She is holding a butterfly but not with clenched hands or fists. She is lifting her open hands to the heavens not trying to hide it from others. She has made the decision, she has held her hands up and her eyes are cast upon the heavens. She stands still waiting for it to fly.
We like the faceless Willow Tree figurine have so many butterflies in our lives that need to be set free. We clinch our fists and hold on so tightly that no one will know what we hide within. We cast our eyes to the ground in sorrow, regret or remorse thinking not of the freedom of the future but only of the scars of the past. We cannot be still because what we hold so tightly if looked upon will paralyze us. So we move about here and there completing tasks, staying busy, we don’t want to think about what’s in our hands. We don’t want to open our hands because then we must face the reality of our world. We don’t want to open our hands to the heavens because we fear God does not have the power to set it free from our hands. But Oh, if only God could…
If God could help us to unclench our hands and our hearts.
If God could only take away the pain, the memory, the anguish, the scars.
If God could give us the strength to know without a doubt if we revealed this He would help us set it free
If God could guarantee it would be painless and quick we would stand there cast our eyes upon him and release it.
This is faith; opening our hands, our hearts and becoming vulnerable to God, believing that although the pain will come that God will give us the strength to get through it, knowing that we are not alone but have someone to hold us up so we can hold our hands to the heavens and set that burdensome butterfly free.
If you do not open your hands, if you do not face the scars, if you do not still yourself, if you do not cast your eyes upon the heavens then all you will find is the cold hard ground beneath your feet, the cramped muscles of your fingers and an unsurpassable sadness. Let it go. Tell a loved one, talk to a counselor, go to someone you trust and let it go. Give yourself permission to release it. Trust that God will give you the people to help you through it believe that God will not abandon you and have faith that a weight will be lifted from your soul if only you let it go.
Copyright 2012 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp