Prayers for Families Touched by Autism

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This afternoon I was watching a favorite movie of mine, I Am Sam. Both Sean Penn and Michelle Pfeiffer give touching performances – he as a developmentally challenged single father, she as an emotionally challenged corporate lawyer. Each of them has a child they love deeply, whom they parent despite their own limitations.

Today is “Autism Sunday” (February 8), and as I was surfing some sites on this condition I came across a list of movies on autism.com that portray this condition, most with a degree of empathy.

Seeing I Am Sam listed here made me realize just how complex – and how incredibly frustrating – the condition must be, both for the afflicted and their loved ones. Whereas in Rain Man the afflicted character (Raymond Babbit, played by Dustin Hoffman) could count cards and multiply multiple digit numbers, he would go ballistic if touched. Sam, by contrast could scarcely read and had the intellectual capacity of a seven-year-old – but he clearly adores his daughter, holding her and tending to her needs. (Asking her father why he’s “different” than the other daddies, Lucy brushes off his apologies with, “I’m lucky … none of the other daddies come to the playground.”)

In The Other Sister, the character portrayed by Juliette Lewis takes computer classes, has her own apartment, and even gets married; in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (another of my favorite flicks), Arnie requires constant supervision to keep him from climbing water towers and dying of hypothermia in his own bathtub. In Little Man Tate, the boy Fred displays characteristics of Asperger’s syndrome – with breathtaking intellectual capacity, he clearly longs for friendships but lacks the capacity for true emotional bonds – even with his mother.

It is this emotional detachment that must be most difficult for family members, experiencing the prolonged dependence of a child without the natural bond that goes with it. Those with children who have ODD can also relate to this, as can foster and adoptive parents of traumatized children. We yearn for the closeness – the hugs and kisses – but know that for the foreseeable future these gestures (if we can give them at all) are likely to be entirely one-sided.  Even so, we continue to love … as parents, it’s what we do. We try to find and celebrate the small victories: the spontaneous pictures, the humor, the quiet companionship of a child who is content just to have you near.

Today we remember all those touched by autism and Asperger’s syndrome. May you find joy in the journey, and grace all along the way.

Copyright 2009 Heidi Hess Saxton

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4 Comments

  1. Thank you, Heidi, for your beautiful and touching article about Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. I have a son with a dual diagnosis of High Functioning Autism/Aspergers Syndrome. He is a marvelous boy with a brilliant sense of humor and lots of smarts. He is not a prodigy like Rain Man, but he is developing in body, mind and spirit in the loving hands of Our Father. We live in a ongoing cycle of miracles, triumphs, setbacks and growth. All of us. My husband, my two “normally” developing children, my autistic son and myself. Every day is new. Every day is a gift from God. Some days are hard, really hard.
    Our son’s name is John. A friend once remarked that, like his patron, St. John the Baptist, our son’ mere presence calls us daily to make straight our paths and keep our hearts and eyes fixed on the Lamb of God. On the days when our John most resembles the wild-eyed, locust eating, desert dweller we are reminded that that is exactly the stuff that Saints are made of! Praise God!

  2. Thank you for addressing Autism on Autism sunday. I didn’t find out about it until it was to late to plan anything. However, my Pastor did a great job writing a beautiful petition. He has agreed to let me do something more next year and I plan to celebrate and inform others. I have two girls with Aspergers. It makes it very difficult in church when your child has no visible signs of a development disorder, but their behavior gives them away. Often others may think it reflects poor parenting. I often thank God for the gift of Autism in my family. My girls have opened my eyes to many of discoveries. I know they are made perfectly how God intendend for them. They have there struggles and so do I. But through those struggles God has a grand purpose for them and me. Now, we just need to get the world to see the gift of Autism as God has made them, perfectly in his eyes.

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