CatholicMom.com » Tanya Weitzel

From Take-Out to Frozen

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 09 May 2012 20:19:32 +0000

As an artist, I love to create. One activity I really enjoy is cooking. But not just any cooking, sneaky cooking. I love taking the Sneaky Chef recipes and putting my own spin on them. I also take regular recipes and and make them sneaky by adding vegetable and fruit purees. My sneakiness has even gone to the level of adding purees to frozen meal sauces. I can’t help myself; it is a habit.

My family and I have been following a budget over the last few months. We have turned take-out Tuesday into frozen dinner night. This change has led to my over-the-top sneakiness. I really like this change for financial and heath reasons. I still get a night off of cooking, my boys get their “take-out” food, and I even get to add sneaky ingredients depending on the meal. I don’t mind cooking every day; in fact, I look forward to it. But sometimes it is nice to eat someone else’s cooking. Frozen meals tend to be healthier than take-out food, and the nutrition labels are right on the box (though some restaurants have them listed on their websites). Plus, I can sometimes make them sneaky.

Also, I don’t like having too much food in the house, because that is what leads to overeating. Whenever we would get take-out pizza, the leftovers were used for snacking, rather than just as an extra meal. I don’t miss eating out as often. Staying home and taking out a frozen family meal from the freezer is a lot easier than deciding which restaurant to order from. Nor is it an easy task to pick up take-out with a toddler.

As a family, we enjoy doing the frozen meals once a week almost more than take-out. We still have a special night of the week that we eat something “like” restaurant food. I have found great deals on frozen family meals at Aldi, Save-A-Lot, Target and other grocery stores. Sometimes I have special coupons and can even double $1 ones on certain weeks. I just took advantage of the double dollars last week, and now I have an assortment of different meals to choose from on Tuesday.

Instead of searching restaurant menus online (which takes me forever to decide), all I have to do is look in my freezer and pull a meal out. I usually make a salad or vegetables and dip to round out the meal. It is a time and money saver. And time is definitely money. I spend less time cutting out coupons and buying meals at the grocery store, than the time it would take to decide on a restaurant every week, along with driving there.

Our frozen meal night is a wonderful tradition that we have started. There have been a couple of instances where we did go out on a Tuesday because of a special event going on. But, I’d much rather stay home and have something frozen. My time with my family is more important than wasting it getting food from a restaurant. Thanks to Stouffer’s, Digiorno, and Newman’s Own, we can have restaurant quality at home.

Accomplishing Dreams as Mothers

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:00:16 +0000

As mothers, we may tell our children they can be anything they want to be, but do we believe that for ourselves? We spend all our waking hours (and sometimes our sleeping ones too) worrying about the welfare of our families that we do not usually take much time for ourselves. Are we accomplishing our own dreams? Motherhood is a dream in itself, but maybe other dreams were given up in exchange for it. Do we have the desire and the faith to do both?

It is important for our children to have us as models of good faith in God and His purpose for each one of us. If we put forth the effort in order to follow ambitions we have, our children will want to do the same. The outcome is not all that important, just the preparation and belief in the dream itself. Seeing the joy that we experience by following our dreams is a wonderful thing for our children. We will be happier moms and better wives, and our children will see that we are deeper than just our “Mom” titles. We are people of faith, dreams, and love just like they are.

If we open ourselves up and reveal our needs, our families will be better able to love us. There are many times moms let their desires fade instead of awakening their hearts and callings. Our children will only need us for a part of our lives, and our husbands are adults who could manage a little while without Mom. God asks us for our whole lives and He wants to answer the callings that He created in us. Letting God fulfill our deepest longings can only bring our families closer together, and in turn, closer to God.

Numbness Taking Over

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 19:00:44 +0000

Photo Credit: Scott Liddell, Morguefile

When did I stop feeling?
Pain,
happiness,
the touch of the one I love?

So plain and wooden,
hard and cold,
almost as if inhuman.
Where’s the sensitivity
I had growing from within?
The softness of femininity
and concern for every one?

Burden by the everyday tasks
and falling in between.
No longer able to breathe above it all
and struggling to just be me.

It should be easy to be oneself,
but somehow it is harder.
Everything around me
tells me otherwise.

Who am I?
Only Gods knows that.
So I guess I will have to ask Him
to show me the inner me.

