Immaculate Heart of Mary

While many are familiar with the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the images associated with it, the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary is lesser known. In 1638, St. John Eudes published his Devotion to the Most Pure Heart and Holy Name of Mary. St. John was a priest in France who spent his life preaching about the love of God and encouraging people to love Christ and Mary. The feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary was first celebrated in 1648, however it didn’t gain a huge following until almost two centuries later.

In 1839, our Blessed Mother appeared to St. Catherine Laboure and gave her the image of the Miraculous Medal, which features the images of both the hearts of Jesus and Mary. At Fatima in 1917, Mary told Lucia that she was to remain on Earth to help promote devotion to her Immaculate Heart and the children saw in front of our Blessed Mother a heart surrounded by thorns.

In 1942 during the ravages of World War II, Pope Pius XII dedicated the world to the Immaculate Heart of Mary and set the feast for August 22^nd. In 1969, Pope Paul VI moved the celebration of the Immaculate Heart of Mary to the day, Saturday, immediately after the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and moved the feast of the Queenship of Mary from May 31^st to August 22nd.

In 1984, Pope John Paul II renewed the consecration of the world to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. He repeated this in the year 2000, entrusting the world to Mary for the new millennium.

According to the Catholic News Agency, The main difference between the devotions to the hearts of Jesus and Mary is that the one concerned with Jesus emphasizes his divine heart as being full of love for mankind, but with this love for the most part being ignored or rejected, while devotion to Mary’s heart is essentially concerned with the love that her heart has for Jesus, for God.

Therefore, it is not an end in itself, so the love of her heart is meant to be a model for the way we should love God. The fact that her heart is immaculate, that is sinless, means that she is the only fully human person who is able to really love God in the way that he should be loved.

Honoring Mary’s Immaculate Heart is really just another way of honoring Mary as the person who was chosen to be the Mother of God, recognizing her extraordinary holiness and the immense love she bestowed on Jesus as his mother, the person who was called to share in and co-operate in his redemptive sufferings.

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

A little girl saves her pennies and buys what she believes is the most beautiful thing in the world: an imitation pearl necklace. She wears the dime-store accessory to school, during playtime, and even to bed. After having the necklace in her possession for some time, her father, who tucked her into bed gently and lovingly every night, began to ask her for the necklace. The little girl is confused. Why would her father want her to hand over her precious pearls? She responds by offering him her favorite doll. The next time he asks for the pearls, she offers her stuffed animals and various other toys that don’t mean nearly as much as those pearls that make her feel so beautiful and so grown up. Finally one night, realizing her father loves her and would never do anything to harm her, she hands him the pearls with tears in her eyes. In return, he reaches into his pocket and takes out a beautiful strand of genuine, shiny pearls.

Of course, the father in that story is our heavenly Father, who knows better than we do what is good for us. And we are the little girl, holding on tightly to what we know and love. In Luke 18:29-30, Jesus states, “No one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.” 

The vast majority of us will never be asked to give up our family to follow Christ, yet there are cases when this is so, when people are rejected by their families because of their faith and must continue on their faith journey alone. In smaller ways, though, we all are asked to hand over our families to Christ, to let go of our supposed “ownership” of them. Our spouses and children are given to us for a season of life, to love and care for, but each one ultimately belongs to God. Especially with a child, it can be so hard to realize and remember that he or she is God’s first and ours second. We need let go of our plans for that child, and trust in God’s plan for that child.

The same holds true in our own lives. How often we want to hold on to our own plans, and how often does God laugh! I wish I could tell you I’ve found the perfect recipe for letting go and letting God be in charge, but I haven’t. I offer my day to Him every morning, try to remember to say “Jesus, I trust in you” often, and remind myself that He is in charge of all those things I have no control over, and yet, I still struggle.

I’ve gotten somewhat better at accepting the everyday disturbances in my plans – not being able to go somewhere I had planned on because a child needs me, or getting stuck in traffic, or a change in an appointment, or having to wait in line for long periods of time, or missing key points of the Mass because I’m in the bathroom with a toddler – those kinds of things I just offer up and move on. But the big things, when God takes my plans and dreams and crushes them with a big giant fly swatter – oh, those I still am likely to cry over, big wracking sobs. It’s hard to trust that God knows best, that He has something better in mind – at least in light of eternity. Someday it will all be clear. In the meantime, I’m going to keep working on letting go and trusting God. And maybe, someday, I’ll actually be good at it.

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Prayer for Gifts of the Holy Spirit for Mothers

Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruits of the Holy Spirit. These include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control. It seems that as mothers, we can use an extra helping of each of these.

Dear Holy Spirit,

Please help me to love my children even when it is hard: when it is 2 a.m. and the baby is crying, or the two-year old is having a tantrum, when the six-year old is telling me he hates me, or when the teenager has just slammed the door for the 167th time.

Please help me to have joy in the little moments. Please help me to appreciate the smiles and fun that my children have, to rejoice in the small gifts that come my day amidst the hard work of parenting.

Please grant me the gift of peace, peace in my heart even when the whole world around me seems to be in turmoil. Help me extend that peace to my children so that they can grow up knowing that peace, not violence, is the answer.

Please help me to have patience, patience, and more patience. I can always use more! And when that supply is used up, please help me to find just a little bit extra.

Please help me to treat my children, and all those whom I meet, with kindness. Let my children know by my example that kindness can change the world.

Please help me to be good. My children’s eyes are always upon me, and my actions speak much louder than my words. Help me to be a good example to help them learn how to live.

Please grant me the gift of trustworthiness. Help me to be a person of my word, to say what I mean and mean what I say. Help me to honor my commitments and keep my children’s confidences.

Please help me to be gentle with my children’s hearts. Help me to remember what it was like to be a child. Help me to offer all the support and healing to them that I can.

Lastly, please assist me with my self-control. Help me to keep my desires and weaknesses in check. Help me to put my children first. Help me to be the best mom that I can be.

I ask this through the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

The Catholic Baby Name Book

Editor’s note: I’m thrilled to congratulate my friend Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur on the launch of her brand new book The Catholic Baby Name Book. With over 10,000 entries based upon the lives of saints and biblical figures, Patrice’s book is a true compendium! We’ll be providing full reviews of the book very soon, but please join me in congratulating our friend Patrice on this book, which is a part of our CatholicMom.com Imprint series with Ave Maria Press. LMH

One of my simple pleasures in life is reading Victoria magazine. The May/June 2013 issue features an article called “Destiny’s Detour.” The editors had asked readers to share stories of how their lives had turned out compared to what they thought life would hold for them when they graduated from high school or college.

Victoria is a secular magazine so God doesn’t play a major role in these stories, although Merrie Beth Scherff of Ohio did acknowledge that “I made my plans, but someone else directed my steps into so much more than I ever could have dreamed.” Those of us who live by faith can see God’s hands at work in the way our lives play out. Admittedly, this can often be seen only in hindsight.

Divine Detours

I graduated from college over fifteen years ago. As I sat there in my cap and gown with my newly minted degree in history and art, I was very excited about my future. I was headed to graduate school to study history and hoped to someday be a college professor. I thought that would be a great career that I could balance with being a mother which I also hoped someday to be. I spent that summer working in an art print and framing shop and dutifully making my way through the hefty pile of summer reading.

In August, I received a random call from the career services office at the college I had just graduated from. They had a part-time position in the Continuing Education office and were wondering if I might be interested in applying. To this day, I have no idea why they called me, but I did apply and got the job working evenings and weekends. Come September, I started my graduate program, only to decide within a couple days that it wasn’t for me. I decided to withdraw. That was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I felt like I had to explain and apologize to all the people who had supported me, but even though I had no long-term plan, I felt like I had made the right choice.

I worked two other part-time jobs in addition to the one at the college until April, when I was offered a full-time professional position. One of the benefits of being full-time was that I could go to graduate school at the college for free. I jumped at the opportunity. The school only had two graduate programs at the time – education and theology. I knew I didn’t want education, so I chose theology.

I always had a great interest in religion and the default choice proved to be a perfect fit. I had no plans for what I would do with the degree, but a Master’s Degree was always a plus working in higher education. If people asked what I would do with the degree, I would simply say it was for personal fulfillment. I ended up defending my Master’s thesis when I was eight months pregnant with my first child. It seemed that degree would be of little professional consequence, but was merely a personal accomplishment that I could be proud of.

Fast forward a few years. I now had two small children and was no longer working at the college. I was meeting with a spiritual director and struggling to find my place and purpose in the world. I wanted to know what God wanted from me. One night, I was putting away laundry when the thought came to me clear as anything – “You have a theology degree and you can write. Write.” It was one of the few times in my life that I’ve received a true calling from God.

I’ve spent almost a decade writing about faith. That degree I thought I would never use has become my life’s work. Hopefully, I’ve also helped some people along the way.

In the meantime, I started homeschooling, discovered I was raising a child with Aspergers, and became a foster-mother to two small children. None of these were anywhere on my radar when I was twenty-one. I often have said that “I plan and God laughs.” But looking back, I can see God’s hand in all of it and the ways that He prepared me for this life and helped shape the path. My life has definitely been full of divine detours.

Looking back over your life, where do you see God’s hand? What are some divine detours your life has taken? Please share your stories in the comments below.

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

The Christian Alphabet Book

The Christian Alphabet Book
By Tracy Sands
Suwanee, Georgia: Love the Dove Publishing, 2012

In 1999, Tracy Sands was inspired while listening to Christian music at a church event. With only a pen and the program she received at the door to work with, she began sketching quickly. The urge to create was so strong she “felt as though she would pop if she didn’t get the ideas out of her brain immediately.” Over the next nine months, she would revise those initial sketches and ultimately create The Christian Alphabet, a series of drawings of the letters of the alphabet filled with Christian symbolism designed to help teach children about the faith.

The Christian Alphabet Book is a new book to help share this alphabet with the world. Each letter of the alphabet is featured on a two-page spread. The right-hand page showcases a large image of the letter design along with a relevant scripture passage and an activity to find the symbols hidden in the letter. The left-hand page includes a lesson related to the letter and a prayer.

For example, the letter A shows a girl praying, holding a cross. “A is for Always. Always means all the time, never-ending, forever. God always loves us and is always with us.”

The tradition of illustrating letters is an ancient one. One need only think of the beautiful medieval illuminated manuscripts. Sands, who has a Master’s Degree in Art Education and is the mother of three young children, has put a modern take on this idea. Her art is simple and appealing and it is evident that a great deal of thought and imagination went into this project. In the back of the book, Sands has included a detailed listing explaining the symbols in each of the letters.

While this is a Christian alphabet and is intended for a wide audience, there is nothing in this book that is contrary to the Catholic faith and a Catholic priest helped advise Sands while creating the book.

The Christian Alphabet Book would be ideal for children ages four through eight, although other ages can certainly appreciate and learn from it as well. The associated website, www.ChristianAlphabet.com also features a Christian version of the alphabet song to help children learn the concepts included in this book.

