The church has given us some traditional practices to help us to do that.  They are prayer, almsgiving, service and acts of charity, self-sacrifices, and studying the scriptures or other Holy writings.  I came up with a simple way to keep us reminded the whole way through Lent.  It’s a simple poster to put on your refrigerator (or wherever) that lists these out as well as providing a way to mark off the 40 days of Lent.  I made this with the whole family in mind—children and parents of all ages.  Take a look and print it out. Encourage your family to try and do at least one of these practices daily during Lent—in addition to what they regularly do. I actually printed out a copy for each of my children to put in their rooms at their desks.  I even keep one at my desk.  If you do only one thing with your family during Lent—this could be the one thing that is not only easy to do, but could be very meaningful.

Please pass this on to your other family members and friends. It’s free!

http://smartmartha.com/Documents/pauseforLent.pdf

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Besides the usual Mary feast day activities (Mass, Rosary, etc.) that you can do, this feast comes with many opportunities for a real pilgrimage to a Lady of Lourdes Shrine. There are many shrines right here in America which are replicas of the Shrine in Lourdes, France.  You may not even have to travel far!

Pilgrimages can take less than an hour —which is especially helpful in the midst of our families’ busy schedules.  And they are suited to the whole family—children, teens, and adults.  Don’t let “I’m too busy for this,” be an excuse.  Take this time to spend with the family and more importantly, pray with the family.

To make it seem more like a pilgrimage, we often say a decade or 2 of the rosary coming and going in the car and say a couple decades when we are there. I’ve listed as many shrines of Our Lady of Lourdes that I could find on the Internet.  See if there is one near you.  http://smartmartha.com/ShrinesofOurLadyofLourdes.aspx

Here is one we recently visited in Maryland.

I know there are probably more then I found on this list.  If you know of one not listed, please let me know.  But even with this list, there still may not be one close enough.  Or perhaps, the weather this time of year is not quite suitable for a pilgrimage.  Whatever the case, we have also enjoyed making our own grotto to display in our home.  This is a great craft for pre-schoolers to pre-teens.  (And yes, even teens.)

Here is a link for step-by-step instructions with pictures.  http://smartmartha.com/LadyofLourdesGrottoCraft.aspx

To instill some interest in the family prior to your pilgrimage or to wrap the evening up, I suggest the classic movie: Song of Bernadette. 

There are also 2 newer movies called, Bernadette and the cartoon version called, Bernadette, Princess of Lourdes that can be watched with the family.

There is also a new DVD just out from Navis Pictures that tells this epic story with a cast of over 150 children. It looks really good, although I’ve only seen the trailer. http://www.navispictures.com/category_s/20.htm

The fact that there are so many movies and books about this story and saint tells us that this is a great story to share with our family.

St. Bernadette’s body was found to be incorruptible after 10 years when they went to remove her body.  It can still be seen today.  Here is a short Youtube of that along with some information about her life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5711hI04mw&feature=related

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Keeping this in mind, however, I do try to minimize the hectic-holiday buying, partying, and decorating spree; and to have a more focused and meaningful Advent. I want to remember where my desire is fulfilled.  I know that my family and I can get caught up in that holiday frenzy and lose everything that Advent can bring us.  Here are some steps that our family takes every year during this time to achieve that:

1) Follow the Church and use Advent as a preparation and penitential time. It is not the birthday party; it is the preparation for the birthday party.  Follow the guidelines and examples of the church.  The color for the season is purple—which means a time of repentance.  It is a little like Lent.  The church doesn’t ask us to fast and abstain during this time like we do in Lent, but we are to keep in mind that we are preparing for the beautiful celebration of Christ’s coming.  We should prepare our hearts.

Just like we don’t play the games or eat cake before the birthday party, so we should show some restraint during Advent.  As much as I am able, I try to postpone as many Christmas parties as I can during this time period.  (Nearly impossible when it depends on others, but I control the ones I can control.)  If we are going to see “Christmas Lights”, we wait until during the 12 days of Christmas, (and they are not nearly as busy then!)  We watch the Christmas specials, like Rudolph and Frosty, then.   We eat our Christmas cookies and other great Christmas foods then.  Have you noticed when your church puts out their Christmas decorations?  Can you dare wait until a few days before Christmas to put out yours?  Our new neighbors thought we were Jewish one year the weeks before Christmas because we had no Yuletide décor in our yard.  In our Baptist -Southern neighborhood, I know they all just assume that the Kisers are just too busy to get those decorations out and procrastinate every year until just a few days before.

Unlike Lent, during Advent our family tends to really celebrate those given feast days as ways to prepare us for Christ’s coming.  We learn from these saints; we honor Mary.  Some families may follow a more penitential/strict type of Advent. We control what we can control and try to use all the other Christmas activities as a means to prepare us for Christ’s coming, like if the grandparents have to show up before Christmas to deliver their gifts—what a blessing to have such generous grandparents who love us!

2) Keep it simple! Sweetheart!  You know it is the time of year when we have more activities, more programs, and more on our plate, despite our plans to try to reduce these Christmas activities.  This means that we just need to try to simplify in other ways.  Although I have a full calendar of Advent activities (which is posted on my webpage) I still simplify my schedule by postponing dentist appointments, making easier meals, suggesting that weekly or monthly meetings skip meeting in December, and foregoing any big time chores this month (like clean the carpet, clean out the attic, etc.).

3) Make a schedule, but know that everything is optional and interchangeable! You can see my schedule. www.SmartMartha.com/celebrationsadvent.aspx For me, if I don’t schedule it, I won’t do it.  I find that if I schedule something simple everyday, it really helps our family to remember that it is Advent.  The types of activities that I plan help us to remember what Advent is all about.  Use the church calendar and your family Advent traditions in your schedule and add some new or other activities around these.  I write these activities out on little pieces of paper and these make up our Advent Calendar.  Everyday, we flip over a picture and pull out one of the papers from the corresponding pocket.  (I use the same ones every year with a little bit of switching around and adding a couple of new ones.)

4) Plan a family confession night.  And I don’t mean that we are all going to confess to each other who left the sink on in the upstairs bathroom or who left the library book out on the patio to be rained upon.  I mean find a place in your schedule when you all can go to confession together.  Not everyone needs to see the priest for confession. That should be up to everyone’s own discretion.  But everyone needs to go to at least pray in the church. (If they don’t need confession, perhaps they should pray for us who do.) Afterwards, plan something fun together—like going out for pizza.

