I wish my husband’s schedule allowed for us to have a real family dinner every night. At this time, we can only have dinner together twice a week. Family dinner is important for talking about the day, giving thanks to God, and just spending time together. It is hard to go to bed and then talk about the day before the next morning with my husband. The time has passed and it feels strange to go to the next day only to go backwards. Discussing how the day went is crucial for communication, but it makes so much more sense to do it at the closing of the same day. I feel we miss out on that time that other families are lucky to have, and we really need that time to sort through the daily grind. The days seem to merge together without any time for reflection as a family. It makes it hard to communicate on anything when our days just go on and on.
We are on completely different schedules, including the weekends. Linus and I wake up and go to bed early. Half our day is over by the time my husband gets up, since he goes to bed around 2 a.m. most nights. Sometimes this frustrates me and I end up rushing my husband to get going in the morning. I make bitter responses because I feel I have accomplished so much already, while he got to sleep in peace. Seeing as he is not a morning person doesn’t make it any easier. We are both praying he will get a different job so some of our schedule problems can be resolved.
I also find dinner very lonely. There are times when I don’t even eat a full dinner and just have a couple snacks. It is hard enough to get Linus to eat, since he loves his “Memes,” but when I get by on snacks, it is not the best example. Dinner just seems so pointless when it is just us two. By that time of the day, I am so tired I just want to relax and get ready for bed. Linus is ready to play outside, get tired out, and then calm down for sleeping. I really need “grownup time” at the end of a day with a toddler. I end up leaning too much on my mom for that conversing that I long to have with my husband, my best friend, at the end of a hard day. That time would only bring us closer and make empathizing so much easier.
Copyright 2011 Tanya Weitzel