Blessed, Beautiful and Bodacious by Pat Gohn

We still buy the lie. Women are told that if they want to be successful in the world, they have to be more like men, or like a how-to-succeed-in-business stereotype. Aggressive, detached from commitments; and self serving. No softness, no vulnerability, and certainly no thinking of others. We have to put ourselves first or we will never succeed and be fulfilled. Its in every women’s magazine, in daytime talk shows, self-help books and on the web. We have to put off having children and getting married, putting our work lives in first place above all, before our marriage. That will bring us happiness, they promise.Women wait so long to get married that they often miss their opportunity to have children and pursue costly IVF procedures in a desperate attempt to ‘have it all’.

We see this model of success at all costs in Hollywood, yet what do the biggest starlets long for, the ones who have it all, fame, money, the best roles, the perfect body and the enviably handsome man? They want time off from Hollywood to have children, to have a private life where they can devote themselves to those they love, their children and their husband.

That should tell us something.

The desire to be receptive to love and to give of ourselves completely in love is built into the female heart. It is the key to fulfillment as a woman, no matter what role you play in the world. Pat Gohn in “Blessed, Beautiful and Bodacious; Celebrating the Gift of Catholic Womanhood” takes the reader by the hand and gently talks to her inmost soul where these desires lie ignored, gently coaxing the reader into allowing her innate femininity flourish, and blossom into authentic womanhood.

Using down-to-earth, inspiring stories from her own life, Pat demonstrates how women can learn the ironic truth; that humility, receptivity and generous self-giving do not render us powerless, they are the keys to unlocking God’s powerful grace in our souls. Pat describes how Mary is the quintessential example, she humbly received Christ into her womb by the most generous act of self-giving possible, and the world was forever changed as a result. The humblest “handmaid of the Lord” became the most revered and respected woman of all time “all generations shall call me blessed”.

I was moved by Pat’s honest personal stories of how she evolved from a “I am woman hear me roar” feminist to the authentically Catholic, happy, fulfilled, self-giving woman she is today. She overcame tremendous challenges in her life and, thanks to friends who built her up and mentored her, she grew in her ability to love and give of herself.

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Copyright 2013 Leticia Velasquez

Today, we continue last week’s interview conversation with noted author and CatholicMom.com contributor Patti Maguire Armstrong.

Patti Maguire Armstrong

Q: Welcome back Patti! Please tell us about your second new book, Dear God, I Don’t Get It.

A. Dear God, I Don’t Get It was so much fun to write.  Kids are getting to the end and starting it over again; reading it two and three times. Even adults have told me, “I couldn’t put it down.”  Since this is my first children’s book, these responses are beyond my expectations.

The story blends drama, humor, and inspiration in a fictionalized story to address questions faced when prayers seem not to be answered―most importantly, “Is God even listening?”  Kids don’t usually read religion books but they absorb exciting stories effortlessly.

Q: This book is aimed at young readers. How does that differ from writing for adults?

A. One difference is that I need to be more careful with my vocabulary so I don’t lose kids.  Another difference is that this is a work of fiction and my adult books are all non-fiction.  That’s where the differences end, though.  In both cases, I want to present faith in an inspiring and engaging way—the sort of way that people really don’t want to put the book down.

In the “Amazing Grace” series and most recently Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories from Everyday Families, I wrote exciting, true stories of God’s grace working in people’s lives.  I was careful not to have people feel preached at.  It was the same with my children’s book.  The main character, Aaron, is just a regular boy navigating his way through life but sometimes struggles with his faith life.  Kids are intrigued by the story and don’t feel preached at, but just like my adult books, they experience God’s grace through the story.

Dear God, I Don’t Get It

Q: What inspired Aaron’s story?

A. Feeling let down when our prayers are not answered as we hoped, is something everyone has grappled with in life. Some people ultimately lose their faith in God over it.  So the theme is  relevant to everyone.

As far as the characters—those are my three oldest boys.  Perhaps I lack imagination, but I needed to actually know my characters.  We also did move from Montana to North Dakota. The landmarks, including the house the family lives in, are accurate too so I wrote a book of fiction that is inspired by real people, events and places.

Q: Why is it so important for families to have access to books like this one?

A. It’s a Divine challenge to engage our kids in their faith. Some are more open to it than others. But wherever a child is in their faith life, this is a way to fill their hearts and imaginations with good lessons and good role models. One mother told me that after reading the book, her son had the idea to help a neighbor carry in his groceries because that’s what Aaron had done in the book.

Q: I’ve read that this is the first in a planned series. Will the other books feature the same characters? What are your goals for the series?

A. Yes, there will be the same characters and more. The second brother becomes the star in the next book and I think people will find it very humorous along with inspirational.  My goal is to continue to take elements of a faith life and have it play out in adventurous and fun stories.

Q: Thank you again for all of you lovely writing Patti and for being a part of our team here at the website. Are there any additional comments you would like to share with our readers?

A. Thank you, Lisa, for supporting Catholic Moms and Catholic writers.   In the end, I know you agree, this is all about serving God with whatever gifts he has given to us.   It’s a blessing to be able to publish books to encourage and entertain readers. I pray for everyone who has my books daily because in reality, writing a book is just the beginning.

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Copyright 2013 Lisa M. Hendey

My Road to Accepting Medication

Being pregnant is like a cloud of heavy emotion following you around, until you finally consent to let it in, when it explodes. Kind of like a storm. And you can’t. stop. crying. Because everything feels so heavy (!) and so serious(!).

However, I’m here to talk today about the fact that there’s a big difference between simply being sad, or tired, and being clinically depressed.

I take medicine each night, and without it, I would be too anxious or depressed to sleep. I don’t like the thought of needing it, especially while pregnant, but it makes my life better. I also don’t like talking about it. I’ve heard enough from others about psychiatric problems that I tend to be the one that doesn’t like to share all of my moody stories. I finally got the courage to write about depression recently, and I mentioned anxiety – the word- in a conversation the other day. And that was a big moment. And I still feel shame about it if I confuse reality with my previous perceptions of psychiatric medication.

The Stigma

I think the worst stigma about mental illness is that if you have to take medicine, you have “emotional problems”- meaning, you weren’t “raised right,” or you can’t get your issues in line through therapy, or exercise, or by seeking your faith more seriously… or (insert natural remedy here).

However, the truth is, mental illness and/or the need for medication is complicated.  Many things can trigger an emotional struggle. This year we moved, I had a baby, and I became pregnant. Starting over in a new city has really been S.T.A.R.T.I.N.G. O.V.E.R. It is not the same place it once was!  And we are not who we were when we left. We are older, we are Catholic, we have a bunch of kids, and we have changed. A lot. 

Despite setbacks, or perhaps because of external factors, the easiest route is to think, “I am normal, I am fine, I don’t need medication.” However, let me be the person who says it- it is ok to take medicine for psychiatric problems. These issues abound, and sometimes coping is too hard.  To deny it, we try to hypnotize ourselves into thinking that the facts aren’t true.  I often think I am a pretty balanced person. But if I ask my husband, apparently this is the least difficult of my pregnancies. I can’t remember how bad it must have been before, but it is a good thing I’m taking something now.

The Untold Story

Of course sarcasm and humor are very thick shields against any sort of “madness” or mental illness. And the shame and the scars are as thick as any black fog. The scars are usually accompanied by denial. The truth is, shame is sometimes (often?) associated with taking psychiatric drugs.  Most don’t talk about taking medicine with new friends. It isn’t pretty and we might be tempted to think it’s not any of their business.  You think it is easy for me to mention it, but actually I feel like it is an ugly, hideous, embarassing thing- much worse than admitting to thinking you’re fat!

I accidentally got down to one pill without noticing I needed a refill. I had a mild panic attack because last time, I ran out of refills without knowing it. It backfired and I panicked, unwilling to admit to myself the kind of rock bottom I have hit in the past. When I was first pregnant, and staying with my parents for six weeks while we waited out the close on our house, I was overwhelmed, and instead of dealing with that tiredness and anger, I acted out in my anger. I said and did things that I regret today.

The Reality: A Mix of Various Factors

Through the weeds and smoke and cobwebs, I have simply wanted people to accept me as me- the “Normal” Tacy. I want people to see a person who doesn’t hit rock bottom, who doesn’t do unexplainable things in a moment of exhaustion.  But no, there is no “Normal.” We all have issues, and these issues abound. But the beauty is that I am healing. Medicine and therapy are some of the way that I am seeking out that healing.

I can still remember the look on my husband’s face, and on my parents’ face in the weeks leading up to my current diagnosis. They looked worried- fearful. Confused.  That feeling of depression lends its way into a confusion, and bitterness at all the things you’re not. The things you’re not becoming, the things you’re not doing.  It greatly affects relationships. It is important to seek treatment at the right time. I wish I could take it all back my past anger toward God, and the moments of doubt about how beautiful I am in God’s eyes. Yet God gives meaning and he redeems the unredeemable.   And in the mean time, I am thankful for the medication that I take.

Copyright 2013 Tacy Beck

Giving thanks for holy priests…

Halfway through a game of Trivial Pursuit the other night I was struck by the infinite goodness of God, which was a most uncommon feeling for me given the circumstances. I didn’t attribute the feeling to my unlikely domination of the competition thanks to a delicate mix of heat stroke and exhaustion in my husband and brother-in-law. No, that feeling was a euphoric wave of glory, unholy pride, and disbelief at my good luck. No, this sensation was different, a deep peace and unspeakable joy that rested deep in my soul. It wasn’t related to the game but had everything to do with my teammate, our dear friend who also happens to be a holy priest of God.

As we mulled over which country had been home to the world’s first brewery, agreed immediately upon the name that had come from the Polynesian word owhyhee, and exchanged glances as one of our opponents, red and brown from the sun and sunk deep in our couch with sore feet on the coffee table, answered “the Great Wall” in response to a question about a nineteenth century building project, I was overcome with gratitude for the mercy of God.

My teammate was an alter Christus. That morning he had spoken the words of consecration and now he was laughing with us about geography. He had held the precious body of Christ in his hands and now he was reading from our Trivial Pursuit cards. His soul carries on it a unique priestly mark that identifies him as another Christ and he is our friend!

Because not only did Christ give Himself to us in the sacraments, His Body to feed us, His grace to wash away our sins, baptize souls, and heal the sick, but He gave Himself to us through His beloved priests.

In the papal encyclical Mediator Dei Pope Pius XII writes, “For they alone, in answer to an inward supernatural call, have entered the august ministry, where they are assigned to service in the sanctuary and become, as it were, the instruments God uses to communicate supernatural life from on high to the Mystical Body of Jesus Christ. Add to this, as We have noted above, the fact that they alone have been marked with the indelible sign ‘conforming’ them to Christ the Priest, and that their hands alone have been consecrated ‘in order that whatever they bless may be blessed, whatever they consecrate may become sacred and holy, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ’. Let all, then, who would live in Christ flock to their priests. By them they will be supplied with the comforts and food of the spiritual life. From them they will procure the medicine of salvation assuring their cure and happy recovery from the fatal sickness of their sins. The priest, finally, will bless their homes, consecrate their families and help them, as they breathe their last, across the threshold of eternal happiness.”

Yes, priests act in persona Christi in the sacraments and not at Trivial Pursuit. But they always carry with them their priestly mark and therefore are always a special reflection of the Lord. I need to receive Jesus in the sacraments to survive and grow in my vocation as wife and mother, and those are unique moments of intimacy on which my soul depends. But sometimes in His infinite goodness God draws near and warms my home in the familiar smiles and beloved laughs of our priest friends. And these special gifts of His presence never fail to manifest to me His breathtaking generosity.

As I waved goodbye to our dear friend as he left, I felt the usual waves of warmth and joy well up inside, gratitude for the beautiful gift of our friend. I turned and gave my beloved husband a giant hug. And I was just so happy. And it had nothing at all to do with my crushing victory.

Copyright 2013 Meg Matenaer

My wife is just entering the third trimester of her pregnancy, so I’ll take a moment to talk about a piece of technology outside of my normal routine: fetal dopplers.

This is my wife’s first pregnancy.  For any woman that has had a baby, you understand how much of an emotional rollercoaster this can be.

One of my wife’s primary concerns was the health of the baby.  Long before noticeable kicks, there was no way to tell how the baby was doing until the next appointment.

After one such appointment, I noticed that other than a quick weigh-in, tummy measure, and a few samples, the only tool used by the doctor was a small device used to hear the baby’s heartbeat.

Through the magic of the Internet, I found out that these little devices are called fetal dopplers.  They range from $25 to $500 (or more).  My wife and I purchased a Sonoline B for around $70.

When we first purchased the fetal doppler, my wife was still in her first trimester.  The baby’s heartbeat was hard to find, at first, and we even mistook my wife’s heartbeat for the baby’s.

Eventually, we finally found the baby’s heartbeat and were able to hear the miracle of life in our own home.  The sound was distinct, like a horse’s gallop (much faster than my wife’s heartbeat).

This wonderful little device offered us peace of mind when we needed it most.  It was also a fun and unique way to connect with our little one.  Overall, it may have been the best $70 I spent during this entire pregnancy.

We don’t use the fetal doppler as much anymore.  With a steady stream of kicks to remind my wife that she’s pregnant, there is less need.  Still, we occasionally pull it out to remind ourselves of the wonderful little bundle growing inside of her.

Hearing that heartbeat for the first time was a memorable experience – one I am not likely to forget.  This is a great tool for moms and dads-to-be and would be an even tool for Pro-Life ministries to use.  Whose heart wouldn’t melt when they hear the miracle of life for the first time?

NOTE:  Using a fetal doppler should not replace your normal doctor’s visit.  There are many tests that still need to be run.  In other words, go see your doctor!

Read more of our Tech Talk columns.

Copyright 2013 Chad R. Torgerson

Welcome to the 4th session of Lawn Chair Catechism, using Forming Intentional Disciples: The Path to Knowing and Following Jesus, by Sherry Weddell (Our Sunday Visitor, 2012).

A few notes:

• Our Sunday Visitor has extended the $10 + free shipping offer through July 31!
• You’ll be able to leave comments and/or leave your link at the end.
• You do not have to read the book to participate. Check out our discussion guide. There’s plenty to get started with if that’s all you use (one page a week).

This week, we’ll be covering Chapter 3: The Fruit of Discipleship.

Summary:

Sherry Weddell opens chapter three by looking inside a parish where intentional discipleship is the norm. Vocations flourish (over 1/3 of the diocese’s religious vocations coming from just two small parishes), financial support is abundant, and parishioners are actively involved in ministry within and beyond the walls of the parish.  The presence of the Holy Spirit is palpable at Mass – the fruit of a laity wholeheartedly devoted to prayer.

This, she emphasizes, should not be considered an aberration.  As a priest once shared with her, opening her eyes to a deeper understanding of lay and religious vocations, a steady flow of new disciples – Christians actively growing in their faith – is the expected fruit of priestly ministry:

No matter how many institutions we sustain or how much activity goes on in our parish or diocese, if new intentional disciples are not regularly emerging in our midst, our ministry is not bearing its most essential fruit.

Why would a ministry fail to bear fruit?  Orthodox priest Fr. Gregory Jensen writes:

I would argue that what typically happens is that we ask people who haven’t yet repented (and so who are not yet disciples of Christ) to take on work meant for apostles.

. . . We do this because we ourselves in the main are not disciples of Jesus Christ.  Having neglected repentance in my life, I am indifferent to it in yours.

. . .We cannot ask even good and talented people who are not yet disciples to undertake the works appropriate only to apostles.  And yet we do this all the time.

The standard operating procedure is backward.    The question is not, “Who can I persuade to fill this vacancy?”  The question is, “Who has God put in my parish, and what does He want them to do?”  The supernatural gifts of the Holy Spirit enable the believer to carry out his or her vocation.

For discussion:

In your own faith:

• Can you recall a “before” and “after” time in your life, when you became a true disciple of Jesus Christ?
• Have you ever witnessed that change in someone else?

In your parish:

• What success stories can you share?
• In what ministries of your parish is “discipleship thinking” the norm?
• In what areas is Christian discipleship not yet the standard for ministry?

Join the discussion!

We’ll be “talking” in the combox, too, so please leave your thoughts there as well!

Watch this video on YouTube.

An Ordination and three Gentle Giants

Three men, brave and determined men, took that final leap into a new life; complete with new titles, responsibilities, and new homes today….never to be the same again. But they prepared for this over a  seven year-span, immersed in the spiritual, biblical, and examples of those around them. They definitely had the support from family and friends, and the diocese, the church was packed!

My family came to know then Deacon Ryan last summer after the bishop appointed the newly ordained temporary deacons to posts at different parishes around the diocese.  The good deacon filled in at different events and study groups over the next several weeks.  Lucky me, I was taking the current bible study offering of the parish, Exodus, and the deacon filled in as the facilitator for a couple of sessions.  We had a blast talking with him, asking him questions and gleaning from his knowledge of the bible and all things Catholic.  Being a younger man of 27, the teens of the parish also got to know him and felt a special bond with him. Our daughters and family friend Bryan decided that they were determined to attend the ordination of their new friend when the date was set.  I agreed, so when the day came, we all got up early and headed to the big, and certainly long awaited, day’s event.

This may sound very strange coming from me, if you are a long-time reader of the “Pillars”, but this was my first ordination.  Yes, yes, I know, where have I been, what is the matter with me for not taking the time to attend such an amazing and important event as this in my Church, I have no excuse, other than the fact that it never occurred to me to attend one.

Anyway enough of the confession, this has been an experience that I will never forget.  All the pomp and circumstance and ceremonial traditions were beautiful and very comforting to be perfectly honest.  Our bishop was overjoyed since he had not ordained as many as 3 new priests at one time before, just one a few years ago and then last year 2 young men.  Our prayers are being answered, we are growing more and more priests!

My heart skipped a beat as the procession came down the aisle lead by the acolytes carrying candles, incense, and the crucifix; followed the seminarians along side the priests of the diocese.  It was quite a showing, a presence, so dynamic and spiritual!

During the ceremony there were two times when all the priests present are called to show their support for these three, the first time each priest came forward and laying hands on the men individually, prayed over them and the second time by giving them each a sign of peace. This was a beautiful sign of support and approval for the ordinates.  Of course their families and friends were present also, but there cannot be a more meaningful gesture than the support of those in the frontlines already.

We are not alone, not one of us, and watching these three new ordinates receive the support of the priests, the Holy Spirit, and the holy saints, prostrated in front of the altar while the church sang the litany saints; it was clear to me.  They made some solemn promises of obedience, received great gifts from the Holy Spirit, and accepted tall responsibilities as new shepherds during this ceremony, of which, without the help and support of the Church and all of those around them, their tasks could be unbearable, if not impossible.

The Catholic Church continues to grow and lead as Jesus Christ to the world and it is starkly obvious how important my role is, both as a mom and wife, but also as a parishioner of a parish, and a fellow Catholic Christian along side her priests and religious.  I have a responsibility to support and pray for these gentle giants in a world so cluttered with evil and darkness.  There is no other way to say this but, if WE don’t take care of these men and women, who will.  They are rarely thanked, ignored, and just simply taken for granted.  If we don’t have priests, we don’t have a Church!  If we don’t have a Church, we don’t have the support of the sacraments to keep us on the path to righteousness and glory.

Pray, and pray hard for all the priests in your diocese and around the world.  Bring them food, cards, and money.  Smile and shake their hands, give them a hug (if they allow that…ask first), and always, ALWAYS make sure they are happy, taken care of, and loved.

Our family felt so blessed to be a part of Fr. Ryan’s ordination and we look forward to getting to know Fr. Nick as he takes on the role of Spiritual Director for our high school students and our daughters.  They will remain in our prayers always along with the other priests in our diocese.

We. Are. So. Blessed!

Copyright 2013 Ebeth Weidner

That’s right. One of our profs was just as fierce and expressive as Gordon Ramsay or any of those drill-sergeant tyrants in the most shocking of reality show contests. This was architecture school, and the prize wasn’t a million dollars; the prize was just making it through with another credit towards a 5 year degree and hopefully holding on to a shred of confidence for surviving the ordeal.

Impressed by a handful of people in my program who maintained some connection to Christian Faith, and went to Church regularly, I felt compelled to find some young adults who were grounded in the Catholic Faith. After all, I was Catholic, even if I hadn’t really yet taken ownership of my Faith and couldn’t give a compelling reason for why I made it to Mass every week. I returned home for the summer after my second year, and took a chance and went to my first Young Adults meeting at a neighboring parish.

I remember waiting in that church hall with a group of others. We were sitting in chairs, politely smiling and wondering when the meeting was going to start. Suddenly, Bill walked in, formally dressed from work, with all the confidence and entertainment of a stand-up comic (or maybe an inspirational speaker). The meeting was now in full motion. Everyone was suddenly at ease, having fun and laughing.

Now, I wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship and when Bill innocently asked me if I’d like one of the ten tickets he had received from work for the circus, I assumed that this was another group event. When he arrived in his two seater Fiero, (1980′s sportscar that now sits in our driveway, solely for the climbing enjoyment of the kids) to meet only one other couple, I realized that this was essentially a double date. I laughed more in that evening than I had laughed for two years in my architecture program.

In fact, I laughed so much that I lost my voice! The circus was fun, but the company was even better. I didn’t suspect that this was more than a fun, entertaining friendship until the ride home. Suddenly, in the midst of what had been a laugh-filled evening, Bill got serious and explained how important His Catholic Faith was to him. He was cute and funny …and he was unapologetically Catholic. This could get serious.

Within a few short weeks, it was serious. By the end of that summer, I think we both suspected we would one day get married. The next 8 months we wrote letters as Bill worked and travelled from Toronto and I was in school in Ottawa. Bill sent a lot of letters that cheered me on and postcards from places he was working; places we hoped to visit together someday. My letters were usually written within photocopy collages with fragments of photos mixed with parts of my projects. I saved all of our letters and compiled them into a special scrapbook for our 5th anniversary, before scrapbooking had its’ own aisle at the craft store.

After another great summer, I prepared for my fourth year, anticipating my most difficult year yet. I think partially just to remind me of my life outside of architecture school, Bill suggested that we begin planning our wedding for the following summer.

Despite the fact that we weren’t officially engaged and couldn’t announce our plans, we met with my pastor who set the date for the following summer! Given that my mom was a part time secretary at the church with full access to the Church calendar where weddings were recorded, this was a daring move!

We knew that there were many things that needed to fall in place, and God did in fact take care of all the details. Bill was admitted to the MBA program at The University of Ottawa, after taking his GMAT. Bill received a leave from work, including a paid contract that would help with our expenses. He received full credit for his already-completed half of his MBA from one university and was transferred to the other university in the same city where I was attending school. Bill also met with my parents the night before we got engaged, but that wasn’t exactly a hurdle as my parents happily accepted him into our family.

Bill’s travel with work miraculously brought him to the city I was studying in, or cities only an hour away. He was able to visit me regularly and was happy to help me in any way he could, even if it meant watching me work, driving me around to pick up project supplies and being my ‘glue-boy’, tediously finishing the cardboard edges of whatever model I was working on.

We attended a marriage preparation class on the first weekend of my study break in February…minutes after a romantic dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant, where Bill (finally) officially proposed! We were a half an hour late for our retreat, but we were quickly forgiven when we announced that we had just moments before gotten engaged.

We had a beautiful wedding in my home parish, a wonderful honeymoon in the Keys and Disney, and then returned to prepare for school 5 hours away.
We settled into a beautiful little condo…miraculously available for the exact 8 months we needed to finish our degrees. We went to an awesome parish and further developed some special friendships that are still very important to us today.

We will celebrate our 19th Wedding Anniversary this July! We have 5 children (plus 3 in Heaven).

Bill still makes me (and our kids) laugh every day. I rely on him for his even-temper, good nature, people skills, business sense, diplomacy, tutoring of the kids~ no matter what subject (he remembers everything he has ever learned!), his ability to get the house under control from clutter and mess, entertain a crowd, act goofy with the kids and turn a near-tantrum (usually the kids’, but sometimes mine) into a (distracted) humorous action-packed adventure.

His unwavering Faith and good judgement guide our family and I think we make a great team as we raise all of these kids and run our Catholic family apostolate Arma Dei: Equipping Catholic Families.

Happy Father’s Day, Billy!

*originally published over at Written By the Finger of God as part of the Real Catholic Love Stories series.

Copyright 2013 Monica McConkey

The Catholic Baby Name Book

My friend, Patrice, of Spiritual Woman and Catholic Lane requested that I review her brand new, hot off the press, The Catholic Baby Name Book, published by Ave Maria Press. To say I am honored is an understatement.

I have called you by name and you are mine. ~ Isaiah 43:1

So begins the brilliantly researched and thorough reference which is sure to become well loved and dog-eared as it graces the shelves of many an expectant family… And many a family who will enjoy being enlightened by the roots of their children’s names.

Mrs. MacArthur’s in-depth survey of saints’ biographical information at 526 pages and over 10,000 names is intriguing and reads like no other baby name book you have ever perused. This is readily apparent as one initially becomes engrossed in the engaging foreword by Lisa Hendey, of Catholic Mom, which includes a story of her website development as well as thankfulness for the many friends she has gathered along the way AND her personal anecdotes relative to naming.

These thoughts flow beautifully, so much so, that one may feel as if she is sitting at her kitchen table chatting with friends, into Mrs. MacArthur’s “Introduction,” followed by “How to Use this Book,” (a section I positively love for its comprehensive explanation) and eventually to the masterfully compiled list of Catholic names, separated by section into gender.

You will be compelled to keep those pages turning from the boys’ listings of Aaren ~ Zygysundo to the girls’ Aami ~ Zytka, as well as the historical information within the appendices as to Recently Canonized Saints, Top 100 Names (of 2011) and Most Popular Catholic Names By Decade (1960s to 2000s).

Let me give you a glimpse into the listing for “Veronica,” my favorite saint (and my confirmation name), so that you can determine just how intriguing the collection is:

Veronica
Saint
(the name may be that of a saint or virtue or come from the Old or New Testament
Latin
(the language of the name’s origin)
true image
(the meaning)
(many variations of the name are provided here
and for “Veronica,” there are 33!)
St. Veronica,
St Veronica Giuliani
(saints with this name)
St Veronica (1st century)
was a woman from Jerusalem who wiped the face of Jesus as He carried the cross on his way to be crucified. The cloth was imprinted with Jesus’s face. According to legend, Veronica later used the cloth to cure Emperor Tiberius of an illness.
Her act of kindness toward Jesus is remembered in the Stations of the Cross.
(Commentary about the life of the most prominent saint with this name)

Mrs. Hendey’s and Mrs. MacArthur’s styles are enchanting… So much so that a reader may feel as if she knows them forever. I am, in fact, honored to count them among my friends, although we have not met (yet) face to face. Yes, I know well the connection which is referenced in the foreword. I know beyond a doubt that many who read this lovely book will feel the same, as well as new friends who will gather through this lovely collection.

Order The Catholic Baby Name Book and support CatholicMom.com with your purchase

Copyright 2013 Christine Capolino

Delivering Themselves from Evil

My daughters are afraid of things that are … scary.  There, I’ve said it.  I’ve completely failed to desensitize them to all of the horror that the entertainment media is so eager to show them.

They refuse to walk down the dark, narrow hallways at the movie theater because on previous such treks they have glimpsed posters of people on fire and vampires with blood dripping from their mouths.  For this, they’ve been called “timid.”  At Disneyland, they prefer the carousel to the Tower of Terror, causing some to question their “willingness to try new things.”  Perhaps my kids are just too literal–after all, the word “Terror” is in the title.  Daughter #1 once corrected an adult who tried to placate her fear of war by telling her that the only modern wars are being fought in other countries, far away from the United States.  Daughter #1 knows better:  her Mama lost a cousin in the Twin Towers, and her Daddy travels to New York too often for her liking.  Daughter #2′s radar for evil is so finely tuned that she actually leaves the vicinity of the TV when Curious George starts to misbehave.  She knows that the Man in the Yellow Hat is not George’s father, but she’s convinced the fourth commandment applies anyway.

When did fearlessness become the measure of a child?  What about prudence and rationality?

Many around me subscribe to the idea that a well-rounded child will try anything once, and that her failure to do so foreshadows a narrow life.  I am teaching mine that they don’t have to do anything that seems evil or unnatural.  I tell them that under normal circumstances they control what their eyes see and what their ears hear, and as a result I have seen them consistently refuse to be assaulted by the negative visual and auditory stimuli that many take for granted.  I am teaching them that evil is aberrant–that we are sinners, but that we were made for good, not bad.  And I do this while the entertainment media culture tries repeatedly to teach them that evil is commonplace, unavoidable, and nothing to get upset about.

In addition to teaching my children about the dangers of evil, I know that another parenting goal must be to instill in their hearts these words that come directly from the mouth of Christ:  Be not afraid.  But for now, we are focusing on the recognition of evil, which must become second nature in order to triumph over it.  Right now, they recognize evil through their fear, and they will go to great lengths to avoid it.  I don’t call that “too timid”.  I call that step one.

Copyright 2013 Sharon Rayner

I sit on my front porch swing and take all this in, in between chapters and responsibilities and kids screaming. (The last is not ideal, but I’m keepin it real here. Don’t want you to give me more credit than I’m due.)

Recent Reads

On Heaven and Earth: Pope Francis on Faith, Family, and the Church in the Twenty-First Century, by Jorge Bergoglio (Pope Francis) & Abraham Skorka (Image Books, 2013)

My rating: 5 out of 5 stars

I read this as spiritual reading for the last month or so, and I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful a read it is. The book is a conversation between Pope Francis (back when he was Cardinal Archbishop of Buenos Aires, Jorge Bergoglio) and Rabbi Abraham Skorka. They cover all sorts of topics, some of which I had no interest in until I read what they had to say. I found myself highlight as much of Skorka’s thought as I did Bergoglio’s. Overall, highly recommended.

Current Reads

Rapunzel Let Down: A Fairy Tale Retold (Book 6), by Regina Doman (Chesterton Press, 2013, fiction)

Oh. My. Word. I’m a longstanding fan of Regina Doman’s work and I was anticipating this book in a biiiiig way. I’m about halfway through and I don’t think I’ll quit shaking my head. How does Doman DO THAT?!?!? If you haven’t started reading the Fairy Tale Novels, don’t wait. Here’s your summer reading tip from me: READ THEM. And I’ll be back next week with a lengthier review of Rapunzel.

Anna Mei: Blessing in Disguise, by Carol Grund (Pauline Books & Media, 2011, middle grade fiction)

I meant to finish this before I started anything else, but you can see what happened…I put it down to whip through Rapunzel Let Down, and I haven’t picked it back up (because Rapunzel owns me right now).

Youcat: Youth Prayer Book (Ignatius, 2013)

It’s rare that I review a book before I’m finished, but then, this is a rare sort of book. I reviewed it in full last week, but I’m still working my way through it, because yes, I really want to read the whole thing. And I’m really, REALLY enjoying it.

What have YOU been reading lately?

*Are you on Goodreads? I’ll see you there!

Curious about what my ratings mean? Here’s an explanation of what the stars mean to me.

Be sure to check out our Book Notes archive.

Copyright 2013, Sarah Reinhard

Being Your Kid’s P.A.R.A. (Part 4)

In my last blog, I explained how we can’t help our loved ones alone  as I told the story about my middle schooler.  To help us, during Ian’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) the deaf itinerant teacher got personal.

She explained that her son was very much like Ian.  Upon encountering the middle school free-fall, she had him do his homework at the kitchen table in her presence.  She made him call other kids or return to school when he did not bring home the correct material. She held the leash tight, until about two years later at the end of his eighth grade year when everything fell into place.  Her Arrangements had enabled him to develop the valuable habits of success.  Today her son leads other men in his role in the military, noted in his unit for his outstanding organizational and life skills.

With the endorsement to be a temporary helicopter-style parent to our wayward Ian, Joe, I and Ian’s para-educator Jenny dug in arranging a life of full accountability for Ian.  We communicated with Jenny and Ian’s teachers to make sure he had the materials we needed and that we were aware of his upcoming exams and clear on our expectations to assist him in preparing for those.  Additional arranging included the uncharacteristic move of having Ian attend his own parent-teacher conference with us.  While gentle and compassionate, his teachers generously commented on Ian’s strengths,, held him accountable, and clarified with him his future expectations.

Admittedly, at times with our busy schedules  some requirements slipped through the gap. Ian would find a way to  sabotage his academic success.  I Paid Attention that Ian had his eye on two of his close friends who were doing even worse than him in school.  He expressed worry that those friends might not advance.  It seemed he feared what would happen to those relationships if he did well in school.

Steadily the grades went up.  Ian did extremely well on difficult tests.  Putting a little more time  into homework produced good marks.  With the rising grades came the surge of self-sabotaging behaviors:  assignments not turned in,  needed materials in the backpack, etc. But this time, we had made the proper Arrangements.  A missed or incomplete assignment prompted Ian’s para to keep him in  for recess or lunch to complete it.  I was on the PowerSchool, holding Ian accountable for unacceptable work.

By using the Mary at the Wedding at Cana approach to parenting (paying attention, responding, and arranging), Ian is succeeding despite himself.  With three weeks left in the school year he is within striking distance  to getting all As and Bs. As we count down weeks Ian gets As and Bs on all tests and assignments, permitting him to play on the Xbox on the weekend.  Checking PowerSchool every weekday embeds my daily routine.

I can taste what every Mary at the Wedding of Cana Arranger loves.   My child’s external reality (good grades) are challenging and transforming his inner reality (that he’s successful, smart, and an excellent student).  With more Arranging and life experience the internal and external truths will be one, and Ian will be well on his way to becoming his best for God.

The Catholic Women’s Guide to Healthy Relationships Tip:  When a loved one is floundering, make sure you are clear on what you should and shouldn’t do and take action.

Copyright 2013 Christina M. Weber

Tithing: Time and Talent Count Too

When thinking of tithing we often reach for our wallets, pulling out whatever we have or are willing to give that won’t hurt too much to do without.  Tithing can also be thought of in regards to time and talent.   Time and talents are valuables gift of tithing.  Many programs in the parish require time to be donated instead of money.  I bet many of you have heard of the idea of tithing your time and talents in lieu of tithing money.

When I think about tithing, I am also reminded of the story about the poor widow, Mark 12:42- “A poor widow came and put in two small coins, the equivalent of a penny.  Then he called his disciples and said to them, ‘In truth I tell you, this poor widow has put more in than all who have contributed to the treasury; for they have all put in money they could spare, but she in her poverty has put in everything she possessed, all she had to live on.’“  Giving everything is not part of our thought process in today’s society and I don’t believe each of us are called to abandon everything, like St. Francis of Assisi, but we are called to give of ourselves as the widow did, to give from our livelihood, which may be monetary or in the form of time and talent.  It is up to each of us to evaluate what we can give and give from our hearts.

When I see someone give of themselves freely, it truly speaks volumes to me.  I think it is much easier to write a check than to commit to giving of one’s time.  When a person says yes to a church program it almost always requires more time than initially thought.  You end up at the church before people arrive and well after everyone else has gone home.  Time is giving up, giving to and giving of one’s heart.  It’s a labor of love, a labor that a price cannot be tied to.

Copyright 2013 Lorrie Lane Dyer

Tell us about yourself in five words or less.

Jesuit Priest, New Media Missionary.

Of your pursuits, what’s your favorite?

My favorite pursuit, technologically speaking, is exploring the innovations happening, specifically as they apply to education and faith. New tools are being developed every day, which is very exciting, especially for educators!

My latest project, underscored by Pope Francis’ embrace of technology for the New Evangelization, is We Parent More, a new smartphone app for young Catholic parents. The app, which is the first of its kind, allows parents of young children to find resources for raising kids in a healthy, Catholic environment. It incorporates masstimes.org data and even enables parents to register for sacraments at local parishes.

The official unveiling of the We Parent More Catholic app will be on June 19, 2013 at the 2013 Catholic Media Conference in Denver hosted by the Catholic Press Association. We are very excited!

When you think of the New Evangelization from your approach as a “Catholic Techie,” what excites you? What makes you want to continue?

The incredible development of technology in the past decade has been very exciting. The Holy Fathers and the various Synods on the New Evangelization and Communication continue to urge us to embrace these communication tools to spread the message of the Gospel. Catholics are eagerly responding to that call in ways never before imagined–it’s truly inspiring.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of your work?

The idea of breaking language barriers and empowering parish communities to evangelize in ways that weren’t possible when I first became a priest energizes me to continue spreading the good news of Jesus Christ.

In your spare time, what are we likely to find you doing? Do you have a gadget in hand or do you go native and screenless?

Spare time? If anything, I’m screenless in the sacristy.

Read more of our Tech Talk columns.

Copyright 2013 Sarah Reinhard

Watch this video on YouTube.

National Council of Catholic Women Urges Participation in Fortnight for Freedom to Support Religious Liberty

(Arlington, VA)—At their meeting May 31- June 1, the Board of Directors of the National Council of Catholic Women (NCCW) urged members and friends of NCCW to support the U.S. Bishops’ Fortnight for Freedom,June 21 – July 4, through personal and family prayer and active participation in their local churches and dioceses.

On June 5, NCCW President Rebecca Woodhull met with members of the Knights of Columbus staff to finalize plans for NCCW’s participation with the Knights and the USCCB for the Fortnight for Freedom. Participants in the meeting at the Blessed John Paul II Shrine included Timothy Saccoccia, Knights of Columbus (KC) Policy Coordinator; Garret Girmus, KC Fortnight Coordinator; Rebecca, Scott Lloyd, Sr. Policy Coordinator; and Patrick Kelly, Executive Director, Blessed John Paul II Shrine.

“NCCW and the Knights of Columbus are logical partners in the observance of the Fortnight of Freedom,” Dr. Woodhull noted.  “Lay women and men all over the country want to express their support for the U.S. Bishops’ principled stand on religious freedom and conscience protections. And many of those women and men belong to parishes whose members affiliate with NCCW, the Knights, or both. I am confident that our members will actively support their diocesan and parish observances of the Fortnight and partner with the Knights where possible.”

In preparation for the Fortnight for Freedom, NCCW sponsored an advocacy call for its members on June 5. During the conference call, NCCW members suggested and endorsed a number of ways to participate in the Fortnight including: ask Adoration Teams to devote an hour to this intention, pray the Rosary for religious freedom, read the bishop’s document, “Our First, Most Cherished Freedom” (www.usccb.org), sign up for the alerts from the USCCB via their website, write a letter to the editor from your diocesan or parish council stating the NCCW position on religious liberty, ask your pastors to have a Mass for the protection of religious freedom, and pray as a family.

Other ideas encouraged by individual members of NCCW included:

• Use this as a “teachable moment” where the basis of our faith beliefs can be explained more fully and focus CCW meetings on religious freedom and the consequences of ignoring threats to it.

• Hold a potluck or BBQ with a program on the need to stand up for our faith. This is an opportunity for people to grow in their faith.

• Most important, call your representatives in Congress when key decisions or votes are pending. It may be easier to send a postcard and that is good method of contact.  But when you call, your call is recorded immediately, and mail can be delayed. Don’t worry, your representatives in Congress will not be answering the phone, and you don’t have to say anything but “I would like Senator [name] to vote NO/YES on bill #____.”

Dr. Woodhull summarized by saying, “We are so blessed in this country that we think nothing will really change or harm us in the practice of our faith…but we are wrong.  If ever an issue needed the attention and action of NCCW members–this is it!”

My Heart is Not in Stuff

A  month ago,  a WordPress Daily Prompt asked writers if we could only take five objects from a burning house, what would be the most difficult things for us to leave behind?  Well really, the only objects I consider to be important are photos of family, my computer, passport and ID, a bible and bank card, assuming that I am wearing my wedding ring and gold cross like always. That’s it.

As for regrets, I really do not think that my heart is in things. Since I was a little girl, I have felt content with what I have materially. Even now, when my nine kids ask me what I want for Christmas, I pause for a moment with a blank mind. I have to search to come up with a list.

Rather a strange state to be in because this is not the result of spiritual striving, fasting or prayer, it is just how I am. Living with little people has only strengthened an innate tendency to enjoy the little things, to be grateful to be alive and in communion with the Spirit. In addition, as a large family with barely enough cash but many blessings, we have experienced many incidents of God’s providence. This scripture resonates within all of us.

