The idea that someone she knows could die was a tough concept for her to understand, so my husband and I have had to explain the concept that everyone will die.  Of course, my daughter started by thinking how sad it will be for Mommy and Daddy to die someday.  We explained that although it probably won’t be for a long time, we will eventually die, but that our true home is in heaven, not here on earth.  We reiterated to her that heaven is a happy place where we get to be with Jesus and we are reunited with our loved ones who have gone to heaven before us.

She went through a stage where she was extremely fearful.  She was worried every night that a tornado or fire or flood was going to hurt our house and family.  We did a couple of things to help her like explaining about smoke alarms and the safeguards in our house.  We also stopped watching the news because it seemed to feed her fears.  I explained to her that God is with her always.  No matter what situation she encounters, He will be with her to comfort her and help her.  We told her to whisper a prayer when she feels afraid.

During this time she also contemplated the idea of her own death.  She wondered what would happen if she died you like the little girl in the fire.  She said to me, ” I think if I died, Daddy would kill himself so that he could be with me in heaven.”  I had to do some quick thinking with that one!  I said, “Although Daddy and I would miss you terribly, we wouldn’t kill ourselves because that’s against God’s laws. Even when life is hard, we must allow ourselves to live out our natural lives.”  She understood this, but I’m glad she vocalized her thoughts so that we could deal with her concerns.

Even though this has been a trying time for my darling daughter, we have used it to bring home some important life lessons: everyone will die, God is there to calm your fears, and suicide is not ever an option.  As we continue the conversations with her, we pray that many more teachable moments will present themselves, and that we will have the insight of the Holy Spirit to address each issue with love and godly wisdom.


Copyright 2010 Pamela Kobierecki

I find a beautiful way to be encouraged is through reading the Psalms.  We see David’s honesty with God when he is at his low points.  Psalm 25:16,17 “Look upon me, have pity on me, for I am alone and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart; bring me out of my distress.”  We need to be open with God about what is in our hearts.  Don’t hide your troubles and fears from Him.  He doesn’t expect perfection.  When we are feeling discouraged, we need to cry out to Him and allow His Holy Spirit to comfort us.

Another wonderful thing about reading the Psalms is that they remind us of the greatness of our God.  Often when problems and tough situations burden us, we can’t see beyond them.  The scriptures remind us that God is big enough to help us with anything that this life can bring.  Psalm 24:1,2 “The earth is the Lord’s and all it holds, the world and all who live there. God founded it on the seas, established it over the rivers.”  The God who created all the universe is surely more than enough to help me.  He is able.

Read through the 23^rd Psalm, and you will see that God considers us His own and He desires to care for us.  The first line states, “The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I lack.”  Who better to be our Shepherd than the Lord our God?  If you think about that comparison, God the Shepherd, we the sheep, then you will start to see that you belong  to God and He will take care of you.  Put your trust in the Lord.  He cares for you.

Every person who walks this earth will go through difficulties and hardships.  While we pass through them we need to turn to God, not hide from Him.  Let’s use the Psalms to help us open our hearts honestly to the Lord, recognize His greatness, and embrace His love for us.

Copyright 2010 Pamela Kobierecki

Summertime chores need to have a place in the daily routine.  Kids need to feel like they are a part of the team.  Everyone’s help is needed to keep the house running smoothly.  Trust me, unless you want to raise a complete narcissist, kids need to have age appropriate responsibilities.  One of my friends turned me on to a great website www.myjobchart.com which parents can use to assign point values to chores and then plan out rewards that can be purchased for earned points.  One thing I really liked about using this system was that we changed TV and video game time into rewards to be earned, therefore, my kids automatically are spending less time in front of a screen.  Also, my own little twist is that kids only get points for doing a job if it’s done without complaining or nudging.  For example, the other night my little guys didn’t want to set the table and said, “Well, we don’t care that we won’t get the points.”  My reply was, “Well, now you still have to set the table, but you won’t receive points because you gave me a hard time about it.” Another hint to doing any type of rewards-based system is that parents have to be diligent to deliver on promised rewards or the kids will think your whole plan is bogus.  In other words, don’t promise a reward that will be too expensive or too time consuming for you to fulfill.  Everyone does their jobs, then everyone-including mom and dad- get to have some fun!

Another great idea for summer is to plan some fun activities.  My friend, Erika, is a high school principal and she always says, “It doesn’t matter what you do with your kids, just do something!”  You may think that you can’t afford to give you kids a great summer, but let me tell you, the best things in life are free. My husband, three kids and

I live in a second story, two bedroom apartment, but I manage to get them outside everyday. Check out the public playgrounds and parks in your area.  We’ve been to every park within a 30 minute drive of our apartment. We pack up our peanut butter sandwiches and some water and we are on our way!  My kids especially love the parks with creeks or splash parks. Getting them outside for a walk, a kickball game, a parade on their bikes, or a run through the sprinkler will give them exercise and fun. Did you ever notice how your kids behave better when they are given opportunities to run around and get their energy out? (as a teacher, this is a reason why I believe in recess!)  You may not do Disney this summer, but simple pleasures pay off big with children.

So, I wish you a wonderful summer vacation. One that includes some work and some play.  One that will create beautiful memories for you and your kids.  And one that makes you wish summer was longer-not shorter.