Order The Christian Alphabet Book and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Blessed, Beautiful and Bodacious by Pat Gohn

Editor’s note: Today, we’re so happy to share another great review of the wonderful new book Blessed, Beautiful and Bodacious: Celebrating the Gift of Catholic Womanhood by our very own Pat Gohn. Over the next few weeks, we’ll be sharing more reviews of Pat’s book and celebrating this tremendous project’s launch with one of our most dedicated contributors. Enjoy Patrice’s review and don’t wait to add Pat’s book to your library… you’ll love it! LMH

Blessed, Beautiful and Bodacious: Celebrating the Gift of Catholic Womanhood
by Pat Gohn
Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 2013

Our present culture does not value and esteem womanhood very much. Catholic writer, speaker, and podcaster Pat Gohn is working to change that. With Blessed, Beautiful and Bodacious: Celebrating the Gift of Catholic Womanhood, Gohn “seeks to celebrate womanhood by exploring a woman’s dignity, gifts, and mission.”

As one might expect from the title, Gohn describes women as blessed, beautiful, and bodacious. “We are blessed that we have simply been called to be.” Baptism serves as a tattoo on our souls. We have been branded by God, “claimed as his own.” We are children of God with a loving Father who “always knows what’s best for his daughters.”

Our beauty is more than skin deep. It is centered on “four dynamic gifts” from God: receptivity, generosity, sensitivity, and maternity. Receptivity is “receiving another person for his own merits.” It is “saying yes to love.”  When we make that decision to love, we also live generously. “We may never know who might be ultimately blessed by our generosity. The ripple effects are often shielded from our sight. But God uses our generosity for good, to bear good fruit.” Sensitivity is also part of love. It involves seeing with one’s heart, to be able to help and serve others when and where they need it most. Maternity encompasses more than the physical ability to give birth. “All women are entrusted with the call to care for the people within their sphere of influence.” In this section, Gohn discusses the beauty and responsibilities of both physical and spiritual motherhood.

Bodacious refers to our reason for being on this earth, our individual mission given to us by God. A combination of bold and audacious, this gift invites us to embrace all that God made us to be.

Gohn writes in a very conversational style, sharing stories from her own experience in order to illustrate how God works in a person’s life. She tells of her romance with her husband, the challenges of parenting, the importance of friends, and her experience with cancer while still in her thirties.  She shares her fears and joys and how she developed a relationship with Mary, whom she holds up as a model of all that a Christian woman should be.

With a Master’s Degree in Theology and certificates in adult faith formation leadership and the theology of the body, Gohn brings much to the conversation of what it means to be a modern Catholic woman, a daughter of God. Blessed, Beautiful and Bodacious: Celebrating the Gift of Catholic Womanhood is wonderful reading for any woman who wants to embrace the gifts God gave her.

St. Therese of Lisieux by Andrea Maglio-Macullar

Andrea Maglio-Macullar is a Catholic artist whose religious art has appeared in many venues, including publications by Loyola Press and Our Sunday Visitor. Her art is bright, colorful, and eye-catching. Many of her pieces have a stained-glass quality to them which makes them very appealing.

Maglio-Macullar has been drawing since she was a young child. It was something she always loved, but it wasn’t until high school that she began a formal study of the subject and received an award for Excellence in Art. She then went on to study at Northeastern University, Montserrat College of Art, and the DeCordova Museum School.

A cradle-Catholic, faith has always been an important part of this artist’s life. While she has painted many subjects, for the past eight years she has focused on religious art. Maglio-Macullar states, “I found there was never so much joy at painting as to paint Jesus, Our Blessed Mother, The Saints  or stories from the Bible. This made me think of something my dad, an Ordained Permanent Deacon told me. He said that there was never so much heightened consolation as when he was doing God’s work. I could understand this.  I felt this way when I would paint Religious themes.”

A project that is especially close to her heart is a series she did on the mysteries of the rosary. She prays the rosary every day and was inspired to create images for all twenty mysteries over the course of several weeks. Our Sunday Visitor used these images in a booklet about the rosary for children.

She then began to think of other ways to use these images. She created a poster with them, and they were almost used in a game created by another individual. When that project fell through, she thought that she might use them for that purpose as well – as an educational tool to help children learn about the rosary. She and her sister collaborated on the project. “We created it as a board game, but then again found no one that would publish it for us. Then one day I was watching some of my nieces and nephews playing their little hand held video games and thought this would be a great way for children to learn about their faith.  So I looked for some time to find someone to make it into an electronic game for a reasonable price. That is how it became a game for iPad, iPhone and iPod, and is now available on cd for people to play on their pc.”

The “Blessed Mother Rosary Game” is available on iTunes. To order the cd of the game or to view other examples of Maglio-Macullar’s beautiful art, please visit her website at www.andsart.weebly.com.

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Homeschooling

There is an old adage in homeschooling that says not to make any life-altering educational decisions in February. This time of year is the homeschooler’s valley of tears. A little more than halfway through the school year, stuck in the house most of the time, feeling painfully inadequate to the task at hand, it is easy to look at the local school and say “Yes, that would be better.”

Overall, I have been very happy with our homeschool journey these past five years. In addition, because my children were in school at one point, I don’t suffer as much from the “what if” syndrome as much as some others who have not walked that road. I know that path was not better for us. None of this is to say that I don’t have my moments of panic, especially now that my children are in middle school.

One of the main concerns I’ve always had in homeschooling my children is that they have friends. I don’t feel they need to spend six hours a day with people their own age, but they do need friends. We all do.

One of the reasons I ended up sending my children to school in the first place was that my efforts to connect with the local homeschooling group were unsuccessful. God has His timing perfect, though, and two years later when He sent me a very direct message that I should be homeschooling, those doors opened wide and I met a fabulous group of women and children with whom to share our homeschool life. My children have been blessed with great friends and so have I.