5) Tradition!  If you want these events to happen more easily, then begin to make these happen year after year.  Tradition cuts out the planning step all together.  And if you store the plans and “props” of the tradition, that makes it even easier.  Think about if you had never put up a Christmas tree, and you just started your first one this year.  You’d put time into planning when, where, who and how.  Then, you’d have to go find all the “props” to do it.   You think it takes awhile now when you do it, but compare that to if you’ve never done it before.  When you see my schedule it looks full, but luckily for me, I’ve done most of these activities before.  I know where my books are that I read on certain days. I know where my Advent wreath is.  I know how to make a piñata. I know to save the straw from my fall decorations for my manger.  I have my Jesse tree and ornaments ready to hang.  Some big advice: Don’t try to do it all your first year.  Take your time.  Add one thing new every year.  Remember, your children need your presence, not your presents. Activities, crafts, baked goods, etc. can never substitute for your full presence to your children.  I know I sometimes get so caught in the planning and carrying the activities out, that I forget the whole purpose behind them.  Don’t let that happen to you. They are a means to a relationship with your child, not a substitute for a relationship.

6) Use an Advent bin.  It took me a few years of scrambling through all of the Christmas decorations and through the house looking for what I needed for that day, before trying to simply store all my the Advent stuff together in one bin.  This is extremely helpful if you don’t get your Christmas decorations out at the beginning of Advent.  Shortly after Thanksgiving when I collect all of my fall decorations to store, I simply pull out my Advent bin, and I am ready to go.  No more digging.

7) Get all of your Christmas shopping done before Advent begins.  I know that this sounds crazy, but it will free you to concentrate on your other Advent activities.  It will keep you out of the stores and malls.  It will keep you off of the internet searching and searching for the best deals.  It is probably too late for this Advent, but keep this in mind for the next year.  Sure there are some great deals on Black Thursday and Friday, but I’ve found that I can get just as great of deals when I am keeping my eyes open in September and October.  Spend your Thanksgiving weekend walking in the woods and playing football with the kids, not in the hectic mall.  Throw all those shopping fliers away.  Remember our children need presence, not presents.  And if you don’t find them enough presents for under the tree, well, they probably are better off without them.

Final Suggestion:  Only buy very thoughtful presents and only buy when necessary.  I have a section in my Smart Martha’s Guide book about having fewer toys. I have many reasons spelled out there for reducing the amount of toys our kids have. Even adults need fewer toys.  Do what you can to help reduce the gift buying, especially among adults.  Be bold and direct if you have to, “We are trying to save up a little money this year, Sis.  Let’s not buy each other Christmas presents.”  I’m not saying we should be stingy.  If you’ve got the means then spread the cash to your postman or babysitter or children’s teachers, but don’t just buy stuff to spread it around.  Make cookies and other homemade goodies. We’ve all got too much stuff.  Shopping before Advent helps us to take the time to be more thoughtful with our gifts as well as not getting caught up in the shopping frenzy that happens when we are in stores and looking through ads and buying gifts that no one really needs.

I hope you have found this advice helpful, and that it will be the beginning of a meaningful Advent and an even more beautiful Christmas.

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

Since St. Martin’s feast day falls before Advent, it has traditionally been seen as an end of harvest-type festival, before the penitential season of Advent begins. It was sort of like our Thanksgiving. St. Martin was also said to bring in winter. For us today, since we have a Thanksgiving coming around the corner, we can remember and celebrate St. Martin as Patron of Soldiers on this Veteran day and to remember his generosity. He truly was thinking of Christ when he gave his cloak to the poor man.

Something to Do:

Take part in a Veterans Day activity. Thank our Veterans for their service. And most especially pray for Godly decisions to be made by those who serve in the military now. Go to PaperDali.com and download a picture of St. Martin of Tours to color.

Something to Pray:

St. Martin of Tours Prayer for Our Soldiers

St. Martin, you were first a soldier like your father. Converted to the Church, you became a soldier of Christ, a priest and then a Bishop of Tours. Lover of the poor, and model for pagans and Christians alike, protect our soldiers at all times. Make them strong, just, and charitable, always aiming at establishing peace on earth. Amen.

Find additional activities to live out the liturgical calendar with your family during November here.

Order Tami Kiser’s Smart Martha’s Catholic Guide for Busy Moms and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

In the remaining days of this month, let’s see what we can do to say this beautiful prayer more faithfully and fervently. Besides actually setting time aside during our day to say the Rosary, we can also add this prayer to other times in our day. Do you nurse a baby? Use this time to say the Rosary. Do you have short or long commutes? Do you have carpool lines? Say a decade or two. (The more the “Maryier.” Excuse the pun!) The promises for those who say the Rosary are “out of this world!” (Still another pun!) I look forward to the fulfillment of those promises for my loved ones and myself, but I also experience the peace that saying the Rosary gives me now, today.

With my family, we try to always say it on Sunday evenings. Sometimes this gets stale, and everyone seems sleepy or daydreaming. When this happens, we try to talk a little more about each mystery before the decade is prayed. Question your children: “What does this mystery mean to you?” You will be surprised at what your kids can come up with. Pictures can also help keep the mystery in focus. I have a Rosary coloring book that I let the youngest one color while we pray. Have you ever tried watching a video or listening to a CD on the Rosary while you pray? There are few to purchase and some online. We like this one from Youtube: http://youtu.be/D8vSUkXS2Sk

“Too busy to pray? Then you are too busy not to pray.”

It really is a paradox. Put it all in Mary’s hands and you will find your help.

Our Lady of the Rosary.
Pray for us.
Mary of Bethany.
Pray for us.
Martha of Bethany.
Really pray for us

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

I want more for them than just video games. I want them to experience all that real life has to offer.

I want more for them than living vicariously or dreaming for the shallow and unchaste relationships presented in some magazines, TV shows, and movies.  I want them to develop healthy and respectful relationships with members of the opposite sex in real life fun settings.

I want more for them than just Facebook friends; I want them to have face-to-face relationships with other teens who they can truly care about and be truly cared for.

I want more for them than just the latest clothes or stylish haircut; I want them to learn the value of true beauty and acceptance not based on their looks or ability to buy the latest items.

I want more for them than just their own car, either new or used; I want them to learn the value of the dollar and the hard work and responsibility required before owning a vehicle.

I want more for them than just an Iphone or other handheld device; I want them to have some safety from the Internet and from addictive games.  I want my children to know how to handle boredom.

I want more for them than just an Ipod or mp3; I want them to engage in conversations with those around them, particularly those of another generation. I also want them to experience silence.

I want more for them than fast food, soda, and junk food; I want them to taste real food  and appreciate the work and time it takes to have real food.  I also would like them to enter adulthood feeling healthy without sickness and lively without caffeine.

I want more for them than getting everything they want now—new soccer cleats, new bike, latest video game, new CD; I want them to learn patience and a truer appreciation that comes from earning these things, preferably over time. Getting everything you want curiously leads to discontentment.

I want more for them than watching hours of TV and movies; I want them to have a true sense of reality that often gets lost in many, many TV shows and movies. Better to have a select few to watch and take the time to judge what message is presented.  I also want them to have more time to read good books.

These are some of the things I want my teens to have more of so that they can experience a fuller and more meaningful life.  It means that they will have less or sometimes none of the others.   I know that they do need to learn how to handle these “distractions.” The trouble with these distractions is that they are all too easily available when we have free time, like summers! When challenged and taught to judge these distractions, our teens can choose to spend their free time wisely, keeping these “distractions” to a minimum.  However, our teens need to be taught how to judge.  Parenting by keeping the kids constantly busy or parenting by keeping a hands off approach will not achieve this.  Parents and teens need dialog that goes along with all of the no’s.

That is why many of these items are not forbidden in our home, but limited and judged together.  But like many of today’s parents, I often let my children give into many of these distractions while I myself am busy with my own.  Good parenting takes time. This manifesto is a reminder to me to hold fast and to keep in sight what I really want for my children.  It may seem counter-cultural at times or swimming against the stream to live with such limitations on our children today, but the “more” that is promised is definitely worth it.  The time taken for our children to judge and learn the benefits of limits on these “distractions” will be rewarded exponentially as our children enter into adulthood not only more disciplined, but already experiencing the “more” life has to offer.

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

What I am proposing this summer for myself and for anyone who wants to join me is the “¼ challenge.”  I am literally going to get rid of ¼ of all of the stuff in my home.  This is going to be tough, but I’ve started already, and I’m pleased with the results. (Please check out my webpage to see some of my ¼ clean-outs. http://smartmartha.com/firstmonthlytip.aspx )

This may seem like a lot of “Martha” business over the summer, but this little bit of anxiety about getting rid of our stuff can make it easier for us to have that “Mary” time to spend with our Lord, our families, and our friends. When I have less stuff cluttering my life, I feel like I can pay more attention to people, to God, and to the moments God has given me.

To me, having some clear spaces serves as a visual reminder to look past the stuff and to what God is asking me to see. Not only does less stuff make less work for me so that I do have more time for God (like instead of having more dusting to do or more time spent searching for something), but even the physical presence of less stuff frees me up emotionally to focus more on Jesus and not feel “bogged” down in all of my mess. I know we didn’t all take vows of poverty when we became housewives, but there is something to the simple life of monks and nuns who don’t spend so much time shuffling their possessions so that they can devote more of their time to serving their Lord.
And yes, I do know that God is in the housework, too. We can find him when we are dumping out our drawers to declutter. We can find him and talk to him when we dust.

Let’s pray to God in our ¼ challenge clean-out for wisdom and perseverance. Let’s pray that in our “lighter” house that we would see him more.

Sts. Martha and Mary of Bethany, pray for us

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

I’ve tried to take the best of both approaches—Do good penance during Lent and lose some extra pounds.  But unfortunately for me, sometimes the vision of losing weight gets in the way of the other.

This year, I am trying a different form of penance.  Eating. Not just eating randomly whenever and whatever I want, but keeping my eating to just during mealtimes (in other words, no snacking) and to prepare and sit down to a complete dinner with my family (meats, sides, veggies, fruit—but no dessert) on most nights.  My desire to snack still keeps me on my toes to desire Christ.  But perhaps the biggest penance is planning, prepping, and serving the dinner even when I’m tired, or don’t feel like it, or in the midst of a hectic schedule.

Often times in Lent I hear priests encouraging us to “give something” for Lent instead of “giving up something.”  Taking care of my family in this way is great way to give myself to them.  I’m trying to go the extra mile by serving better, healthier foods.  I’m making more from scratch and using fresh foods.

And the results?  I may not be losing any weight, but so far the results of sitting down with my family at dinner on a regular basis have been wonderful.  I’ve even heard a few appreciative remarks for the tasty meal.  Since it’s Lent, we have a daily conversation of how our Lent is going.  (My kids still give up a favorite food and/or activity.)  We also talk about some of the Lenten observances that we did together as a family—we took part in praying at an abortion clinic one day.  And we talk about what we would like to do—we would like to go to confession this week.  We still have the seemingly superfluous conversations about superheroes and video games, but this week we also discussed the disaster in Japan and a neighborhood arrest.  We’re helping our children learn to judge these events and their own lives by means of these simple conversations.

It’s no wonder many recent surveys have come out about the benefits of eating dinner together.  Fellowship and food can only lead to great things.  They are, after all, an integral part of our worship service, the Mass.

I will try to continue with the dinners after Lent, of course.  But Lent always comes at a time when I need some kind of boost.  And the boost I needed this year was to eat!  To eat with the family and spend time with them.

For anyone in the Western Carolinas:  I am taking part in a Women’s Conference solely about dinner.  It is called, “Dinner’s On.” There will be many tips given to help get “dinner on” the table as well a reflection, Mass, a cooking demo and a catered lunch.  It is on March 26 in Greenville, SC. For more info: www.SmartMartha.com/dinnerson.aspx

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

I think as mothers who read columns like these or even when we converse with other moms we need to be careful about comparing ourselves.  We look at these “Super Moms” and wonder how they do it all.  These kinds of comparisons are not helpful.  God has given each of us our own balls to juggle.  Some of us may have many balls that we are juggling and making it look like a breeze.  There may be some of us who are struggling to juggle just 2 items. Is this because we are weak parents, poor jugglers? No. On closer inspection, we see that those 2 items just happen to be a chainsaw and a bowling ball!

See, we can’t really compare ourselves to one another. Circumstances, temperaments, and family history of ourselves, our spouses, and our children are all factors in what and how we are juggling.

