It was a small thing, really.
A friend had asked us to join her for lunch and an outing with the kids, but on my newfound quest to save money and stay home with my brood, I just didn’t have the extra cash to go.
I struggled with the decision to decline her offer.
I’m working so hard to save money, God, I prayed. But this seems like a good thing—fellowship and fun for the kids. Should I just go?
My heart heavy, I loaded up the kids to run some errands around town. At our first stop, the local recycling center, I hoisted the giant tub of papers and magazines out of my car and stooped to gather up armfuls to place in the receptacle.
As I fought the boisterous wind and papers flying around the parking lot, I hurried to finish the task, chucking armful after armful of papers in. About halfway through, I straightened and noticed an envelope on top of the pile, positioned as if someone had placed it thoughtfully just so.
On a whim, I opened the envelope, a mere one out of hundreds in the bin, and found, much to my surprise, a check for $66, made out almost three months ago.
I stared at the check.
I glanced over at my three children, buckled safely in their car seats, watching me expectantly.
I scanned the parking lot, now empty, save for the stray newspaper inserts that had escaped my grasp and now flew merrily about in the blustery fall wind.
And I felt tears prick my eyes.
So often, I am doubtful of God’s working in my life. It seems everywhere I turn, I hear about families’ struggles with cancer, children abused and neglected, tragedies and natural disasters destroying life built up.
And I cringe. I want to hide my life—my small, little life filled with children and the library and cooking dinner with a baby on my hip—and the struggles that pale in comparison.
How can God possibly care about me? About my life?
I feel guilty, ashamed for asking for such a small thing as visiting with a friend on a sunny fall day.
God is there.
Providing blessings, both big and small, in the most unexpected of places.
Copyright 2013 Chaunie Brusie