Throughout the years, we describe our husbands in a very positive, loving light…we say they are men of integrity, handsome, funny, hard-working, faithful, wise, etc… then we make the fatal mistake…(at least I USED to…not anymore…but maybe someone reading this is still where I once was)…
The fatal mistake is: “If only he were a bit better at being a Spiritual Leader. If only he would take charge of our family as far as our faith and spirituality is concerned”.
Now usually, what we mean by this is: I have summized my husband’s position as Spiritual Leader in my family by what I THINK I have seen in OTHER husbands!!!
Have you done that? I know I have…
We wish that our husbands, like Mr. So-and-So…would gather all his little ones around our hearth each night for Bible Study…or we wish he would unfailingly lead us in the rosary every single day like so-and-so’s husband does. We wish he would teach us the faith more and we wish he wouldn’t be so reserved or private in his faith.
What God has shown me in the past years (and for this, I am SO grateful to Him, my loving Father)…is that we can not set our poor husbands up with some puffed-up expectation according to an impression we have (which, in reality is most likely NOT as we imagine it anyway) of others. The Lord gently taught me…that my husband is a WONDERFUL Spiritual Leader! I am just not a good Spiritual Follower!
I allowed MANY quiet things my dear husband does to lead us slip right by, almost unnoticed, because I was waiting for something I thought he SHOULD be…Rather than appreciating who he already WAS.
Just because your husband does not fit a certain mold, or does not do things that those other “seemingly perfect” Christian families might do (and this is not to say that it’s not a lovely or good thing if some husbands really DO gather their children ’round the hearth each night…God BLESS them…it is wonderful!)… doesn’t mean that he is not leading you and your children spiritually.
In my personal experience, my husband has always been a man of few words…he is a man of ACTION…his military background loans itself to that way, in that he sees a mission, finds the best way to tackle the mission…carries out the mission…and moves onto the next mission, LOL He would much rather DO than TALK about doing.
However, in his quiet way…in the way that he lives…he is CONSTANTLY leading us through his wonderful example…he hits his knees by his bed each and every night before sleeping…he spends a very quiet, private hour at 5:00 a.m. in the Perpetual Adoration Chapel each Monday morning…he has the most integrity of any man I’ve ever met…he puts GOD first in his life, and stands up for what is right, even when that brings him PERSONAL SUFFERING. He also OFTEN calls our family together for the Divine Mercy Chaplet or the holy RosaryJ
St. Francis said, “Preach the gospel, and when necessary, use words”…THIS IS MY HUSBAND….and perhaps it is yours too!
If I had been a good Spiritual Follower in those days, I would have NOTICED these things, instead of waiting on something to materialize that wasn’t meant to be in the first place. I know that my children are walking with the Lord BECAUSE of the wonderful example their father has set for them. THEY accept him and seek his wisdom and FOLLOW HIS LEAD, JUST THE WAY HE IS. By the grace of God, I have learned to do the same.
If you have felt these things…ask yourself…”Am I a good Spiritual Follower?”
Trust God to lead you through your husband in the way that HE chooses, not in the way that you think it should be done…
Copyright 2010 Judy Dudich