Silent Observer by Lisa Jones

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Many years ago, I had a dear friend who was faced with an unexpected pregnancy while still a young woman.  At the time she took her pregnancy test, I remember sitting with her just stunned and silent. I had no words or reassurance for her. The next day, she had her pregnancy confirmed by the university health clinic and received a referral for abortion.

I am ashamed to say that I stood by while she chose to end her baby’s life the day after she knew he existed.   In my mind, I know that I was young and ill prepared to face this difficult issue, but in my heart it is small reconciliation now.

There is little hope that I could have done anything to change her decision, but I sometimes wonder how I could have been a better friend to her at that difficult time.  The best word I could use to describe how I felt that week was confused.  I knew deep in my soul that it was a bad and wrong decision, but could see and feel the pressure to accept her choice.  Even though society seemed to dictate that I was to understand and offer condolences regarding the difficulty of her choice, I really couldn’t do it.  So instead, I did nothing.

Even though it has been almost 20 years, I still think about that week and pray for her unborn baby.  I ask God for forgiveness in being a silent observer.

Copyright 2010 Lisa Jones

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About Author

Lisa Henley Jones is a former stay-at-home mom who discovered a new career as an online marketer/social media manager. She blogs at Of Sound Mind and Spirit with her sister, Shelly Kelly, about faith and family life. During the hot summers in Houston, Lisa can be found by the pool eating popsicles with her husband and three school-aged children.

3 Comments

  1. Lisa, this weekend I spent time with someone who is very involved in the Rachel’s Vineyard movement which is an amazing resource for post abortive women. I wonder if you might somehow be able to pass their information to this woman. Also, thank you for sharing this story – I’ve never been in that situation, but have had some other “Silent Observer” moments of my own. Hugs and thanks…

  2. A few years ago, I had a discussion with my friend about that day long ago. Even after a subsequent abortion, several miscarriages and now 3 beautiful children, she told me she had no regrets. I continue to pray for her and be a friend.

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