Today started off badly, with a heated discussion with one of my sons about a recent academic “situation”. I am working hard with both boys on becoming a more “hands off” mom, that is less of a nag and more of a consultant (as my good friend Pat Gohn has called the role we older moms embrace as our children slip into independence).
With the one who’s almost out the door to college, the letting go has been a gradual transition. He is a great student (both boys are, actually) and has demonstrated over the past few years that he can manage his workload properly, even if his timing always doesn’t line up with my desires. Kid #2, just finishing up his freshman year of high school, is equally as talented and wired entirely differently from his brother. The things that inspire and motivate him are unique and precious, and I’m still figuring them out as we go.
So today was one of those days I regret more as the morning goes on. A nice drive to school punctuated by a parting disagreement, solidified by a follow up cell phone call that makes things even worse. Me – left to stew and fret. Him – likely upset at mom and thinking she doesn’t understand. Terminal to the relationship? Likely not… but I still wish I could have the whole thing back to do over again.
This Mom thing can be tough – a lifelong period of on the job training. I often hope my boys won’t suffer long-term for the times when I feel I’ve screwed up, fallen short of what God wants of me as a mother and of what my family needs and deserves from me. I guess we won’t know that for years.
In the mean time, we take one moment at a time, do our best, and try to make the grade.