proportion perception of personal isolation, I suddenly felt moved to reflect on God – and the first thing that came to me was The Agony in the Garden, perhaps the most ultimate example of utter isolation, anguish and despair.

My plight is nowhere near that of Christ’s. It almost seems silly to be having a pity party about isolation when it is immeasurable compared to that which Christ faced. Reflecting on the Agony in the Garden gave me an entirely different perspective on what I was going through. I am by no means going through (or beginning to go through) the trials and tribulations that Christ faced during His Passion.

Carl Heinrich Bloch – Agony in the Garden / Photo Credit: Full Circle

As we approach the halfway mark of Lent this weekend with Laetare Sunday, I’m feeling a little bit better about the personal reflection part of Lent. I’m ready to take the turn in the direction in which Laetare Sunday nudges us and am anticipating the coming of Easter, such a joyous occasion in the Church! [To date, not sure of of my Easter plans. Since I'm so far from home and without any break from school, that's not an option. I'm contemplating going to Latin Mass though!]

So where does that leave me? Yes, things get difficult in graduate school. Sometimes the world seems to go by a such a rate that there is no time for anything else besides work work work. There are times when you’re going to be alone physically. But are we ever truly alone? I am grateful for my physical support system of people who, near or far, care about me and are there for me when I need them. However, we often forget about our more invisisble support system, the one that is present day in and day out, no matter what we say or what we do. The one that is always there – even when we forget about Him.

Divine Mercy

Sidnote: I fell asleep shortly after this revelation last night… in the peace of Christ’s love for me.

Copyright 2011 Mary Catherine Kennedy

This is a touchy subject for many Catholics: It is definitely considered to be a bone of contention that pits groups against one another with what is the “right” choice. If girls are permitted to be servers, then that seemingly opens the door for the ordination of women to the priesthood. If you look at altar serving in the traditional sense – that it is almost like an apprenticeship for young boys to assist the priest while forming an opinion on their discernment to the call of the priesthood – then the answer seems clear that this position only be available for boys. However, this concept seems to be lost in modern Catholicism, thus making a clear cut answer from 50 years ago much more blurred. I don’t claim to have an answer to this question that I’ve posed, but I can speak from experience and share some insights that have helped me to form an educated opinion on the matter.

First, I should begin by stating that I was, indeed, a female altar server. In fact, I was the first one at my parish in a small coastal town in South Carolina. The first time I served was with my older brother at a weekday, summer Mass for the installation of new members of the Knights of Columbus. I believe this was in July 1995. Less than a year later, my brother and I also represented our parish as altar servers at a Mass held during a Diocesan Synod in Myrtle Beach.

In March 1994, official communication from the Sacred Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments was sent from Rome, addresssing the admittance of female altar servers. It was this communiqué that I believe got the ball rolling, so to say, to have girls serve Mass in the United States. However, the letter clearly states that:

The Holy See respects the decision adopted by certain Bishops for specific local reasons on the basis of the provisions of Canon 230 2. At the same time, however, the Holy See wishes to recall that it will always be very appropriate to follow the noble tradition of having boys serve at the altar. As is well known, this has led to a reassuring development of priestly vocations. Thus the obligation to support such groups of altar boys will always continue.  (Item 2, Vatican Communication on Female Altar Servers)

So, I guess you could say it was with some hesitance that girls were permitted to serve the altar. Here, you can see what I described as the “traditional” standpoint very clearly stated by the Congregation for Divine Worship as the most “noble” choice for parishes to follow. In fact, if you look at Canon 230’s wording (which the decision was based upon), the jump to allow girls to be servers was a great one. According to Canon 230:

§1.  Lay men who possess the age and qualifications by decree of the conference of bishops can be installed on a stable basis in the ministries of lector and acolyte in accord with the prescribed liturgical rite; the conferral of these ministries, however, does not confer on these lay men a right to obtain support or remuneration from the Church.

§2.  Lay persons can fulfill the function of lector during liturgical celebrations by temporary deputation; likewise, all lay persons can fulfill the functions of commentator or cantor or other functions, in accord with the norm of law.

§3.  When the necessity of the Church warrants it, and when ministers are lacking, lay persons, even if they are not lectors or acolytes, can also supply for certain of their offices, namely, to exercise the ministry of the word, to preside over liturgical prayers, to confer baptism, and to distribute Holy Communion in accord with the prescriptions of law.