In other words, God has given us each our own juggling act. We can’t look at others to see what they are juggling.  We need to only to be concerned about our own juggling.  Are you happy with what you are juggling?  Are you juggling too much?  Many women will fall into this trap.  We keep adding things to our juggling and soon find ourselves tired, stressed, and really not juggling well.  A good juggler knows her limitations.  A good mother prays to God to guide her decisions.

More is not always better. Would you rather be the juggler who is calm, relaxed, and enjoying herself while she juggles, or the juggler who is sweating, nervous, and worrying about making the next catch.

Which brings me to a final point—and yes this one is really about juggling (or is it?) Professional jugglers say that to keep all the items going, they can’t look at their own their hands while juggling, instead, they must always look up!

For more Smart Martha Advice about juggling all your mom duties consider reading Smart Martha’s Catholic Guide for Busy Moms or visit my webpage www.SmartMartha.com.

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

Editor’s Note:  Be sure to check out Tami’s great Smart Martha website to purchase the “Kids Can Clean: The Bathroom” DVD.  LMH

Since we started a New Year, I am sure that many of you began focusing on organizing, cleaning, uncluttering, or simplifying in this new year.  Even if you haven’t formally declared any of these in a New Year’s Resolution, I am sure the thought has passed your mind that, “Hey, I really need to organize, clean, unclutter, or simplify SOMETHING.” This is why plastic bins are all on sale at Walmart!

Some of you were brave enough to declare some real New Year’s Resolutions. Was it to start a diet?  Get the kids to help out more?   Work on the virtues of temperance and fortitude?  What?  I say this last one in jest because I’ve never heard anyone actually state a resolution as nonspecific as this.  For me, though, it seems that keeping most resolutions requires the good, old-fashioned virtues of temperance and fortitude.  This is why we all struggle with keeping New Year’s Resolutions—because they usually depend on practicing virtue and not just following some list.  And since these virtues are acquired with grace and prayer and practice, just making a resolution in and of itself doesn’t cut it for very long.

Perhaps a Catholic way to approach New Year’s Resolutions is to use a few resolutions to not only improve ourselves or our families, but to actually help us work on our virtues.  We can connect a simple resolution with the virtue that we can work on while trying to keep that resolution.

So for example, I would like to lose 10 lbs in the next few months.  This requires a lot of temperance on my part.  I always have to have dessert and usually seconds.  For me, I am going to limit dessert to just once a day and have it in a smaller quantity.    This will help me with the virtue of temperance.  Remember virtues are like muscles.  The more we work them, the stronger they become.

The other resolution I set is to do the chore thing better with the kids.  I need to do a better job instructing my kids in what chores they need to do, showing them how to do them, and following through to make sure they’ve gotten them finished.  A resolution like this requires fortitude. I’m usually too lazy to follow through after the kids were supposed to have done a chore.  Sometimes I’m even too lazy to ask them to even do a chore—I don’t want to put up with the hassle of them complaining about doing it.  This is the perfect opportunity to work on fortitude. I must keep on going even when I’m tired and don’t feel like it.  I have to make the effort to walk upstairs and peek in the boy’s bathroom to see if Joseph finished cleaning.  I may also have to ask one of the older boys to sweep off the back patio even though I know I’m going to hear a hundred reasons why it really doesn’t need it or asked why another brother doesn’t have to do it.  This is the nature of most children.  Unfortunately, when mothers and fathers lack fortitude and become weary and tolerant of these ways, the children learn to keep wearing the parents down.  Have you felt worn down?  Think fortitude!  I can keep going, and I can keep my kids going!  Keep working that “fortitude muscle” in yourself and in your children.

Of course, I’m always up for a choose-the-better-part-and-be-like-Mary resolution to start the New Year. This will be something like adding an extra prayer time, reading something spirtitual, or attending Mass more often. Usually I’ll stick with this for about a month and then, thank God, Lent comes around, and I will start it again!  And the second time around I usually can manage doing it for the whole forty days of Lent.  I am trying something simple this year that hopefully I can keep doing.  I am starting my day with a perpetual novena prayer to St. Therese to ask her help to live her “little way” as I go about my busy activities.

Do you have New Year’s Resolutions that you have set for yourself?

What virtues will need to be exercised to help you keep them?  Is there a “Mary” resolution that you’d like to become a regular part of your day or week?

Even though Jan 1^st is past, it’s not too late to think about setting a couple of resolutions for yourself—if the whole year seems to much to ask, then just make one for today.

Sts. Mary and Martha of Bethany, pray for us!

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

Editor’s Note: Tami Kiser has graciously offered two copies of her amazing new book Smart Martha’s Catholic Guide for Busy Moms as a gift for our readers!  Tami’s book gives moms practical solutions for managing their homes but more importantly for nurturing their souls and familial relationships. From prioritizing family dinners to organizing your home and schedule, Tami offers the tools we need to help ourselves and their families live happier, holier lives.  To enter to win a copy of this wonderful book, simply leave a comment below and tell us something special you’re doing this Advent in your home, or why you need Tami’s book.  Two winners will be randomly drawn on Sunday, December 19 at Midnight PT.

“There is need of only one thing.” Luke 10:42

Do you really want Advent to be special for your family? Do you desire to do the “right” activities?  Are you anxious about getting everything done?  Yes. Yes. And yes.  I sometimes stress myself out by trying to do all of “the best things” for my family—especially during the holidays.  I want to decorate like Martha Stewart.  I want to cook like Julia Child.  I want to make crafts with my children worthy the pages of Family Fun magazine.  And, I want to have prayer and worship time with my children like Kimberly Hahn.

When I began writing this monthly reminder before the beginning of Advent, I was at the peak of all this stress.  While I was thinking of all the “Smart Martha” things to share with you to do when beginning Advent, I began to feel the pressure of actually doing those things myself.  Nothing is worse than an advice columnist who just writes about how to live without really living that way. I promise to always tell you like it is, even if it isn’t pretty.

If you remember the weekend right before Advent began, you will recall that it fell in the midst of another holiday weekend—Thanksgiving.  And, oh yes, I had a houseful. I was doing my best to remain a cheerful, attentive Mary in the midst of all my Martha dishes.

It was at one particularly stressed filled evening that I “complained” to God about the stress I felt and how overwhelmed I was by everything I wanted to accomplish.  I prayed, “Please, God, show me what I should be doing.  I want to live this Advent with a joyful hope of seeing you.  What do I need to do?”  I began to think about Mary and Martha.  I thought of Jesus’ words to Martha.  “There is need of only one thing.”