But, now that my children are getting older, their friendships seem destined for change. One of their best friends will most likely be attending middle school in the fall. Another might be, but if not now, will definitely be going to high school in two years. The future of a third remains uncertain. I realize that this is the age where friendships do normally change. However, when one is in traditional school, going to a new school for middle or high school means finding a whole new pool of potential friends. In this case, the friends are leaving with none to take their place. This is what worries me.

Recently, a bright shiny packet from a local charter middle/high school came in the mail. I had to admit as I looked it over that it was appealing. Maybe this would be a better way – a necessary way. I had my children look over the information and suggested that maybe we should go to an open house. They thought that would be great. I put it on the calendar and then I lived with and prayed about that decision for a few days. I literally felt ill. While I have always entertained the possibility of sending the boys to high school if they wanted to go, the thought of sending them now – to middle school – made me very uneasy. I am convinced that homeschooling is a better way for us and for my children’s needs – not only educationally, but socially as well.

A couple days later, the boys were having a school vs. homeschool conversation with another of their friends, a young lady who goes to traditional school. She was extolling the virtues of public school. My younger son came in and asked me, “Mom, what do you think is better – regular school or homeschooling?” I suggested we make a list.

Because I wanted them to own this decision, I asked them to come up with what they felt were the plusses of each educational choice. For homeschooling, they said that the ability to chew gum was important (this acts as a stress reliever for them – it has truly been such a help), they like being able to choose what to eat for lunch, fewer hours of school, breaks between subjects, the ability to go places in the middle of the school day, some choice over what to study, fewer tests, not having to leave the house early in the morning, fewer after-school assignments, and no bullies. For school, they thought that they would have more friends, no little brothers or sisters around (homeschooling with a toddler can be a challenge!) and more chance to join clubs or groups. In the final analysis, they decided that homeschooling won beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I felt very much at peace with that decision and so did they. We will no doubt revisit it in a few years. My older son, who has Aspergers, has little desire to go to traditional school, but my younger son has said he’d like to do one year of high school “just to see what it is like.” But, for now, our homeschooling journey continues and I’m going to trust that God will somehow provide the friends that they need.

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Soup Should Be Seen, Not Heard

We live in a busy world that is changing at the speed of light. Yet, good manners never go out of style. Most of us parents emphasize the importance of please, thank you, and excuse me, and do our best to insure that our children are polite, but when it comes to the finer points of etiquette, many of us could use a kid-friendly guide to help the cause. Soup Should Be Seen, Not Heard by etiquette expert Beth Brainerd is that guide.

Originally published in 1990, it has been updated in a new edition for the 21^st century and recently received a Mom’s Choice Award. If you think your children would roll their eyes if you handed them a book on manners, think again. Soup Should Be Seen, Not Heard features charming illustrations and a great sense of humor that will have them laughing as they learn.

It offers advice children can actually use in their everyday lives, both today and as they grow into adults. This is a very useful book and both children and adults will appreciate the value of it. It offers the answers to questions such as how to set the table, introduce people, use the phone correctly (and when to turn a cell phone off), and what to wear to a party. Even as a well-mannered adult, I picked up some tips from reading this book. The overall message is to treat people well and with kindness, utilizing the golden rule. This is much more important than using the proper fork, although that information is included as well.

Soup Should Be Seen, Not Heard also comes with some free extras for parents and teachers. An online companion called Why? provides information that helps further explain the reasons behind what might appear to kids to be arbitrary rules, like passing the salt and pepper shakers together. It also offers additional helpful tips such as topics to start a conversation, cell-phone etiquette, why one needs to dress appropriately for an occasion, and rules for being polite in a public place.

A set of lesson plans, prepared in conjunction with professional educators, is available to teachers who wish to use this book in the classroom. It can be requested at http://www.goodideakids.com/foreducators/.

The world could certainly use more politeness and common courtesy. Teaching our children (and perhaps taking a refresher course ourselves) is a great place to start. Soup Should Be Seen, Not Heard will help you do just that.

Order Soup Should Be Seen, Not Heard and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase 

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Marquette Method of NFP

All methods of modern Natural Family Planning (NFP) rely on observation of changes in a woman’s body as it makes its way through the monthly menstrual cycle. These observations determine when sexual intercourse can/should take place – depending on whether one is trying to achieve or postpone pregnancy. Two of the primary signs are cervical fluids and basal body temperature. Commonly known formal methods include the Billings, Sympto-Thermal, and Creighton Methods. All of these methods rely on human observation and charting of one or more of these fertility signs.

The Marquette Method of NFP created by Marquette University Institute of Natural Family Planning makes use of modern technology in helping women determine their time of fertility. Use of the Clearblue Fertility Monitor can help take human error in charting out of the equation when using NFP.

The instruction manual for using the Marquette Method can be found online at http://nfp.marquette.edu/pdf/nfp_user_manual.pdf . This manual offers a basic introduction to NFP and the reasons to use it as a family planning tool, a review of the basics of human reproduction, and instructions on how to use the Clearblue Fertility Monitor. This monitor offers “fast, accurate, objective, and very clear information about fertility.” While the Clearblue monitor and LH test kits were originally designed to help women achieve a pregnancy, they can also be used to help avoid a pregnancy as well. The Marquette Method User Manual includes instructions for how to use the Clearblue Monitor to do just that. It is recommended that users consult with a trained NFP instructor for help in learning to chart and track one’s fertility.

Whereas most methods of NFP are free (there may be some cost associated with training and/or ongoing consultation with an NFP professional), this method requires the cost of the fertility monitor and the ongoing cost of testing strips. For many people, human observation works very well in determining fertility. However, one can understand how a positive confirmation of a fertile period would be very helpful for those who have difficulty determining when fertility is occurring. The additional cost may very well be a worthwhile investment.

For more information on the Marquette Method of Natural Family Planning, please visit http://nfp.marquette.edu/definition_nfp.php

Copyright 2013 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

My Sisters the Saints

My Sisters the Saints: A Spiritual Memoir
by Colleen Carroll Campbell
New York: Image Books, 2012

“Is this all there is?” Colleen Carroll Campbell found herself asking that universal question midway through college.  Every generation needs to discover the role of faith in their lives and to seek answers to the hard questions such as the meaning of life and the role of suffering. While human nature may remain fairly consistent, new realities and cultural influences require new synthesis. With My Sisters the Saints: A Spiritual Memoir, Campbell looks to the wisdom of the saints to help light the way for young and early-middle-aged women today.

Campbell, just shy of forty, has lived a life most of us can only dream of. She worked as a speechwriter for President George W. Bush, met Pope Benedict XVI, is a successful columnist, television personality and book writer, has traveled the world and married a doctor. Yet, she has also experience great pain as she struggled with being a woman in the modern-era. Many of her difficulties are ones that most women can relate to, such as trying to navigate college life, attempting to balance a personal and professional life, and determining when to get married and have children. Her most painful struggles are less common – facing her father’s twelve-year descent into dementia and her own diagnosis of infertility with the accompanying challenge of seeking treatment in keeping with Church teaching– but all can appreciate her pain. While the details may change, every life has its share of sorrow. Every person asks questions that lack easy answers.

Campbell shares fifteen years of her life with profound honesty. She shares her faults and failings, joys and sorrows. She was blessed with parents of great faith who proved to be a tremendous influence in her life. Their example looms large in this book. They introduced her to many of the saints who would become her companions on her spiritual journey and her quest to follow God. At various times, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Faustina, Blessed Mother Teresa, St. Edith Stein, and Mary, the mother of Jesus, each speak most loudly to her. Campbell deftly weaves brief biographies of each of these saints into her narrative while sharing what she found to be their most important lessons in living.

My Sisters the Saints: A Spiritual Memoir is for every Catholic woman who has ever struggled with what it means to be a modern Catholic woman. Campbell is a fellow imperfect woman doing her best to walk in God’s path.  One cannot help but be touched by Campbell’s honesty and the way God has worked in her life. The lessons that she learned from the saints are lessons that each one of us can also learn from. Her beautiful story has much to offer.

Order My Sisters the Saints: A Spiritual Memoir and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase

Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Why Fear is Not the Answer

I wasn’t going to write about Friday’s sad events, instead simply choosing to pray. My heart has been heavy, and I knew others would write about it with more eloquence. My words and thoughts weren’t necessarily needed. But then, I was drawn into the conversation and realized that there was indeed something I needed to say.

One of my volunteer positions at my parish is to process CORI (criminal background check) paperwork for anyone who volunteers with children. I also have to provide them with “Safe Environment” training – basically, recognizing the signs of child abuse and how to report such abuse. I had one of these meetings scheduled for Saturday morning.

As we were wrapping up, the older woman I was meeting with, who I have known as an acquaintance for many years, asked me, “You homeschool your children, right?” I affirmed that I did. She then said that her daughter was so upset about the school shooting that she was considering homeschooling her children, who are not yet school aged. I simply nodded politely and said that it wasn’t for everyone, but homeschooling had worked out well for us.

On a related note, later that day as I scanned Facebook, I saw several parents post how scared they were to bring their children to school on Monday.

I do understand this fear and I am happy to support anyone who is considering homeschooling, but the more I thought about it over the course of the weekend, the more I realized that a gut reaction to fear and withdraw from the world is not the answer. And, while those unfamiliar with us might think otherwise, homeschoolers are just as much a part of the world as everyone else. We don’t live an isolated existence.  Nor would we want to.

Yes, there is violence in the world. No matter how we might try, we cannot protect ourselves or our children from every evil that is out there.  We can take reasonable precautions (for example, I’m not inclined to go walking alone in my city neighborhood at night, nor would I allow my children to do so), but to live in fear means that the violence has won.

Our priest addressed the topic at the Children’s Mass this morning, asking the children what lessons they should learn from these tragic events. Sadly, some of the answers were “to trust no one.” Is that really the message we want our children to take away from this? Father corrected them, and said that, “No, that the lesson was that we needed to bring good into the world.” He went on to say that there were far more good people in the world than evil people and we couldn’t let evil win.

This is so true. The devil won a battle on Friday, but he did not, and will not, win the war. God is in charge. Good will prevail. We need to be on that side. If we give into fear and live our lives in isolation in order to avoid any possible instance of violence, then we have surrendered our trust in God and allowed evil to win.

Christmas is about the birth of Christ, the light of the world coming into the darkness. As Christians we are called to radiate that light as much as possible. Right now, the world seems very dark. It needs that light more than ever. Let us be that light.

Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur 

Who Do We Need to Make Room For in Our Inn?

Our pastor shared this story at Mass on Sunday:

As many parishes do at Christmas time, a parish in New York was having a pageant acting out the Nativity story. A little boy named Tom was taking part. He was mentally disabled, but was very excited to be in the pageant. He was playing an innkeeper and practiced his line over and over again until he had it down perfectly, “There is no room in the inn.”

The big night came and he was ready. When Mary and Joseph came up to him, he delivered his line just as he had practiced. Everything was going as planned, until the Holy Couple walked away from him sadly, at which point he called after them, “Wait! You can stay at my house.”

