Waste No Food

Being Good Stewards of our stuff involves not wasting food!  I have really been paying close attention to this after hearing the statistic of how much food Americans waste:  25% of our food, and 50% of our produce.  It’s not so much of a “go green” approach, but really a consideration of those who are poor.  With Pope Francis emphasizing the need of the church to take care of the poor, I have been looking at my own lifestyle and trying to see how I can help the poor. I don’t think I have been called to go overseas to a third-world country.  Perhaps something local?  I am currently looking into helping out our St. Vincent DePaul Society.  This is a possibility.  But a couple of things I know for sure, and that is to give generously to those organizations that do help the poor and be a better steward of the things that I have been given.

This leads back to the idea of not wasting food.  Just think:  If I can save 25% of my food bill every month instead of wasting 25%, like the national average, I could give a hefty amount of money to an organization like Food for the Poor.

I just received a brochure from them that said I could feed a family for a month for $14.60.  I could also give $25 that would buy 20 chicks or $600 for a cow.  I left this brochure on our counter where my children eat some of their meals.  It might serve to remind them to clean their plates a little better.

Having just returned from giving a seminar a couple weekends ago, I am reminded of many of the Smart Martha ideas that would help us to be better stewards of our money and food.

Find a list of ideas to help us keep from wasting food at http://www.smartmartha.com/Pages/WasteNoFood.aspx.

Copyright 2013 Tami Kiser

How to Embrace a Cross

If you watched any of the Passion-type movies over Holy Week, you probably thought at some point, “How could Jesus so lovingly embrace that cross?”  What’s even harder to imagine is, “How can I embrace the crosses in my own life?”

Jesus himself said to take up your cross and follow him.  And we have countless examples of the saints who did just that.  Many of them voluntarily went to die painful deaths.  Others seemed to smile through their suffering diseases.  Trials either physical or emotional were peacefully endured.

How can they do this?  How can love be that great to endure such pain?

I got a taste to the answer to this question this Good Friday.

Our CL Community (Communion and Liberation) leads The Way of the Cross through our city.  It happens in other cities throughout our country, like NYC.  Ours doesn’t have thousands, but maybe a hundred people who participate by following a wooden cross through a busy city and stopping to pray, sing, and reflect along the way.

It’s a beautiful witness to the community as people at work in the city pause and remember that this day, Good Friday, is a remembrance of Jesus who carried another cross through a busy, crowded city over 2000 years.  People even join us on our walk through several blocks of office buildings, stores, apartments, and parks.

This year, because my husband was doing the readings, I had solo kid-duty.  Not too much of a problem since most are old enough to keep track of themselves, but I still had the wiggly one-year old.  Instead of passing her around, like we usually do, I decided to use the backpack.  I love the backpack.  Our little Esther can spend hours up there looking around and pretty much entertaining herself.  Perfect for this.  I can pray and listen to the readings.  My kids won’t have to watch her either.  They can pray and reflect along the way.  But. . . after an hour, I know my back will begin to feel like it is going to brake.  Call me a wimp, but I just am not a backpacker.  This Way of the Cross usually is 2 hours long.  Maybe I will be fine.

After an hour into the Way, I began to feel that ache in my back.  What should I do?  I can hand her off to a brother; or sit and rest somewhere; or endure it.  I chose on this Good Friday with my hungry, weary body to endure it!  (It’s not a hard decision to make in the midst of the Passion of Christ.  Oh, that I could always remember Jesus suffering for me.)  But Christ taught me another lesson here: How to Love the Cross.

On Jesus’ cross, he saw the faces of all of humanity.  He saw my face, my family’s faces, your face, everyone’s.  Guess whose face was on my “cross” at that moment?  It was the face of my daughter, who I was carrying on my back.  Oh how I love that face!  And I love to embrace it.

Now I can imagine how Jesus embraced that cross that bore our faces. It was out of true love for us.

The next step for me as I am through Passion Week and into Easter is how can I always embrace my crosses.  It won’t be easy when I can’t see a physical face of someone I love so dearly.  I need to look harder at my crosses, just as the saint’s did and see Christ’s loving face.

Christ is behind every cross we have.  This may be hard for us to grasp or understand, but these crosses come with Christ’s face, with Christ’s love.  Don’t be afraid to embrace them and let Christ’s love carry you through.

If you look in the picture you can see the little pink hat of my daughter near the bottom right being carried on the back of someone who loves her so dearly.

Copyright 2013 Tami Kiser

A woman approached me recently at a seminar I was giving in Minneapolis.  She was wondering how I dealt with the time I needed to give to my family versus the time I spend in front of my computer.  Great question.   I admit that many times I know that I should be cleaning, reading a book to my child, or even just trying to be present to my family, but instead, I find myself attached to my keyboard.  I have struggled with this issue a lot. 

I sometimes feel as though technology has taken over me and the rest of my family.  When the 11 month old gets fussy on her brother’s watch, he immediately hands her his phone.  She holds it to her ear, slides open the lock, and pushes different buttons to get responding lights and sounds.  On any given evening, every family member can be found staring at his own screen.  I am on my computer fiddling with my webpage or checking those endless emails.  My husband is on his Ipad reading the newspaper and listening to his favorite classical albums.  One son is talking or texting to his girlfriend, another is on Facebook, another is playing video games online with his friends, and still a couple more sons are watching Arthur on TV.  This is not what I envisioned for my family twenty-five years ago when we brought that first baby home.  This is what I was picturing:  we’d all be sitting in a family room in front of a fire in the fireplace with some children playing Parcheesi  and others reading.  I was probably knitting while my dear hubby was reading the paper (well, at least that is the same.)

What has happened to my family?  Are we too plugged in?  Is this just a symptom of modern times?  Or is it a sign of parenting gone soft?

Before drawing any conclusions and taking any drastic measures,   I want to take a real look at the situation. I need to ask these two important parenting questions:  How does living like this potentially harm my family?  And is living like this pleasing to God?

The harm that comes from too much screen time are obvious:  less time doing other productive things, potential exposure to violence, profanity, etc., less face time with other people (isolation), and shortened attention spans from instant gratification that screens can provide to name a few about which I am most concerned.

If these results are happening, then we certainly aren’t pleasing God.  The easiest solution might be to just get rid of them all.  Ban all screens and all technology.  There is certainly no harm in that.  However, I don’t think that this is realistic for our family.  I believe God wants us to be ”in the world, but not of the world,”  to use technology but not let it rule us.  This is the key for our family.  We want to use technology, but not to let it rule us.

How can we do this?  Well our family has come up with four ways to use technology but not be ruled by it.  By following these 4 rules, we can reduce some of the harmful effects of too much screen time, and at the same time, be pleasing to God.

1)     Use technology to help with our relationship to God.  There are many ways that we can use technology to help with our relationship to God.  For example, during this year of Faith, the Pope has asked us to spend some time reading our Catechism.  Now I could just pull it from my shelf, blow off the dust, and begin reading, but that probably wouldn’t happen on a very consistent basis.  Instead, I have signed up on Flocknotes.com to Read Through the Catechism in a Year.  Everyday a portion of the Catechism comes into my inbox.  Most days, I read the passage, reflect, and then go about reading my other emails.  I do a similar thing with the Saint of the Day from AmericanCatholic.org.  Normally I can never do all 9 days of a novena.  Now, I am signed up for PrayMoreNovenas.com and consistently pray for all of the 9 days.  All this, and I don’t even own a Smartphone.  With apps, there are even more opportunities for easier prayer because now you can pray with your Smartphone wherever you happen to be waiting.  On the Subway?  Liturgy of the Hours App.  At the doctor’s office?  A Rosary App.  We can even set alarms on our devices to remind us that it is time to pray the Angelus.

      Can our children use technology to help with their relationship to God.  Sure.  Facebook is the primary tool today’s teens use to connect with the world and “express” themselves.  I’ve seen a great number of join this “pro-life” cause or other quotes that support a Catholic position.  Many youth groups and young adult groups use Facebook and Twitter to announce meetings and events as well as hosting an open forum on the topics they are discussing.  Even when a recent viral YouTube denied the idea of an organized church founded by Jesus, many young people responded with videos of their own showing the inconsistency and inaccuracies of the viral video.  Pope Benedict has called on young people to use technology to proclaim the faith.  These are just some ways that I have seen our family involved in that call.  Technology is a big part of the new evangelization.

Can video games and internet sites have content that is evil?  Sure, but just as we have always prevented TV shows and movies from coming into our home that don’t meet our standards, so too, has this standard been applied to computer screens and video games.  With a house full of boys (and many are young men, now.) Porn is prayed about and preached about consistently in our home.   For the most part, the kids have adopted this higher standard as their own and even keep a watch over their younger siblings.  I make an effort to know what my kids are playing and watching by simply being interested in what interests them.  I don’t play Halo with my son, but I’ve talked with him enough about the video game to know that the bad guys are called, the Covenant. (Why is that?) My son reminds me that at least they aren’t into Assasin’s Creed which has a definite dislike of a hierarchical church.  They are really into some of these video games so I listen.   I have one son that keeps me up to speed on all things computer.  Communicating about technology can be a way to use technology to improve our relationships.

2)     Use technology to help us in our relationships to one another.  There is a great need for real life, face-to-face relationships between people.  We would be a troubled society if all our relationships were based on text messages.  Yet, in days of old, relationships were maintained for months, even years, by the simple letter.   Perhaps it comes down to the quality of the messages we communicate to one another and not simply the mode of communication.  This quality is established with the face-to-face, but can be maintained to a certain extent with communication via technology.  Here is a good example.  My daughter is 500 miles away at college.  We Skype every week. We exchange texts several times a week.  I check her Facebook for recent pictures and happenings.  I even follow her on Pinterest to see what she’s been cooking and crafting.    I have never had such a great relationship with my daughter!  In high school, we barely spoke to each other.   Sure this has something  to do with her maturity and homesickness, but without all this technology our relationship would not be flourishing as well as it is. These modes of communication have helped us to easily share our thoughts and ideas with one another.  This is why I let my children have Facebook pages when they get into high school.  They share events, pictures, “news”, with their friends.  Most are friends that they see in school daily.  Some are friends that have moved away.  My kids are friends with their cousins who they see only a couple of times a year. By high school age, my kids have a sense of the “good” way to use Facebook—not to get caught up in gossip or a popularity race. Sure they can mess up, but that’s why it’s good to be an acquaintance of your child on Facebook to keep this “good” way in check. Again, older siblings who are friends on their younger siblings’ FaceBook do this best.   For us, social networks and email doesn’t replace the face-to-face relationship, it just facilitates it.

3)      Use technology to serve us in our daily duties.  My primary vocation is wife and mother.  This career usually doesn’t bring to mind a lot of technology.  We think of diapers, minivans, soccer games, and lots of laundry.  Truth be told, I would be lost without my computer.  Every schedule, chore, recipe, contact information, etc. is just a click away.  All communication about school, clubs, organizations, and even the parish is done with email.  I even use electronic sticky notes to keep current to-dos right in front of my face.  Perhaps what seems to really take the cake is using my Ipad when I nurse my baby.   This may seem extreme, but in the past, I’ve always read a book while nursing the baby.  The Ipad works better.  Not only can I read my daily Catechism passage, but I also can read various articles and even a novel.  With a book, it was often tricky holding the pages open—not so with an Ipad or other electronic  reader.  I don’t even have to worry about having enough light to read, my Ipad provides its own.  I’ve also watched episodes from EWTN on YouTube that I otherwise would have never taken the time to view.

4)     Have enough non-screen time alone and together.    For us, this is key!  Sometimes this actually means time limits. If we don’t turn off the Phineas and Ferb cartoon, our younger boys wouldn’t open a game of Monopoly, shoot arrows in the backyard, or build their Lego models.  The younger boys have parental-enforced, strict time limits regarding video games.  As our children get older, we begin to let them manage their own time regarding screen time.  We oversee and help our children monitor this with indicators like grades in school, time spent with friends, and even books they’ve read (When’s the last time you picked up a book?).  For everyone, we insist on turning it off at a certain time in the evening realizing it can affect sleep, so desperately needed by adolescents.   It sometimes isn’t just a matter of limiting time.  Just as most families try to have “family” time together, we have found this idea even more crucial since we are now competing against not only busy schedules, but also their screens.  My husband and I do this together naturally.  After we have had our hour in the evening finishing up work or leisurely looking online, we meet together in the family room to talk.  Another practice I have adopted for myself is that I never take the Ipad to bed.  Bedtime is peaceful downtime. Mentally I need that break from the cyber, electronic world. And it allows for better pillow talk.  For our “family”, non-screen time, we really work hard to have relaxed dinners together as often as possible.  We also have time together on Sundays when we hike, bike, go to museums, or visit family.  If the kids know about these outings in advance, they are more likely to go along with little or no resistance.  They come to expect them every Sunday.  During Lent and Advent we pick additional time together that can involve adoration or service activities.  We have found that we need to be purposeful about spending time together and to look for opportunities to do this.       

For now, I am at peace with these terms.  I don’t want to be a lazy parent or on the other hand, be too scrupulous.  With God’s grace I hope I can stay in that balance between the two.  But like all other aspects of parenting, this takes constant prayer, open lines of communication between all, and don’t forget that grace which comes with your sacrament of marriage.

Please check out my Family Lent suggestions on my webpage!  

Copyright 2013 Tami Kiser

O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I offer you my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day in union with the holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world. I offer them for all the intentions of your Sacred Heart: the salvation of souls, reparation for sin, the reunion of all Christians. I offer them for the intentions of our bishops and of all apostles of prayer — in particular, for those recommended by our Holy Father this month

For young children (by Robert Hugh Benson):

My God, I offer up to Thee

My soul and heart, thine own to be;

And all I do or hear or say

and all my work and play.

2. Have a better breakfast; get out of the breakfast-box-cereal rut and save money—and get better nutrition. Most of these breakfast suggestions will not only save you money, but also deliver more nutrition. Sure, there are some very healthy box cereals out there, but if your kids will even eat those ones, you will notice that you will pay a lot of cash per bowl— there is usually only a few bowls per box! Here are some suggestions to perk up your breakfast.

These 6 ideas may not seem quite as simple as just opening up a box, but with a little planning and organizing, that small effort will reap big benefits.