What?  I only had to do “one” thing?  What about the Jesse Tree, the Advent Wreath, the Giving Tree at the parish, the dozens of cookies for the Christmas concert, filling the shoes on St. Nick’s day, decorating the church, finishing my Christmas shopping, the Christmas cards . . . etc.etc.

“There is need of only one thing. . .”

What is that one thing? That one thing is to seek Christ.

Can I seek Christ doing a Jesse Tree, baking cookies, or wrapping Christmas presents?  You bet.  But only if I am truly seeking Christ in these activities.  Being a busy, anxious mom going through the motions of advent activities is just that, a busy, anxious mom going through the motions of advent activities. And you better believe that your kids and spouse can spot this. Less can truly be more when done with Jesus.

My Smart Martha Advice to you for this Advent season is this: “There is need of only one thing.”   When you feel “anxious and stressed” about many things, remember this:  Look for Christ.

I followed this advice, gave up my Advent plans and activities (including postponing this newsletter) and started simply with just an Advent Wreath.  I love this visual reminder in the center of our home.  It reminded me of my need for only one thing:  “Am I looking for Christ during this Advent season, like the shepherds, like the Wise men, and like Mary?”

Of course, as the days went on, Thanksgiving passed, and guests left. I had a little more time to plan and to put out a few of those other reminders of our need to look for Christ.  I put up the Jesse tree.  I found some short, but meaningful meditations to do every evening night after dinner.  I even began plans to celebrate some of the December saints, like St. Nicholas. But this time, so far, the activities have been so much more than just “activities,” because I”ve been more aware that only one true thing is needed, Jesus, Himself.  The activities have become a means to live out this Advent message of seeking Christ with my family.  In the past, I usually got so caught up in carrying out the activities themselves that I forgot why I was doing them.

If you find yourself feeling stressed about getting all of your Advent and Christmas activities done—think “there is need of only one,” and if necessary, stop all of the activities.  Don’t be a Martha who busied herself around her house instead of doing just that one thing that her sister, Mary, was doing.  If you can’t find Christ in the activities, then ask yourself,  “Are these worth doing?”

We just lit the 2^nd candle on the Advent wreath, and so far I have not been anxious or stressed out.  Our meditations as a family have been meaningful.  We’ve just put Abraham on the Jesse Tree and discussed a little more salvation history.  Maybe someone can send this newsletter back to me in a few weeks as a reminder of my message for I’m bound to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season again!

St. Mary and Martha, pray for us!

Link this to the rest of my Advent Newsletter at www.smartmartha.com/adventnewsletter.aspx

Don’t forget to leave a comment below to be entered to win your copy of Smart Martha’s Catholic Guide for Busy Moms

Update:  Congratulations to our contest winners Kristen J and MajellaMom.  Both have been notified by email and will receive their books soon.  Be on the lookout for another contest later this week and more chances to win!

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

Editor’s Note:

Can You Hear the Bells?

I was so nervous during Mass the first time my boys took their turn as altar servers.  I thought they’d forget something, or worse yet, drop something.  We’ve had a few “moments” since their premier over five years ago, including bumping into a mic and “yikes” dropping the lid of the ciborum, (which Father placed on the wrong vessel.)  I always tell them that my favorite part of their serving is when they get to ring the bells to announce that “Jesus is here!”  I remember pointing this out to them when they were wiggly toddlers, “Listen. Do you hear the bells?  That means that Jesus is here.”

If only I could have those bells ring out during my busy day, because “Jesus is here,” too. He is here in the faces of my children.  He is here in my phone conversation with my friend.  He is here in the cashier in the grocery store check-out line.  And yes, he is here in my dishes.

As part of my Smart Martha Ministry, I encourage women to look for Jesus in the midst of their busy lives.  And no, I am not even close to doing this all of the time myself.  I, too often, am like Martha who finds herself “busy and anxious” with my everyday duties.  But I want to live my life more like Mary and try to help others by sharing my struggles and successes.

Bells would come in handy in my struggle of finding Jesus throughout my day.  I’m in the midst of paying bills and answering emails and an excited ten year old is trying to show me a picture. (Ring!) I look the ten year old in the eyes and ask about his artwork.  Or, I’m vacuuming the living room floor wondering how all those leaves got in here (Ring!) I remember to say a prayer for my husband in a tough situation at work while continuing to clean. Or, I’m waiting in the dentist office for my child about to pick up a magazine. (Ring!) I am drawn to listen to a worried mom in the waiting room tell me about her troubled teen instead. Or, I have to get back to paying bills and balancing the budget (Ring!) I offer the work to God and ask for His wisdom and perseverance in this task and then, I get right to it.

Unfortunately we don’t have bells to remind us.  We have to rely on grace.  With God’s grace we will have those ringing bell moments, moments when we will seek Jesus.  And how do we get this grace?  We beg and pray and frequent the sacraments.  And what joy it is to live life knowing that “Jesus is here!”

To read the rest of my Smart Martha’s Brief, but Helpful November Newsletter click here. http://smartmartha.com/ThisMonthsNewsletter.aspx

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

ditor’s Note:

One aspect of my Smart Martha ministry is to remind all of us to be more like Mary by making sure we are looking for Jesus. Even if it seems like we are doing “Martha” work, like washing dishes, we can still find Jesus there.  How can we do this?

First of all, we can offer our work to Jesus.  We can do this in the general form of a morning offering when we wake up.  We can also do it as a prayer as we are beginning a tiresome job, or during the job, or even when we are through.  We can offer that particular task for a prayer intention that we have or for someone else’s intentions.  We can always do it for souls in purgatory.  So, offering our work is one way we can find Jesus in our work.

A second way is to simply pray and talk to Jesus as we work.  We can tell him about our concerns for our children as we fold their shirts.  We can talk to him about our husband’s job situation as we pick up his socks.  We can share our own needs and desires as we mop our floors.  We can pray a rosary as we rock a fussy baby back to sleep. This is what is meant when the Bible says we should “pray without ceasing.”

A third way that we can find Jesus in our work is to remember to see him in the faces of others.  As mothers, we especially need to look upon our children as Mary, the Mother of God, looked at Jesus.  All humans are, after all, made in His image.  As our work calls us to be with our children, our parents, our neighbors, or anyone God puts in our paths, we need to see Jesus in all of these people.  Is this easy to do?  Are you kidding?  This is something we can always ask God to help us with when we have silent times of prayer—our own quiet times, adoration, after Mass, etc.

