Why I Love Summer Vacation

Every year, along with my children, I start counting the days until summer break. We don’t usually have big summer plans or exciting vacations planned.

Our excitement is that we get to be together every day. Yep, just ‘be’. We can go to the library any day we want and stay as long as we want. We can do crafts that tickle our fancy. We can garden, go to Mt St Helen’s, or Fort Vancouver and stay as long as we want—or not. We can stay in our pajamas all day should it seem like a good idea or just because we want to. When its hot, we can argue over which movie we are going to watch for the afternoon and eat popcorn as our lunch. We have 8 weeks of complete and total freedom from leaving the house and we get to be together.

I have to admit my jealousy over the teachers that get to spend 7 hours with my children Monday through Friday. I carried these children inside of my body for 9 months, surely that should give me more time with them in the afternoon and evening!

If we are lucky, my husband and I get 4 hours with them before bedtime. We both hate the unfairness of it. There is always 30 minutes of mandatory reading homework, another 30 minutes or more of math to do, some science or social studies project cutting into what little time we have with our children. In addition, within those 4 hours, we have to fit a meal in there, bathe or shower 2 of them, teeth brushed, prayers said then its off to bed with them. If feels like living in a 4 hour tornado that we are trying to cram as much love and quality time as possible.

When I was growing up, I thought that being a teacher would be an ideal job. Work through the school year, get all the holidays off AND then the summer was mine to do with what I wanted !

Plans and life changed and I never got to be a school teacher. I got something better. From God, my husband and I were loaned 3 children and we get to be ‘Life Teachers’. We know that the lessons, love and time we spend with them will affect them for the rest of their life long after they have forgotten algebra or how to diagram a sentence.

I hear many parents talk excitedly about how happy they are school is starting or how they are counting the days until school starts. I say nothing. I feel the differently. I know when the school year starts again, me and our Jack Russell Terrier will look at each forlornly and counting the hours until the kids all come home.

Back in 1974, Harry Chapin recorded a song ‘Cats in the Cradle’ and it was played for many years. It was played long enough that I heard it into my teen years. The lyrics, listed at the bottom, changed my whole outlook on how children should be brought up by their parents. I thank God for that song, it changed what I knew about child rearing and personal communication with children. It changed the way I would look at my children and our relationships, and the way we would communicate and live. This one song brought some serious issues into my mind while I was still in high school, long before I planned on getting married or even having a serious boyfriend. Some things just stick in your head for life. I am glad this one song stuck in mind.

It reminded me of some of my own childhood and phrases spoken in our home of parents not making time to spend time with their children. Though I was born in the 1960’s, my parents believed that a child should be seen and not heard. I decided I would not be that sort of parent. Thankfully, I married a man with the same beliefs.

In the beginning part of the song, shortly after the son’s birth, the son learns to walk, but the father isn’t there, he’s away on business. Later the father gives the son a baseball as a birthday gift, and promises ‘later’ but still the son loves the father enough to want to grow up and be like his father. The son bears no grudges, according to the song. Things start to change when the son comes home from college and the father tells his son he is proud of him and wants to talk, but the son only wants the car keys, please, and promises they will talk later (just like dad had always promised him). Time moves on and the father has retired, calls up his son and would like to come visit. The son says ’ work is a hassle and the kids have the flu, but it’s been great talking to you Dad.’ From the sounds of it, the son still harbors no ill will toward being brushed off all those years. The son seems to still have no grudge toward his father, but he did become just like Dad.

An old priest had told me once “Children are only on loan to you. God has loaned them to you for only a very short time. Use the time wisely. Listen to your children and what they have to say because if you don’t, there will come a day when they won’t make the time to talk to you or want to talk to you…if you don’t make the effort when they are young. They will remember if you were too busy to look at their art work or accept a hug. “ Those words have stayed with me for all these years and I have living proof they are true. My 16 year talks to me about everything, daily. As do the 9 year old and the 7 year old. After school time is essentially our daily gossip time as to what went on at school: who said what, who got asked out, who got detention, who got the Thinking Spot, who went to the principal’s office, fights on the playground and outfits that were simply ghastly (from the 16 year old and the 7 year old viewpoints).

After hearing this same song many years later, I remember promising to myself when I was pregnant with my first child, I would listen to what my child had to say or show me, no matter what I was doing. I have kept that promise with all 3 children and with my husband. So what if we eat a little later or we are late for an event. The way my husband and I look at it, if there is something so important in our child’s mind, they feel the need to talk to us , we owe it to them to listen and answer or explanation if one is needed. Sometimes it’s just a drawing. Other times, its how does an elevator work. My favorite is “Just wanted to say I love you” or “You are the greatest macaroni and cheese maker in the world Mom.” I remembered what that wise old priest said to me and knew how it had affected my own life growing up and how I was not going to let it be that way for my children.

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As promised, below are the lyrics to ‘Cats in the Cradle’ by sung by Harry Chapin in 1974 and I’ve added a link to his a live performance of the song to those of you that are too young to know the song.

Youtube link
Cats In The Cradle Lyrics
sung by Harry Chapin 1974
released 1974
genre –folk rock
length 4:02
label –Elektra Records
written by Harry Chapin & Sandra Chapin, producer Paul Leka, certification-Gold

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon (Chorus)
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon (Chorus)
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon (Chorus)
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon (Chorus)
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

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So, now you know another of my secrets. I love summer break and hate the first day of school. I am pretty sure I am not the only one out there that feels that way.

In closing, no matter how crazy your kids may make you during summer break, enjoy the time with them. Try being a little crazy with them. Make a pact to spend one day a week in your pj’s all day and watch movies together with a popcorn lunch. Spend a week of not leaving the house, you’ll be surprised at how relaxing it is. Don’t take your cell phone with you when you shop with your children. Whoever it is will call back or leave a message, but your children won’t stop growing up.

When school starts again, it’s back to you only getting 4 hours with the children God loaned you. As for me and my family, we relish the 4 hours and greedily want more time with our children. I can honestly say I love my children enough to be greedy about time with them.

There is always something they forgot to tell us earlier in the day or papers that need to be signed. My husband and I take turns who answers the calls from the bedrooms, because we know, whoever goes gets those extra good-night hugs and kisses.

Pax,
Lori Callaway

(sadly counting the days until school starts…sigh)

Lori Callaway is married to her best friend Scott and mother of 3 children, all of whom are her inspiration and fodder for her freelance writing. Her hobbies are knitting (as a lefty), rosary making, sewing, cross stitching, crafts and ¾ to full time genealogist and history nut. She currently lives in one of the giant metro areas the Pacific Northwest of the US after having grown up in American’s idea of a perfect mid-western small town. Lori is also an RCIC teacher. If you have any comments or questions about my column or writing, please contact me at LoriCallaway@gmail.com