1. Old Fashioned Oatmeal and Hot Cereal

This is a great standby. And my kids love it. We especially like the Old Fashion Oats, but don’t mind the quick oats, either. We usually make a big pot of it and sweeten the whole pot with brown sugar. I sometimes add chopped apples while the water boils or a handful of frozen blueberries with the oats. Even if we have just one person eating it, like here–we still use a pan. Jacob makes this on his own all of the time. He puts about an inch of water in the pot and brings to a boil. He adds some oats and turns off the stove. Viola! Yes it can be done in the microwave just as easy, but we always tend to boil it over. We don’t remember to use a big enough bowl. And in keeping with the Smart Martha rules of no pans or dishes in the sink, the pan is easily washed (usually while the oatmeal cools) and put away and the bowl is rinsed and put in the dishwasher. (This is literally pennies a serving!)

We like most hot cereals; and they, too, are just as easy to make. Our favorite is Cream of Wheat or Farina. We also love yellow cornmeal/ grits with honey and milk. Hot Cereal is also a category where you can splurge and get some organic/very healthy hot cereals from a Whole Food’s type store since they still will run so much cheaper per serving than box cereal. There are all kinds of wheat bran, bulgur, or rice hot cereal blends to try.  We also eat Quinoa, warm and sweetened.

2. Waffles, Pancakes and French Toast

Sure, these can take a little longer and make a bigger mess, but there are a few ways to make these a little more instantaneous.

One way is to freeze a batch of waffles and just pop them in the toaster. I simply doubled the amount I made on a Saturday and flash froze them by laying them out on a cookie sheet to freeze. After they were frozen through, I put them in this Ziploc bag. We simply reheat in the toaster like Eggo Waffles–but for pennies a serving and all contents healthy. The same can be done with pancakes.

A great way to use up a loaf of bread that is going stale is to make a batch of French toast with it. Flash freeze it and put it right back in its bread bag and store in the freezer. These can be toasted or microwaved the same way as waffles.

Another way to have pancakes/waffles ready to go is to keep the batter in the refrigerator. I find most batters last a couple of days in the refrigerator before they begin to separate and look gross.

Toppings? Besides syrup-which is more sugar than I’d like them to have in the morning, I push for peanut butter and bananas or fruit spreads and cream cheese, even butter with a little cinnamon-sugar is delicious.

3. EGGS, EGGS, and EGGS!

Studies show that a high protein breakfast lasts longer than one that is mostly carbs. I also think it helps with concentration. Whenever my kids have a big, long test, I always encourage them to have eggs for breakfast. A couple of years ago I bought a cheap non-stick omelet pan which gets used several times each day. It’s the perfect one-serving size which cleans up with a swish of a dishbrush and hot water. Kids over the age of 6 can make their own omelets, dippy eggs (our name for over-easy), scrambled eggs, frittatas, etc. Cheese completes their eggs! For my growing boys and husband, I usually have chopped ham or sausage patties in the freezer which gets cooked in the pan first. For me, I have spinach and tomatoes or any other veggies that I can find.

For a different way with eggs, cook up a dozen of hard-boiled eggs. A warm hard-boiled egg with a little salt and buttered toast is delicious. Here’s how I do it (except I use 22 minutes instead of 12–I’ll try 12 next time…) www.IncredibleEgg.com

And let’s not forget the breakfast burrito. This is simply scrambled eggs, cheese, and salsa (and anything else you’d like) wrapped in a flour tortilla.

4. Muffins

Sure, you could bake some and then freeze them, but have you ever tried those Refrigerator or 6-week Muffins? It had been awhile since I had them, so I made a batch last week. The batter sits in your refrigerator for up to 6 weeks and you simply bake them on demand. Here is a basic recipe from AllRecipes.com that I used. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/six-week-bran-muffins-2/detail.aspx

I altered the recipe and used different whole grain flours including oats. I also used powdered milk and cut the sugar in half. In the past, I’ve used plain bran flakes for my non-raisin fans. These fresh out of the oven topped with cream cheese and jelly are great. You can obviously do lots of add-ins like, nuts, dried fruits, chocolate chips, etc.

Here’s the batch I baked this morning with batter which I know won’t last for six weeks, but maybe for a couple more.

5. Granola

I love homemade granola and tend to munch on it throughout the whole day. Homemade granola is usually healthier and cheaper than its store version depending on how you make it. The great thing about making it is choosing what to add. I love nuts, but sometimes if I am out, my granola goes nutless–which makes my no-nut fans happy. (and I almost never use raisins for that same reason.)

Which recipe and method? There are many–here is the one I use:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/Megans-Granola/Detail.aspx?prop31=6

You can substitute so much for the dry ingredients–even all oats! I usually add flax, whole wheat flour, coconut or whatever I have in the pantry.

Granola bars that you get in the store are so sugary, but I’ve used them many times in a pinch when a child didn’t have time for breakfast. Here are 2 recipes I’ve used often for granola/cereal bars. I wish I could make enough to keep in stock, but they disappear quickly. The 2nd one with sweetened condensed milk does have a lot of sugar, but is so easy to make and to load with other healthy ingredients, I can’t resist it.

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/Playgroup-Granola-Bars/Detail.aspx?prop31=6

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/Easy-Granola-Bars/Detail.aspx?prop31=4

6. Smoothies

Although these are typically afterschool snacks for us, they make excellent breakfasts. I have a generic “Magic Bullet” that I got at Aldis that makes this feat very easy to make and clean up. But really, a blender isn’t that much different. I always have a supply of frozen bananas in the freezer that can sweeten any smoothie without adding sugar. These are undesirable bananas that got too ripe or were bought that way from the store–perfect for banana bread or smoothies. Flash freeze without their peels then put in a Ziploc bag. Since other frozen fruit isn’t cheap, I often freeze my own from in-season fruits or fruit that is going bad.

Once your fruit is picked and put in your blender, you just need some liquid. We use milk, soy milk, plain yogurt, juice, or even water. You don’t really need a recipe for a smoothie, stock your freezer and use whatever you fancy. (Oh and for you healthy people who don’t mind drinking the color green, spinach works pretty well in most smoothies without altering the taste too much.)

I hope you have enjoyed these breakfast suggestions! Stock your freezer. Do a little baking. Pray that morning offering. Take some time to make these happen. My hope is that we can start our morning looking for Christ and keep our eyes out for him all day.

Blessings,

Tami Kiser, aka Smart Martha

Copyright 2013 Tami Kiser

Celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe

Our family has had a devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe since my husband and I converted to the Catholic Church over 20 years ago.  We love her words to the humble Juan Diego, “Am I not here?” We have relied on those words of Mary as if she said them to us personally.  We are always cared for by our loving mother.  We picture our family wrapped in her mantel.

I had the privilege a few years ago to visit the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City.  Did you know that the tilma which bears her image remains a constant 98 degrees? (This and dozens of other miraculous facts are attributed to this tilma.) It’s like she is somehow still a living presence there.  Devoted pilgrims who come there by the millions to pray can feel the Blessed Virgin’s presence.

For these reasons, we always try to celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe with great fervor.  Many times we need this friendly reminder of our Lady’s care in our personal lives.  Celebrating on this day on December 12th calls our family back to this devotion.

We try to have a Mexican meal and piñata with friends.  We pray a rosary together.  Over the years, we have also developed a skit for the children to perform to share the miraculous story of Juan Diego and the tilma.  This skit has been done for just our family, big parties, a few guests, home school groups, and even at a Catholic school.

I have typed this skit up and posted it online so that families and groups will have the opportunity to tell this memorable story. Find it online at http://www.smartmartha.com/Pages/FeastofOurLadyofGuadalupe.aspx

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Materials for cleaning bathrooms

Clean your bathroom today and have a clean bathroom for the rest of the day, but teach your children to clean the bathroom and have a clean bathroom for the rest of their years at home. . .

Well, it’s not exactly that easy.  But too many times we will ask our children to do certain tasks or chores and expect them to be done to our expectations.  When they are not, we will get exasperated with our children.  This can lead to more nagging and complaints OR simply doing the chore ourselves. NEITHER of these is good for our children.

When children complete their chores well, not only is there the benefit of having the job done, but children also get a sense of accomplishment and know that they contributed to the family life.  This in turn results in confident, well-adjusted, and self-reliant kids.  What’s not to like?

One thing I teach in my “Keeping the House Clean” section of my Smart Martha Seminars is to not only assign chores to all the members of the house, but to make sure that the expectations for every chore are clearly spelled out.  (With many hands on deck in our home, we all have some simple daily chores that we do along with a couple of more involved weekly chores.)

In the past, I’ve sold a Kids Can Clean: The Bathroom DVD at my seminars and on my web page.  It features a 10-year-old boy going through the steps of how to quick clean a bathroom.  It’s always been very popular.  My kids have persuaded me to put this video online since, “no one buys DVDs anymore.”

So here it is:

Video Link

Enjoy and show your favorite tween or teen!  (How many times have they called you over to the computer to watch a Youtube?) Could this go viral?  Recommend it to a friend. Imagine all the bathrooms of the world becoming clean!  But then, it really isn’t quite that simple.  Of course I don’t recommend just showing this to your kids and sit back waiting for the clean to begin.  Watch it together.  Write out the steps that you want done for your bathroom. Take the time to teach your kids.

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Some Simple Ways to Spruce-up your Rosary Praying with your Family

The Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary is on October 7th. For this reason, the whole month is dedicated to the rosary. We know what a powerful prayer this is. Here are a few suggestions to say more meaningful rosaries.

1) How about those car rosaries? Even just a decade when you get in translates to many rosaries and is a beautiful way to start your journey.

2) Find your Rosary night. Yes, it would be nice to say it every night, but where that might be asking too much, try just sticking to one night and be consistent with that. We like Sunday evenings.

3) Go to an Adoration Chapel to say the rosary, either weekly or just one special time this month.

4) Use a video or CD recording to say the rosary. Kids especially like to watch
what’s going on in the mystery—plus, it really is a nice reminder to us of what we are supposed to be meditating on. On YouTube there are many set to music with pictures or clips from movies. I liked the ones by Mysaviormygod like

5) Purchase a rosary coloring book from your Catholic bookstore and let the children color while reciting.

6) Use a children’s rosary book to look at the pictures while saying the rosary. You can even make your own by using the pictures you colored or other pictures that were cut out of magazines and cards or from the Internet. Put these in a ring binder.

7) Make a life-size rosary and walk through it while saying the rosary. We’ve done this with chalk on our back patio.

8) Try saying the rosary outside around a campfire or in a fire pit in the evening. It makes for a peaceful, meditative prayer. Or use a candle.

9) Vary how you say the Rosary as a family. Give people different turns at leading. Give even the youngest children a part.

10) Make your intentions known—use a dry-erase board to write down the intentions and place them so everyone can see them while praying.

11) Say your rosary outside of an abortion facility. Besides general pro-life intentions, you can pray specifically for any mothers and their babies whose lives might be in danger on that very day. We also pray for the doctors whose names are often right on the sign where we are standing. Many facilities have the 40 days for Life going on this month, but you can go to any abortion facility and pray.

12) Let them have cake. On the Feast of the Rosary, or any time this month, make a rosary cake simply by decorating a sheet cake with frosting then M&M’s in the shape of a rosary. Enjoy it after reciting a decade together. Mary is our “sweetness and our hope.”

Please check out my October Celebrations on SmartMartha.com for other ideas for the month.

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Do You Have Plans for the Year of Faith?

It starts Oct. 11th of this year.  Why the random October starting date? It marks the 50-year anniversary of Vatican II and the 20-year anniversary of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Here is what the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops says about Pope Benedict’s declaration of the Year of Faith:

The upcoming Year of Faith is a “summons to an authentic and renewed conversion to the Lord, the One Savior of the world” (Porta Fidei 6). In other words, the Year of Faith is an opportunity for Catholics to experience a conversion – to turn back to Jesus and enter into a deeper relationship with him. The “door of faith” is opened at one’s baptism, but during this year Catholics are called to open it again, walk through it and rediscover and renew their relationship with Christ and his Church.      http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/how-we-teach/new-evangelization/year-of-faith/

I admit that I usually jump aboard things like this after they have already begun.  But out of a need and desire for something more for my family, I “happened” upon this idea that corresponds to Year of Faith.

Family Prayer at Breakfast is a great start to the day!

I wanted to start the school year with my family with more attention to Christ in our lives, but I also wanted to do it in a natural, organic way.  Something else I wanted from a practical, mom perspective was a healthier breakfast.  Viola!  We can have a nice breakfast together, say a short morning prayer/scripture reading, and simply be together.  Starting each morning like this can begin to help us find Christ in our day.  This will be a great way to mark the Year of Faith.

Having been in school for two weeks, we have already started.  I’ve never been the morning type, so this has been a very big sacrifice for me.  With nursing a baby through the night, I usually sleep in every last minute I can.  Often not even getting up for the kids who attend high school.  (Our other kids are home schooled.)   Now, we all — Dad, high school students, home schooled students, and me — sit down to a time of prayer, fellowship, and a hot breakfast.   What a great start to the Year of Faith!

Some other ideas we will try for this Year of Faith are to be more involved in our parish.  The Bishops have many recommended activities for the parishes.  Perhaps we may even head some of these up.

Finally, we are planning a Pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Le Leche in St. Augustine, Fl on our wedding anniversary and 1 year baptism anniversary of our daughter.

We may do other activities as we are inspired, but as we eat our breakfast together every morning, I want to keep this simple goal in mind:  to turn back to Jesus and enter into a deeper relationship with him.

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Real Help for Clutter From Smart Martha

When I was in the waiting room at the dentist office the other day, I noticed that most of the female/home-type magazines all had some type of “Clutter Control” articles.  Naturally, I picked up a few to see if any had new advice to offer.  Why am I always disappointed?  The advice was sound, but nothing particularly new or helpful.  The suggestions that were novel seemed not-to-promising.  Now it’s not that I think I can do any better—I am sure that their pictures and writing styles will run circles around mine—but I am going to give some of my own “Clutter Buster” advice.  This is just some advice that has helped me with this continuous battle of kids, spouses, pets, and all their stuff.  When I follow these simple steps, I also avoid being too much like the Martha in the Bible.  If we have stuff all over the house and constantly feel like we have to hustle about picking it up, that can certainly lead to an “anxious and worried about many things” kind of life for which Jesus corrected Martha.