A final way that we can find Jesus in our work is to simply recall the purpose of our work.   It doesn’t even have to be at the moment of the work.  If I am paying bills or following a recipe or helping a child with his homework, it is pretty difficult to have a conversation with Jesus.  It’s hard to “pray” when our tasks take so much of our mental and emotional concentration.  Does Jesus expect us to still find him in these sorts of tasks? Of course he does, but not because we are talking to him. We find Jesus in these tasks because we know that they are given to us from Him and we do them for Him.  This acknowledgement comes not in the heat of keeping lumps from forming in the gravy, but in those other moments of prayer that we have throughout the day.  When we see this purpose in our work, we will want to concentrate to do it well.

This is what our vocation asks of us:  We pray. We work. We work and pray.  We acknowledge.  We offer.  That is how Jesus is present to us in our work.

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

I just love back to school time!

I love buying new markers, crayons, paper, binders, etc.  And yes, I’m sure I also love it because it has to do with getting the kids back to school.  Not that I don’t enjoy my little darlings, but by summer’s end, they seem far too idle and antsy.  I am happy to see them on a regular schedule which consists of more than just sleep, eat, play, and occasionally a few chores. And this is true for both my home schooled children and my children who go to another school, including those going off to college.

But another reason I like back to school time is because it is a chance for new beginnings and starting over.  I use this new beginning time to try a new approach to chores, to review rules for phones, video games, etc, and to develop new habits. Just recently, for example, I redid our chore chart.  If you have attended my seminar, you may remember that we have a chore chart that states everyone’s daily and weekly chores.  For simplicity sake and quality control, we don’t rotate these chores.  However, at back to school time, I switch things up a bit.  I add or subtract chores where needed.  And with another child off to college this year, we had to shuffle things around.  For another example concerning habits, we are now trying to insist on only eating in the kitchen and dinning room.  Although this is a clearly stated “Kiser” rule, we tend to get lazy about this as time goes on.  We use this back to school time as a launching point to get back into good habits, like eating only in the kitchen.  “And please put that dish in the dishwasher when you are through.”  Maybe you can start your own campaign about kids taking shoes off at the door, picking up their clothes, or not leaving their backpacks on the kitchen counter.  Now you can see why a Martha such as myself really likes this idea of starting over.

I also notice now that schedules are more regular, (fuller, but regular) I can schedule a dinnertime that will accommodate most of the family.  I seem more disciplined to make a menu and to get the shopping done.  I guess that’s just my way of “going back to school.”

You probably do similar “back to school” activities.  But let’s not forget that we also may need to start over or begin again with regard to the ”Mary” things.  When we are setting new schedules, do we allow time for prayer, study, or service, or is our schedule filled with soccer, football, carpool and piano lessons?   Can we find a time that we can pray together as a family, even if it is something as simple as a short prayer as we go out the door for school or ride to there together in the car?  I am sure you have many ideas and convictions about this. Let’s just take a little time to figure out what we need do. (Try to listen to the Holy Spirit.) And then let’s have the courage, discipline and energy to carry it out.


Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

Although keeping the kids busy is not so bad in itself, I believe that many of us moms fall into that parenting trap of thinking that keeping kids busy and out of trouble is equivalent to good parenting.

In reality, this is a Martha approach to taking care of our kids.  I use the term “Martha” loosely here to refer to busyness–like the Martha in the Bible. I suspect most of us need to take a more Mary approach in our homes.  What needs and priorities do our kids have?  Are we taking time to meet these or are we just filling their time with activities to keep them out of our hair?

Of course this extends more importantly into our own personal lives.  Do we find ourselves just busying our own lives, going from one task to the next?  When our personal lives are more reflective and thoughtful and our priorities are in order, this can’t help but spill over into the lives or our children.

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

Here are some of our favorites:

The Shrine of Mother Cabrini, Golden, Co.

We thoroughly enjoyed learning about this saint’s work in America as we visited her shrine. We also enjoyed the ascent up many, many stairs to see the heart of stones this saint placed here and a fabulous view.

http://www.MotherCabriniShrine.org

Shrine of Our Lady of LaLeche, St. Augustine, Florida

This was America’s first Mission and the place of the first parish Mass ever said on American soil.  We all enjoyed walking around the grounds and seeing these historic sites.

http://www.missionandshrine.org

National Shrine of Our Lady of Snows, Belleville, IL, (very close to St. Louis)

This retreat like facility had nice accomodations, as well as beautiful grounds.

Http://www.snows.org

National Shrine of St. Maximilian Kolbe, Marytown, Illinois

This is a delightful retreat facility with a small museum  dedicated to Kolbe and the Holocaust.  A great place to learn about this amazing saint!  Not far from Chicago.

Http://www.Marytown.com

The Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, Washington, D.C.

No trip is complete to our nation’s capital without a stop here.

Http://www.NationalShrine.com

The Portiuncula Adoration Chapel at Franciscan University, Steubenville, OH.

If you are in the tri-state area of OH, PA, and WV it would be easy to visit this university and stop at a replica of the chapel St. Francis was asked to build.  They also have nice outdoor Stations and a great book store.

http://www.franciscan.edu/StudentLife/Default.aspx?id=793&menu_id=109

St. Anthony’s Chapel, Pittsburgh, PA

This dark, little chapel on the hill of the city is incredible. It has the largest collection of relics outside the Vatican, including some pretty serious ones, like a piece of the true cross and a thorn.  It also has life-size statues of the stations of the cross inside.  Try to get a tour.

http://www.ichrusa.com/saintsalive/anthony.htm

Dig in and do a little research before your next vacation or your “staycation.”  Most of these sites I found in my AAA travel books and other travel books from the library.  CatholicShrines.net is also a great place to start.

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

I don’t propose any “right” answer to this question, but I’d like to encourage families to live life more deliberately in this particular area, whether it is just getting more yard work done, catching up with teens, spending time with your spouse, visiting with relatives, playing with the kids, or a combination.  Let’s do a little Martha planning and really reap some Mary benefits.

Smart Martha Travel Tips:

1) Post a packing list.

This is something my kids have come to expect, even the older ones.  This is a list like you’d get if you were going to camp.  “What to Bring: 5 t-shirts, 4 pairs of shorts, 2 swimsuits, book to read, beach towel, bath towel, 8 undies, toiletries, etc. etc.”  I post it on the refrigerator or print out multiple lists for each kid to have their own.  For the elementary school-aged children, I have them put their list’s contents out on the bed and I double-check their lists with them before putting the stuff into their bags.  Save this list on your computer from year to year and adapt it for every trip.