That little boy obviously had the spirit of hospitality alive and well within him. If he had been back in Bethlehem two thousand years ago, our Christmas story might have had a slightly different setting. But what about us, living today? Do we have that spirit of hospitality?

For some, it comes easily. Their door is always open. There is always enough food and one more is always welcome at the table. They have a special gift for making everyone feel welcome. I love those people and am so thankful for those that I know.

As an introvert, I’ve always struggled with hospitality. Quite honestly, people frequently stress me out, so inviting people into my home isn’t that easy. But as is often the case with our weaknesses, God has provided me with plenty of opportunities to practice it. And, I’m happy to report, I’m getting better. If only because it is such a weakness of mine, I make a concerted effort to be welcoming to anyone who wants to come to my home.

Sometimes it is easier to be open and welcoming with strangers, or those individuals we see rarely, than it is with family members. Sometimes, the people we need to be most hospitable with are the people who are closest to us. This can include those who live in our very own homes. This time of year, we are called in a special way to be hospitable, to open the doors of our homes and our hearts. We are called to make room. Will we welcome Jesus, disguised as members of our own families, into our own inns?

Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Growing Up in God’s Image

There is something about teaching one’s children about the facts of life that inspires fear in the hearts of parents everywhere. When that day came for my boys and me, I nervously searched my local library for an appropriate book (many I found were clearly not appropriate from a moral standpoint), sat down on the couch with the two of them, read, and answered questions as we went. I also did my best to include a moral component. I know it was only the first of many conversations and it was painful for all three of us, but at least it covered the basic biological aspects of procreation.

I wish I had a copy of the new book by Carolyn J. Smith at my disposal when I faced that initial conversation. Growing Up in God’s Image: What to Say and How to Say It includes all the information any Catholic parent will need to pass on a biologically informative, morally sound take on the changes of puberty and the beauty of sexual intercourse.

Smith has been married for forty-two years and is a mother of ten children and grandmother of fifteen. She created a Family Life curriculum at a private school in the Baltimore area and used Growing Up in God’s Image as a tool in her own parish to help guide parents through the discussion of the facts of life with their children.

Smith divides the text into three main sections, all focused on love: Spousal Love Reflects the Love of the Trinity, Spousal Love Reflects the Love of Christ for Each One of Us in the Eucharist, and Spousal Love is Sacramental Love. The book is rooted in Scripture. the Catechism, and Blessed Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. She emphasizes the self-giving nature of love, and the importance of co-creating with God in the conception of children. She also discusses modesty and the importance of caring for one’s body.

It includes all the necessary biological facts, including diagrams, as well as the very important spiritual aspects of marital relationships and intimacy. For older children, there is an additional section on “Thoughts to Consider” which delves into these topics on a deeper level. It also includes a subsection on dating, which offers much good advice, but which some modern parents might find a bit old-fashioned. For example, Smith suggests that only on very rare occasions should a girl ever call a boy. Parents and teens can certainly make decisions together regarding dating rules, but this guide offers a good start for the conversation.

Smith fully admits that she presents the ideal of human sexuality in this book. Like the Theology of the Body itself, it is a goal that very few of us every perfectly achieve. As she states, “We give our children God’s way, pure and untouched. Then, we teach our kids to strive to be their best, with God’s help!”

Growing Up in God’s Image should be in the parenting toolbox of every Catholic parent of tweens and teens to help guide those important and nerve-wracking conversations on human sexuality.

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Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

O Radiant Dawn: 5-Minute Prayers Around the Advent Wreath

O Radiant Dawn: 5-Minute Prayers Around the Advent Wreath
by Lisa Hendey
Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 2012

It’s hard to believe but Advent is right around the corner. Are you searching for a meaningful Advent practice to bring more faith and spiritual growth into this busiest of seasons? “O Radiant Dawn: 5-Minute Prayers Around the Advent Wreath” may be just what you are looking for.

Hendey, founder of CatholicMom.com and best-selling writer of The Handbook for Catholic Moms and A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms, offers a series of twenty-eight short reflections, one for each day of Advent. The title of the booklet comes from one of the “O Antiphons” of Advent: “O Radiant Dawn, splendor of eternal light, son of justice; come, shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death.” It is a reminder to reflect on the glory of God’s majesty, a majesty we often miss when we are preoccupied with ever-growing to-do lists.

She has designed the prayers to be used around the Advent wreath. As she writes, “The wreath’s simple circle of evergreens represents the never-ending promise of eternal life. Upon the wreath or in its middle we arrange four candles – three purple and one rose. The purple candles mark the solemn tone of the season and call us to wait patiently, eyes set on Christ. The rose candle marks our great joy as Christmas approaches.” While an Advent wreath is a beautiful symbol (with small children, my family uses a paper version), the prayers contained within this book can certainly be used without one.

The prayers and reflections can be used by individuals or by families. Each day offers a short gathering prayer, a relevant Scripture passage, a reflection and closing prayer. An added bonus is that Hendey offers a separate reflection for those with younger children. For those able and wishing to spend more than five minutes, the questions for reflection can offer much to ponder and perhaps journal about.

“O Radiant Dawn” is truly a great gift in a small package. It would be a perfect devotional to make available in large numbers to parish communities. Those who use it will find their Advent season to be greatly enhanced, with the emphasis placed first where it rightly belongs – on the coming of Christ.