1. Clean it out.  Get down to the bare minimum in the first place.  The absolute best way to cut clutter is to get as much stuff out of your house that you can and keep it out!  I’ve written about cleaning out before, and I will write about it again.  It’s the kind of thing that we have to keep on doing.  Stuff just magically grows and multiplies in our homes.  I spent the summer “cleaning out” again!  My biggest accomplishment was our family/game room.  We even painted and got new carpet.  With everything out of the room, it was easy to evaluate every single piece of furniture, decoration, game, etc. that went back into the room to determine if we really needed it.
2. Ok, that was nothing new, but we all seem to need that extra encouragement to keep on cleaning out.  Always!  This is so important that it is getting its own number.  Don’t ever stop cleaning out.  Most of us can always get rid of something.  Have a basket or large bag somewhere easily accessible that is your designated spot for giveaways.
3. Designate Clutter Officers for different rooms of your house.  You don’t have to be the Clutter Police Squad all by yourself.  In our home, my zone is the kitchen.  My husband’s is the living room which is right off of his study.  My 11 year old has the newly cleaned family/game room.  My 15 year old has the dinning room.  My 7 year old has the hallway.  My 18 year old has the mudroom. And my 17 year old has the music room/guest room.  In theory, each child is suppose to keep his area  picked up and clutter free—How it usually works is this:  I am the chief of police, and I often remind my officers that their zone needs to be checked.
4. The clutter police can’t do their job if they don’t know where the out of place stuff belongs.  Everything, absolutely everything, must have a place.  Clutter happens for 2 reasons: one is that we don’t know where something belongs and secondly, we are too lazy to put something in its proper place.  If the kids’ backpacks are all over the kitchen counter (my zone!)  I need to ask myself where do the backpacks belong? and is it reasonable for my children to put them there?  Here is how I answer that question:  The children’s backpacks belong at their desks.  Yes, I know it is hard for them to take them upstairs to their rooms when they get home, but eventually they do need to get up to their desks, so why not now?  They do not ever need to go any place except right upstairs to their desks. This saves such a mess in the kitchen if they never land there in the first place.
5. As a
   

   As a last resort, use a basket.

   last resort, use a basket.  I think people can get carried away with baskets and bins in every room, but under certain circumstances, a nice basket can be a quick fix for a messy, cluttered room.  In my case, I have a crawling baby who leaves trails of baby toys everywhere.  Since we like having her with us no matter what room we are in (who wouldn’t—she is adorable!) we have baskets of baby toys scattered throughout the house.  You may have some circumstances where baskets might work for you, too

6. Aim to have clear surfaces.  I know I always say this, but it is so true.  Clear surfaces are easier to keep clear.  Stuff is not as easily attracted to it.  Also when your police are doing their jobs, they can easily notice that stray clutter if a surface is suppose to be clear.
7. Not only do you need to simplify your home, but you also need to simplify your life.  If your life is anything like mine, you know that things get out of hand when we have those really busy days.  Lots of stuff gets left out, drawers get dumped, and things are just dropped on the floor as we scramble about trying to accomplish everything on our schedules.   If we have one avoidable day a week like this, that is probably fine, but when this happens day after day with no respite, our homes (and lives) will seem like total chaos.  Trust me, busy lives are not worth it.  When we live this hurried pace, clutter is bound to happen, but this cause of clutter is only a small symptom of deeper problems that result when we are constantly on the run.  To be more like Mary requires a life that has time to sit and be still.  Remember that Martha was “busy and anxious about many things.”

I hope this has given you some fresh ideas, or at the very least, some encouragement for what you are probably already doing.   St. Martha, Pray for us.  St. Mary, Pray for us.

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

What’s for dinner at your house this summer?

Last week, I attended a conference in Kansas City where I gave one of my “Dinner Time” talks. After sharing all the reasons why having dinner together with your family is so important, I went on to share some of the ways that help to get this meal to the table. As always, I stressed the importance of meal planning—but wait, after being a couple of weeks into summer, I realized that I hadn’t been doing a very good job with this. OK, I hadn’t been doing it all. Gosh! What a hypocrite I am! There is just something about summer and vacation time that makes me want to take a break from it all. Who needs to eat, anyways?

But of course, we all need to eat. And I do enjoy those late dinners together while sitting out on our patio. I know that it doesn’t happen easily unless I do a little planning. So my solution for this summer is a basic menu that I will use throughout the summer—week after week. By the time I am really tired of it, fall and back to school will be here.

It works like this: I simply have the same meal on the same day of the week. When I do my weekly grocery shopping, I just need to make sure that I’ve got the food covered for all of those particular days. This menu also keeps me from turning on the oven in the hot afternoon.

Sunday is our pizza night. (I make sure we’ve got a variety of toppings.)
Monday is grilling. (I’ve bought some kind of meat that is probably marinated in something or can be put on a bun.)
Tuesday is a pasta bar. (This is served with different sauces, veggies, chopped up meat or sausage, cheese.)
Wednesday is grilling, again! (Same as before. I also serve a grilled or steamed veggie with rice or potatoes.)
Thursday is the slow cooker. (There is a little more planning for this—lots of suggestions at AllRecipes.com. I had baked potatoes and ham this week. Yes, baked potatoes in a slow cooker. Who would have thought?)
Friday is grilling. Yes, again. (Usually fish—salmon, shrimp, or tilapia.)
Saturday is Mexican Night. (Make your own burrito, nachos, or taco salad, like Moe’s—I include beans, some kind of meat, rice, salad, salsa, cheese, and always, fresh guacamole.)

I’ve done this for a week, and the family has loved it. We are actually looking forward to next week’s pasta bar where everyone has a suggestion for an addition. And both the cooking and planning is so much easier for me, especially with my husband taking on the role of Grill Master.

To make it simpler still, we serve every meal buffet style. Each person just loads up his/her plate inside and heads outside where we can all sit comfortably on our back patio to enjoy the summer evening and each other’s company.

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

The church has given us some traditional practices to help us to do that.  They are prayer, almsgiving, service and acts of charity, self-sacrifices, and studying the scriptures or other Holy writings.  I came up with a simple way to keep us reminded the whole way through Lent.  It’s a simple poster to put on your refrigerator (or wherever) that lists these out as well as providing a way to mark off the 40 days of Lent.  I made this with the whole family in mind—children and parents of all ages.  Take a look and print it out. Encourage your family to try and do at least one of these practices daily during Lent—in addition to what they regularly do. I actually printed out a copy for each of my children to put in their rooms at their desks.  I even keep one at my desk.  If you do only one thing with your family during Lent—this could be the one thing that is not only easy to do, but could be very meaningful.

Please pass this on to your other family members and friends. It’s free!

http://smartmartha.com/Documents/pauseforLent.pdf

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Besides the usual Mary feast day activities (Mass, Rosary, etc.) that you can do, this feast comes with many opportunities for a real pilgrimage to a Lady of Lourdes Shrine. There are many shrines right here in America which are replicas of the Shrine in Lourdes, France.  You may not even have to travel far!

Pilgrimages can take less than an hour —which is especially helpful in the midst of our families’ busy schedules.  And they are suited to the whole family—children, teens, and adults.  Don’t let “I’m too busy for this,” be an excuse.  Take this time to spend with the family and more importantly, pray with the family.

To make it seem more like a pilgrimage, we often say a decade or 2 of the rosary coming and going in the car and say a couple decades when we are there. I’ve listed as many shrines of Our Lady of Lourdes that I could find on the Internet.  See if there is one near you.  http://smartmartha.com/ShrinesofOurLadyofLourdes.aspx

Here is one we recently visited in Maryland.