Attitude Toward the Physical World

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 19:00:09 +0000

Ever since my son had his third birthday party, his attitude has declined. This attitude shift is partially due to a lack of sleep, but also from the overwhelming sensation of having new toys. Material possessions can change our outlook and attitude on life. God has already told us, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also,” (New American Standard Bible, Matt. 6:19-21). Where we invest our time and energy develops our character and attitude overall in life.

If we allow it, “stuff” can get in the way. Our surroundings make us who we are, and we are the ones to make those decisions. By immersing ourselves in spiritual investments, we can draw closer to our Lord. Our relationship with God cannot be taken from us the way a flat screen television can. It is the invisible that gets us to heaven. Others may look at us like we are different or strange, but only God knows what is written on our hearts. Our hearts are tied to everything we do and that is how we are defined.

Lent gives us the chance to let go of worldly and material possessions to better focus on our purpose. By uniting ourselves with Christ on the cross and making sacrifices, we are pursuing spiritual fulfillment. Mannerisms toward material things will diminish as we draw into our souls with God. The development of our souls will be displayed through our attitude, which will draw others in. And maybe, we can help others to do the same for their relationship with God.

Making New Friends through Parenthood

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:00:10 +0000

I find that as my path in life changes, I grow further away from old friends. Some friends remain there despite the differences. As new relationships come my way, I have to make the choice to let those friendships develop. It is difficult to open up to new possibilities, but sometimes, it is necessary. I find that the friends I meet now have more in common and understand my situation better for they are living in similar circumstances. They leave me feeling uplifted and supported. I feel less alone and more part of a bigger picture.

When outsiders look in, they tend to come off more opinionated and less helpful. I am finding that people who are going through the same trials can empathize more easily. The more outside of my comfort zone I get, the better I hope these new relationships will become. Being a stay-at-home mom, I really need other women to talk to who will understand what I go through daily. It is refreshing to know that I am not the only one out there who has these feelings. Hearing the same discipline, eating, and other parenting problems from another person is comforting.

It doesn’t always feel like I do the right things, but I am trying. God has given each parent the gift to nurture and love their children and all he asks is that we do our best to fulfill their needs. Every day is a struggle, but knowing that there are others out there makes parenthood the blessing it truly is.

Longing During Lent

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:30:05 +0000

Lent is a time for reflection. It involves prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Some of these practices do not always feel like they have the same level of meaning that one hopes for. One still participates with the same intentions, because the graces are still received from the acts. In the Catholic faith, there are times for meditation and times for rejoicing. Lent is a time to look at one’s life and what one can do to better draw closer to the Lord.

Prayer is a way to develop holiness during a regular day. Conversing with God can help one to become more aware of one’s purpose in life. Actions become more Christlike, as one longs to be nearer to him. The further one is from God, the harder it becomes to imitate him. Just as the more time one spends with a certain friend, the more one tends to act like that person.

Fasting can be from food, as with Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, or abstaining from meat on Lenten Fridays. It can also be giving up something that takes up time that could otherwise be used for God. In these days, social networking, the internet, and television seem to consume a lot of time in families. Maybe devoting less time to these technological outlets, and instead, spending more time in spiritual development could be a good way of fasting.

Almsgiving is tied closely to fasting, and can involve giving up time or possessions. Going through some old clothes and donating them to those in need can be an act of almsgiving. Maybe spending some time volunteering at a soup kitchen can bring one closer to God during Lent.

No matter how one decides to journey through Lent, all the way one is longing for the coming of Christ at Easter. As long as one makes effort to focus on the true meaning of Lent, there will be graces that follow. Enjoy the journey, and He will rejoice with you at His coming!

A True Friend

Tanya Weitzel — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:00:50 +0000

A friend is there
regardless of the hour
or circumstances.
Nothing is secret
as everything is laid out
for one another to see.

True, honest,
and genuine
a friend is indeed.
Someone to celebrate
and mourn with
over a cup of hot tea.

Trials come,
but the relationship remains unbroken.
There is no harming
a strong bond of love.
There is no question
as to when it will end,
because a true friendship will last
for miles and miles.

Sprinting doesn’t lengthen it;
for it is more like a marathon.
Love is eternal.
That is where the heart of a friend lies.