2) Bag it.

When traveling with younger kids (especially if they are going to spend time at Grandma’s), I have found that putting complete outfits with underwear and socks in gallon size ziplock bags keeps the clothes coordinated and organized.  This is perfect for the 4-5 year olds who can dress themselves–They just grab a bag and get dressed.

3) Keep it Simple, Sweety.

For some reason, “car travel clutter” just drives me crazy.  I have found that fewer items simply stored seems to do the trick just as well as lots of stuff. For kids in carseats, I use a bag of items/toys which we go through and trade off.  Food and naps seems to be the best occupiers of these little ones, so I always plan according to that schedule.  We never stop if a little one is napping. We get gas and use the restroom right before naptime.   Along these same lines, when the rest of us stop to eat a meal, we let the little ones run around since they have been snacking the whole time in the car.  This can be done with picnics at rest stops and playlands at McDonalds.

For kids not in carseats,  lap desks or big picture books are a great surface for coloring books, writing, etc, but I  insist that when they are done with any activity they promptly store it in their travel bag, (which you’ll recognize from my seminar as their library bags).  And yes, we have finally found a use for those awful personal electronic devices!  Gameboys were made for 10 hour car trips!  Of course, we take turns with those and still spend much family travel time listening to music and books on tape.  Also, watching DVD’s helps pass the time.  On one of our super long trips, we not only watched 10 episodes of Gilligan’s Island, but we also watched some of our home movies from years past and had many laughs. You have a captive audience.  Think of the possibilities!  I am thinking about showing our wedding video on our next trip!

4) Last, but not least, Pray.

We always say the Guardian Angel Prayer before we start out on a trip.  Sometimes a rosary.

Smart Martha on Vacation – Part 2 Coming Soon!

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

Visit Tami Kiser’s wonderful website for this week’s “Smart Martha” tip of the month and learn to make your own laundry detergent!

I am always talking about being more like Mary and less of Martha, so let’s really take that to heart this month of May.  And yes I know that they are different Mary’s, but this is really the Mary we want to be like.  She always seeks her son.  So the best way for us to find Christ in all our situations is to ask Mary.  How can we remember to do this?

It’s simple:  Devote ourselves to her. She always comes through.  I am serious about it being that simple.  Try it if you don’t believe me.  Next time you find yourself in a troublesome situation, beg Mary for help or say a “Hail, Mary.”  Then see what happens.  . .

Our problem is that we don’t remember to do this.  We’d rather curse the situation or wallow in self-pity or find someone else to blame.  Even in non-troublesome, everyday situations, we like to handle the situations in our own Martha-like way.  We can’t seem to remember that we should always look for Christ, and that the best way to find Christ is to ask his mother.

This is why devotion to Mary is so helpful to our devotion to Christ. To help with this devotion to Mary, here are some

Ideas Old and New:

I really like the Total Consecration to Mary by St. Louis de Montfort.  Find out about it in many different places.  This group will send the devotion info for free: http://www.ourlady33.com/main.htm and this group has the whole consecration on line for you http://totalconsecration.ageofmary.com/index.html

You can also get the book at any Catholic bookstore.  These sites explain it better than I can so check it out.

Up the rosary count. Once a day? Once a week? A decade a day? Don’t make the mistake of going too big—if you know what I mean.  We do once a week as a family, which isn’t much, but this is the only way we have remained consistent.  Since it is May, I will up my own Mary devotion this month by saying my own rosary a day, and with the kids, one decade at their bedtime prayers.  By simply saying that rosary once a day, we have that “Hail, Mary” fresh on our tongue ready to come out again when we really need it.

Or try a new way to say the rosary with the kids. I found this rosary with meditations by Benedict Groeschel and pictures from movies clips.  Here is the link to the Glorious mysteries on YouTube.

Not for every family, but for elementary aged children and younger, I think these are a great lesson in what we are suppose to thinking about when we say the rosary.  Your teens might even like them, and you can’t beat Fr. Benedict’s meditations.

Move the Mary statue.  Place her in a more noticeable spot.  Keep fresh flowers near her.   Can someone fashion a flower crown for the statue?

Make a Mary Garden. Check this site out for ideas and suggested flowers.  Basically,  plant flowers around your Mary statue outside. Starting a Mary Garden.

Color a Mary picture for your refrigerator and put up a list of prayer requests with it.  Here is a picture of the Assumption:

Or better, let your little artists do their own.

Aren’t these activities considered Martha-like in that we are doing or making something, not really praying?  Do they really count?  As with all devotions or activities like this, we need to be careful not to just go through the motions.  These signs and activities are only meaningful if they remind us to seek Mary’s help through our day.

Remember no one can help us find Christ better than his mother.  And we’ll take every reminder we can!

Visit Tami Kiser’s wonderful website for this week’s “Smart Martha” tip of the month and learn to make your own laundry detergent!

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

I am not sure that I proposed it quite like that, but I know that many women took it that way.  Granted, if we do have our act together, work in a simplified and organized way, and use many timesaving techniques, we may spend more time being Mary-like.  But Ladies, it isn’t that simple, is it?  Women with that Martha-like tendency will find still one more drawer to organize, one more load of laundry to wash to distract her from the most important things.

After intentionally praying about and studying the Mary/Martha story for weeks, months and now, years, I’ve come to a deeper understanding of the message that lies in this story.

The message is NOT:

~I need to get all my work done as quickly as possible so that I can pray and be with Jesus.

~I need to carefully assess each situation that I am in and see if I should be “doing dishes” or “being with Jesus.”

I am not saying that any of these are wrong in and of themselves.  They probably are an improvement on what we normally do.  But I have been challenged, and I now challenge you, to take a deeper look at the Mary/Martha lesson.  Jesus simply wants Martha’s full devotion and love in whatever she may be doing.  In the story, it was evident that Martha’s thoughts and mind were on other things—like dishes.  Consequently, we see clearly where Mary’s devotion was.  She was physically (and spiritually) present with Jesus.  This is the “better part” that Jesus wants.  Not so much that she was sitting at Jesus’ feet not doing dishes, but that she chose to be physically and spiritually present with Jesus.  Remember, it wasn’t so much that Martha was doing dishes, but that her mind was elsewhere, “anxious and worried about many things.”