Copyright 2010 Pamela Kobierecki

You all can identify with a short grocery store trip.   First, I have to prepare. I gather up my menu for the week, list, money, diaper bag, car keys, and quarters for the gum ball machine.  Usually, both my guys in diapers choose to poop right before we step out the door, so I put down all my stuff, change two diapers, and then finally get them into the car.

Once we get to the store, we have to pick one of those giant carts that holds more than one child plus groceries. Usually we pick “the car cart.”  You know the one – looks like a car kids can drive, but it takes twice as much muscle power for me to push it. The wheels don’t turn correctly, so I have to use all my strength and my lamaze breathing techniques to go around every corner.  I never remember to bring one of those nifty, quilted, cart covers to keep my infant free from grocery germs.  (but I do see a lot of babies in those while I’m shopping-usually their moms’ only have one kid.)

Then the usual stuff that everybody goes through happens: kids begging for goofy stuff we’ll never use, like wine bottle stoppers and avocado holders!? Oh, wait, then the seven year old needs to use the bathroom – and “it IS an emergency, Mommy!” So, I park the car cart outside the grocery store lavatory, put my foot in the door to hold it open (cause I don’t want to take the boys out of the cart, but I don’t want her alone in the restroom) try to reach across to the toilet paper holder and weave her a hygienic seat cover out of one-ply generic toilet tissue…and the adventures go on.

It’s so funny, because people always make the same comment when we’re out, “looks like you’ve got your hands full!”  I always respond the same way, ” I had my hands empty for a lot of years, so now I’m happy to have them full!”  I promise you all, that no matter how crazy the grocery store trips get – that statement is always true. Maybe waiting for my darlings made me appreciate them all the more.

Around Mother’s Day I get very grateful.  Grateful for the noise, grateful for the chaos, grateful that God called me to this wonderful ministry of being a Mom.

Copyright 2010 Pamela Kobierecki

I want to make sure that I make it a priority to look them in the eye every night and actually converse with them.  I’ve got to plan my evening activities so that there’s time for stories on my lap before bed.  That’s the kind of home life I always dreamed of having and no one can make it happen but me.

The “light bulb” that turned on in my head about my family, also went on in my heart about my Christianity.  How often do I send up a “hi God” type of prayer while I go about all of my activity.  I know He’s with me, but I don’t really “look Him in the eye” (so to speak) and converse about how precious He truly is. God is always there wanting to spend time with me.  The variable is my attention to Him.  The only one who can change that is me.

Just having children, or just being a child of God, shouldn’t be enough for me.  I desire my relationships on earth to thrive, so I must pour myself into them. I want my relationship with my Heavenly Father to thrive, so I must pour myself out to Him and allow Him to pour His Spirit into me.


Copyright 2010 Pamela Kobierecki

Without lifting my head, I glanced around the small waiting room. The heat was on too high and we’d all been here a while.  Since it was the day after Christmas, there was no secretary working , so the ultrasound tech had to come out himself to call each patient for her turn.  He finally appeared at the window, seeming frazzled by the “standing room only” crowd.  Under his breath he muttered about everyone being sent at the same time. He called the first name and she approached the window.  Meanwhile several of the ladies started talking to each other about the urgency of the problem that had brought them here.  One had unexplained bleeding, another was pregnant with a bladder infection. All were getting restless and annoyed.  When the man finally called my name and asked me the date of my last period, I tried to say it as quietly as I could, but the whole waiting room could hear me.  “So, you’re pregnant,” he responded.  “Yes,” I whispered, “but I think I may have lost it.”  My husband and I walked back with the Tech and our fears were confirmed.  As he walked us out, the man told us he was sorry.  No one was complaining in the waiting room now.  It was quiet as we walked out the door.

Miscarriage is so emotionally painful.  My husband and I spent three days on the couch crying after that ultrasound appointment.  One of the hurts of  losing the baby was that the little infant person that was a part of my own body was gone.  Even though the miscarriage happened early in the pregnancy, it was still my little child.  Another hurt was the dreams we’d already imagined for our child.  The future that now won’t be. Soccer games, ballet class, first day of school-those dreams die too. There’s also the failure. Especially after trying so very hard to conceive a child, I struggled with the overwhelming fear that I would never become a mother.  Loss, despair and fear stopped us in our tracks.

Not knowing how to deal with a miscarriage made it even worse.  Medically, the doctors told us to take it in stride.  “Don’t worry, you’ll have another one.”  That statement was echoed by several well intentioned friends.  To us, the parents, we needed to grieve the child that was gone.  It was hard to do that because there was no funeral.  Talking to our wonderful friends, Angela and Mike, helped us greatly.  They had been through the experience and were able to share our pain. They didn’t downplay our loss or tell us to just forget about it. We had conceived a child and he died.  Every child deserves to be mourned when he dies.  One night I finally had to hash it out with God. I prayed and told Him all of my disappointment.  My heart finally found some peace as I told Him that I didn’t understand, but I did trust Him. Furthermore,  I was willing to entrust my child to His arms of love.

Having experienced a miscarriage, I would suggest a couple of things to help other mothers who loose a baby.  First of all, it’s ok to cry. Don’t try to deny that it happened or that it doesn’t matter. That was your baby and its natural for you to be sad.  Try to reach out to other Christian mothers who understand and can sympathize. Knowing that you and your husband aren’t alone in your pain makes it a little easier.  Finally, put your trust in Loving Father God.  He will not leave you.  In your time of pain, He is closer than a heartbeat.

Copyright 2010 Pamela Kobierecki