Order O Radiant Dawn: 5-Minute Prayers Around the Advent Wreath and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase

Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Wrapped Up: God’s Ten Gifts for Women

Wrapped Up: God’s Ten Gifts for Women
by Teresa Tomeo and Cheryl Dickow
Cincinnati, OH: Servant Books, 2012

The title of Teresa Tomeo and Cheryl Dickow’s new book, “Wrapped Up”  refers to our being “wrapped up” in God’s love.  That can be a hard concept for us women to accept. After all, the world spends a lot of time telling us all the reasons why we are not lovable. God’s love for us is His greatest gift. Tomeo and Dickow are on a mission to challenge the message that the world has for women and replace that with the truth of what God is offering. “That [a woman] ought to be filled with God’s love simply because she is his creature tends to be a notion that doesn’t fit well with the ‘doer’ in her personality. But unless she receives, she cannot give.”

God offers us many wonderful gifts and blessings. Dickow and Tomeo have chosen to focus on the following ten:  love, forgiveness, allowing God to be God, a joyful attitude, suffering, letting go, sacramental life, sisters in faith, setting priorities, and the gift of ourselves. For each gift, the two writers each offer their own reflections, Timeless Truths, and Timeless Takeaways.

The writers willingly share the gift of themselves, including their own personal stories and various areas of expertise. Dickow shares the challenge of living with chronic illness, parenting and career ups and downs. Well-known for her knowledge of Scripture and Jewish traditions, she includes role models from Scripture and elements of the Jewish faith to enhance our understanding of God’s gifts and promises. Tomeo includes her own return to the Catholic faith, difficulties in her marriage, and her own career challenges in the world of media.

Dickow and Tomeo invite women to refocus their lives on Who matters and what matters. They speak the truth, and acknowledge that life is often hard. The chapter on suffering is particularly poignant. Not many of us consider suffering a gift, but as Tomeo rightly points out, “It’s not a matter of if you’re going to suffer but when. What matters is how you deal with it and what you do with it.” Suffering can be a gift if we consider the lessons it can teach.

The last gift the two writers discuss is “The Gift of You.” They emphasize that each one of us is an individual, created by God to fulfill a special purpose in this world. So many women suffer from poor self-image. Dickow and Tomeo encourage women to embrace all that women have been created to be. As Tomeo states, “There are no excuses. Rather, there is a grave consequence for playing it safe. Just because we don’t think we are attractive enough, thin enough, wealthy enough, or smart enough does not mean we have license to put off being the best we can be. It is an insult, especially to our Creator, because God doesn’t make junk.”

God has given us incredible gifts to help us on our journey through this life and to fulfill our individual mission. There is also a companion journal available which offers an opening prayer for each chapter, additional reflections, suggestions for Scripture readings, and discussion questions. “Wrapped Up” is an encouraging, thought-provoking book, perfect for individual enrichment or as part of a group study.

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Copyright 2o12 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Do We Expect Too Much from Parents Today?

The Wall Street Journal recently ran an article on The Perils of Texting While Parenting. The point it was trying to make was simple. Parents are spending too much time on their mobile devices and not enough time paying attention to their children. Also, while there is only anecdotal evidence, it is believed that this trend is contributing to an increase in child injuries. There has been a three year increase in the number of injuries after several years of declines.

While acknowledging that there could be other reasons for these increases, the article goes on to offer several very sad examples of children being badly injured while their parents were engaged in media use. At least one was charged with reckless endangerment in the second degree and risk of injury to a minor.

I definitely agree that in many cases parents should put away their electronic gadgets and pay attention to their children. However, I think that this article raises an even bigger issue. What does society expect of parents today? Adults of previous generations frequently speak fondly of having a very free childhood – whole days spent without parental supervision. While certainly not the ideal, many children of my own generation growing up in the 1980s were latch-key kids, left to fend for themselves after school. Compare this with today when parents are expected to provide 24/7 supervision.

There are those who advocate “free-range parenting,” a return to the largely unsupervised childhoods of yesterday, but they are in the minority. Instead, the majority of us do try to supervise our children as much as reasonably possible and are accused of being “helicopter parents” as a result. Yet, it seems even that level of supervision is not enough as far as society is concerned. If a child gets hurt in any way, it is automatically our fault. Someone must be to blame and that blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the parents.

It is virtually impossible for a parent to raise a child with the type of vigilance that society seems to expect, especially if a parent has more than one child. Even if one is not using an electronic device, who among us has not taken her eyes off a child for a minute or two to tend to another child, put a batch of laundry in the washing machine, start dinner, or to have a quick conversation with another mother at a park? In that minute or two, unfortunate things can and do happen.

Not to mention there are times when we simply can’t guard our child’s every move. I still remember the first time my older son rode his bike alone. I was near him, following behind, but all I could do was hold my breath and pray to his guardian angel to protect him. A great deal of parenting involves letting go and that means that we are not always able to keep our children safe, no matter how much we might like to.

There is no such thing as 100% safe parenting. Accidents do happen. Children do get hurt, sometimes badly. In those sad cases, parents live with the guilt of “what could I have done to stop it?” the rest of their lives. We as a society do not need to condemn them as well.

Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur 

A Life in Transition

Sometimes, for writers, it is the things that we can’t talk or write about that matter the most. I’ve been keeping a secret from the world at large for almost two years now and the time has come to share, if only because keeping it a secret has become too much of a burden.

There are times when God calls us to do something, and then there are times when He actually uses the telephone. On December 31, 2010 (yes, New Year’s Eve), we received a call asking us to take in two of my husband’s cousin’s children. At that time, the little boy was one and three-quarters and the baby girl was two weeks old. It was my own personal annunciation moment and I said “yes” without hesitation, although truth be told, I did not take another full breath for the next several months.

Those months were filled with social worker visits and an invasive home study which seemed to examine every aspect of our lives since birth. Meanwhile, we were busy with home remodeling, buying a minivan, and trying to get ready for a life none of us could imagine. In March, we started actually visiting with the children (we had never met them) to prepare for the transition and my wonderful homeschooling friends threw me a shower to help me replace the baby items I had long since given away.