Our challenge now is to be present with Jesus at all times—whether we are doing dishes, praying at Mass, or playing Candy Land.  Sometimes it is good to go to adoration so that we can have that concentrated time of prayer, but don’t under estimate the potential for Jesus to be present during “dull housekeeping” tasks or boring Little League games that we attend, too.  As St. Josemaria Escriva says, “Do you really want to be a saint?  Carry out the little duty of each moment: do what you ought and put yourself into what you are doing.”

Sometimes we think that to be saints we have to do an hour of adoration everyday, say the rosary, attend daily mass, and do an hour of spiritual reading.  Sure, all these things help, but they may not be what our duty for that moment is.  Busy moms may be lucky to get in one of these a day.  But, that is OK.  Moms need to be in the moment and be spiritually present with Christ in whatever duties they have.  Picture yourself like Mary at Jesus’ feet while you are doing the dishes, changing a diaper, washing the car, reading “Green Eggs and Ham” or walking around the block.

Yes, it’s a lot to ask.  But essentially, this is how Christ asks us to live.  Try it.  It will be worth every effort you make.

I really found that nobody says this better than St. Francis of Rome:  “It is most laudable in a married woman to be devout, but she must never forget that she is a housewife. And sometimes she must leave God at the altar to find Him in her housekeeping.”

Smart Martha Tip of the Month:  “Have Clear Spaces and an Empty Shelf”

Yes, I am still ranting about the importance of decluttering your home.  In particular this month, see what you can do about having a clear space.  It can be a counter,  table, dresser or your desk or all of the above.  I’ve been recommending this at my seminars for years.  Try it and you’ll see what I mean.  When my kitchen counters are clear–even if the rest of the house is in shambles, I have one place to go where I feel order and peace.  I don’t mind having to cook or bake when my counters look like this.  And clear spaces are easier to keep clear.  Piles and clutter attract more piles and clutter.  I thought to give you this tip this month when I ran across the same “clear space” advice from Gretchen Rubin. She is a best-selling writer. Her new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier.  It has been on the NYTimes Bestseller list for 3 months.  I’ve not read it, so I don’t endorse it.  But what she says about clutter is true: “For most people, outer order contributes to inner calm; a messy coat closet, for instance, is clearly a very trivial element in life, yet clearing out that messy coat closet gives a disproportionately large happiness boost.”

She also suggests having an empty shelf.  Have you ever experienced this?  I have.  I actually cleaned out our mudroom/work bench recently  and was able to leave one shelf bare.  Wow! what a feeling.  We don’t need to fill every space in our homes, even if our homes are small.  Simplify and lighten your load!

I will be putting the big finish on my decluttering spree when I tackle the attic the weekend after Easter.  I’ve been dreading this for a long time, so I had to use another decluttering tactic–Get Help! I  had to strike a bargain with my husband so he would agree to help me out.  Otherwise, I couldn’t face it alone.  Being present with Jesus in my messy attic will be a lot easier when I am accompanied by another person.


Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser

Not only is clutter messy, but it can also give us a false sense of dependence.  We think accumulating or buying things can satisfy some need that we have.  So we buy and collect, but it only temporarily satisfies that need.  Soon we think we need to buy more and have more only to be disappointed again.

My children also have too much stuff.  I am trying to teach them the lesson of being content with what they have.  It seems like such a counter-cultural lesson.  Their friends have more toys. The TV and magazine ads taunt them with more toys.  And they think they can’t be happy if they don’t get more toys.  What happens when they do get more toys?  Are they happy then?  Only for a while.

Our lives also get cluttered.  We fill our schedules with so many activities. We are really asking for a “Martha” existence when we do this.  I think sometimes we think that if we are busy running around that somehow we are “important.”  Just like in accumulating stuff, we get a false sense of dependence on all of our activities. We don’t have to think about being like Mary, because we really have too much stuff to do.

I am also trying to clean up this “clutter” in our family schedule.  I know that sports and music lessons are important, but so is hanging out and relaxing at home.  Pushing busy schedules on our kids teaches them to live a “Martha” existence.  I no longer believe that keeping kids busy keeps them out of trouble.  Raising children isn’t as simple as that.

So here are my thoughts for you for this month. I would never really describe myself as “having a lot of clutter,” but when I looked around, it was there.  Maybe you have some clutter, too.

1) Are there areas in your life or home where you have too much?

2) Do you seek out buying things when you are sad or bored?

3) Do you fill your children’s schedule just to keep them “busy?”

4) Do you have enough “down time” to be Mary for your family and friends or are you too busy running from one thing to the next?

5) What need do I really have that all the stuff in the world won’t quench?  The need for Christ.

Only Christ is Sufficient!

Tip of the Month:  Simple Steps to DeClutter a drawer, shelf, closet, or room:
(If you are dreading a job like this, don’t think about it and just follow these simple steps.)

1) Dump or empty.  Take everything out.  If you are cleaning out your “Plasticware” cabinet for example, just take every item out of the cabinet.  Wipe the cabinet out.

2) Sort in 4 Piles. Here are your 4 Piles that you will put everything into.  You can use bins or bags or whatever for these piles.  1 is keep these items here. Pile 2 is these belong somewhere else in the house. Pile 3 is give away.  Pile 4 is throw away.  With the plasticware, I make sure everything has a lid.  Ones without lids or lids without bottoms get pitched.  I also make sure I don’t have more than I need.  When the stuff is all sorted, put the give aways in a box or bag and put to the side  Put Pile 4 in the trash.  And take the time to put the stuff from Pile 2 where it belongs–or ask a kid to do this.

3) Decide how to best organize or arrange your Pile 1 in your given space. Do not keep stuff just because you have a space for it.  Only keep what you need. And don’t keep stuff if you don’t have a space for it.  Sorry, it’s got to go. Put them in the bag of give aways, Pile 3. If you need some baskets or other kind of organizers, put this on a shopping list to get later and use some kind of makeshift system (like boxes or bags) until you get what you want. For my plasticware, I use an organizer for lids and bottoms.  Those that don’t fit this system, I store with the lid fitted on losely. I have no lost lids this way.

4) Teach Others.  You know if you don’t show the other people in your home where the things belong, your drawer/cabinet/closet/room is just going to end up like it was.  Take the time to do this. I use post-it notes or other labels as reminders. Your drawer/cabinet/closet/room is going to get messed up again, but this should stretch it out a bit for you.

Happy Decluttering!

Copyright 2010 Tami Kiser