I know there are probably more then I found on this list.  If you know of one not listed, please let me know.  But even with this list, there still may not be one close enough.  Or perhaps, the weather this time of year is not quite suitable for a pilgrimage.  Whatever the case, we have also enjoyed making our own grotto to display in our home.  This is a great craft for pre-schoolers to pre-teens.  (And yes, even teens.)

Here is a link for step-by-step instructions with pictures.  http://smartmartha.com/LadyofLourdesGrottoCraft.aspx

To instill some interest in the family prior to your pilgrimage or to wrap the evening up, I suggest the classic movie: Song of Bernadette. 

There are also 2 newer movies called, Bernadette and the cartoon version called, Bernadette, Princess of Lourdes that can be watched with the family.

There is also a new DVD just out from Navis Pictures that tells this epic story with a cast of over 150 children. It looks really good, although I’ve only seen the trailer. http://www.navispictures.com/category_s/20.htm

The fact that there are so many movies and books about this story and saint tells us that this is a great story to share with our family.

St. Bernadette’s body was found to be incorruptible after 10 years when they went to remove her body.  It can still be seen today.  Here is a short Youtube of that along with some information about her life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5711hI04mw&feature=related

Copyright 2012 Tami Kiser

Keeping this in mind, however, I do try to minimize the hectic-holiday buying, partying, and decorating spree; and to have a more focused and meaningful Advent. I want to remember where my desire is fulfilled.  I know that my family and I can get caught up in that holiday frenzy and lose everything that Advent can bring us.  Here are some steps that our family takes every year during this time to achieve that:

1) Follow the Church and use Advent as a preparation and penitential time. It is not the birthday party; it is the preparation for the birthday party.  Follow the guidelines and examples of the church.  The color for the season is purple—which means a time of repentance.  It is a little like Lent.  The church doesn’t ask us to fast and abstain during this time like we do in Lent, but we are to keep in mind that we are preparing for the beautiful celebration of Christ’s coming.  We should prepare our hearts.

Just like we don’t play the games or eat cake before the birthday party, so we should show some restraint during Advent.  As much as I am able, I try to postpone as many Christmas parties as I can during this time period.  (Nearly impossible when it depends on others, but I control the ones I can control.)  If we are going to see “Christmas Lights”, we wait until during the 12 days of Christmas, (and they are not nearly as busy then!)  We watch the Christmas specials, like Rudolph and Frosty, then.   We eat our Christmas cookies and other great Christmas foods then.  Have you noticed when your church puts out their Christmas decorations?  Can you dare wait until a few days before Christmas to put out yours?  Our new neighbors thought we were Jewish one year the weeks before Christmas because we had no Yuletide décor in our yard.  In our Baptist -Southern neighborhood, I know they all just assume that the Kisers are just too busy to get those decorations out and procrastinate every year until just a few days before.

Unlike Lent, during Advent our family tends to really celebrate those given feast days as ways to prepare us for Christ’s coming.  We learn from these saints; we honor Mary.  Some families may follow a more penitential/strict type of Advent. We control what we can control and try to use all the other Christmas activities as a means to prepare us for Christ’s coming, like if the grandparents have to show up before Christmas to deliver their gifts—what a blessing to have such generous grandparents who love us!

2) Keep it simple! Sweetheart!  You know it is the time of year when we have more activities, more programs, and more on our plate, despite our plans to try to reduce these Christmas activities.  This means that we just need to try to simplify in other ways.  Although I have a full calendar of Advent activities (which is posted on my webpage) I still simplify my schedule by postponing dentist appointments, making easier meals, suggesting that weekly or monthly meetings skip meeting in December, and foregoing any big time chores this month (like clean the carpet, clean out the attic, etc.).

3) Make a schedule, but know that everything is optional and interchangeable! You can see my schedule. www.SmartMartha.com/celebrationsadvent.aspx For me, if I don’t schedule it, I won’t do it.  I find that if I schedule something simple everyday, it really helps our family to remember that it is Advent.  The types of activities that I plan help us to remember what Advent is all about.  Use the church calendar and your family Advent traditions in your schedule and add some new or other activities around these.  I write these activities out on little pieces of paper and these make up our Advent Calendar.  Everyday, we flip over a picture and pull out one of the papers from the corresponding pocket.  (I use the same ones every year with a little bit of switching around and adding a couple of new ones.)

4) Plan a family confession night.  And I don’t mean that we are all going to confess to each other who left the sink on in the upstairs bathroom or who left the library book out on the patio to be rained upon.  I mean find a place in your schedule when you all can go to confession together.  Not everyone needs to see the priest for confession. That should be up to everyone’s own discretion.  But everyone needs to go to at least pray in the church. (If they don’t need confession, perhaps they should pray for us who do.) Afterwards, plan something fun together—like going out for pizza.

5) Tradition!  If you want these events to happen more easily, then begin to make these happen year after year.  Tradition cuts out the planning step all together.  And if you store the plans and “props” of the tradition, that makes it even easier.  Think about if you had never put up a Christmas tree, and you just started your first one this year.  You’d put time into planning when, where, who and how.  Then, you’d have to go find all the “props” to do it.   You think it takes awhile now when you do it, but compare that to if you’ve never done it before.  When you see my schedule it looks full, but luckily for me, I’ve done most of these activities before.  I know where my books are that I read on certain days. I know where my Advent wreath is.  I know how to make a piñata. I know to save the straw from my fall decorations for my manger.  I have my Jesse tree and ornaments ready to hang.  Some big advice: Don’t try to do it all your first year.  Take your time.  Add one thing new every year.  Remember, your children need your presence, not your presents. Activities, crafts, baked goods, etc. can never substitute for your full presence to your children.  I know I sometimes get so caught in the planning and carrying the activities out, that I forget the whole purpose behind them.  Don’t let that happen to you. They are a means to a relationship with your child, not a substitute for a relationship.

6) Use an Advent bin.  It took me a few years of scrambling through all of the Christmas decorations and through the house looking for what I needed for that day, before trying to simply store all my the Advent stuff together in one bin.  This is extremely helpful if you don’t get your Christmas decorations out at the beginning of Advent.  Shortly after Thanksgiving when I collect all of my fall decorations to store, I simply pull out my Advent bin, and I am ready to go.  No more digging.

7) Get all of your Christmas shopping done before Advent begins.  I know that this sounds crazy, but it will free you to concentrate on your other Advent activities.  It will keep you out of the stores and malls.  It will keep you off of the internet searching and searching for the best deals.  It is probably too late for this Advent, but keep this in mind for the next year.  Sure there are some great deals on Black Thursday and Friday, but I’ve found that I can get just as great of deals when I am keeping my eyes open in September and October.  Spend your Thanksgiving weekend walking in the woods and playing football with the kids, not in the hectic mall.  Throw all those shopping fliers away.  Remember our children need presence, not presents.  And if you don’t find them enough presents for under the tree, well, they probably are better off without them.