The first provision of the Canon specifically mentions lay men in the role of acolyte. The second provision includes lay persons, which is taken to mean both men and women. However, the wording of the first provision – for lay men only – suggests that their role is installed on a stable basis where the second provision of the canon clearly states that a lay person’s function is merely temporary. Furthermore, this provision isn’t even inclusive of the acolyte or altar server role for lay persons to take on, which is why I suggest that the jump to allow female altar servers in the first place was a large undertaking for the Church.
In any case, I continued to serve Masses (including Sunday Masses, Holy Days of Obligation, Dedications, Weddings, and Funerals) through my senior year of high school. When I came home from college, I would often serve; the last time I served, in fact, was at the Feast of the Immaculate Conception in December 2008 (which was actually during the winter break of my first year of graduate school). During high school, I was often the lead altar server – I would train the younger servers, and they would serve their first few Masses with me in order to learn the ropes. I learned the proper way to light charcoal and use the thurible – things that would make my hardcore, traditional Catholic friends shudder at the thought, let alone the actual sight, of a GIRL doing it (but doing it RIGHT and doing it WITH REVERENCE).

I think that this may be where my key hang ups with the issue at hand are – I can see the arguments for both sides. Being a girl with slight feministic tendencies, I scream (on the inside) “RIGHT ON!” when a girl has the opportunity to serve Mass. But… I also have trepidations when she vests to take on her role, because it does seemingly open the door for her to think that she, too, can become a priest which is not okay.

Many progressive, liberal Catholics tend to think that the Church is backwards in the Tradition that only men can be ordained priests. It is my stance that these Catholics are wrong. I have always accepted this Tradition/Teaching without much thought because it’s what the Church taught. As I’ve gotten older, though, it has become imperative that I am able to defend my (and consequently, the Church’s) beliefs on various “touchy” subjects.

So – here is the situation. First, I’ll share a quote that I found when I first began to research my position on this issue.

“Much better and healthier for girls is to learn at an early age that their role in the Church — as in life — is different from that of boys and men, though equal in dignity. Just as men who are ordained bear a natural resemblance to Christ the priest, so all girls and women bear a natural resemblance to … the Blessed Virgin Mary — who was free from all sin and who has now been assumed, body and soul, into heaven, where she makes intercession for us ‘now and at the hour of our death.’ Women do not need ordination or even to be ‘altar girls’ in order to know, love, and serve God in this world and to be happy with him forever in the next!” (Adoremus Bulletin, The Question of Altar Girls Revisited)

I like this quote because it reminds us that it’s not about equality in dignity at all; it’s about the different roles in life we are called to take on. Men and boys are called to bear a resemblance to Christ Himself, while girls are called to resemble His Mother (and Our Mother), the Blessed Virgin Mary. There’s something about the FORM and the MATTER that matters here.

What do I mean by this? Well… it is not within a woman’s nature to be a priest because Christ is the ONE, true high priest. All other priests are brought into union with Him and brought into His priesthood. They are His ministers in place of Him. Therefore, how could a woman be a minister of Christ in the Sacramental way if they are not in the same form as Christ?

Additionally, Jesus only chose men to be a part of the 12 Apostles (all priests can trace their lineage back to one of the original 12 Apostles). Yes, He did only choose men. To me, that says that if Mary (Christ’s Mother), the BEST and HOLIEST person next to Christ Himself, wasn’t chosen to be an Apostle of Christ, then what makes women today think that they have something our Blessed Mother didn’t?
Admittedly, I believe that the Church doesn’t really do a good job of defining what a woman’s place is outside of being a good mother to her children and instilling the Gospel message to them. Women don’t really want to hear this though. There’s this lack of gratification with there seemingly not really being something comparable to the Priesthood for women. Women, historically, have been oppressed and put in their place. Yes, women should be good wives and mothers (which isn’t seen as very glamorous or dignified) while men should work to provide for the family. Women want equality — and THAT is why they want to be considered for the priesthood, since they think that there really is nothing that compares to it.

However, if you think about it, there is a role that is comparable. Think about it: Men naturally cannot have children. To some people, being a mother comes off as this huge burden. But in reality, being a mom is probably the best gift ever! (NOTE: I’m not a mother, but I cannot wait to be one!) Sure, women go through a lot in giving birth; but the love between a mother and her child; the bond is indescribably incredible and people don’t give it a lot, if any, credit. Maybe if we focused more on Mary as MOTHER of CHRIST (I mean, without her saying ‘Yes,’ the world would be ENTIRELY different…), maybe women wouldn’t be as up in arms with MOTHERHOOD, perhaps the greatest gift of all, as being the equal to PRIESTHOOD. Why else do we call priests… Father?

