What are little girls made of ? Well that’s an easy one, “sugar and spice and everything nice, that is what little girls are made of”. What are little boys made of? Well, if I remember right, little boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails. This was the mantra of young girls when I was growing up, especially in defense to the boys who were being bullies on the play ground. This is just one of the many ways in which children’s minds are shaped in regard to the masculine and feminine traits. Music is another way.
For example, I recently came across the lyrics to a favorite song of mine by Peter Gabriel entitled “Kiss That Frog”. As I read through the words it struck me that this was not just a great song but rather it contained profound truth about women and men. Specifically, I believe it reveals a deep longing that men have within them to be transformed by the love of a woman. Women have their own gifts and capabilities but for the purposes of this discussion I want to just focus on the impact that woman have on man.
The tune begins with; “Jump in the water”.
So many of us use variations of this expression when we are trying to encourage someone to just give something a chance. For example “take a leap of faith”or “jump in with both feet” to name a few. So the song begins with the invitation for all of us women to take a leap of faith and jump in, if you will.
Sweet little princess, let me introduce his frogness;
Just as the childhood limerick goes, men do often envision women as “sweet” and “princess like” while they, in their maleness are more like the frog. The song begins with making the differences of men and women known at the onset.
You alone can get him singing, Hes all puffed up, wanna be your king, Oh you can do it, Cmon [x6] Lady kiss that frog;
Ghandi himself believes this one. Ghandi was known to have said that behind every powerful man was a strong woman. Women have inspired men for centuries, from the very first recordable words uttered by man in the bible which exclaimed “At Last! Flesh of My Flesh and Bone of My Bones!” Eve’s very preciousness is revealed in the fact that she was created from the image and likeness of God and not the dirt of the earth! So when the song says “You alone can get him singing”, what it is telling us is that in the very preciousness that IS woman, we have a unique hold and ability to inspire greatness in the man. We alone can get them singing. Through the inspiration of woman, men “puff up”with courage, strength and belief in themselves as well as the inspiration to create works of art. They become better men, noble men when a woman who loves them believe them capable of greatness. The words “kiss that frog” is the invitation to transform this man.
There is a scene in the 3rd triliogy of “Pirates of the Caribean” when Elizabeth Swan is trying to convince the Bretheren Court to fight against the pirate Davy Jones and the corrupt brittish captain. They were all about to turn and run but she stands before the men and explains to them what it means for them to be men and to stand and fight for something. When she is finished they all chear and are filled with courage and inspiration. That scene reminds me not only how powerful and couragous men are but how they often become so after first being inspired by a woman.
Splash, dash heard your call, Bring you back your golden ball, Hes gonna dive down in the deep end Hes gonna be just like your best friend;
Many men work to be the provider of families (as do women), they answer the call to serve and desire to meet all of the needs of the family despite the difficulites of economy, family life, illness and more. Even though God said that man would have to work by the sweat of his brow to live on this earth, this part of the song conveys a willingness to do so on the part of the man because he want to please, he is eager to serve and desires a relationship with us.
So whats one little kiss, One tiny little touch, Aaah, hes wanting it so much, I swear that this is royal blood, Running through my skin, Oh can you see the state Im in, Kiss it better, kiss it better;
This reveals so much into the pysche of man. Physical affection is a powerful love language for men. Every touch or kiss they receive fills them up in a way that many women may not realize. We have heard men are “wired” differently then women and it is true. They are wanting so much to give love to woman and have her recieve it. Just as the blood runs through his veins, affection is like the lifes blood and it is required by them to exist in this difficult world. The words “royal blood” conote that he knows he can be transformed.
The words “kiss it better” remind me of how powerful children think a mother’s kisses is. How many of us have had a child ask us to kiss it better and then actually wiped their tears and went on about their business, playing, as if we just administered some kind of magic.
Well, there are two truths revealed here. One, that men can seem like children sometimes, pouting or needy for us to kiss it better but more importantly the men who love us believe that the woman they love CAN kiss it better. The second truth is that just as our kiss to a child makes it better, so can our kiss to our husbands.
The marital embrace is the incarnation of the wedding vows as St. Thomas Aquinas says in his Summa. He even goes so far to say that just as the sacraments are outward signs signifying an inward pouring of grace into our souls, so too is the marital embrace (when free, total, faithful and fruitful are present) and through the consummation of love (the outward sign) there is grace that is being poured into our souls at that very momment transforming us. So maybe we CAN kiss it better, the grace of God heals us. When we are renewing our wedding vows through the marital embrace, we are experiencing the sacrament and this very act becomes like an image of the trinity. The lover (God the Father) gives himself to the Beloved (God the Son) and the fire of their love that burns between them becomes fruitful in making another person (God the Holy Spirit).
Get it into your royal head, He’s living with you, he sleeps in your bed, Cant you hear beyond the croaking, Don’t you know that I’m not joking, Aaah, you think you wont, I think you will, Don’t you know that this, tongue can kill, C’mon [x6], Lady kiss that frog Let him sit beside you, Eat right off your plate, You don’t have to be afraid, There’s nothing here to hate, Ah, princess you might like it, If you lower your defense, Kiss that frog, and you will Get your prince [x2];
It is so true, we have to get it through our heads, we are sharing our lives with a man that we fell in love with, yet sometimes we allow their faults, their croaking to be all we see and hear. Our own pride or anger at past hurts can cause us to create barriers or cause us to withold our affections. Soon, the tongue, our words (and theirs) become poisoned with our anger and it can feel like dying a slow death everyday. The song turns here and says that although this may be the case we must be urged forward. Despite the truth that our husbands may do or say things that make us want to withold our affections , we should kiss him anyways(I am not speaking about abuse here, all forms of abuse are inexcusable and counseling or spiritual direction would be necessary if this is taking place).
Let him sit beside you;
Here we are being coaxed to swollow our pride and let him “eat off of our own plate”. Love requires us at times, to give even when the other does not necessarily deserve it and to not just give but to let them eat off of our very own plate! We become afraid to open up again, to be vulnerable. But to be vulnerable means to lower our defense and kiss that frog and in doing so we may enter into the very moment of transformation with our husbands. It can be this very act of compassion that inspires a man to realize that despite their unworthiness, they are receiving love and this simple act of charity can melt the hardest of hearts. In the movie “As Good As It Get’s” when Helen Hunt tells Jack Nicholson “Give me a compliment!” he turns to her and say’s “You make me wanna be a better man”. Wow! That is what I am talking about. That statement is better than “Your hot” or “You smell great” because it says to the other person that there is something within them that is so great and wonderful that it is transforming the other person through a deep and powerful connection.
Jump in the water, cmon baby jump in with me, Jump in the water, cmon baby get wet with me;
So what are we waiting for? Let’s jump in and get our feet wet, let’s really commit to it! Let’s jump in and kiss our frog!
Copyright 2009 Christina King