8) Final Suggestion:  Only buy very thoughtful presents and only buy when necessary.  I have a section in my Smart Martha’s Guide book about having fewer toys. I have many reasons spelled out there for reducing the amount of toys our kids have. Even adults need fewer toys.  Do what you can to help reduce the gift buying, especially among adults.  Be bold and direct if you have to, “We are trying to save up a little money this year, Sis.  Let’s not buy each other Christmas presents.”  I’m not saying we should be stingy.  If you’ve got the means then spread the cash to your postman or babysitter or children’s teachers, but don’t just buy stuff to spread it around.  Make cookies and other homemade goodies. We’ve all got too much stuff.  Shopping before Advent helps us to take the time to be more thoughtful with our gifts as well as not getting caught up in the shopping frenzy that happens when we are in stores and looking through ads and buying gifts that no one really needs.

I hope you have found this advice helpful, and that it will be the beginning of a meaningful Advent and an even more beautiful Christmas.

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

Since St. Martin’s feast day falls before Advent, it has traditionally been seen as an end of harvest-type festival, before the penitential season of Advent begins. It was sort of like our Thanksgiving. St. Martin was also said to bring in winter. For us today, since we have a Thanksgiving coming around the corner, we can remember and celebrate St. Martin as Patron of Soldiers on this Veteran day and to remember his generosity. He truly was thinking of Christ when he gave his cloak to the poor man.

Something to Do:

Take part in a Veterans Day activity. Thank our Veterans for their service. And most especially pray for Godly decisions to be made by those who serve in the military now. Go to PaperDali.com and download a picture of St. Martin of Tours to color.

Something to Pray:

St. Martin of Tours Prayer for Our Soldiers

St. Martin, you were first a soldier like your father. Converted to the Church, you became a soldier of Christ, a priest and then a Bishop of Tours. Lover of the poor, and model for pagans and Christians alike, protect our soldiers at all times. Make them strong, just, and charitable, always aiming at establishing peace on earth. Amen.

Find additional activities to live out the liturgical calendar with your family during November here.

Order Tami Kiser’s Smart Martha’s Catholic Guide for Busy Moms and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

In the remaining days of this month, let’s see what we can do to say this beautiful prayer more faithfully and fervently. Besides actually setting time aside during our day to say the Rosary, we can also add this prayer to other times in our day. Do you nurse a baby? Use this time to say the Rosary. Do you have short or long commutes? Do you have carpool lines? Say a decade or two. (The more the “Maryier.” Excuse the pun!) The promises for those who say the Rosary are “out of this world!” (Still another pun!) I look forward to the fulfillment of those promises for my loved ones and myself, but I also experience the peace that saying the Rosary gives me now, today.

With my family, we try to always say it on Sunday evenings. Sometimes this gets stale, and everyone seems sleepy or daydreaming. When this happens, we try to talk a little more about each mystery before the decade is prayed. Question your children: “What does this mystery mean to you?” You will be surprised at what your kids can come up with. Pictures can also help keep the mystery in focus. I have a Rosary coloring book that I let the youngest one color while we pray. Have you ever tried watching a video or listening to a CD on the Rosary while you pray? There are few to purchase and some online. We like this one from Youtube: http://youtu.be/D8vSUkXS2Sk

“Too busy to pray? Then you are too busy not to pray.”

It really is a paradox. Put it all in Mary’s hands and you will find your help.

Our Lady of the Rosary.
Pray for us.
Mary of Bethany.
Pray for us.
Martha of Bethany.
Really pray for us

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

I want more for them than just video games. I want them to experience all that real life has to offer.

I want more for them than living vicariously or dreaming for the shallow and unchaste relationships presented in some magazines, TV shows, and movies.  I want them to develop healthy and respectful relationships with members of the opposite sex in real life fun settings.

I want more for them than just Facebook friends; I want them to have face-to-face relationships with other teens who they can truly care about and be truly cared for.

I want more for them than just the latest clothes or stylish haircut; I want them to learn the value of true beauty and acceptance not based on their looks or ability to buy the latest items.

I want more for them than just their own car, either new or used; I want them to learn the value of the dollar and the hard work and responsibility required before owning a vehicle.

I want more for them than just an Iphone or other handheld device; I want them to have some safety from the Internet and from addictive games.  I want my children to know how to handle boredom.

I want more for them than just an Ipod or mp3; I want them to engage in conversations with those around them, particularly those of another generation. I also want them to experience silence.

I want more for them than fast food, soda, and junk food; I want them to taste real food  and appreciate the work and time it takes to have real food.  I also would like them to enter adulthood feeling healthy without sickness and lively without caffeine.

I want more for them than getting everything they want now—new soccer cleats, new bike, latest video game, new CD; I want them to learn patience and a truer appreciation that comes from earning these things, preferably over time. Getting everything you want curiously leads to discontentment.

I want more for them than watching hours of TV and movies; I want them to have a true sense of reality that often gets lost in many, many TV shows and movies. Better to have a select few to watch and take the time to judge what message is presented.  I also want them to have more time to read good books.

These are some of the things I want my teens to have more of so that they can experience a fuller and more meaningful life.  It means that they will have less or sometimes none of the others.   I know that they do need to learn how to handle these “distractions.” The trouble with these distractions is that they are all too easily available when we have free time, like summers! When challenged and taught to judge these distractions, our teens can choose to spend their free time wisely, keeping these “distractions” to a minimum.  However, our teens need to be taught how to judge.  Parenting by keeping the kids constantly busy or parenting by keeping a hands off approach will not achieve this.  Parents and teens need dialog that goes along with all of the no’s.

That is why many of these items are not forbidden in our home, but limited and judged together.  But like many of today’s parents, I often let my children give into many of these distractions while I myself am busy with my own.  Good parenting takes time. This manifesto is a reminder to me to hold fast and to keep in sight what I really want for my children.  It may seem counter-cultural at times or swimming against the stream to live with such limitations on our children today, but the “more” that is promised is definitely worth it.  The time taken for our children to judge and learn the benefits of limits on these “distractions” will be rewarded exponentially as our children enter into adulthood not only more disciplined, but already experiencing the “more” life has to offer.

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

What I am proposing this summer for myself and for anyone who wants to join me is the “¼ challenge.”  I am literally going to get rid of ¼ of all of the stuff in my home.  This is going to be tough, but I’ve started already, and I’m pleased with the results. (Please check out my webpage to see some of my ¼ clean-outs. http://smartmartha.com/firstmonthlytip.aspx )

This may seem like a lot of “Martha” business over the summer, but this little bit of anxiety about getting rid of our stuff can make it easier for us to have that “Mary” time to spend with our Lord, our families, and our friends. When I have less stuff cluttering my life, I feel like I can pay more attention to people, to God, and to the moments God has given me.

To me, having some clear spaces serves as a visual reminder to look past the stuff and to what God is asking me to see. Not only does less stuff make less work for me so that I do have more time for God (like instead of having more dusting to do or more time spent searching for something), but even the physical presence of less stuff frees me up emotionally to focus more on Jesus and not feel “bogged” down in all of my mess. I know we didn’t all take vows of poverty when we became housewives, but there is something to the simple life of monks and nuns who don’t spend so much time shuffling their possessions so that they can devote more of their time to serving their Lord.
And yes, I do know that God is in the housework, too. We can find him when we are dumping out our drawers to declutter. We can find him and talk to him when we dust.

Let’s pray to God in our ¼ challenge clean-out for wisdom and perseverance. Let’s pray that in our “lighter” house that we would see him more.

Sts. Martha and Mary of Bethany, pray for us

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

I’ve tried to take the best of both approaches—Do good penance during Lent and lose some extra pounds.  But unfortunately for me, sometimes the vision of losing weight gets in the way of the other.