That’s just my two cents though…

Copyright 2010 Mary Catherine Kennedy

Editor’s Note: Today we welcome Mary Catherine Kennedy to our CatholicMom.com family of contributors.  A few months ago, I became acquainted with Mary Catherine and have been praying for her studies since that time.  As a graduate student, Mary Catherine is studying media and religion and is doing important work to examine the impact of media on the faith and the use of new technologies in evangelization.  We’re so happy to have Mary Catherine sharing her perspective.  Visit her at her blog, Isidore’s Digital Doorway.  Welcome Mary Catherine!  Lisa

Recently, I’ve taken on some new things in life that have required me to take leaps of faith. I’m teaching for the first time ever. Getting up and performing in front of a class of 24 college freshmen, feeling like someone’s going to find out that you sort of know what you’re talking about but aren’t 100% sure is definitely a nerve-wracking experience. Teaching those 24 freshmen when at 8AM is even more challenging, especially when you’re not a morning person! Confidence is a key ingredient to success here, but it all boils down to one thing: I just have to have a little faith in myself!

FAITH. It’s a simple word; it gets used a lot. Perhaps it’s even overused. But do we know the true meaning behind it?

According to Merriam-Webster, faith is “something that is believed especially with strong conviction.” Wikipedia says it’s “the confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.”

The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines faith on many levels. First of all, faith is a grace (a gift of God). The Catechism states that: “Before this faith can be exercised, man must have the grace of God to move and assist him; he must have the interior helps of the Holy Spirit, who moves the heart and converts it to God, who opens the eyes of the mind and ‘makes it easy for all to accept and believe the truth” (153).

Furthermore, faith is a certainty because it is founded in God and His word, which we know to be Truth. But it (that is, faith) seeks understanding because the believer “desires to know better the One in whom he has put his faith, and to understand better what He has revealed; a more penetrating knowledge will in turn call forth a greater faith, increasingly set afire by love” (Catechism, 158). As good Catholics, and actually as Christians in general, we seek to KNOW God intimately: We have so many questions about this life and God’s will because we have this deep desire for understanding of what is going on in our lives. In gaining knowledge, our faith only deepens because God is Truth… so faith is a certainty, even when we feel must uncertain about the paths we are choosing to take in life. Essentially, our ideas of faith as described in the Catechism can be summed up with this quote from St. Augustine: “I believe, in order to understand; and I understand, the better to believe.”

I could go and give more definitions about faith from other great saints and from important documents put forth by the Church. But, I think that to have a clear idea of what faith really is, you just have to live it. The definitions and descriptions from the Catechism are helpful, but I think lived and shared experience is what really rings true with most people today. So, in my own words, I think that to have faith in something means that you believe in that thing, whatever it is, wholeheartedly, even if you’re the only person who believes in it. This is perhaps the situation in which it is hardest to keep the faith (something my dad always tells me to do when we talk on the phone), because it’s easy to just jump on a bandwagon with everyone else. It’s not easy to go against the grain.

Christ points out in Matthew 18: 3-4 that “unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, he is the greater in the kingdom of heaven.” Here we can see that having the faith of a child is important – which makes knowing definitions like the ones I mentioned earlier fall pretty far down the list of priorities (though, it’s always good to know what we believe in …) Sadly, the innocence of today’s children is rapidly fading – children today are growing up faster than ever before. Our society has placed great value on things that aren’t as important as they are made out to be while values like Faith, Hope, and Charity are left out of the public sphere and are basically forgotten altogether. The expression “to have the faith of a child” is lost on many, because to have faith in something these days is seen very sparsely.

Recently, I had the opportunity to lead a discussion about faith with the high school youth group at our local parishes. The students first met in small groups to come up with their own definitions of faith. In our large group discussion, we came to the consensus that faith is essentially “believing without seeing.” When we talked about examples of faithful people, the staple/expected answers of priests, grandparents, and parents were mentioned right away because these people (many of them at least) were of a different generation, steeped in the traditions of the Church, thereby making them “old-school” and “hardcore” Catholics, according to the teens. It was funny to listen to the students, who are only about 10 years younger than me, describe these people as if they were somewhat foreign to their generation. But, that’s just further proof that to have faith in something these days is becoming less and less common.

So how do we restore this value – having faith in anything? Having faith in God, yourself, your family, what you’re doing in life? How is this brought back and made important again to the mainstream? I’m not sure I know the answer to that – but it desperately needs to be addressed, before we lose our faith entirely…

I urge you…what are your thoughts? How can we restore FAITH again?


Copyright 2010 Mary Catherine Kennedy