MATTHEW 6:25-34

DO NOT WORRY

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Kids understand these words, reminding me that the key to happiness and joy is not stuff but thankfulness and appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. There is much to be grateful for if we will simply stop for a moment and really see what actually surround us every day. Children delight in the plethora of tiny details all around them. They are born with a sense of wonder and the ability to enjoy simple pleasures.  Perhaps it is because they are closer to the ground when we tried to go for a walk but they stopped at every flower and bug, especially a bug on a flower. As  they look, touch, smell, even lick each wonderful new discovery, all their attention is riveted on that one thing. At first it was difficult to slow down during our walks and let the toddlers set the pace but it was a wonderful instruction in how to relax and become fully present to the moment.

At first I was only capable of enjoying whatever captured my children’s notice bu t now I realize that they were experiencing so much more than I initially thought. In their silent, non-verbal attention to nature, they were in deep communion with God Himself as He is present in His creation. Adults struggle for years to merely glimpse the intimacy that little children have naturally with God. They do not need to strive or work for this state of contemplation because they are without guile, prior opinions or expectations; they are open and look with trust, ready to absorb the love, joy and peace that envelopes them. Children are grateful for everything.

Ah, to live in a constant state of gratitude and thankfulness is a taste of heaven. Even if I were to live in the midst of a concrete jungle, I could at least stop for a moment, look up and give thanks. I simply need to remind myself to glance upwards, above my little busy world and enjoy the sky. The sky alone is an extravagant present that continually fills me with the joy if I remember to take a break from my ‘important’ business. Every time we attend mass, we are constantly reminded to give thanks to a Heavenly Father simply because life in, with and through Him is a joyful experience no matter what our situation.

“The Eucharist is a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the Father, a blessing by which the Church expresses her gratitude to God for all his benefits, for all that he has accomplished through creation, redemption, and sanctification.  Eucharist means first of all ‘thanksgiving’” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1360).

Copyright 2013 Melanie Jean Juneau

When a person is beatified, it means they are blessed. But wait – aren’t we all blessed? Yes…but we are blessed in a different way than the how it is intended here. To be considered truly blessed, a person must not only have lived a life centered around Christian values but they must also have performed a miracle.

Now, while getting home from work in less than thirty minutes on a Friday night may *seem* like a miracle, there are also specific regulations around what constitutes a true miracle. For something to be a miracle, it has to be instant, comprehensive, and lasting. There’s a good chance our Friday traffic will be back the following week, so it is neither comprehensive or lasting.

Once it is shown that a person has led a solid Christian-focused life and has performed a miracle (or were martyred for their faith), they can be venerated in their local diocese. (For more information on veneration and worship, click here).

To become canonized, a second miracle must take place. Only a pope can issue the decree that a person is indeed holy and in heaven with God. Once canonized, a person can be remembered at liturgies through the year at any parish and not just the one in their hometown. They can also have a church dedicated in their name without consent of the Vatican.

So, it really comes down to a few key differences:

So, now that we’ve cleared that up, back to the original question: do all popes become saints? The answer is no. While more popes have been canonized than those that remain “only” beatified, becoming a Pope does not guarantee you will become a saint.

Copyright 2013 Jen Frost

I assured her we did. And I assure you that she’s as techie as they come, though I think she’s not quite in touch with labeling herself as such.

Martina Kreitzer is part of the awesomeness known as Catholic Sistas. She’s a cradle Catholic, wife, and mother who was part of creating Catholic Sistas to continue the camaraderie of an existing women’s group. You’ll also find her blogging and on the board of Austin Catholic New Media and all over the social networks.

Martina may not consider herself a techie, but I think you’ll see why she’s a perfect fit for this interview…

Tell us about yourself in five words or less.

Motherhood-ing and blogging with one hand.

Of your pursuits, what’s your favorite?

I always feel like I should say God and my family first…because it’s true. But, that’s a given. After that, I’d have to say the iPad mini my awesome husband got me for my birthday last month has become my THE dedicated all things Catholic Sistas device.

At first, I wasn’t sure how I would incorporate it into my already device-filled apostolate – between my iPhone and MacBook, I sometimes feel like I have social media bleeding out of my eyes. Can you relate? So, I was a bit of a skeptic. If you know how Mac products work, you have to bring all your existing apps and goodies over to your new device.

It ended up being a clean slate and before I knew it, it became my absolute sole blogging {and all other apostolates} device. I can tweet, pin, Facebook, create memes, post pics – especially for our ongoing prayer campaign – on Instagram, and even do half-decent photography {as a photographer for 20+ years, saying half-decent is major props to the ever-improving technology of these devices}. I had ZERO experience going into this blogging gig, so that I am able to do this all on one device and – here’s the best part – it all fits in my purse is…amazing. Simply. Amazing.

When you think of the New Evangelization from your approach as a “Catholic Techie,” what excites you? What makes you want to continue?

I look around and see so much inspiration from others who are working hard at their particular craft and apostolate. I look to their enthusiasm to help me brainstorm ideas and projects that are both relevant and needed for the specific audience that Catholic Sistas tries to capture. There is no worry of an over-saturated market, and that allows us to dream big and do big things – with the help of the Holy Spirit – when it comes to proclaiming the core Gospel message.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of your work?

I receive e-mails and prayer requests frequently from readers because we keep an ongoing prayer list. Knowing that the blog is having a positive impact on someone’s spiritual life is edifying and fuels the desire to continue doing what we’re doing. And there are a lot of rough days when the Evil One would rather I quit altogether, so the communication with readers is very valuable and always appreciated.

In your spare time, what are we likely to find you doing? Do you have a gadget in hand or do you go native and screenless?

Spare time. Does not compute! Haha! Ok, since we moved last year, I have become a bit of a project hound. I like small projects that don’t take long to complete. You can usually find me in the garage with my iPhone in hand {playing music, of course!} and digging through boxes and asking my worker bee kiddos to help move stuff into the house. I also love to be in our yard and have some vegetables growing, despite my brown thumb. Because of my love of photography and humor, I usually have my phone handy to snap funny pics of the kids, but I do like to go “screenless” when possible.

Read more of our Tech Talk columns.

Copyright 2013 Sarah Reinhard