Living As God’s Creation

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:00:03 +0000

God made us beautiful as women, yet some of us spend a lifetime living as someone else only to find we never really lived. In an attempt to not be controlled, we control ourselves by the same guidelines that we are fighting against. But why are we fighting? Instead of thriving in our true beauty, we are striving to be beautiful in the World’s eyes. God already has made us in His image, which is far more captivating than anything in this world. We are so full of fear that we bury the true essence of what God made us to be: living souls. Jesus invites us to trust him and enter into ourselves.

I grew up believing that it was better to become a man. Competing seemed to be the underlying theme in school, and I was encouraged to fend for myself. Mistrust and fear became barriers as I wore my mask. I never felt secure in being beautiful or captivating, so I busied myself in my studies. Hidden away, I showed only what everyone else wanted to see and my girlhood dreams disappeared. There was no more waiting for Prince Charming or playing house, this was a man’s world. In order to survive, I was convinced I had to dry my tears, compete, and harden my femininity. Sadly, I forgot what I once longed for and could no longer distinguish my core dreams. I was always told I could be anything when I grew up, but I was never allowed to become a woman. Now I feel incapable of releasing my inner soul. I am looking to God on how to be myself as He made me. For He is the only one who can help unveil my true identity.

As women, we are so busy taking care of everyone else that we forget God fights for our love. He wants to delight in us, and us in Him. If we only put our trust in Him, our unnecessary burdens will be lifted. Praying for peace in myself, I hope you are finding yours as well. God bless you in your journeys.

Without the Answer

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:30:43 +0000

I feel like he is asking
something I cannot answer.
A question of strength
from a creature of beauty.

Unsure, he wanders.
Searching for the One,
when God is waiting
to cure his wound.

Beauties come and go,
but God is forever.
He is strength and beauty
in one being.

The man must go to his Creator
in order to know the truth.
The man who hopes to find it elsewhere
will be lost until he returns.

Living Without Power

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 22:00:14 +0000

It is interesting to watch one’s community unfold during a huge power outage. Recently, Connecticut and its surrounding states had an October nor’easter and thousands were left for days or weeks without power. Our neighbors gathered together in the street and wished for hot coffee every morning. One neighbor had a generator and offered room in his refrigerator for another. There were nightly meetings outside about when the power might be back on.

High schools opened up for showers and shelters, and some towns gave out hot meals. The longer without power, the less one felt alone. The last night our house temperature had gotten down to 47 degrees Fahrenheit, and I was so close to bringing my son, Linus, to the high school shelter. Yet, there had been hope earlier that evening when we saw the power trucks on our street. They were cleaning up branches and making way for our power to be restored. The neighbors were hoping to see the game on cable that night, and I wanted Linus to finally be warm. Our family was in need of a hot meal and a warm house, but we knew we would not have much longer to wait.

The second we had hope, some turned to the necessities, while others looked forward to the luxuries. As much as I missed having a nice cup of coffee, I was more worried about my son’s safety. In the wee hours of the next morning, I lied in bed praying for Linus’s comfort as I heard the sound of the heat coming through our radiators. My husband and I were so joyful that we awoke to share in some hot decaf coffee before returning to bed. We are so lucky for all that we do have, because many have little hope. But we can always find comfort in Jesus. As we approach His coming, we can meditate on our blessings and be more generous to those less fortunate.

Starting Traditions for Advent

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:30:03 +0000

With Christmas right around the corner, and my son on his way to turning three in March, I find myself reflecting on Christmas traditions that I enjoyed as a child. I remember waking up Christmas morning, so eager to see what was under the tree. My parents watched us open our stocking gifts as they sipped on coffee. Gathered around the Christmas tree, My brother or I would be Santa, and the other his elf, passing out the presents. Every gift was opened in its own time, and each one was special. There was magic and a true spirit of Christmas. As you get older, you miss out on the love and giving aspect of Christmas. Christ gave his life for us, without expectations.

Yet instead of the gift of ourselves or our time, we find ourselves at the mercy of commercialism. In this economy, money for gifts is hard to come by. Expectations are high, and the price tag seems more important than the thought. Sometimes I wish gifts were not expected, but a pleasant surprise. We are so lucky and blessed with what we already own. The idea of getting more “stuff” is sometimes a weight I wish didn’t exist.

In recent years, I have prided myself in not shopping on Black Friday. I would rather stay snuggled in at home with my family and enjoy Thanksgiving leftovers. Looking forward to the season of Advent, with all the liturgical changes, I find myself at peace. The more priority I give my own family, the greater my love seems to grow. That love is what Christmas should be focused on.

The beginning of Advent is almost upon us, and preparing ourselves for the Lord’s coming is of the utmost importance. Advent seems to slip under us, as the commercialized Christmas is thrown in our faces. I am working on keeping the true meaning of Christmas alive in our family, and I hope you are too. Do you have any traditions that bring out the true Christmas in your own homes?

A Mother’s Love for the Sickly Child

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:00:39 +0000

When a child is sick, all they want is for their mother to lovingly hold them. My son, Linus, has not been feeling well the past couple days and has been asking constantly for me to hold him. He has also been nursing more frequently, and even Lightning McQueen from Cars has been unable to console him. Linus has turned down cookies, candy, and even ice cream. What normal child would do such things?

Tuesday is our family’s normal take-out night and I ordered one of Linus’s favorite meals. Since we are visiting Vermont this week, it was essential to order the macaroni and cheese with real Cabot cheddar. Linus refused to eat any of it. Normally he would gobble down this delicacy, but not in his current condition. His transformation from a non-stop toddler to a hazy lazy baby has baffled me. I am concerned for his well-being and miss his normal active state.

Sometimes it is nice to slow down, and since we are on vacation that is a good thing. There are some places I would like to visit while we are in Vermont, so I hope he will be feeling better soon. Part of the problem is that his sleep schedule has been knocked off course, and he is not in his own home. He seems a little disoriented and very sleepy. Hopefully I can nurse him back to health (literally).

A child loves the comfort of his mother in times of need. We all have our heavenly mother, Mary, who is always there to help us. I am Linus’s earthly mother, and I must do the best I can to nurture and protect him. My role is even more vital at this time, and as frustrating as it is, cuddling with a sick child is a blessing to experience. God has given us our children and it is nice to have the time to appreciate them.

Forever Made

Tanya Weitzel — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 03:00:34 +0000

We are not made for this life,
but something more eternal.
A life with God worth waiting for
and living now with Him.

Blessings in disguise
seem to pass us by.
He is with us now,
just stop and look around.

The colors of the leaves
as they float to the ground.
The squirrels running up the trees
and the birds singing with pride.

He is always here,
but the world of eternal life awaits us.
Live in Him and with His love
and this life will look so much brighter.

Taking It Slowly: Toddler Led Days

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 21:00:22 +0000

The outside world seems to put expectations upon us without care of the consequences. These expectations may be based on ones they have of themselves, or ones they think we should be following. Priorities are the true foundation of expectations. Where our vocation lies is where our heart is. My vocation as a mother comes first. There are times that I miss out on events or cannot always make it to daily mass, but I am doing what God has given me to do. My family comes first, before activities.

It is difficult to listen to the complaints of others when I miss a great sale at the grocery store, or neglected to make it to the free giveaway event, because I decided Linus and I needed some quality time to relax. There will be plenty of years for him in the future to rush around, so now is the time to take it easy. I find plenty of fun things for us to do, including visiting the animals at local farms and fairs. I almost have grown accustomed to the freeing feeling of throwing away a coupon that ran out. Spending time at home with my family is more important than living at the grocery stores just to save a few dollars. The time it takes to cut the coupons out, write a list, and do the actual shopping is not worth it.

I only have a few years with Linus before sending him out into this world. Enjoying this unstructured time with him is such a blessing. The extra hugs and kisses are so rewarding. There are even mornings when he tells me he would rather stay home and watch movies with me. As hard as nursing a toddler is at times due to the biting and hitting, I get to have plenty of snuggling time that I would otherwise be missing. It is sad to see him grow, but the slower we take each day, the more we enjoy one another. The vocation of motherhood never ends, but the early years are so crucial and go by way too fast. I plan on enjoying them while I can, and I hope you do too.

Taking Risks with God

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 19:00:08 +0000

There are times when God will ask us to take a risk, especially if we are discerning our gifts. I have always been known not to be a risk taker, at least according to most of my teachers. This label was mostly due to my hesitancy in raising my hand during class. But as an introvert, I do not like talking in front of big groups of people, so how does that label me a non-risk taker? Elementary school teachers are quick to define their students and describe them in the end of the year reports. Many of my teachers never really knew me or got to see my foundation of beliefs and principles. If I had been given my preferred medium in which to express myself, writing, they would have learned all that I have to offer. Unfortunately, most writing assignments are researched-based, so my teachers missed out on knowing me.

I am currently reading the book, Living Your Strengths: Discover Your God-Given Talents and Inspire Your Community. This book is about finding out what your top five strengths are and how to use them with your gifts for God. I took the quiz that came with the book and a second one that was free online. The results of the second quiz spoke more of my true strengths. I did not have sufficient time to answer each question on the first test, so the results were not as accurate, and I did not like how the questions were formed.

On the second quiz, one of my top five strengths was belief. I am very firmly planted in my faith and principles on life. Upon discovering the confirmation of these results, I received an e-mail offering an opportunity that may change my life. With hesitation and prayer, I responded to the call and took a risk. Now, I have opened a door and must fill it. At this time, I cannot go into too much detail, but this leap of faith will involve sharing a very deep and emotional journey with many others. God gives us our gifts, and He takes joy in seeing us use them. When we develop our strengths to worship our Lord, we will be repaid in indescribable ways.

Spending Can Create Person-hood

Tanya Weitzel — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 01:00:36 +0000

At 26, I still find myself having trouble controlling money. It always feels like it has a power over me. Money itself can be evil. Spending money can become additive, but hoarding it can also be taken to the extreme. There are times when hoarding gets the best of me. My hoarding is partially due to my upbringing, which I am working on slowly changing.

I grew up with a thrifty mother and a father who likes to spend. That usually is why couples balance each other out: one saver and one spender. I didn’t get to go out to eat except on vacations, and my mother used coupons to buy groceries. When she did splurge on my brother and me, she didn’t buy anything for herself. This negative view of spending was passed down to me, and I am still having trouble letting it go.

I see myself as unworthy and as less of a person. I often talk myself out of splurging, and then I continue to convince myself of my decision long after the fact. But in reality, I do not have a healthy view of money. I see it as something to hold on to and not enjoy. I am slowly getting used to splurging on myself sometimes. As I get a better grip on how to spend money, I feel my person-hood growing. I see myself more in the eyes of God and the way he loves me. His love makes me feel more important than money ever could.

Getting a Different Perspective

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:00:02 +0000

Sometimes it is refreshing to go to a different town, sit at a unique cafe, and see new surroundings. I decided to take a little day trip about 25 minutes away from my home. After treating myself to some ice cream, I am sitting in a cafe of a small independent franchise, not my usual and generic location. There are new people and things to see. This was one of those times where I just wanted to get away from the town I live in.

Stepping out of our comfort zone allows for us to learn more about the world and ourselves. God will ask us to try new things and explore our spirituality. Breaking free of the routine gives room for us to see opportunities that may be available, but hidden previously. Seeing the world from a different angle can bring empathy and vision into a new light. Discoveries may be made more easily as feelings become more pronounced. From the outside, the daily grind becomes less rigid, and it can seem more manageable.

Looking out from the cafe window, I find myself more connected and less overwhelmed. I feel a little freedom from dropping off Goodwill donations, and the fact that I have vacated to a different area of the state. It is a feeling that tingles as I embrace my new surroundings. I take a step forward and reach out for something more. God asked me to follow him, and I did. I am grateful for this day of vacating, if only for a few hours, but it is worth the effort to find out more about my soul.

Take a day for yourself or your family, and go to a new place. You may find the small world you live in is bigger than you think. I only went 25 minutes away for a trip. It doesn’t take much to feel like you are on a mini vacation.

Decisions of Purpose

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 18:00:23 +0000

There are times when God puts two paths in front of us. It is for us to decide. It could be deciding between two schools, two jobs, or two opportunities that have been placed before us. One may lead us to greater spiritual growth, while the other seems just as good. But how do you know which one is better? Prayer is essential when faced with such a choice. One may be easier, but easier isn’t always correct. Sometimes the more faith and lack of control involved, the more one will cling to God and develop in His purpose. God gives us the freewill to choose because of His love for us. When we give the control back to Him by taking a leap of faith, we show our love for Him.