The children moved in on April 29th, 2011. It was the same day Prince William and Kate got married – I will always remember their anniversary. We got up early (who could sleep?) and watched the royal wedding. Then, the children arrived and we began life as a family of six.

And I never said anything in these columns because I felt I couldn’t. We took them in as foster children with a plan to adopt. We were told it would take about six months. Eighteen months later, we are looking at another eighteen months (at least) of court proceedings and we still don’t know if they will be staying permanently or not. It is all in God’s hands.

However, as foster children, there is a confidentiality agreement. I can’t talk about them or post photos of them. But, at this point, I can’t keep pretending in my public life that they don’t exist, or that my life continues as it used to because it doesn’t. Life is forever changed.

Plus, life is about to change again. We got a call on Friday asking us to take in our two foster children’s older sister. She is 14 years old and is moving in on Friday. Like the others, I won’t be able to talk about her, but I am about to become a mother of five, and I have absolutely no idea how I am going to parent a teenage girl. I’m trying to trust that God will give me the grace to cope with this new bend in the road.

Once again, I am totally overwhelmed. My boys are overwhelmed. And, I am sure our new foster-daughter is probably overwhelmed as well. Usually, when a child enters your family, you have nine months to prepare. Two years ago, we had four months. This time, we have one week.

I still won’t be able to write about these three members of my family or aspects of my life that pertains to them. Please, just know that they exist and that we all could use lots of prayers. Thank you!

Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

40 Days for Life

The Scripture readings for this week remind us of the value of life. Psalm 54 emphasizes “The Lord upholds my life.” God is the author and provider of life. Without God, our heart would never pulse a single beat nor would we ever take a single breath. He alone has the right to choose when we come into this world and when we move on to the next world. That is why we must respect and defend life from conception until natural death.

In the Gospel (Mk 9:30-37), Jesus teaches “Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.” Each child is a gift from God, regardless of the circumstances of his or her conception. Each child has a God-given right to live.

It is fitting that we have these readings to reflect on as this year’s fall 40 Days for Life campaign begins this week. Running from September 26^th until November 4^th, 40 Days for Life is a focused pro-life effort that consists of 40 days of prayer and fasting, 40 days of peaceful vigil and 40 days of community outreach.

What can you do to help this effort? This fall, there are 316 individual campaigns taking place. To find one near you, please visit the 40 Days for Life website at http://www.40daysforlife.com. If you are interested, you can connect with your local campaign in order to take part in peaceful vigils and work to bear pro-life witness in your community.

Not all of us are able to become actively involved in the vigils, but two things each one of us can do to help this effort are to fast and pray. I personally tend to think of this campaign as a second Lent. In this case, instead of being focused on our own spiritual growth and repentance for sin, it is focused on offering up our sacrifice and prayers for a larger cause. We join our prayers and sacrifices with others in order to help bring about important change in our world.

It can be impossible to know the difference our prayers and efforts make in the world, but there have been tangible results from past 40 Days for Life campaigns. There have been ten campaigns since the movement began in 2007. During that time, 5,928 lives that have been spared from abortion (and those are just the ones we know about), 69 abortion workers have quit their jobs and walked away from the abortion industry  and 24 abortion facilities have completely shut down following local 40 Days for Life campaigns.

Being pro-life matters. Won’t you please consider how you can join with others during these 40 Days for Life in prayer, fasting, and vigil to help change hearts and save lives?

Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Seven from Heaven

Seven from Heaven: How the Sacraments Can Heal, Nurture, and Protect Your Family Today
by Elizabeth Ficocelli
Crossroad Publishing Company, 2012

Elizabeth Ficocelli, an adult convert to the Catholic faith, is a woman in love with the sacraments. That love shines forth in her latest book, Seven from Heaven: How the Sacraments Can Heal, Nurture, and Protect Your Family Today. She believes that teaching about the sacraments is “the perfect catechetical tool . . . to excite young people about their faith.”

While Seven from Heaven will help adults understand the sacraments more fully, Ficocelli’s intention is truly to help parents then educate their children about this aspect of our faith. By making the sacraments integral to one’s family life, the family will then be transformed.

As one might expect, Ficocelli focuses on each of the seven sacraments: Baptism, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Confirmation, Matrimony, Holy Orders, and The Anointing of the Sick.  She discusses the blessing of each sacrament and its important role in our lives. What makes Seven from Heaven truly valuable and unique are the ways Ficocelli suggests to make these sacraments come alive for children. Children, as much as adults, are prone to asking “What is in it for me?” When it comes to the sacraments, the answer is “everything!” It is a Catholic parent’s job to help their children understand the beauty and blessings of these gifts from God. With her practical suggestions, Ficocelli helps make that job much easier.

For example, when preparing a child for going to confession, she suggests having that child write a letter to Jesus about what he or she would like to talk to the priest about. The year a child will make First Communion is a wonderful time to have the whole family pray in a special way for that child. Praying to the Holy Spirit for the grace of His gifts is a means of making confirmation more tangible. A child can pray for his or her future spouse from a young age. A family can spiritually “adopt” a seminarian to pray for and write letters to in order to connect the family with the sacrament of Holy Orders. Helping to care for the sick and dying can underscore the importance of the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.

The sacraments are such wonderful gifts! Seven from Heaven will help foster or renew your enthusiasm for them. As Ficocelli states in the last chapter, “When we revitalize the family through God’s graces, we revitalize the Church and, in turn, the world!” Why would we ever want to miss that opportunity?

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Copyright 2012 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur