Our Homeschooling Journey
by Jackie Zimmerer

Our journey to homeschooling actually began one Sunday morning at Mass in the early 90’s.   I still remember feeling agitated and more than a bit chastised as Father Harry, in his homily, flatly stated that he thought kids needed a Catholic education.  My consternation increased as the moments dragged on…especially since, at the time our boys were attending the public school across the street. 

I don’t figure I need to tell you this, but I’m more than a bit mule headed…enough so that I decided right then and there that I would prove Father wrong.  “MY kids,” I thought with a prideful tilt of my head, “would get a fine, free education right where they were!  After all, WE were different.”  

The ride home that day was spent defending the choice NOT to put our kids in parochial school.  My main point of contention was the fact that the only two Catholic school in our county used secular materials anyway.  That, in my mind, meant that they weren’t true “Catholic schools.”  Sure religion was taught, but sometimes those teachers weren’t even of our faith. Besides, the schools weren’t in our hometown and neither provided an easy mode of transportation to and from school that fit our two-income schedule. 

There was also the fact that the facility closest to us only went to eighth grade and the parochial high school was 35 miles away.  Why, I reasoned, should we pay tuition and transportation costs to get the same education our boys were getting “for free” at our local public school?

But as time flew by, it slowly became apparent that my rebellious attitude might have been a bit misplaced.  The school system the boys attended began to exhibit signs of problems that increasingly concerned us, especially in the disrespectful demeanor of the students, the lack of discipline, as well as the dismal content in some of the classes.  This was about the same time that Texas stepped up mandatory testing that increasingly created an environment where students ceased to be taught to think, reason and solve problems and started being taught with an emphasis on passing the test.  As things quickly changed I became more and more disillusioned but still thought (hoped?) that my kids would be okay. 

Albert and I did weigh the idea of homeschooling several times as the years passed, especially after our oldest two sons’ best friends began to be educated at home.  But my husband and I just couldn’t seem to come to a consensus.  We struggled with the issues that the media threw at us:  socialization, curriculum, not to mention the fact that the idea of having my kids with me 24/7 scared me to death.  Wouldn’t they drive me crazy? 

Besides that, I was convinced that I didn’t have the self-discipline to be responsible for my kids’ education.  Who was I to think that I could teach them?  I didn’t have a degree as a teacher.  I was just a mom. 

Fast forward to the year our oldest son, Guy, was graduating from high school.   Adam was in the eighth grade, Ryan in the sixth and Joshua in the fifth. 

We know now that the 99-00 school term included a series of bullying and harmful pranks directed at Adam.   I talked with the principal over and over in an effort to quell the rising level of mean spirited harassment, but everything I did just seemed to accelerate the abuse our son was subjected to at the hands of his classmates.  Unfortunately that was the effect my son said it would have.

The situation culminated when several students on an unattended walkway between two school buildings assaulted Adam. Cold, calculated and well planned, the incident impressed upon me that our son was no longer safe at school.

That mind boggling occurrence was the last straw.  I was further bumfuzzled when the local authorities refused to allow us to file charges on the teens involved.  In addition, the minimal punishment assessed by the school basically meant that the perpetrators got off scott free; after serving a few days of In School Suspension the boys returned to class to some sort of cult hero status.

At the time I was again an at-home-mom.  Albert and I mulled over transferring Adam to one of the nearby schools but quickly dismissed that option.  We also thought about enrolling him in the Catholic High School 35 miles away, but the cost of tuition plus transportation wasn’t financially feasible especially since we were convinced that the Lord didn’t want me to go back to work.

Homeschooling seemed to be our best alternative.

Adam’s assault, although one of the most painful episodes of my life, turned out to be a tremendous gift from God.  No, I’m not saying that God was behind the attack, or even that He condoned it, but, as usual, He did create good even out of great harm.  The episode forced us to evaluate our concerns about the kids’ education and ultimately led us to realize that their training was our responsibility, not that of the State of Texas or the local school district.  Catholic school was also out of the equation. 

Perhaps most important, the whole thing happened in such a way that our excuses as to why we couldn’t educate the boys at home seemed suddenly pale in comparison to the possible consequences of leaving them in the public school system.

The fateful decision was made almost four years ago now and I’m happy to share with you that I’ve never regretted a moment I’ve spent with the boys. 

Okay…maybe I’ve been bent out of shape a few times since, but I’ve never doubted my choice. 

Ahem…all right…maybe I have periodically doubted my sanity, but it was usually only for a short time.  Mostly I’ve came to appreciate the fact that I’m just mule-headed enough to actually pull this off!  My only real remorse is that I didn’t get to spend the same kind of time with our oldest son, Guy, who graduated from high school six weeks after Adam’s assault.

As far as my prior objections and misgivings go, yes, my boys do drive me crazy periodically.  But in return for struggling through those instances, we’ve developed a relationship that I could only have dreamed of previously. 

Dealing with the learning styles of my very different children has been a challenge, but with lots of help from above as well as scads of advice from other homeschooling families we’ve figured that out, too.  In addition, we have conquered issues of socialization as well as managing to teach classes that I last studied 25 years ago (or never studied at all.)  Where there is a will, there’s a way.

Although my level of self-discipline started somewhere below zero, over the years I’ve developed what I needed when I needed it.  It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen, including forming a solid schedule that provides both for education and “house pick up” time. 

Along the way I also discovered that children really aren’t “taught” after all, they only need to be shown how to learn! 

We’ve been privileged to study Catholic based history (which is VERY different from what is taught in most textbooks) as well as have the opportunity to impart necessary life skills that I assumed our oldest was getting in high school, but now know weren’t part of the public school curriculum.  Albert and I have shared the faith with our sons on a one-to-one basis and it’s a joy to see them perform community service and form leadership skills via their extracurricular activities.

In May of 2004 Adam will graduate from high school.  While he still has some trouble trusting due to the level of abuse he suffered at school, he’s a relatively well adjusted young man down to the monster-sized case of Senioritis he currently has!  I’m impressed with how he manages to juggle working for a local lumber yard, three high school courses and two dual credit courses at the local junior college. 

Ryan and Joshua are also doing well in school.  They are happy, healthy, typical boys.

But most of all, it is my privilege to officially declare that Father Harry was right that Sunday so many years ago: our kids DID need a Catholic Education.  But, for us, the best place to provide that has been at home.

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