Covered in sinfulness, it is hard to let go of the control due to stubbornness. The less control we have, the better. God knows what we need and the more we look to Him for our path, the more in tune we will be to our own souls. He has already seen our hearts and desires, and with that knowledge, He can guide us to our true purpose. If we give up the need for control, we can use our freewill to choose as God would. By choosing with him, He will help bring us closer to holiness.

We cannot make ourselves happy, but we can allow God to bring us joy. Through God’s plan alone, true and utter bliss can be attained. There is nothing on this Earth that can surpass what He can do, if we only open up our hearts and let Him in. He is our Lover, and He strives to show us His emotions. Every sunset, rainbow, and sunrise is for us. They are His kisses and hugs. Do we notice them? The scent of a rose, the crisp ocean breeze, and the silky skin of a baby all display His love for us. The more we see God in the little things, the easier it is to embrace Him in the bigger picture. He knows what we need, just ask Him. Our Lover, our Father, and our Friend is always there.

Creating with What One Has

Tanya Weitzel — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 17:00:01 +0000

It always amazes me how wasteful our society as a whole is, especially with food. I do my best to create meals with what I have, before buying more food. Even when leftovers become boring, I freeze them for another time, or make something new out of them. I sometimes thaw out one type of meat in order to make multiple meals at the same time. The more meals I make out of a certain food, the less waste and more variety there will be.

I plan out meals every few days, since we have a small family. I only end up having to cook every other day most weeks. For breakfast, I do a baking day where I make a bunch of muffins or scones and freeze them for later use. I love fresh baked goods with my morning coffee! Why go to Dunkin’ Donuts when I have better-for-me-muffins in my own freezer? Then, each morning I just pop a couple of goodies from the freezer into the microwave, and breakfast is served. I do the same thing with cookies, waffles, pancakes, and anything that can easily be frozen in individual portions.

The refrigerator is packed with plenty of fruits and veggies for snacking, as well as any meals that will be eaten that week. If a fruit or vegetable cannot be consumed before it will go bad, I freeze it or puree it for sneaky ingredients (like for recipes from The Sneaky Chef). My grandma had made a sweet potato soup that nobody at her house wanted, and I had already made a soup myself that week, so it became sweet potato pies! I refrigerated one, and froze a second for later on. I always look forward to enjoying something delicious in weeks to come, knowing that I don’t have to cook it again.

Leftovers also make great snacks. I don’t buy chips and other unhealthy snacks much, so leftovers become snacks. I feel a lot better knowing my husband is up late at night munching on my chicken lo mein with lots of veggies, than eating a whole bag of Doritos. It gives me peace of mine to know that there is always something delicious and healthy in the fridge to eat, and that the food won’t go to waste.

Family Dinner Time

Tanya Weitzel — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 21:47:52 +0000

I wish my husband’s schedule allowed for us to have a real family dinner every night. At this time, we can only have dinner together twice a week. Family dinner is important for talking about the day, giving thanks to God, and just spending time together. It is hard to go to bed and then talk about the day before the next morning with my husband. The time has passed and it feels strange to go to the next day only to go backwards. Discussing how the day went is crucial for communication, but it makes so much more sense to do it at the closing of the same day. I feel we miss out on that time that other families are lucky to have, and we really need that time to sort through the daily grind. The days seem to merge together without any time for reflection as a family. It makes it hard to communicate on anything when our days just go on and on.

We are on completely different schedules, including the weekends. Linus and I wake up and go to bed early. Half our day is over by the time my husband gets up, since he goes to bed around 2 a.m. most nights. Sometimes this frustrates me and I end up rushing my husband to get going in the morning. I make bitter responses because I feel I have accomplished so much already, while he got to sleep in peace. Seeing as he is not a morning person doesn’t make it any easier. We are both praying he will get a different job so some of our schedule problems can be resolved.

I also find dinner very lonely. There are times when I don’t even eat a full dinner and just have a couple snacks. It is hard enough to get Linus to eat, since he loves his “Memes,” but when I get by on snacks, it is not the best example. Dinner just seems so pointless when it is just us two. By that time of the day, I am so tired I just want to relax and get ready for bed. Linus is ready to play outside, get tired out, and then calm down for sleeping. I really need “grownup time” at the end of a day with a toddler. I end up leaning too much on my mom for that conversing that I long to have with my husband, my best friend, at the end of a hard day. That time would only bring us closer and make empathizing so much easier.