Deacon Tom Fox

The Sacrificial Love of Motherhood

Greater love has no one than this, that (s)he lay down (her) his life for (her)his (children and) friends. John 15:13

Hello and happy summer days, dear moms… and to any men who happen to be along for this e-column. May the Lord God be with you and fill you with the graces and joys necessary and hoped for for your summertime days with your family. And, may it please God, may you be able to get away on vacation or some type of break from your ‘work-a-day’ world.

I happen to have a proximate situation that I am able to witness. There is a late-in-life mother that I know well. She has a teen aged stepdaughter and two natural daughters under the age of five. This mother has always…. always wanted to be married and to be a mother. Those who know her say if there was ever a woman destined for motherhood, and who would be good at it, then ________ is surely such a lady.

And gosh is she doing a wonderful job raising the two young ones. But there may be cracks in the armor. I think she is tiring. Day after day of creative, demanding and never-ending mothering is perhaps wearing her out. There isn’t much need to begin a litany of examples – but if you know about fixing grilled cheese sandwiches which your young one loves – only to have him or her refuse to eat it because you cut it the wrong way… or it’s on the wrong kind of bread – then you understand the every-day needs to sell, to teach, to cajole, sometimes to correct…. Most often to have the Wisdom of Solomon.
The mother that I’m writing about has never spoken to me of burn out or frustration – but she talks more often about time away to recharge her batteries. She doesn’t get a lot of good sleep and she finds it hard to work on any home projects. Certainly she can’t get much personal time. Sitting down and reading a book? Ha!

This older-than-‘normal’ mother had many years as a career woman of some success. She took college courses to add teaching credentials to her other college degree and work. She knows about the lure of the outside world: the money, the travel and the perks. And while I’m not privy to her innermost thoughts – I wonder if she isn’t so tired and run down that she forgets the deeper meanings of the gift and challenge of Sacrificial Motherhood?

We who are on the outside – we who aren’t living her life on a daily basis – we know or intuit that motherhood is not only the gift that keeps on giving, but it is also the challenge and the laundry and the need for creativity and such that never ends. But in my prayers – in my petitions for you moms is the hope and intercession that she and you will make it through these days, realizing that you are co-parenting with the Almighty. In fact, the closest possible union that you had with your earthly partner was also one of the closest possible acts of cooperation with the Creator.

In the Gospel of the 14th Sunday in Ordinary Time – Jesus said that His yoke was easy. At times, we wonder if we really understand Christ – or if He was being truthful. In the depths of our hearts, we know He is truthful – but ‘please, Jesus… I’m tired and worn out!’ Faithfulness under ‘fire’ is that which we all are called to. It isn’t easy. Would that my wife and I could come and give you a week or two break – with trust in us so that you wouldn’t worry… and with you having sufficient money so you could afford to do something nice and refreshing.

The only answer that I can really offer to the tiredness and questioning angst of Sacrificial Love is prayer… early before ‘they’ are up prayer… and availing yourselves of the Holy Eucharist often. It is what I do each and every day. And often my prayers are for you… each of you.

An author named Fred Hartley wrote that faithfulness under fire is what separates a great marriage from a mediocre one. And that is also true of the Sacrificial Love of motherhood. If you take any comfort in knowing someone is praying for you…. rooting for you, know that I am. We are. And many others are as well. You are not alone.

Blessings.
Deacon Tom
www.deacontomonline.com

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Tom Fox was ordained a Deacon in the Archdiocese of Denver. He currently lives and serves in a small, but growing mountain community in northern Arizona. Tom has received many requests for copies of his Sunday homilies and his shorter Communion Service Reflections. He is an experiential preacher who uses life and stories to share a message of today for Catholics and other Christians Many of his sermons are found on the internet – and a collection of them are found on his website: www.deacontomonline.com. Tom would love to hear from you and will try to answer any questions or sharing that you send in.