This year, I am trying a different form of penance.  Eating. Not just eating randomly whenever and whatever I want, but keeping my eating to just during mealtimes (in other words, no snacking) and to prepare and sit down to a complete dinner with my family (meats, sides, veggies, fruit—but no dessert) on most nights.  My desire to snack still keeps me on my toes to desire Christ.  But perhaps the biggest penance is planning, prepping, and serving the dinner even when I’m tired, or don’t feel like it, or in the midst of a hectic schedule.

Often times in Lent I hear priests encouraging us to “give something” for Lent instead of “giving up something.”  Taking care of my family in this way is great way to give myself to them.  I’m trying to go the extra mile by serving better, healthier foods.  I’m making more from scratch and using fresh foods.

And the results?  I may not be losing any weight, but so far the results of sitting down with my family at dinner on a regular basis have been wonderful.  I’ve even heard a few appreciative remarks for the tasty meal.  Since it’s Lent, we have a daily conversation of how our Lent is going.  (My kids still give up a favorite food and/or activity.)  We also talk about some of the Lenten observances that we did together as a family—we took part in praying at an abortion clinic one day.  And we talk about what we would like to do—we would like to go to confession this week.  We still have the seemingly superfluous conversations about superheroes and video games, but this week we also discussed the disaster in Japan and a neighborhood arrest.  We’re helping our children learn to judge these events and their own lives by means of these simple conversations.

It’s no wonder many recent surveys have come out about the benefits of eating dinner together.  Fellowship and food can only lead to great things.  They are, after all, an integral part of our worship service, the Mass.

I will try to continue with the dinners after Lent, of course.  But Lent always comes at a time when I need some kind of boost.  And the boost I needed this year was to eat!  To eat with the family and spend time with them.

For anyone in the Western Carolinas:  I am taking part in a Women’s Conference solely about dinner.  It is called, “Dinner’s On.” There will be many tips given to help get “dinner on” the table as well a reflection, Mass, a cooking demo and a catered lunch.  It is on March 26 in Greenville, SC. For more info: www.SmartMartha.com/dinnerson.aspx

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

I think as mothers who read columns like these or even when we converse with other moms we need to be careful about comparing ourselves.  We look at these “Super Moms” and wonder how they do it all.  These kinds of comparisons are not helpful.  God has given each of us our own balls to juggle.  Some of us may have many balls that we are juggling and making it look like a breeze.  There may be some of us who are struggling to juggle just 2 items. Is this because we are weak parents, poor jugglers? No. On closer inspection, we see that those 2 items just happen to be a chainsaw and a bowling ball!

See, we can’t really compare ourselves to one another. Circumstances, temperaments, and family history of ourselves, our spouses, and our children are all factors in what and how we are juggling.

In other words, God has given us each our own juggling act. We can’t look at others to see what they are juggling.  We need to only to be concerned about our own juggling.  Are you happy with what you are juggling?  Are you juggling too much?  Many women will fall into this trap.  We keep adding things to our juggling and soon find ourselves tired, stressed, and really not juggling well.  A good juggler knows her limitations.  A good mother prays to God to guide her decisions.

More is not always better. Would you rather be the juggler who is calm, relaxed, and enjoying herself while she juggles, or the juggler who is sweating, nervous, and worrying about making the next catch.

Which brings me to a final point—and yes this one is really about juggling (or is it?) Professional jugglers say that to keep all the items going, they can’t look at their own their hands while juggling, instead, they must always look up!

For more Smart Martha Advice about juggling all your mom duties consider reading Smart Martha’s Catholic Guide for Busy Moms or visit my webpage www.SmartMartha.com.

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser

Editor’s Note:  Be sure to check out Tami’s great Smart Martha website to purchase the “Kids Can Clean: The Bathroom” DVD.  LMH

Since we started a New Year, I am sure that many of you began focusing on organizing, cleaning, uncluttering, or simplifying in this new year.  Even if you haven’t formally declared any of these in a New Year’s Resolution, I am sure the thought has passed your mind that, “Hey, I really need to organize, clean, unclutter, or simplify SOMETHING.” This is why plastic bins are all on sale at Walmart!

Some of you were brave enough to declare some real New Year’s Resolutions. Was it to start a diet?  Get the kids to help out more?   Work on the virtues of temperance and fortitude?  What?  I say this last one in jest because I’ve never heard anyone actually state a resolution as nonspecific as this.  For me, though, it seems that keeping most resolutions requires the good, old-fashioned virtues of temperance and fortitude.  This is why we all struggle with keeping New Year’s Resolutions—because they usually depend on practicing virtue and not just following some list.  And since these virtues are acquired with grace and prayer and practice, just making a resolution in and of itself doesn’t cut it for very long.

Perhaps a Catholic way to approach New Year’s Resolutions is to use a few resolutions to not only improve ourselves or our families, but to actually help us work on our virtues.  We can connect a simple resolution with the virtue that we can work on while trying to keep that resolution.

So for example, I would like to lose 10 lbs in the next few months.  This requires a lot of temperance on my part.  I always have to have dessert and usually seconds.  For me, I am going to limit dessert to just once a day and have it in a smaller quantity.    This will help me with the virtue of temperance.  Remember virtues are like muscles.  The more we work them, the stronger they become.

The other resolution I set is to do the chore thing better with the kids.  I need to do a better job instructing my kids in what chores they need to do, showing them how to do them, and following through to make sure they’ve gotten them finished.  A resolution like this requires fortitude. I’m usually too lazy to follow through after the kids were supposed to have done a chore.  Sometimes I’m even too lazy to ask them to even do a chore—I don’t want to put up with the hassle of them complaining about doing it.  This is the perfect opportunity to work on fortitude. I must keep on going even when I’m tired and don’t feel like it.  I have to make the effort to walk upstairs and peek in the boy’s bathroom to see if Joseph finished cleaning.  I may also have to ask one of the older boys to sweep off the back patio even though I know I’m going to hear a hundred reasons why it really doesn’t need it or asked why another brother doesn’t have to do it.  This is the nature of most children.  Unfortunately, when mothers and fathers lack fortitude and become weary and tolerant of these ways, the children learn to keep wearing the parents down.  Have you felt worn down?  Think fortitude!  I can keep going, and I can keep my kids going!  Keep working that “fortitude muscle” in yourself and in your children.

Of course, I’m always up for a choose-the-better-part-and-be-like-Mary resolution to start the New Year. This will be something like adding an extra prayer time, reading something spirtitual, or attending Mass more often. Usually I’ll stick with this for about a month and then, thank God, Lent comes around, and I will start it again!  And the second time around I usually can manage doing it for the whole forty days of Lent.  I am trying something simple this year that hopefully I can keep doing.  I am starting my day with a perpetual novena prayer to St. Therese to ask her help to live her “little way” as I go about my busy activities.

Do you have New Year’s Resolutions that you have set for yourself?

What virtues will need to be exercised to help you keep them?  Is there a “Mary” resolution that you’d like to become a regular part of your day or week?

Even though Jan 1^st is past, it’s not too late to think about setting a couple of resolutions for yourself—if the whole year seems to much to ask, then just make one for today.

Sts. Mary and Martha of Bethany, pray for us!

Copyright 2011 Tami Kiser